is it odd that i feel weird?

sophiae · Jun 12th, 2008, 10:36 PM

just today, via myspace "details" i just found out that my ex (who i was with for about 3 1/2 years) is "engaged" and is also "expecting"... oddly enough, i'm over him, but for some reason when i read it, i felt weird, all of a sudden. he and i broke up almost a year ago, and about 4 months after we broke up, he started seeing a younger girl, who started controlling his life, shortly after (checking his cell phone, threatening me and his sisters from HIS cellphone, checking and editing his information on myspace, etc.). since our breakup, we tried to remain friends, helping each other with things and hanging out every now and then. up until about a month and a half ago, his girlfriend started threatening me and harassing me to stay away from him, so i changed my number and haven't talked to him since. why do i feel so weird finding out he may be "engaged" and "expecting"? i'm not hurt, just feeling weird... don't get me wrong, there's someone else that i want to be with, but i just don't get why i feel weird finding this out...

bagnshoofetish · Jun 12th, 2008, 10:43 PM

its normal. he was part of your life and whether or not his circumstances are positive or negative, he is going through a major life change for sure. he picked this girl, its all his problem now. just wish the best for him cause it sounds like he's gonna need it.

sophiae · Jun 12th, 2008, 10:46 PM

i do wish nothing but the best for him. and i hope he's happy, since he's pretty much made his bed. it's unfortunate that we stopped talking because of someone else's jealousy, but it was probably also for the best and for my own personal safety.

ilovepinkhearts · Jun 12th, 2008, 11:06 PM

yeah i would feel a bit weird too. he was part of your life for many years and then no contact and BAM he is engaged and having a baby. so it's normal to feel.. i guess out of loop is the only way i can think to describe it. but like bagnshoo said...wish him well and worry about yourself and this new interest that you have. and from what you wrote she sounds like a handful.

good luck to you,

illinirdhd · Jun 12th, 2008, 11:53 PM

I felt weird when my ex got someone pregnant. Even though I was over him, it was just the push I needed to REALLY get on with my own life! I'm happily married now, and he has a beautiful baby girl (and another on-again, off-again relationship with her mom).

It's normal to feel weird. He's a part of your history, and of course you still care about him. It's very nice of you to wish him well. (And thank God that it's not you who's expecting a baby with a psycho....)

shallow-ish · Jun 12th, 2008, 11:56 PM

I think it's completely normal. You were with him for a long time and so to feel a bit strange about him suddenly getting engaged and be expecting is not weird at all. Too bad it had to be with such a psycho, but like the other posters said, all you can do is wish him the best!

ilovepinkhearts · Jun 13th, 2008, 12:02 AM

"And thank God that it's not you who's expecting a baby with a psycho....)"

hehehe...so true!!

Pursegrrl · Jun 13th, 2008, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilovepinkhearts

"And thank God that it's not you who's expecting a baby with a psycho....)"

hehehe...so true!!

So true! I guess that's why I'm glad I'm not on myspace/facebook. No offense meant, but it would be odd for me to discover that about an ex in that way too!

bagnshoofetish · Jun 13th, 2008, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sophiae

i do wish nothing but the best for him. and i hope he's happy, since he's pretty much made his bed. it's unfortunate that we stopped talking because of someone else's jealousy, but it was probably also for the best and for my own personal safety.

I had an ex once who got married and his wife wanted him to cut all ties with me. I figured, when she feels more secure, we will talk again but till then, no skin off my behind...

sophiae · Jun 13th, 2008, 02:03 AM

thanks, guys! i felt like it was almost wrong for me to feel weird about what i had "found out" about my ex. part of me thinks that his gf just put that info on his page just because she knew that i'd eventually see it. it may or may not be true, but still, to see it, made me really feel weird!

i am completely focused on making this work with the new guy. he and i have been seeing each other about the same length of time as my ex and his gf. he is so different from my ex, and so much better for me in all facets, right now. he's got so much more stability, goals, and no jealous friends! lol!

ShimmaPuff · Jun 13th, 2008, 07:00 AM

It is perfectly normal to feel weird. As just about everybody has pointed out, he was a part of your life!

