[lilflobowl]

Last night I found out from my sister that my dad had decided to migrate permanently. I'm 25 this year & my parents have been separated since I was 12 & divorced since I was 21, after which my dad remarried a few months later.

I know I'm old enough to be able to handle this & I've accepted it but I just can't help but feel upset. It feels like the time when I was 12, when my dad told my sisters & I that he was moving out to live with his then-mistress (now his wife). It feels like I've "lost" my dad all over again to her, although the circumstances are somewhat different this time.

I had a bout of crying last night & thought, well, he might be in a different country but thankfully it's only an hour's flight away, plus my best friend & SO both said they would come with me to visit him so I felt better... until this afternoon at work.

My dad called to tell me himself, how he's already put his house up for sale & how he's got all his plans worked out, & I'm feeling all those conflicted emotions well up again. It feels so.. final. I'm sad that I won't have my weekly lunches with my dad, won't be able to take time-off from work to rush to his side in case he doesn't feel well (this has happened before), won't be able to keep him company if he's bored, & I feel guilty of not having spent more time with him when I could. I know I won't be able to fly up to visit him often 'cos he doesn't want us to tell our mom.

It hasn't happen yet but I miss him already.

I was talking to another friend about this online after my dad's call & told her how my dad put his place up for sale. Almost immediately she asked me to get my dad to let her sell his place. (My friend doesn't have a license yet to sell real estate though.) I'm not sure if I was being over-sensitive about this but I felt that it was so callous; that she would think of making money out of the situation instead of understanding that this is something that upsets me. After she mentioned that I told her that I didn't want anyone close to me to sell his house 'cos I feel that that person would be helping to quicken the process of my dad leaving & her reply was "well, he's going to leave sooner or later" so I just logged off after telling her that I couldn't believe she could be so callous.

She tried calling me to apologise but I was on the line with my sister plus after the conversation I didn't feel like talking much so she sent me a text message to apologise & to say she takes back what she said.

I'm not angry at her. I don't think I ever was... I guess I was & am just upset. It just didn't help the situation, KWIM? On top of that there are some issues at work that I know I'm going to bear the brunt for although the issues aren't my fault (I have proof & my boss has seen it).

Hope you guys don't mind the outpouring; it's just been a rough kinda week & I need to let this out.

[oo0ehxtahcee0oo]

I'm sorry you had to go throu this. But look on the bright side! Your Dad is only an hours flight away!! From what is written it sounds like even though your paents were separated and divorced you still got to see your father!! You both are very lucky to have had that opprotunity! Many times when parents split its hard to keep that close connection kwim? I wish you nothing but the best! You're a strong woman! If you need anything, even just to vent more, were here for ya girly!!

[boxermom]

Of course this is hard. This is a kind of loss for you and you're grieving. Some people can embrace change, but I'm not good with it at all--it always throws me and I don't like feeling uncertain. Maybe that's part of what has you upset.

This is one of those times that you WILL get through, but it's rough at times

Best wishes to you.

[Veelyn]

Its totally normal to feel this way! Like oO0ehx said, atleast he is only an hours flight away and not 20! I wish you the best, time heals all wounds!