[LVoeLV]

so one of the guys to my bf out for a ride on their quad, my bf loved it and bought one the next day, and then bought another one 3 days later. and all he wants to do is ride his quad. they ride EVERYDAY for like 5 hours or more at a time. And even shittier, its kinda a one person thing so, that means i'm stuck on my own. hes been complaining about nothaving much money, but he bought 2 quads and a brand new helmet and stuff. All he does is clean that thing (idk he just gets it dirty 12 hours later...if that)

i mean i could understand working on cars, hey i like cars. but this quad thing. ridiculas, and what is there really to clean its plastic! its not like anything gonna happen to plastic. even with cars, he wasnt this obsessed.

and hes a big forum person, so when he does come home from riding, its just straight to the quad forums.

and we had just gotten in a really huge fight, his stuff STILL isnt moved back into my place. idk.

he is the type of person to get really into something and then totally be over i in a few months, but its gonna be taking it those months thats annoying.

PLUS apparently quads arent just a summer thing, they are out enjoying some snow fun tonight. so that means this is gonna be ALLLLL year long. so idk if his passing in a few months thing is gonig to apply here.

and, okay so like i said most of the time you dont have someone riding on the back, well....one of the other guys hasnt gotten his new quad yet so my BF has been taking him on the back of his, and this is like a 200+ lb kid, but does he ever ask me nooooooooooo. and i weight 120 WTF.

needless to say, im pretty pissed about the whole thing. idk what to do, i really cant say anything cause we had just gotten into that big fight

but i dont think i am out of line, when you hang out all day with the guys and talk to them the instant you wake up, and then are just on the forums all night its kinda shitty for the other person.

i pretty much dont talk to him, he calls me to keep me updated with where he is and what hes doing, calls or texts every like 6 hrs. but thats it.

even when we go out to eat he always takes his friends, even if he hasnt seen me all day. hes always been like that. its really annoying.

idk if he'll ever change. and then its like idk what to do, do i wait it out or. idk. we've been together almost 2 years.

anyways, not really asking for advice, just wanted to vent.

But if your BF also is obsessed with quads, please chime in.

[decocritter]

Sounds like a really satisfying "relationship" and lots of fun.

Go shop or play with your friends and don't answer his calls and take his "updates" except every six hours...

[dusty paws]

My BF used to be big into a fantasy baseball forum. He finally won the world series and quit (thank god!)

Would you want to try riding a quad too? They're actually a lot of fun. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! But make sure you do things for yourself too while he is out having fun with his pals -- you can hit the mall or go get a coffee and a pedi/mani. There's just something so nice about having some alone pamper time, KWIM? Good luck though!

[Speedy]

Originally Posted by decocritter

Go shop or play with your friends and don't answer his calls and take his "updates" except every six hours...

I totally agree with DecoCritter on this one.

My DH isn't like this, but my daughter's DH is. Only for them it's motorcycles. They each bought one, and he was so totally into it for about two weeks. Then he went back to being a couch potato.

She left him.

Granted, it's the opposite of what you are going through, but it seems to me that his friends take presidence over you all the time. I'd rethink the relationship if I were you.

Good luck!

[HubbaWubba]

Ah young love. How old are you and your bf?

I always tell female friends of mine don't let your bf be your entertainment director. Get your own life. Find things to do on your own or make your own friends. Boys will be boys. They like cars and anything with a motor in it. Why not ask if you can join him and his friends a few times. You might like it. If he says its a guy thing, then maybe find someone who is as needy as you are when it comes to a relationship. Oh and don't take that the wrong way. When you get in a more mature relationship, you won't have to ask if you can tag along, your bf will ask you.

[jellybebe]

I dated a guy like this once, where his friends were the world to him. They were constantly over at his place, even when we were supposed to be on a date. Eventually it got kinda annoying plus I knew he would always pick his friends over me. Needless to say, that relationship didn't work out. There were other issues that caused us to stop seeing each other, but I'm sure the friends constantly being around would have been a huge problem. If this is how he has always been, he will never change. Seriously.

[lithiumpearl]

Honestly it sounds you're more like his mom, the female in his life with whom he has to "check in" and update so that they don't worry since you're not holding more heartfelt conversations. I think it's great that he has his own passions and hobbies, as lame as they seem to you (my bf is also into forums and used to be addicted to fantasy baseball as well!), and I totally agree that you should have your own life so that when you come back together, you can share your own individual experiences and continue to intrigue and interest each other.

Problem is, it doesn't really sound like you guys are coming back together and sharing your lives with each other if all he wants to do is his own thing and spend quality time with people who aren't his girlfriend. Seems to me like the issue is you feeling like you're not even on his priority list at all. Like many other of the posters, I also dated a guy that always wanted to do things with his friends. Which was fine since his friends were cool, except when you consider the fact that we were in a long distance relationship and hardly ever saw each other and then when I went to see him we never did anything without his friends!! Needless to say, we didn't last and I'm now with someone who enjoys his space and the occasional boys night out, but always makes an effort to see me and keep me a big part of his life though we are both very busy people.

You said that you don't expect him to change (I agree, attitudes/perspectives like this rarely change without lots of pushing and wanting on his behalf), so you may really want to evaluate this relationship. Do you really want to spend another two years of your life seeing if he'll actually make you a bigger priority?

[bagnshoofetish]

doesn't sound like much of a relationship since it takes two people to be in it. it sounds like he is just being a boy still. he wants to play with his toys with his friends. there is really nothing inherently wrong with that but he shouldn't really be in a committed relationship with someone if he isn't prepared or willing to spend quality time with you. you have to decide if you are willing to keep on dating a little boy or wait for him to grow up. most guys I know have something that they like to do on the side. but most guys I know can balance both. your bf doesn't sound like he really wants to yet. he is a free man and you are a free woman. if you want to stay with him, you better find something that will keep you equally occupied.

p.s. keeping his stuff clean is a good thing. don't knock him for taking care of his bikes.