But I predict that the weirdness will fade pretty quickly, you don't really have room in your heart for it to move in, even if it does a little couch surfing there for a day or two, from what you tell us, you have not only moved on, but moved on to a relationship with much more potential, and most importantly, with someone who is making you happy!

GirlFriday · Jun 13th, 2008, 08:59 AM

Part of you may feel weird because you know that he's marrying a psycho. You still care about him, as a friend, and to know that he may be setting himself up to be unhappy, might be making you feel kind of sorry for him. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I think that's how I'd feel if I were in your situation.

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Jun 13th, 2008, 09:47 AM

this happened with my ex of 3 years.. but i didnt feel weird. i really didnt care because he was an ass. he was a violent, abusive, b!tch, and i was glad to get him outta my life. now he can go stressing with his nasty baby mama, and stress off how to raise a child when he could barely watch his damn self.

but its different, i cant stand my ex. and it seems like if ur ex didnt have a crazy fiance, u two would still be civil.

sophiae · Jun 13th, 2008, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oo0ehxtahcee0oo

this happened with my ex of 3 years.. but i didnt feel weird. i really didnt care because he was an ass. he was a violent, abusive, b!tch, and i was glad to get him outta my life. now he can go stressing with his nasty baby mama, and stress off how to raise a child when he could barely watch his damn self.

but its different, i cant stand my ex. and it seems like if ur ex didnt have a crazy fiance, u two would still be civil.

lol! i agree completely. my ex wasn't abusive or violent, but i understand that he's made his bed and now needs to lay in it. it's true, i think. if his GF wasn't a psycho, we would still be friends. not only that, but his family still loves me like i'm part of them.

LadyLinda · Jun 13th, 2008, 01:25 PM

When my ex remarried on the first day possible after our divorce, I was surprised at my feelings. Weird, for sure, because it wasn't that I wanted him back, ever. He'd been horrible to me and I'd initiated the divorce, in part because I knew he had this girlfriend. It just felt very odd to see him moving on so quickly when I was still, in so many ways, mourning our marriage. We'd been married for 20 years. The good news, though, is that the feeling went away very quickly! What you're feeling is perfectly normal and you'll soon find your equilibrium again.

Jun 12th, 2008, 10:36 PM	#1
sophiae Member Location: california	is it odd that i feel weird? just today, via myspace "details" i just found out that my ex (who i was with for about 3 1/2 years) is "engaged" and is also "expecting"... oddly enough, i'm over him, but for some reason when i read it, i felt weird, all of a sudden. he and i broke up almost a year ago, and about 4 months after we broke up, he started seeing a younger girl, who started controlling his life, shortly after (checking his cell phone, threatening me and his sisters from HIS cellphone, checking and editing his information on myspace, etc.). since our breakup, we tried to remain friends, helping each other with things and hanging out every now and then. up until about a month and a half ago, his girlfriend started threatening me and harassing me to stay away from him, so i changed my number and haven't talked to him since. why do i feel so weird finding out he may be "engaged" and "expecting"? i'm not hurt, just feeling weird... don't get me wrong, there's someone else that i want to be with, but i just don't get why i feel weird finding this out... __________________ Sophia they say what doesn't kill you can make you strong... nowi know what it means. my

Jun 12th, 2008, 10:43 PM	#2
bagnshoofetish We Love Our Billy	its normal. he was part of your life and whether or not his circumstances are positive or negative, he is going through a major life change for sure. he picked this girl, its all his problem now. just wish the best for him cause it sounds like he's gonna need it. __________________ Please help us: http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...nt-392607.html

Jun 12th, 2008, 10:46 PM	#3
sophiae Member Location: california	i do wish nothing but the best for him. and i hope he's happy, since he's pretty much made his bed. it's unfortunate that we stopped talking because of someone else's jealousy, but it was probably also for the best and for my own personal safety. __________________ Sophia they say what doesn't kill you can make you strong... nowi know what it means. my

