i think i'm tired

rensky · Jun 4th, 2008, 08:28 PM

recently there have been soooooo many arguments between me and my bf...on and off...we've been together for so many years...little things piss me off and i'm not sure why...he questions that i don't care much about him...and i feel that he should be more sensitive to my feelings...

i know im not descriptive...but for like 10 minutes we're laughing hard, and for the next 5 hours we're in a cold war...

does this happen after being together for so long? is it my problem?

just wanted to share..

cfred · Jun 4th, 2008, 09:02 PM

I don't know-- are you fighting about big or little things? My guy and I have been together for ten years. Occasionally, we have bigger arguments but usually it's that we get into a bicker stage.
In that event, we have to break the cycle a bit by changing our behavior or spending a little time apart.
If you are committed to him and interested in preserving your relationship maybe you can just not be so hard on each other and realize that couples spend a lot of time together-- usually more time than with anyone else-- and you can get on each other's nerves.
I think relationships go through up and down phases. It's up to you to decide if this is a phase, or something more serious.
Hope you feel better (and by the way, I think the laughing together is a good sign.)

Bagluvluv · Jun 4th, 2008, 09:17 PM

I think that to an extent, this is normal.....

Ive been married for 16 years and this sounds very familar to me...I think this happens when two ppl are really really close and certain little things ticks a person off for no good reason really.....

I seem to see a pattern of ups and downs in a long term relationship.....its nice at times and bothersome at other times....its better to recongize this as part of human nature and maybe hold your tongue and maybe dodge alittle out of the way so each other can feel less annoyed....

Lululovebags · Jun 4th, 2008, 10:45 PM

my bf and me have been together for abt 7 years now and the arguments are still coming in steadily...i think, we should be worried if we don't fight at all! doesn't seem too normal eh?
but just bear in mind that there will be always be ups and downs in anything, not only keeping a relationship alive, so there..u just have to ride it out..

April_Skye · Jun 5th, 2008, 04:09 AM

I will never forget the words my mother once told me:
"Dont spread yourself too thin. Familiarity breeds contempt."

Sounds like you too need to ignite that spark again!

dusty paws · Jun 5th, 2008, 01:02 PM

^I agree with April. Perhaps a nice weekend away for the two of you to just unwind and reconnect would do wonders.

lovinalotofbags · Jun 5th, 2008, 05:12 PM

When you find yourself about the say something that will ignite an argument, stop and think about it. If what I am about to say petty, vindicative, picky, etc. B/c if it is something that he has always done, then no need to bring it up. Sit down calmly and tell each other, without yelling, how you feel.

elizat · Jun 5th, 2008, 09:43 PM

Uggh, I can understand. But, I agree about going on a trip to reconnect and trying some of the things listed if you want to try to make it work.

Emotus · Jun 6th, 2008, 01:43 AM

Go out and have some fun! I been with my SO for 5 years now. We still bicker everyday but somehow, we always manage to laugh it off. LOL

jellybebe · Jun 7th, 2008, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rensky

recently there have been soooooo many arguments between me and my bf...on and off...we've been together for so many years...little things piss me off and i'm not sure why...he questions that i don't care much about him...and i feel that he should be more sensitive to my feelings...

i know im not descriptive...but for like 10 minutes we're laughing hard, and for the next 5 hours we're in a cold war...

does this happen after being together for so long? is it my problem?

just wanted to share..

Ugh this sounds like me and my bf. Like you, one minute we're having a ball, the next we're at each other's throats. Doesn't help that I'm moving away for school alone and I can't stand his family... What to do? Have you thought more about this?

VPT · Jun 7th, 2008, 05:33 PM

Maybe it just means that you both are not completely compatible. Nothing to do with number of years spent together or how often you quarrel. If this irks you means you are not cool with it. Marrying him will be disastrous! I know of a real life couple who have been married 9 years and courting for 10 years before marriage. They have always been at loggerheads with each other since they were dating and never had a real problem with it, in fact they love to argue. They have 2 children and their marriage is stronger than ever. I won't say this marriage is the perfect one to have, if they are comfortable with constant retorts then their marriage is perfect in their eyes. I on the other hand love peace and quietness, if my DH argues with me 24/7 I would have done something drastic a long time ago.

