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Firefly32 · Oct 28th, 2009, 09:07 AM

You did the RIGHT thing! I understand that its hard when children are involved but this lady is nuts and what if she had just done more than attacked you! This lady is nuts and she must pay for her actions on what she did. I'm sorry to hear that your DH is not more supportive or understanding on what she did to you!!

kristie · Oct 28th, 2009, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by Roo

Do you know who bailed her out? (I hope it wasn't your husband)

I was thinking the same thing......

I agree with Roo, your husband is being RIDICULOUS for being upset with you when you did nothing wrong......he needs a wake up call.

Elizabethd1012 · Oct 29th, 2009, 03:15 PM

So now that this woman gets out of jail on Tuesday. He is acting like everything is back to normal with me! He says that I am a drama queen. I can't believe his behavior. It makes me feel like he is still dealing with this woman on a diff level!! :(

Elizabethd1012 · Oct 29th, 2009, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by Roo

Do you know who bailed her out? (I hope it wasn't your husband)

No it was her family. My husband would not have 10K to spare! LOL Also I keep control of our finances!

twinkle.tink · Oct 29th, 2009, 03:26 PM

I can not believe he called you a drama queen!?!? I am a big, big 'no fake drama' girl....this is NOT fake drama....this is serious.

I can not believe he is taking it so lightly...and that he is not trying to get custody of his son with her. I wouldn't leave my cat with her, let alone a child.

ETA: I would ask, find the number for victim services...maybe they will have some pamphlet or advice on how to make your husband see how serious this is.

Love my Tanos · Nov 2nd, 2009, 01:19 PM

OP I don't mean to accuse you of anything, but is there anything that you've done or said in the past that your husband is using to hang this "drama queen" crap on? ****NOT THAT IT WOULD JUSTIFY WHAT SHE DID, OR HOW HE'S HANDLING IT**** but I'm just wondering where in the world he gets off acting like you're making a big deal over someone who tried to mow you down. Does he think you didn't like the ex in the first place, and now he's just "tired of hearing about it," or is he the type of guy who just does not deal well with confrontation of any type? Does he believe you overreact to thinks in general, or are just overreacting to this situation?

Personally I think you're handling it as well as can be expected. I just can't understand where he's coming from so it would help to know if he's said you were a d.q. in the past, or if this is new to the recent event.

I'm totally baffled by this so I really can't imagine how you must feel. Does he have male friends who know the situation? Do they think he's handling it right? What does your family think?

Apologies if any of this has been answered before. This issue is a serious head-scratcher!!!!

Elizabethd1012 · Nov 3rd, 2009, 06:03 PM

I haven't had any problems with her. I have never even spoken to her face to face. He says I am being a DQ because "nothing happened to me." He was concerned because social services is now involved. But what he is now begining to understand is what could have happened to me and our son! That's how people make it to the news! He is being more supportive and understanding now but the past week was hell for me! :(

She is going to be closely watched by social services for the next 2 months. If she does anything crazy they will take her kids away.

I am honestly a good person and I felt bad for her and kids at first but now I don't feel bad for her. She asked for this mess the minute she decided to come to my house! If my husband wouldn't have gotten there this woman could have killed my son and I!!! And then what? It's really scary. I am even afraid to go running early in the morning like I used to! :(

SaraDK · Nov 3rd, 2009, 06:24 PM

OMG.. You definetly did the right thing by reporting it.
One of my friends had an affair with a married man and she got pregnant. His wife went to her house in the middle of the night and started hitting and kicking her in the stomag (sp?). She went to the doctor the next day and thankfully the baby was okay.
She did not press charges because of the couples two kids, but now she still regrets is. Its not a valid excuse that you are a mom!

Elizabethd1012 · Nov 4th, 2009, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by SaraDK

OMG.. You definetly did the right thing by reporting it.
One of my friends had an affair with a married man and she got pregnant. His wife went to her house in the middle of the night and started hitting and kicking her in the stomag (sp?). She went to the doctor the next day and thankfully the baby was okay.
She did not press charges because of the couples two kids, but now she still regrets is. Its not a valid excuse that you are a mom!