Jun 12th, 2008, 11:06 PM	#4
ilovepinkhearts hi, i'm danielle Location: Texas	yeah i would feel a bit weird too. he was part of your life for many years and then no contact and BAM he is engaged and having a baby. so it's normal to feel.. i guess out of loop is the only way i can think to describe it. but like bagnshoo said...wish him well and worry about yourself and this new interest that you have. and from what you wrote she sounds like a handful. good luck to you, __________________

Jun 12th, 2008, 11:53 PM	#5
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Location: Las Vegas, NV	I felt weird when my ex got someone pregnant. Even though I was over him, it was just the push I needed to REALLY get on with my own life! I'm happily married now, and he has a beautiful baby girl (and another on-again, off-again relationship with her mom). It's normal to feel weird. He's a part of your history, and of course you still care about him. It's very nice of you to wish him well. (And thank God that it's not you who's expecting a baby with a psycho....) __________________

Jun 12th, 2008, 11:56 PM	#6
shallow-ish Member Location: Sunny SoCal	I think it's completely normal. You were with him for a long time and so to feel a bit strange about him suddenly getting engaged and be expecting is not weird at all. Too bad it had to be with such a psycho, but like the other posters said, all you can do is wish him the best!

Jun 13th, 2008, 12:02 AM	#7
ilovepinkhearts hi, i'm danielle Location: Texas	"And thank God that it's not you who's expecting a baby with a psycho....)" hehehe...so true!! __________________

Jun 13th, 2008, 02:03 AM	#10
sophiae Member Location: california	thanks, guys! i felt like it was almost wrong for me to feel weird about what i had "found out" about my ex. part of me thinks that his gf just put that info on his page just because she knew that i'd eventually see it. it may or may not be true, but still, to see it, made me really feel weird! i am completely focused on making this work with the new guy. he and i have been seeing each other about the same length of time as my ex and his gf. he is so different from my ex, and so much better for me in all facets, right now. he's got so much more stability, goals, and no jealous friends! lol! __________________ Sophia they say what doesn't kill you can make you strong... nowi know what it means. my

Jun 13th, 2008, 07:00 AM	#11
ShimmaPuff Sentient Post Whore Location: Earth	It is perfectly normal to feel weird. As just about everybody has pointed out, he was a part of your life! But I predict that the weirdness will fade pretty quickly, you don't really have room in your heart for it to move in, even if it does a little couch surfing there for a day or two, from what you tell us, you have not only moved on, but moved on to a relationship with much more potential, and most importantly, with someone who is making you happy! __________________ http://www.tzuchi.org/ http://www.commongroundrelief.org http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com/chooseagift.aspx Your Friendly Resident Poor Person Embrace Inspired Pride! http://mangonocturna.blogspot.com/

Jun 13th, 2008, 08:59 AM	#12
GirlFriday Member	Part of you may feel weird because you know that he's marrying a psycho. You still care about him, as a friend, and to know that he may be setting himself up to be unhappy, might be making you feel kind of sorry for him. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I think that's how I'd feel if I were in your situation.

Jun 13th, 2008, 09:47 AM	#13
oo0ehxtahcee0oo ☺Livin the good life Location: ♥In my DF's arms♥	this happened with my ex of 3 years.. but i didnt feel weird. i really didnt care because he was an ass. he was a violent, abusive, b!tch, and i was glad to get him outta my life. now he can go stressing with his nasty baby mama, and stress off how to raise a child when he could barely watch his damn self. but its different, i cant stand my ex. and it seems like if ur ex didnt have a crazy fiance, u two would still be civil. __________________ [Click photo to read thread!] My blog site has great FREE goodies!! (updated 11/26) www,dearmissie.blogspot.com We did it!! New Crafts Subforum celebration here!!

Jun 13th, 2008, 01:25 PM	#15
LadyLinda Member Location: Philadelphia	When my ex remarried on the first day possible after our divorce, I was surprised at my feelings. Weird, for sure, because it wasn't that I wanted him back, ever. He'd been horrible to me and I'd initiated the divorce, in part because I knew he had this girlfriend. It just felt very odd to see him moving on so quickly when I was still, in so many ways, mourning our marriage. We'd been married for 20 years. The good news, though, is that the feeling went away very quickly! What you're feeling is perfectly normal and you'll soon find your equilibrium again.