IMPORTANT about Relationships & Family Forum

[heartnaspade]

^^^ I agree. I don't see anything wrong with asking for a special sub-forum, especially since people have done so in a really polite and diplomatic way. Megs has said that it just isn't something that's being considered right now, but I think it's fine for people to express an interest so that it's something to be considered. And I agree with the sentiment that it isn't that simple to just go out and create your own forum - this forum is really unique in its mix of people and personalities, and I can see why some people view it as a kind of safe haven.

[nathansgirl1908]

Originally Posted by candace117

I don't see why Charles suggesting the private sub-forum is any different than the people who were clamoring for a crafts sub-forum, a travel sub-forum, or anything else we have asked M&V to add over the years. To imply that people should just make their own forums for other interests is a bit silly, since a lot of people use all the non-designer related forums and therefore aren't just here for purses. And real life is about a lot more than just purses, non? .

Not necessarily. It's not silly because Megs said that right now such a forum is not going to come into being. And it appears that some poeple really, really want this, so I would think that the best advice would be for them to start their own. I think that is a great idea. After all, isn't that what people are always encouraged to do when they want to make a change that may not necessarily be accepted by others in the same group? To branch out and start/do their own thing? Who knows? It could really develop into something big. Something where people could potentially get GOOD advice without a bunch of pervs and grossies ruining it for everyone.

[ChristyR143]

Right.

#1. The appropriate place to request such a forum would be the feedback dropbox and NOT a thread started by Megs to address an issue happening in an already existing forum.

#2. Megs has already stated that a sex forum is not something they are considering right now.

Not sure what the issue is here or why I am needing to explain it further. Seems pretty simple if you ask me.

[Megs]

Originally Posted by nathansgirl1908

That one definitely isn't explicit and I get the impression that topics like that which are more generic would be okay. I may be wrong though.

Generic sex topics are fine, they really are. It obviously will come up in conversations about relationships.

[Megs]

I am not speaking as if there is explicit sex talk running rampant. If it came off that way I do apologize because I did not want people to think that I find a huge massive problem.

I have seen a trend of more and more sexual posts coming up that are just a bit much. If I ever were to consider allowing these topics to be discussed it would HAVE to be a private forum. I would not want people googling and finding our forum for the more sexual topics. So this is something Vlad and I will consider in the future.

Sex can be a touchy subject - as all people have different views on sex, some more conservative and some more liberal. In a similar way that politics and religious talk can cause issues and we do not want them on the forum, I have seen some of the more recent sex threads cause the same issues. The last thing we want is to create a huge divide with members on the forum, which I truly believe allowing religion and politics will do. I can see that sex topics can do something similar. Sex is a subject that probes into people's morals and values, which people are defensive about. So this is also about keeping some peace on the board.

Anyhow, I appreciate the feedback, but again, right now we are not changing it or adding a sex forum to tPF. I do appreciate everyone's views on it

[Megs]

I just wanted to add that having an 'adult rated' forum would be similar to our True Crimes section, though we would have to allow people in. This way only people who wanted to be part of it would have access. Those who did not wish to read any of it do not even have to see it. I need to ask Vlad if this would be hard to set up - because it would be like a second 'MP' situation as far as the programming of the forum goes. But I will come back to thinking about it after the first of the year.

[caxe]

Originally Posted by Leah411

I still don't get it. If explicit sexual talk online is so very important for some members, instead of asking the owner of another forum to make a change to THEIR forum, why not simply start your own sex forum instead of continuing to complain here? Anyone can start a forum and you can even do it for free. Some friends of mine did it when they wanted to expand to an area that was not going to happen on the original forum. They invited like-minded and interested members from the original forum, and it worked out great for everyone involved. It's a simple way to get what you want and the ones who want this need met would get to be in charge and make the rules. Of course, you would also have to do the work and take the responsibility. I know the protest of some to this idea would be that they wouldn't get the traffic that tPF does. Well, Megs and Vlad earned that traffic through years of hard work. Anyone else can do the same if they put the effort into it. Megs made her decision clear. Why not respect her and all the hard work she does and find a different solution to your "problem" by those members who 'need' a sex forum setting up their own forum? Nathansgirl made an excellent point about the fact that certain discussions are not allowed on the forum....religion and politics, for example....so the decision about not allowing explicit sexual discussions should be respected as well.

I agree with this. I mean, to me the answer is so OBVIOUS. If you think you're too sexy for tPF, join a forum where sexually explicit talk is allowed and or encouraged! There are tons of 'em! What Megs has said about this makes perfect sense. It's her forum, so she can do what she wants! I mean, it's not like we pay fees or dues or anything...we really shouldn't complain too much.

[candace117]

Originally Posted by nathansgirl1908

Not necessarily. It's not silly because Megs said that right now such a forum is not going to come into being. And it appears that some poeple really, really want this, so I would think that the best advice would be for them to start their own. I think that is a great idea. After all, isn't that what people are always encouraged to do when they want to make a change that may not necessarily be accepted by others in the same group? To branch out and start/do their own thing? Who knows? It could really develop into something big. Something where people could potentially get GOOD advice without a bunch of pervs and grossies ruining it for everyone.

