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Elizabethd1012 · Oct 26th, 2009, 01:33 PM

I was attacked by my husband's ex (they were never married) on Thursday night only because I went with my husband to her house to drop off their son but I didn't even go inside I stayed outside in the car. Ever since she has been threatening me. She broke into my house and ran in my house and pushed my son out of the way to get to me and then attacked me and even punched my walls. My husband was around the corner walking our dog. The fight then went outside and my husband heard the screaming and came back from walking the dog and tried to seperate us. She even brought her 9 year old son who was in the front of the house while all this was going on. My husband forced her to leave and she even tried running us over with her kid in the car. I called the police and explained everything and pressed charges. Now she has been in jail since thursday night and I feel kind of bad because she has 3 kids. She was charged with 2nd degree assault, endangering the welfare of her child and bulgary. Her bail is 10,000 because apparently she has had some other issues in the past. My husband is upset because social services can take her kids away. Should I feel bad? How can I handle this situation? I also feel like my husband is more concerned on her being in jail than what she did to me. I mean I am fine but how about if she would have had a weapon?

I am so upset at my husband for his lack of support torward me that I almost want to kick him out of our house!!!!

juneping · Oct 26th, 2009, 01:41 PM

^^i think your DH probably worries about his son than her...can you suggest your husband get full custody of his child(ren)?? so she can be completely out of the picture??
sorry...this really sucks. she sounds physco.

misschbby · Oct 26th, 2009, 01:45 PM

so sorry sounds like a complete nightmare !! was she always like this ?? i would never be alone with this woman again .

twinkle.tink · Oct 26th, 2009, 01:47 PM

No, you should not feel bad. You did the right thing. You should follow up with a restraining order.

If she has problems in the past and is disturbed enough to do this, I can only see it escalating if she doesn't get help/go to jail.

MissLianne · Oct 26th, 2009, 01:56 PM

^^ you did the right thing.

I think any human being's heart would go out to these poor children, since they have to be raised by such a psycho witch.

Good luck hun!

envyme · Oct 26th, 2009, 02:06 PM

I'm sorry, but she brought this on herself. She needs to learn how to control herself. She can't go around breaking into houses and attacking people. You did the right thing, and hopefully she will learn a lesson. What a psycho!

HandbagLuvr · Oct 26th, 2009, 02:12 PM

There is not a thing you should feel bad about. If you let her assualt you without consequences who knows what would happen next. Since she is in jail where are the children staying? I agree with the restraining order idea.

Elizabethd1012 · Oct 26th, 2009, 02:16 PM

The kids are staying with her mother. The court isssued an order of protection already. What gets me upset is that everyone (my husband's family) is concerned on her being in jail and that she could get her kids taken away. I understand the kids part but she did this not I. I feel like no1 is thinking about what could have happened to me except me!! I don't know how to handle this with my husband. Any advice? He is really getting on my last nerve!!!

flowergirly · Oct 26th, 2009, 02:20 PM

First, get a restraining order before anything else.

Realize she has a problem: mental illness, addiction, and/or behavioral. Jail is where she belongs at this point...she broke a handful of laws.

Feel bad for her kids, but don't feel responsible --- her actions and her actions alone created the problem.

Get some grief counseling a.s.a.p., perhaps for your son, too(?)

The only advice I'll share regarding your husband is: if my mother was in your shoes, he'd be looking at the "business" side of a frying pan.

Elizabethd1012 · Oct 26th, 2009, 02:48 PM

By the way I am 23. Is this worth it? Love is not everything. But I do love him and loves me. And my son is very close to both of us.

claireZk · Oct 26th, 2009, 02:49 PM

You did NOTHING wrong, so you have no reason to feel bad. I'd have a very serious talk with DH about this, because you or his child could have gotten seriously hurt. You're right-- what if she had had a weapon?? Or what if she tried to run you over with her car or something? She's obviously crazy and violent, and honestly, it's sad when a person's kids get taken away, but she doesn't exactly sound like a fit parent. I get that your DH probably feeling torn, but the way he reacted is not okay!

Elizabethd1012 · Oct 26th, 2009, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by flowergirly

First, get a restraining order before anything else.

Realize she has a problem: mental illness, addiction, and/or behavioral. Jail is where she belongs at this point...she broke a handful of laws.

Feel bad for her kids, but don't feel responsible --- her actions and her actions alone created the problem.

