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ZippyWho · Sep 23rd, 2009, 12:26 AM

Charles, that's what I was coming back and wanted to say....given time....given enough time, things will change.

I didn't see OP's 1 month period.

juneping · Sep 23rd, 2009, 09:33 AM

Originally Posted by Charles

Exactly. You don't trust your driving skills when it's raining, so you don't drive. You don't trust yourself when around another man, so you don't get into a relationship.

:)

lets put the 1 month thing aside.

i don't mean to be religious...but according to bible..the forbidden fruit is right there. if it was locked...i don't think we'd here in this world. it's just we are human...we are not meant to be trusted 100%.

Charles · Sep 23rd, 2009, 10:17 AM

Zippy...of course, but as I said, we're not talking 6 months or a year...this is one month.

June...
Hey...that's Adam, not me. :) (which is another gripe with Christianity, the belief that we're all imperfect cause one man couldn't control himself...but I digress)

And sure, you can never know what your SO is really going to do, but that's what faith in your relationship and faith in your partner is all about. My faith in Kara is what enables me to trust her 100%. You say we're not meant to be trusted, but that doesn't mean we can't be trusted. Everyone is fallible, but everyone's also able to make a conscious choice to control their actions.

Maybe I'm not the norm, but I still stand by the fact that if I'm going to mess around on my girl, I don't need to be in a relationship...period. If I feel that I can't control myself, I'll stop seeing Kara. As it stands, at this point, no matter what, I'm not going to cheat (which can be defined differently for different people) on her, and trust me, I've had opportunities. I care about her feelings too much, and know how much she cares about me and trusts me, that I couldn't do that to her.

Anyhow....OP, good to hear that you're communicating with your man. I'm sure you can work something out.

juneping · Sep 23rd, 2009, 10:25 AM

i blame eve...

DiorDeVille · Sep 23rd, 2009, 08:51 PM

It's easy to develop an emotional attachment to someone who is around you all the time. If there's any hint of chemistry at all, its easy for that "like" or little attachment to grow. Before long you've got an "emotional affair" -and since the other person lives with you, you can't really walk away from it in order to avoid it. Whether that emotional affair would turn physical from there is dependent on the personalities involved.

I don't consider a month a long time, but I've heard that in the military, which I am assuming you are by your location, infidelity is pretty common. Its possible that your SO has seen it happen to friends and co-horts and is being overly cautious as a result. Or he might know something about his friend that you don't. Sometimes its just easier to avoid a situation that could turn hairy, than to get into all these "trust" and "choice" and "faith" philosophical discussions. The heart can be full of surprises and persuaded to do things that we'd never have expected of ourselves. Sometimes basic avoidance is the cleanest, quickest, easiest policy, IMO.

Either way, if he asked the guy to stay, he can ask the guy to leave. It's his call, and I'd just leave it up to him (unless you really want the guy out).

ZippyWho · Sep 24th, 2009, 01:03 AM

Dior, you worded it very nicely. Yeah, I like to avoid these situations too.

Sep 23rd, 2009, 12:26 AM	#16
ZippyWho Member Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 337	Charles, that's what I was coming back and wanted to say....given time....given enough time, things will change. I didn't see OP's 1 month period.
ZippyWho Member Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 337	Last edited by ZippyWho; Sep 23rd, 2009 at 12:31 AM.

Sep 23rd, 2009, 10:17 AM	#18
Charles Sucks at budgeting Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Fl Posts: 6,190	Zippy...of course, but as I said, we're not talking 6 months or a year...this is one month. June... Hey...that's Adam, not me. :) (which is another gripe with Christianity, the belief that we're all imperfect cause one man couldn't control himself...but I digress) And sure, you can never know what your SO is really going to do, but that's what faith in your relationship and faith in your partner is all about. My faith in Kara is what enables me to trust her 100%. You say we're not meant to be trusted, but that doesn't mean we can't be trusted. Everyone is fallible, but everyone's also able to make a conscious choice to control their actions. Maybe I'm not the norm, but I still stand by the fact that if I'm going to mess around on my girl, I don't need to be in a relationship...period. If I feel that I can't control myself, I'll stop seeing Kara. As it stands, at this point, no matter what, I'm not going to cheat (which can be defined differently for different people) on her, and trust me, I've had opportunities. I care about her feelings too much, and know how much she cares about me and trusts me, that I couldn't do that to her. Anyhow....OP, good to hear that you're communicating with your man. I'm sure you can work something out.
	__________________

Sep 23rd, 2009, 10:25 AM	#19
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,332	i blame eve...
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Sep 24th, 2009, 01:03 AM	#21
ZippyWho Member Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 337	Dior, you worded it very nicely. Yeah, I like to avoid these situations too.
ZippyWho Member Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 337

Sep 23rd, 2009, 08:51 PM	#20
DiorDeVille Member Joined: Apr 2006 Location: U.S. Posts: 614	It's easy to develop an emotional attachment to someone who is around you all the time. If there's any hint of chemistry at all, its easy for that "like" or little attachment to grow. Before long you've got an "emotional affair" -and since the other person lives with you, you can't really walk away from it in order to avoid it. Whether that emotional affair would turn physical from there is dependent on the personalities involved. I don't consider a month a long time, but I've heard that in the military, which I am assuming you are by your location, infidelity is pretty common. Its possible that your SO has seen it happen to friends and co-horts and is being overly cautious as a result. Or he might know something about his friend that you don't. Sometimes its just easier to avoid a situation that could turn hairy, than to get into all these "trust" and "choice" and "faith" philosophical discussions. The heart can be full of surprises and persuaded to do things that we'd never have expected of ourselves. Sometimes basic avoidance is the cleanest, quickest, easiest policy, IMO. Either way, if he asked the guy to stay, he can ask the guy to leave. It's his call, and I'd just leave it up to him (unless you really want the guy out).

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