Is it possible to get over him when...

sugarlanddream · Feb 22nd, 2008, 05:24 AM

To make a long story short, I'd fallen for a friend of 2 years. I was going to tell him about my feelings for him in Dec., but stopped myself from doing so when he told me he has commitment issues and just wanted to have fun right now. I tried limiting my contacts with him during our holidays off, but it didn't worked out great when he was searching for an internship and was giving me weekly updates of his findings. Right before school started, I received a text from him telling me that he'll be interning where I am. Basically, I see him Mon-Thurs at our internship (we do every project together and shadow the same director), plus after our internship we have classes together at night and are involved with several on campus clubs and committees...and just last week, we confirmed a graduation trip this June to Hawaii with several other friends in the class. I'm trying really hard to suppress my feelings for him, but it seems like nothing is working because I see him almost everyday! I want to go back to the old feelings I had for him...the 'just as friends feeling' in the beginning...but it doesn't seem like i can right now.

Speedy · Feb 22nd, 2008, 05:34 AM

Aww, honey, I know how this feels. I wish I had some sage advice for you, but I can't think of anyway this would turn out good. If you tell him how you feel and he doesn't feel that way too, you'll be crushed. But if you don't and he doesn't know you are interested, then when he finds someone else you'll be crushed as well.

Such is the heart of a woman. I guess your best bet is to wait and see what signals he sends out, and if you are willing to risk it, tell him how you feel. I wish you the best.

helium · Feb 22nd, 2008, 07:51 AM

Lol sage advice... let me sort through my advice flashcards here...

Ah here, card no. 415, the worst card there is: let life take it's course. You can't do anything in this situation except sit there and listen to songs about unrequited love and weep with a bar of chocolate. To tell him is to kill your friendship. To not tell him is torture. But the upside to not telling him is, one day, he might say he loves you too, but at this point is there is no upside to telling him.

So let life take it's course... and wait... view it from a bittersweet unrequited love drama way if you have to, it makes your situation more romantic and cute as opposed to sad and depressing.

atrinioman · Feb 22nd, 2008, 08:22 AM

Awww, that sucks! You can't even avoid him if you wanted.

Maybe seeing him so much might be good? They do say familiarity breeds contempt. Being thrown together this much might help you get over him faster. Maybe you can concentrate on his annoying traits or negatives? I dunno.

You could try meeting someone else to take your mind off of him. Go on a few dates see if you click with someone. A friend once said the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

Okay, now that I've proabably given you the worse advice on this thread...
I hope it all works out. Hugs to you, and good luck!

merde111 · Feb 22nd, 2008, 01:20 PM

No, atrinioman--I think you gave great advice (welll, at least the first paragraph!)

I had a crush on a guy at work once, but after about two years, I'd really learned enough about him that although I was still attracted to him in many ways, I WASN'T attracted in others. Having had time to get to know him pretty well, I still felt friendly with him, but knew he wouldn't be the man for me and I'd never want to date him.

Minnie05 · Feb 22nd, 2008, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Speedy

Aww, honey, I know how this feels. I wish I had some sage advice for you, but I can't think of anyway this would turn out good. If you tell him how you feel and he doesn't feel that way too, you'll be crushed. But if you don't and he doesn't know you are interested, then when he finds someone else you'll be crushed as well.

Such is the heart of a woman. I guess your best bet is to wait and see what signals he sends out, and if you are willing to risk it, tell him how you feel. I wish you the best.

well put i totally agree. if you are willing to risk your friendship and possible awkwardness, i would talk to him about it!

good luck:)

sugarlanddream · Feb 22nd, 2008, 07:37 PM

Thanks everyone for your advices. I appreciate it a lot!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Speedy

Aww, honey, I know how this feels. I wish I had some sage advice for you, but I can't think of anyway this would turn out good. If you tell him how you feel and he doesn't feel that way too, you'll be crushed. But if you don't and he doesn't know you are interested, then when he finds someone else you'll be crushed as well.

Such is the heart of a woman. I guess your best bet is to wait and see what signals he sends out, and if you are willing to risk it, tell him how you feel. I wish you the best.

Thanks Speedy!

Quote:

Originally Posted by helium

Lol sage advice... let me sort through my advice flashcards here...

Ah here, card no. 415, the worst card there is: let life take it's course. You can't do anything in this situation except sit there and listen to songs about unrequited love and weep with a bar of chocolate. To tell him is to kill your friendship. To not tell him is torture. But the upside to not telling him is, one day, he might say he loves you too, but at this point is there is no upside to telling him.

So let life take it's course... and wait... view it from a bittersweet unrequited love drama way if you have to, it makes your situation more romantic and cute as opposed to sad and depressing.

Aw helium, you said what i'd been doing...listening to music that i can relate to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by atrinioman

Awww, that sucks! You can't even avoid him if you wanted.

Maybe seeing him so much might be good? They do say familiarity breeds contempt. Being thrown together this much might help you get over him faster. Maybe you can concentrate on his annoying traits or negatives? I dunno.

You could try meeting someone else to take your mind off of him. Go on a few dates see if you click with someone. A friend once said the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

Okay, now that I've proabably given you the worse advice on this thread...
I hope it all works out. Hugs to you, and good luck!

lol, I did tried to see the things he do and say annoying....but it wasn't much help when I find those annoying habits and flaws cute!