Get some grief counseling a.s.a.p., perhaps for your son, too(?)

The only advice I'll share regarding your husband is: if my mother was in your shoes, he'd be looking at the "business" side of a frying pan.

Thank you for your advice.

What do you mean by looking at the business side of a frying pan?

flowergirly · Oct 26th, 2009, 03:00 PM

Originally Posted by Elizabethd1012

What do you mean by looking at the business side of a frying pan?

She'd bonk him on the head.

kate83675 · Oct 26th, 2009, 03:19 PM

You've done nothing wrong at all. In fact you've done her a favor by pressing charges, you said she's in jail with a fairly high bond because she's had problems in the past...this should tell you no one cared enough about her to do something about her behavior before now.

It wouldn't be better to let her out of jail for the sake of the children because of the example she's setting for them. They need to see that actions, esp. violent and out-of-control ones like this, have dire consequences for the perpetrator and the innocent people around them.

I'm sorry this has happened to you but what if her attack was more successful?? Would it be better for your children or her's to see you bloodied, beaten up, or dead? No, I didn't think so. Your DH needs to remember who he married and who he needs to be supporting ~ YOU ~ now and get over feeling sorry for his ex-gf. That's part of her problem isn't it?

Sit DH down and have a serious talk with him and let him know where his loyalties lie. It's fine to care about what happens to her children since they need someone too but he and everyone else need to realize you are a victim just as the children are.

Kansashalo · Oct 26th, 2009, 03:23 PM

Just to say it again, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! I think your DH is more upset about what may happen to his son moreso than her being in jail. I agree with an earlier poster that you and your DH need to sit down and discuss custodial matters regarding his son.
Not to sound mean, but that would be the first thing on my mind because she OBVIOUSLY is nuts. She knew that her actions could land her in jail, away from her kids but she went crazy anyway. That tells me that she puts her needs before her kids and that is never good.

Good luck OP!

Oct 26th, 2009, 01:33 PM	#1
Elizabethd1012 OP Member Joined: Nov 2007 Location: New York Posts: 174	I need advice BIG TIME!!! What should I do? I was attacked by my husband's ex (they were never married) on Thursday night only because I went with my husband to her house to drop off their son but I didn't even go inside I stayed outside in the car. Ever since she has been threatening me. She broke into my house and ran in my house and pushed my son out of the way to get to me and then attacked me and even punched my walls. My husband was around the corner walking our dog. The fight then went outside and my husband heard the screaming and came back from walking the dog and tried to seperate us. She even brought her 9 year old son who was in the front of the house while all this was going on. My husband forced her to leave and she even tried running us over with her kid in the car. I called the police and explained everything and pressed charges. Now she has been in jail since thursday night and I feel kind of bad because she has 3 kids. She was charged with 2nd degree assault, endangering the welfare of her child and bulgary. Her bail is 10,000 because apparently she has had some other issues in the past. My husband is upset because social services can take her kids away. Should I feel bad? How can I handle this situation? I also feel like my husband is more concerned on her being in jail than what she did to me. I mean I am fine but how about if she would have had a weapon? I am so upset at my husband for his lack of support torward me that I almost want to kick him out of our house!!!!
	__________________ Shopping banned for now!

Oct 26th, 2009, 01:41 PM	#2
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,352	^^i think your DH probably worries about his son than her...can you suggest your husband get full custody of his child(ren)?? so she can be completely out of the picture?? sorry...this really sucks. she sounds physco.
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Oct 26th, 2009, 01:47 PM	#4
twinkle.tink Choose to be happy Joined: Sep 2006 Location: Taking a nap Posts: 16,063	No, you should not feel bad. You did the right thing. You should follow up with a restraining order. If she has problems in the past and is disturbed enough to do this, I can only see it escalating if she doesn't get help/go to jail.
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Oct 26th, 2009, 01:56 PM	#5
MissLianne Member Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 465	^^ you did the right thing. I think any human being's heart would go out to these poor children, since they have to be raised by such a psycho witch. Good luck hun!
MissLianne Member Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 465	__________________ A Louis Vuitton Gucci Christian Louboutin Burberry kinda girl

Oct 26th, 2009, 02:06 PM	#6
envyme God's Creation Joined: Jan 2006 Location: I'm A Brain In A Jar Posts: 4,469	I'm sorry, but she brought this on herself. She needs to learn how to control herself. She can't go around breaking into houses and attacking people. You did the right thing, and hopefully she will learn a lesson. What a psycho!
	__________________ You just keep pushing. You just keep pushing. I made every mistake that could be made. But I just kept pushing. - Rene Descartes

Oct 26th, 2009, 01:45 PM	#3
misschbby Member Joined: Mar 2008 Location: ireland germany Posts: 750	so sorry sounds like a complete nightmare !! was she always like this ?? i would never be alone with this woman again .

