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Jul 1st, 2009, 03:16 PM
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#16 |
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Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 359
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aww..thanks everyone. i feel much better now.
ami kio - you're right. they seem to always find something to pick on. i was on a diet & was 96lbs, still my family found something else wrong with me. so i gave up on the diet thing. thanks again ladies |
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Jul 1st, 2009, 03:21 PM
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#17 | ||||
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bubblehead
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,807
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Jul 1st, 2009, 03:22 PM
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#18 |
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Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 187
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I know how the OP feels, I was about the same weight in highschool and got grief over it from my Asian parents, family, asian friends - telling me over and over again to just drop like 10lbs. I think the standard is just too skewed. I don't think the OP is fat or anywhere near it; so long as she is happy with herself and her body image, I don't feel she needs to change for them.
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Jul 1st, 2009, 03:36 PM
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#19 |
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I heart PINK!
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,277
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105 lbs is NOT fat or even sort of close to being overweight.
Please don't let these rude ppl ruin your self esteem. I think it's pretty obvious that they were putting you down to make themselves feel better about themselves. |
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I want a teal bag, dangit! |
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Jul 1st, 2009, 03:36 PM
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#20 |
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Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: California
Posts: 1,335
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I know exactly how you feel. I'm a size 4 and my parents consider me fat just because my little sister is extremely skinny and has barely reached puberty. My mom is Asian and I did not know that this behavior is common, so this is all very interesting for me to hear. She gets on me constantly about my body, even when I exercise daily and be extremely careful of what I eat. It may hurt to hear it from someone outside of the family, but it's no better when you have to live with it. The best thing to do is to ignore it and realize they're being insecure on their end for having to tell you so
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Jul 1st, 2009, 03:39 PM
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#21 |
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purse oracle
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 242
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Are these people you would feel comfortable giving a snappy comeback to?
If so, I have a few nefarious suggestions... |
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Jul 1st, 2009, 03:56 PM
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#22 |
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Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 702
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I feel ya, I'm asian 5'5" and was really skinny (for me) at 125. I've always been the "big" girl in the family. I'm sorry that the lady was rude, but I wouldn't let it get you down. 105 is NOT fat and I wouldn't waste anymore time on what she thinks.
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Jul 1st, 2009, 03:58 PM
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#23 |
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Ooh la la!
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: The City of Plain 'n Proper
Posts: 5,986
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Seriously, she must have said it out of jealousy. 105 pounds is TINY! Those people were rude and she probably said it to bother you, so don't let it, please! I can't believe someone would say something so rude, especially when she's twice your size!
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Jul 1st, 2009, 04:23 PM
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#24 |
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couch potato-ing
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,032
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that's crazy.....
though asian standard about weight is different from american but it's not common for asian to straight out tell ppl fat or not. that's just rude. usually when i heard ppl in HK mentioned about weight...they usually only mentioned it when you still look good. if the fat person looks horrible..we just don't tell it in ppl's faces...... |
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 wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off
 $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...  |
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Jul 1st, 2009, 04:36 PM
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#25 |
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windy city
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,352
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ksdfjsl;kdjfalskdfj!!!!!
That's gibberish/me being in shock. I would have just walked away! You're not fat, ignore it and take the high road! |
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Jul 1st, 2009, 04:47 PM
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#26 |
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Chuck+Blair=<3
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: East Bay, CA
Posts: 3,858
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*sigh* "is she Asian?" also went through my mind when I read this.
I am also 105, wear a size XS, and 25 waist in jeans, and I get called fat by my Dad sometimes. I get called fat ALL THE TIME from my Aunts, they just straight up tell me that I've gained weight and that I need to lose weight before I become a heffer. They're just huge jealous bitches IMO. OP, don't listen to them. You're NOT fat and they're just delusional and jealous. Let them stare at the cake while you eat it, because life is too short to take that kind of verbal abuse from people who just simply aren't worth it. |
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Jul 1st, 2009, 05:00 PM
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#27 |
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Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 702
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After reading this thread I think we should start a support group for all the Asian girls who are called fat by their parents/aunts/uncles/sibling/random asian people.
What I find hard to compute is that I'm the "fat" girl at home but the "skinny" girl at work (well not now since I am preggo). |
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Jul 1st, 2009, 05:05 PM
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#28 |
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To buy or not to buy
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 913
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OP - please please please do not feel bad about it. 105lbs is not overweight by ANY means. 105lbs is S-K-I-N-N-Y!
I know there's a lot of pressure to be thin but you already are thin! Do you know how many people would love to 105lbs?? I think part of it is just the Asian community and I hate to say it but I've been in those shoes and I know what it feels like. Let them be jealous, let them spend their energy trying to put you down but please do not stress and do not believe them! The issue isn't with you. It's with them and I hate to say it but Asian families tend to just put a lot of pressure on every single thing (at least my family does and most of the other Asian families I know of do). There is certainly a strong sense for perfection and to always be better. I think it's just important for you to not buy into the unrealistic expectations and be truly happy with yourself. Heck, my own grandmother told me I needed to go get a boob job (and while she is correct LOL) I just let it go into one ear and out the other because you know what? I'm okay with who I am and how my body is. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters because you're the only one who has to deal with you. |
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Jul 1st, 2009, 05:06 PM
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#29 |
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WAHOO!!!
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,291
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You sure you didn't misunderstand/ mis-hear her? Maybe she said "You're sad" or something?
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Jul 1st, 2009, 05:07 PM
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#30 | ||||
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To buy or not to buy
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 913
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Ahh yes, I've also gotten the fat comments. All my life, I've been very underweight and it concerned my family. When I went to college, I gained the infamous freshman 15 and went home to lots of fat jokes (I barely weighed over 100 lbs by then). I remember becoming a major gym rat and losing about 15-20 lbs to please my family but when I got home, what happened? It became the "you're too unhealthy and skinny" talks again. *sigh* Could never please them. I stopped trying after that but it was a huge lesson for me to be comfortable with my body. |
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