Jun 4th, 2008, 08:28 PM	#1
rensky damier once again Location: OC, SoCal	i think i'm tired recently there have been soooooo many arguments between me and my bf...on and off...we've been together for so many years...little things piss me off and i'm not sure why...he questions that i don't care much about him...and i feel that he should be more sensitive to my feelings... i know im not descriptive...but for like 10 minutes we're laughing hard, and for the next 5 hours we're in a cold war... does this happen after being together for so long? is it my problem? just wanted to share.. __________________ - i believe i'm banned -

Jun 4th, 2008, 09:17 PM	#3
Bagluvluv Think, Think, Think! Location: On my cell	I think that to an extent, this is normal..... Ive been married for 16 years and this sounds very familar to me...I think this happens when two ppl are really really close and certain little things ticks a person off for no good reason really..... I seem to see a pattern of ups and downs in a long term relationship.....its nice at times and bothersome at other times....its better to recongize this as part of human nature and maybe hold your tongue and maybe dodge alittle out of the way so each other can feel less annoyed.... __________________ Want for everybody, all that you want for yourself-----Wallace D. Wattles I'm soooo done....

Jun 4th, 2008, 10:45 PM	#4
Lululovebags Member Location: Earth	my bf and me have been together for abt 7 years now and the arguments are still coming in steadily...i think, we should be worried if we don't fight at all! doesn't seem too normal eh? but just bear in mind that there will be always be ups and downs in anything, not only keeping a relationship alive, so there..u just have to ride it out.. __________________ "keep your head up high. there are ppl that would kill to see you fall".

Jun 5th, 2008, 04:09 AM	#5
April_Skye we CAN have it all Location: over there..... and down a bit	I will never forget the words my mother once told me: "Dont spread yourself too thin. Familiarity breeds contempt." Sounds like you too need to ignite that spark again! __________________ Live Now. Kill The Boredom

Jun 5th, 2008, 01:02 PM	#6
dusty paws Vuitton on the brain Location: RAOKville!	^I agree with April. Perhaps a nice weekend away for the two of you to just unwind and reconnect would do wonders. __________________ laura's teeny wishlist: [] mono french purse [] trevi pm [] seleya pm [] mono cles Laura and my babies: http://www.dustypaws.com My blog: http://makeupandpearls.blogspot.com/

Jun 4th, 2008, 09:02 PM	#2
cfred not humored	I don't know-- are you fighting about big or little things? My guy and I have been together for ten years. Occasionally, we have bigger arguments but usually it's that we get into a bicker stage. In that event, we have to break the cycle a bit by changing our behavior or spending a little time apart. If you are committed to him and interested in preserving your relationship maybe you can just not be so hard on each other and realize that couples spend a lot of time together-- usually more time than with anyone else-- and you can get on each other's nerves. I think relationships go through up and down phases. It's up to you to decide if this is a phase, or something more serious. Hope you feel better (and by the way, I think the laughing together is a good sign.)

Jun 5th, 2008, 05:12 PM	#7
lovinalotofbags In for the long haul Location: South Carolina	When you find yourself about the say something that will ignite an argument, stop and think about it. If what I am about to say petty, vindicative, picky, etc. B/c if it is something that he has always done, then no need to bring it up. Sit down calmly and tell each other, without yelling, how you feel. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Jun 5th, 2008, 09:43 PM	#8
elizat Member	Uggh, I can understand. But, I agree about going on a trip to reconnect and trying some of the things listed if you want to try to make it work.

Jun 6th, 2008, 01:43 AM	#9
Emotus Member Location: Not so fine singapore	Go out and have some fun! I been with my SO for 5 years now. We still bicker everyday but somehow, we always manage to laugh it off. LOL

Jun 7th, 2008, 05:33 PM	#11
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Location: Singapore / Vancouver	Maybe it just means that you both are not completely compatible. Nothing to do with number of years spent together or how often you quarrel. If this irks you means you are not cool with it. Marrying him will be disastrous! I know of a real life couple who have been married 9 years and courting for 10 years before marriage. They have always been at loggerheads with each other since they were dating and never had a real problem with it, in fact they love to argue. They have 2 children and their marriage is stronger than ever. I won't say this marriage is the perfect one to have, if they are comfortable with constant retorts then their marriage is perfect in their eyes. I on the other hand love peace and quietness, if my DH argues with me 24/7 I would have done something drastic a long time ago. __________________