I think most of the people that really want it (and I do not consider myself in that group, because I don't really care either way); would only want it on tpf because of all the aforementioned reasons with feeling safe. I may post something on a forum anywhere on tpf on any topic, because I want YOUR opinions. If I made a sex forum separately, I would have to go through all the tpf members that I know and socialize with, and ask them to join my forum so we can talk about other topics that aren't on tpf. That's asking a lot. So my method is just pming people if I need to talk about something hehe. But I see how others may prefer an open (even if it's 'closed', hehe) forum.

It is just an additional part of our huge community, so people do not want to separate that, they want to have it be a part of what they already belong to. And I can see the value in that.
It's an Army thing for me - I prefer to keep things 'in house' if I can. That's how we fix most problems.


I do not see people who have access to a private sex forum automatically talking about really gross things or making it really nasty. I see it as a place where people can be unafraid to bring up sensitive issues that may need some explicit words and explicit responses.

And Megs has already said her piece and isn't closing the thread due to her not wanting us chatting about it. So I don't think the others saying that we are wrong for discussing it is really necessary and rather patrionizing. We all know that M&V are in charge! We know if they want to do something, they will do it, and if they don't...well tough titties to those of us who want it! Nobody was challenging her and being rude, but the 'no duh' attitude that it's Megs' decision on the bottom line, was a little unnecessary.

[candace117]

Originally Posted by Megs

I just wanted to add that having an 'adult rated' forum would be similar to our True Crimes section, though we would have to allow people in. This way only people who wanted to be part of it would have access. Those who did not wish to read any of it do not even have to see it. I need to ask Vlad if this would be hard to set up - because it would be like a second 'MP' situation as far as the programming of the forum goes. But I will come back to thinking about it after the first of the year.

Thank you for considering what people are saying I think a lot of the regular members only have tpf's best interests in mind and want to help you do what is best for the community. I am positive if you wanted help with this particular issue, you could find people willing to do so (Charles comes to mind).

[caitlin1214]

Hehe . . . if Charles ran that subforum, here's a sample application:


Name:
Turn ons and Turn offs (explicit detail is preferable):

Please include nude photos of yourself.

[exotikittenx]

I definitely don't think that requesting a "Sex Forum" is the same as requesting a gardening, arts and crafts, travel, or other topic forum. Let's be real here, lol. Sex is completely different in nature than these other topics and this is a forum for people of all ages.

I don't get why so many people are trying to argue this and making such a big deal out of Megs' request. Just join a sex forum if it's so important to you, simple as that. Yes, there are other topics in the "Purse Forum," but a sex forum can take all different directions and even lead to something more graphic that this just isn't the environment for. And who knows what kinds of weirdos it will attract. I know I don't want that here. There are already places for that. I think we need to keep the purse forum and a more graphic sex forum separate. Megs is simply asking for us to keep it PG13. I think we need to respect that.

I know that people want to keep "everything all in the same place" and have the purse forum suit every single one of their needs, but I think people just need to deal with it and use the other resources the internet has to offer. I think this is just asking too much. People will somehow manage to get their sex issues sorted out someplace else.

[BagLadie]

Originally Posted by exotikittenx

I definitely don't think that requesting a "Sex Forum" is the same as requesting a gardening, arts and crafts, travel, or other topic forum. Let's be real here, lol. Sex is completely different in nature than these other topics and this is a forum for people of all ages. I don't get why so many people are trying to argue this and making such a big deal out of Megs' request. Just join a sex forum if it's so important to you, simple as that. Yes, there are other topics in the "Purse Forum," but a sex forum can take all different directions and even lead to something more graphic that this just isn't the environment for. And who knows what kinds of weirdos it will attract. I know I don't want that here. There are already places for that. I think we need to keep the purse forum and a more graphic sex forum separate. Megs is simply asking for us to keep it PG13. I think we need to respect that. I know that people want to keep "everything all in the same place" and have the purse forum suit every single one of their needs, but I think people just need to deal with it and use the other resources the internet has to offer. I think this is just asking too much. People will somehow manage to get their sex issues sorted out someplace else.

GRRRR NO ONE is wanting a "SEX FORUM"!!!! My god all we said was that maybe if people on here wanted to continue to talk about sex....maybe we could think about a sex sub forum....as not to offend anyone.

[candace117]

hmm...........

[Charles]

Originally Posted by BagLadie

GRRRR NO ONE is wanting a "SEX FORUM"!!!! My god all we said was that maybe if people on here wanted to continue to talk about sex....maybe we could think about a sex sub forum....as not to offend anyone.

Thank you!! Again, no one is complaining about M&V's requests. I was simply offering a suggestion that might satisfy everyone. Did M&V ask for a suggestion...no, but they didn't not ask for one either. From there, I was addressing people's shooting down my suggestion. I'm not jonesing for a sex forum, trust me. I'm a member of multiple forums and most of them have a more mature area, so it's not like I'm lacking a sex forum outlet in my life.

Originally Posted by Megs

I just wanted to add that having an 'adult rated' forum would be similar to our True Crimes section, though we would have to allow people in. This way only people who wanted to be part of it would have access. Those who did not wish to read any of it do not even have to see it. I need to ask Vlad if this would be hard to set up - because it would be like a second 'MP' situation as far as the programming of the forum goes. But I will come back to thinking about it after the first of the year.

Thank you again!

[Bella]

Originally Posted by Charles

I'm not jonesing for a sex forum, trust me. I'm a member of multiple forums and most of them have a more mature area, so it's not like I'm lacking a sex forum outlet in my life.