I am honestly completely against violent actions and don't agree with it at all! But in your friend's case maybe she deserved it...no offense! I am glad that the baby is ok and that was totally wrong but in this case I understand the wife. Imagine all the wife went through while her hubby and his lover had all the fun and basically laughed in her face!! Maybe it's because I am married that I feel this way but I am completely against women getting involved with married men!! They don't realize the damage that they do esp to the children involved!!! I'm sure it sucks for your friend because he prob made her millions of promises and prob even told her he is leaving the wife. It sucks because the victims are the love and the wife and the guilty one is the man but no1 ever realizes that!!

In my case him and his ex were never married and I met him like 2 years after they broke up. And yes she should have pressed charges because now that crazy lady will keep doing that to others and maybe even really hurt someone one day!!

What happened with your friend? Did the husband leave the wife for her?

chinahopes · Nov 4th, 2009, 01:50 PM

I actually think it's admirable what you did. It was very brave to call the cops. This woman needs to learn a lesson. It is unfortunate that her children have to also deal with the repercussions of her actions, but she made the decision to do what she did... she should have thought about what would happen to her children before she put her hands on you.

Men deal with things differently than woman. I almost feel like my husband might say things similar to what yours is saying, because he is not the most sensitive guy in the world. Don't let it put too much strain on your marriage, unless it really becomes unbearable.

You never know, maybe this is the lesson that woman needed to learn. Good luck.

tanukiki · Nov 4th, 2009, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by Elizabethd1012

I haven't had any problems with her. I have never even spoken to her face to face. He says I am being a DQ because "nothing happened to me." He was concerned because social services is now involved. But what he is now begining to understand is what could have happened to me and our son! That's how people make it to the news! He is being more supportive and understanding now but the past week was hell for me! :(

She is going to be closely watched by social services for the next 2 months. If she does anything crazy they will take her kids away.

I am honestly a good person and I felt bad for her and kids at first but now I don't feel bad for her. She asked for this mess the minute she decided to come to my house! If my husband wouldn't have gotten there this woman could have killed my son and I!!! And then what? It's really scary. I am even afraid to go running early in the morning like I used to! :(

If she acts as you stated then social services SHOULD be monitoring her and maybe the kids SHOULD be taken away. That's not a healthy way for them to be raised and what if she gets upset at them???

ShimmaPuff · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:55 PM

She has an illness for which she needs to get treatment so that her own children will be safe, and so that she will be able to care for them.

It really is that simple, and that imperative.

SaraDK · Nov 4th, 2009, 05:11 PM

Originally Posted by Elizabethd1012

I am honestly completely against violent actions and don't agree with it at all! But in your friend's case maybe she deserved it...no offense! I am glad that the baby is ok and that was totally wrong but in this case I understand the wife. Imagine all the wife went through while her hubby and his lover had all the fun and basically laughed in her face!! Maybe it's because I am married that I feel this way but I am completely against women getting involved with married men!! They don't realize the damage that they do esp to the children involved!!! I'm sure it sucks for your friend because he prob made her millions of promises and prob even told her he is leaving the wife. It sucks because the victims are the love and the wife and the guilty one is the man but no1 ever realizes that!!

In my case him and his ex were never married and I met him like 2 years after they broke up. And yes she should have pressed charges because now that crazy lady will keep doing that to others and maybe even really hurt someone one day!!

What happened with your friend? Did the husband leave the wife for her?

Off course it was a bad thing getting into.. And I had a hard time supporting her since I know both the man, his wife, their kids and so on. It was total fustration from the wife's part. But still.. You do not kick a pregnant woman in the stumag.
No they broke up before the baby came and he got back together with his wife, and my friend moved away from the city. Everyone acts like nothing never happened, he does not stand on the birthcirtificat.

Love my Tanos · Nov 4th, 2009, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Elizabethd1012

I haven't had any problems with her. I have never even spoken to her face to face. He says I am being a DQ because "nothing happened to me." He was concerned because social services is now involved. But what he is now begining to understand is what could have happened to me and our son! That's how people make it to the news! He is being more supportive and understanding now but the past week was hell for me! :(

She is going to be closely watched by social services for the next 2 months. If she does anything crazy they will take her kids away.

