[omgblonde]

One of my best friends birthdays is coming up & she's arranged a night out to a town an hour away from our home town. We'd be going up & back on the same night & in a limo.

The only problem is I have never met any of her other friends. I'm always really shy when I first meet new people & tend to get more chatty after speaking to them a while. I'm just really worried since they'll all know each other already, that they'll all be chatting & dancing away & I'll be like a lemon on my own there. I really don't know if I should go or not. The whole nightclub thing isn't really my scene anyway. But it's her birthday & I don't wanna let her down, plus I could make some really good friends & really miss out by not going. But I have sooo many doubts. I'm a worrier at the best of times so not knowing anyone else seems like a really big thing to me. One of my new years resoloutions is to be more out going though, so I guess it's the perfect oppurtunity but I'm so nervous already!

I asked one of my really good friends her opinion earlier & she was basically like 'your being so petty', 'do you know how childish you sound', 'your 18 not 8' & things to that extent. Her words really hurt me & I've felt really upset by what she said all evening. She made me feel like a complete and utter idiot for having my doubts. Am I a freak for feeling like this?! What would you do if you were in this situation? Thanks!

[Traci]

You are not a freak at all!

Your feelings are totally normal. Remember this though, SHE invited YOU. This means that she wants you to be there and you being there is important to her. So...that should give you a little bit more of a "good feeling" with regard to having to meet her other friends.

I think you should just take a deep breath and plunge right in! The ride in the limo will take care of the introductions and you will all talk a little there so by the time you get to where your going you'll probably feel more at ease with them anyway.

I wish you good luck!! And...once you do this once...it will get easier and easier!

[x joie]

You're not a freak, you're not an idiot, and your age has nothing to do with this!! I would feel a bit aprehensive too if I was going out with people I've never met before. But like Traci said, you were invited. She wants you there.

So don't worry too much and try to have fun. Mingle and talk to people; I know you said you're shy but still.. I'm sure it will go great!

[Pursegrrl]

Wow I LOVE walking into a room full of people I've never met before and getting to know everyone...chatting them up. But that's just me.

Of course, go and celebrate with your friend and her other friends! You have your mutual friend in common and it's her birthday so you are bound to have a wonderful time and who knows maybe make some new friends in the process! And what better timing to try out your new years resolution!!

Please post again and let us know how it goes...I bet you'll have a fabulous evening out!

[wordpast]

A few months ago my friend invited me out for a 'girls night out' with her friends from work that I had never met. It was like 10 of them. I had a blast!

You should go! Smile, be friendly and introduce yourself, and the rest will fall into place. I promise. That's what I did and it worked out fine.

[omgblonde]

Thankyou for all the sweet replies girls, I'm sure I'm just worrying & once I actually get there it'll all go smoothy.

I'd never really thought about the limo ride up as a way to get to know each other before we hit the town! That's actually made me feel a lot better about it now. Thankyou!

I think I'm going to go! I don't have anything to lose & I'm sure I'll gain something from this whether it be new friends or a confidence boost.

[huong]

I think its normal to feel this way. You should go ahead any way because your friend wants you there. You will probably chat in the limo any way. If you're feeling really nervous, maybe you should create a list of topics to talk about such as how you know your mutual friend, favorite drinks, best songs to dance to, etc so that you won't be so quiet at first.

[purplekitty]

This is a completely normal feeling, I am sure everyone has felt that at least a few times in that situation. Just be yourself and have fun, and trust me, everything will fall into place, and you will find things to talk about, etc. Have a great time!

[Speedy]

I'm more concerned with the "friend" who told you that you are being petty and childish! DUMP HER now!

I see nothing petty nor childish about expressing your fears to someone about something like this. You're 18, I'm sure your experiances in the adult world are a tad limited, so there's perfectly good reasons to feel odd about the party.

But GO and have fun! She's your friend, and thiers, so you all do have something in common!

ONLY rule is, you halfta come back here and tell us how it went.

[RowanOak]

You may be selling yourself short. The fact that your friend asked you to go out w/ her and a lot of people you don't (didn't?) know before means that she is proud you're her friend and wants everyone to meet you. That means she thinks you will handle yourself just fine. You may already be out for the night, but if you read this later...think of this as a compliment to you and how you interact with others. Okay?

And do let us know how it went.

[RowanOak]

OHmyGosh. I completely missed that last paragraph of yours until Speedy said what she said. That 'person' who said that to you is soo out of line it leaves me speechless.

[nauticalstar]

I completely understand what you're thinking right now... I get like that all the time! What I do is make sure I'm wearing something that makes me feel gorgeous and confident and while I'm getting ready I listen to really fun, upbeat music. It gets me in the mood to be friendly and more outgoing.

Also, have you ever noticed that when a group of people know each other well and there is a new person invited, everyone is really interested in the new person? I think that since its going to be a night out (in a LIMO no less!) everyone is going to be really excited and in a fun mood, so I'm sure you'll have a great time!

[rainrowan]

I think your friend was being a bit jealous she wasn't invited perhaps!

It's always a little nervewracking to be in "close quarters" with strangers... I'm sure there'll be someone who partners with you for the evening to chat, or you can make that move yourself. It's not hard to if you get a good feel off an individual. People are more likely to approach you when you project sincerity, even if you are a little shy.

[Zophie]

omgblonde, I'm a lot like you. I am not particularly outgoing when I first meet people, and I've found myself in a few situations like the one you describe. Some I've had fun and some have seemed like the longest nights of my life. But you never know unless you go. And if it's your friend's birthday just go to see her if nothing else.

[bagnshoofetish]

it's perfectly normal to be a little nervous and self conscious around new people. just be yourself, smile alot and show interest in everyone. I think the mistake people tend to make when they are nervous is to talk about themselves right away which can be a turn off to new people. Ask questions about the new people, compliment them on what they are wearing (if you really mean it of course) and just show a geniune interest to get to know them. And be honest - tell them you are a bit nervous and shy because you don't know everyone or hang out at clubs that often. They are sure to take you under their wing and show you a good time. Just don't come off as needy though - be genuine. Have fun!