Oct 26th, 2009, 02:12 PM	#7
HandbagLuvr Member Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 138	There is not a thing you should feel bad about. If you let her assualt you without consequences who knows what would happen next. Since she is in jail where are the children staying? I agree with the restraining order idea.
HandbagLuvr Member Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 138

Oct 26th, 2009, 02:16 PM	#8
Elizabethd1012 OP Member Joined: Nov 2007 Location: New York Posts: 174	The kids are staying with her mother. The court isssued an order of protection already. What gets me upset is that everyone (my husband's family) is concerned on her being in jail and that she could get her kids taken away. I understand the kids part but she did this not I. I feel like no1 is thinking about what could have happened to me except me!! I don't know how to handle this with my husband. Any advice? He is really getting on my last nerve!!!
	__________________ Shopping banned for now!

Oct 26th, 2009, 02:20 PM	#9
flowergirly Member Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 137	First, get a restraining order before anything else. Realize she has a problem: mental illness, addiction, and/or behavioral. Jail is where she belongs at this point...she broke a handful of laws. Feel bad for her kids, but don't feel responsible --- her actions and her actions alone created the problem. Get some grief counseling a.s.a.p., perhaps for your son, too(?) The only advice I'll share regarding your husband is: if my mother was in your shoes, he'd be looking at the "business" side of a frying pan.
flowergirly Member Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 137	Last edited by flowergirly; Oct 26th, 2009 at 02:25 PM.

Oct 26th, 2009, 02:48 PM	#10
Elizabethd1012 OP Member Joined: Nov 2007 Location: New York Posts: 174	By the way I am 23. Is this worth it? Love is not everything. But I do love him and loves me. And my son is very close to both of us.
	__________________ Shopping banned for now!

Oct 26th, 2009, 02:49 PM	#11
claireZk Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,699	You did NOTHING wrong, so you have no reason to feel bad. I'd have a very serious talk with DH about this, because you or his child could have gotten seriously hurt. You're right-- what if she had had a weapon?? Or what if she tried to run you over with her car or something? She's obviously crazy and violent, and honestly, it's sad when a person's kids get taken away, but she doesn't exactly sound like a fit parent. I get that your DH probably feeling torn, but the way he reacted is not okay!
claireZk Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,699	__________________ http://loveshimmer.blogspot.com/ When life gives you lemons, just say f@#$ the lemons and bail...

Oct 26th, 2009, 03:19 PM	#14
kate83675 Throw It!! Joined: Nov 2008 Location: SW Florida Posts: 2,009	You've done nothing wrong at all. In fact you've done her a favor by pressing charges, you said she's in jail with a fairly high bond because she's had problems in the past...this should tell you no one cared enough about her to do something about her behavior before now. It wouldn't be better to let her out of jail for the sake of the children because of the example she's setting for them. They need to see that actions, esp. violent and out-of-control ones like this, have dire consequences for the perpetrator and the innocent people around them. I'm sorry this has happened to you but what if her attack was more successful?? Would it be better for your children or her's to see you bloodied, beaten up, or dead? No, I didn't think so. Your DH needs to remember who he married and who he needs to be supporting ~ YOU ~ now and get over feeling sorry for his ex-gf. That's part of her problem isn't it? Sit DH down and have a serious talk with him and let him know where his loyalties lie. It's fine to care about what happens to her children since they need someone too but he and everyone else need to realize you are a victim just as the children are.
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Oct 26th, 2009, 03:23 PM	#15
Kansashalo Memories! Joined: Sep 2006 Location: USA Posts: 3,604	Just to say it again, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! I think your DH is more upset about what may happen to his son moreso than her being in jail. I agree with an earlier poster that you and your DH need to sit down and discuss custodial matters regarding his son. Not to sound mean, but that would be the first thing on my mind because she OBVIOUSLY is nuts. She knew that her actions could land her in jail, away from her kids but she went crazy anyway. That tells me that she puts her needs before her kids and that is never good. Good luck OP!
	__________________

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