Quote:

Originally Posted by merde111

No, atrinioman--I think you gave great advice (welll, at least the first paragraph!)

I had a crush on a guy at work once, but after about two years, I'd really learned enough about him that although I was still attracted to him in many ways, I WASN'T attracted in others. Having had time to get to know him pretty well, I still felt friendly with him, but knew he wouldn't be the man for me and I'd never want to date him.

I'm getting to know him more, and sadly to say, I'm falling for him even more. I'm hoping he will someday say something that will make me draw back. When I didn't have these feelings for him, I asked him to a friend's wedding in May, and he said sure he'll go with me. Now i'm just scare of what i'll say to him when we go together.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minnie05

well put i totally agree. if you are willing to risk your friendship and possible awkwardness, i would talk to him about it!

good luck:)

The awkwardness is the only thing I'm afraid of.

helium · Feb 23rd, 2008, 09:13 PM

There's this song I really like... it's in Japanese unfortunately, but if you're bored go look up the video on youtube. It really is the cutest thing ever. It's called "Keep Tryin'" by Utada Hikaru, and there's this line at the end that reminds me of you right now...

shounen wa itsu made mo itsu made mo kata omoi
jounetsu ni jounetsu ni onedan tsukerarenai

My japanese isn't very good, it either means:
"Teenage boys always leave my love unrequited / With passion, with passion, a price can't be put on it".

or "Teenage boys are always in unrequited love / With passion, with passion, a price can't be put on it".

Not that you're in love or are a teenage boy, but I really love that line from the song.

Feb 22nd, 2008, 05:24 AM	#1
sugarlanddream Member	Is it possible to get over him when... To make a long story short, I'd fallen for a friend of 2 years. I was going to tell him about my feelings for him in Dec., but stopped myself from doing so when he told me he has commitment issues and just wanted to have fun right now. I tried limiting my contacts with him during our holidays off, but it didn't worked out great when he was searching for an internship and was giving me weekly updates of his findings. Right before school started, I received a text from him telling me that he'll be interning where I am. Basically, I see him Mon-Thurs at our internship (we do every project together and shadow the same director), plus after our internship we have classes together at night and are involved with several on campus clubs and committees...and just last week, we confirmed a graduation trip this June to Hawaii with several other friends in the class. I'm trying really hard to suppress my feelings for him, but it seems like nothing is working because I see him almost everyday! I want to go back to the old feelings I had for him...the 'just as friends feeling' in the beginning...but it doesn't seem like i can right now.

Feb 22nd, 2008, 05:34 AM	#2
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: Is it possible to get over him when... Aww, honey, I know how this feels. I wish I had some sage advice for you, but I can't think of anyway this would turn out good. If you tell him how you feel and he doesn't feel that way too, you'll be crushed. But if you don't and he doesn't know you are interested, then when he finds someone else you'll be crushed as well. Such is the heart of a woman. I guess your best bet is to wait and see what signals he sends out, and if you are willing to risk it, tell him how you feel. I wish you the best.

Feb 22nd, 2008, 07:51 AM	#3
helium Member	Re: Is it possible to get over him when... Lol sage advice... let me sort through my advice flashcards here... Ah here, card no. 415, the worst card there is: let life take it's course. You can't do anything in this situation except sit there and listen to songs about unrequited love and weep with a bar of chocolate. To tell him is to kill your friendship. To not tell him is torture. But the upside to not telling him is, one day, he might say he loves you too, but at this point is there is no upside to telling him. So let life take it's course... and wait... view it from a bittersweet unrequited love drama way if you have to, it makes your situation more romantic and cute as opposed to sad and depressing.

Feb 22nd, 2008, 08:22 AM	#4
atrinioman Member	Re: Is it possible to get over him when... Awww, that sucks! You can't even avoid him if you wanted. Maybe seeing him so much might be good? They do say familiarity breeds contempt. Being thrown together this much might help you get over him faster. Maybe you can concentrate on his annoying traits or negatives? I dunno. You could try meeting someone else to take your mind off of him. Go on a few dates see if you click with someone. A friend once said the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Okay, now that I've proabably given you the worse advice on this thread... I hope it all works out. Hugs to you, and good luck!

Feb 22nd, 2008, 01:20 PM	#5
merde111 Member Location: Forth Worth, TX	Re: Is it possible to get over him when... No, atrinioman--I think you gave great advice (welll, at least the first paragraph!) I had a crush on a guy at work once, but after about two years, I'd really learned enough about him that although I was still attracted to him in many ways, I WASN'T attracted in others. Having had time to get to know him pretty well, I still felt friendly with him, but knew he wouldn't be the man for me and I'd never want to date him.

Feb 23rd, 2008, 09:13 PM	#8
helium Member	Re: Is it possible to get over him when... There's this song I really like... it's in Japanese unfortunately, but if you're bored go look up the video on youtube. It really is the cutest thing ever. It's called "Keep Tryin'" by Utada Hikaru, and there's this line at the end that reminds me of you right now... shounen wa itsu made mo itsu made mo kata omoi jounetsu ni jounetsu ni onedan tsukerarenai My japanese isn't very good, it either means: "Teenage boys always leave my love unrequited / With passion, with passion, a price can't be put on it". or "Teenage boys are always in unrequited love / With passion, with passion, a price can't be put on it". Not that you're in love or are a teenage boy, but I really love that line from the song.