Is it considered cheating if...

[clevercat]

Nope -in my opinion you're not cheating at all.

[L4F4]

I could see a problem with having a secret job and keeping the income secret, not helping with bills and that kind of thing. But this is some money you won, so I think it's different. I would say that the thing to do in this situation is ask yourself how you would react if your SO did the same thing. Would you be OK with it?

[bagnshoofetish]

Originally Posted by dearmissie

But I could see how others dont find it as lying because they're doing it for unselfish reasons. Again, I understand but not for me.

okay. fair enough.
but do come back here in about 5 - 10 years into your marriage if you still are NEVER keeping even one silly thing from your hubby. If you still cannot do that then you are my hero!!!!

[writtenstars]

i would say, money is the thing that you would like to turn to, and depend on, if something bad happens (ie, sudden death of DH, or suddenly he leaves you)
especially when you have kids too

[Rockst@r]

Originally Posted by L4F4

I could see a problem with having a secret job and keeping the income secret, not helping with bills and that kind of thing. But this is some money you won, so I think it's different. I would say that the thing to do in this situation is ask yourself how you would react if your SO did the same thing. Would you be OK with it?

I'd be happy if he saved money! Even if he won money and stashed it, I would not be mad. But, I am not a spender so he would not have to worry about me! The issue with me is, what is he using it for? Is he just saving, or financing a chickie on the side? Unless a chickie is involved, it's all good!

[Rockst@r]

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

okay. fair enough. but do come back here in about 5 - 10 years into your marriage if you still are NEVER keeping even one silly thing from your hubby. If you still cannot do that then you are my hero!!!!

I know NO woman that tells her DH every little thing, and RUN if any man claims he tells all...I am not jaded, but I don't believe it. Some things aren't worth the argument, or just the fact that as an adult I answer to no one 100% of the time. The issue to me is if big things (cheating) are being withheld. After 11yrs together and 7yrs married, there isn't anything that I am doing that would call for divorce if he knew. To the contrary, DH would think of my savings as Christmas in August!

[Rockst@r]

I worked with a girl that said her and her BF shared everything, no secrets, that their relationship was so perfect...until he shut off her cell phone and stole her money. He was cheating. So no, he was not telling her everything. I say always keep your eyes open (but that's a diff topic!), but she was 19 and starry-eyed. I might have been 25 back then, but I've never been a starry-eyed type of gal. I don't do anything that keeps me from sleeping at night, but full disclosure...not all of the time.

[SOLIDGOLD2]

I don't think it's cheating
If he's the spender and it makes you feel safe and/or secure that your saving money and he doesn't know about it, it's fine and you should do what feels right to you.