I am honestly a good person and I felt bad for her and kids at first but now I don't feel bad for her. She asked for this mess the minute she decided to come to my house! If my husband wouldn't have gotten there this woman could have killed my son and I!!! And then what? It's really scary. I am even afraid to go running early in the morning like I used to! :(

I had hoped there was maybe some history there, but it looks like he is 100% waaaaaay out of line calling you the dreaded "drama queen" name (i hate that phrase). The reason "nothing happened to you" is that you got LUCKY not because that psycho didn't try to MAKE something bad happen to you!

In my mind, something DID happen to you, attempted murder, and that's nothing to scoff at, I'd be terrified and I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to go jogging alone. It sounds like your husband is coming around though and maybe the best thing you can do is just let him see for himself exactly how serious this is. He could have been burying you and his child, surely that's occurred to him by now.

That ex is exactly where she needs to be, under supervision and on whatever watch list is appropriate for people with kids and no self control. You did the right thing. He will realize that in time.

teinna · Nov 5th, 2009, 09:54 AM

You did her and her kids a favour by putting her under supervision. Too many kids grow up with emotionally and physically unstable parents that it screws them up for the rest of their life. I can only imagine what kind of life her kids lived under her roof. I mean, before she cracked and attacked you, she must have taken it out on her kids first for a long time (ignoring them, make them feel guilty for the unhappiness in her life, yelling at them for no reason). I am shocked that she brought her 9yo son with her when she attacked you and tried to run you over. Any mother in her right mind would never subject her child to that sort of trauma. If a mother feels the need to commit a crime, she should at least try to shield her children from what she is doing.

It makes me mad. Now that she is put under watch by social services, hopefully she'll start acting more like a mother and less like a psycho ex. The woman needs to learn to move on, and find happiness for the sake of her children. Your husband needs to realise that what happened so far is for the best.

Oct 29th, 2009, 03:15 PM	#48
Elizabethd1012 OP Member Joined: Nov 2007 Location: New York Posts: 174	So now that this woman gets out of jail on Tuesday. He is acting like everything is back to normal with me! He says that I am a drama queen. I can't believe his behavior. It makes me feel like he is still dealing with this woman on a diff level!! :(
	__________________ Shopping banned for now!

Oct 29th, 2009, 03:26 PM	#50
twinkle.tink Choose to be happy Joined: Sep 2006 Location: Taking a nap Posts: 16,063	I can not believe he called you a drama queen!?!? I am a big, big 'no fake drama' girl....this is NOT fake drama....this is serious. I can not believe he is taking it so lightly...and that he is not trying to get custody of his son with her. I wouldn't leave my cat with her, let alone a child. ETA: I would ask, find the number for victim services...maybe they will have some pamphlet or advice on how to make your husband see how serious this is.
	__________________ My song for this week: It's the most wonderful time of the year

Nov 2nd, 2009, 01:19 PM	#51
Love my Tanos Member Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 999	OP I don't mean to accuse you of anything, but is there anything that you've done or said in the past that your husband is using to hang this "drama queen" crap on? **NOT THAT IT WOULD JUSTIFY WHAT SHE DID, OR HOW HE'S HANDLING IT** but I'm just wondering where in the world he gets off acting like you're making a big deal over someone who tried to mow you down. Does he think you didn't like the ex in the first place, and now he's just "tired of hearing about it," or is he the type of guy who just does not deal well with confrontation of any type? Does he believe you overreact to thinks in general, or are just overreacting to this situation? Personally I think you're handling it as well as can be expected. I just can't understand where he's coming from so it would help to know if he's said you were a d.q. in the past, or if this is new to the recent event. I'm totally baffled by this so I really can't imagine how you must feel. Does he have male friends who know the situation? Do they think he's handling it right? What does your family think? Apologies if any of this has been answered before. This issue is a serious head-scratcher!!!!
Love my Tanos Member Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 999

Nov 3rd, 2009, 06:03 PM	#52
Elizabethd1012 OP Member Joined: Nov 2007 Location: New York Posts: 174	I haven't had any problems with her. I have never even spoken to her face to face. He says I am being a DQ because "nothing happened to me." He was concerned because social services is now involved. But what he is now begining to understand is what could have happened to me and our son! That's how people make it to the news! He is being more supportive and understanding now but the past week was hell for me! :( She is going to be closely watched by social services for the next 2 months. If she does anything crazy they will take her kids away. I am honestly a good person and I felt bad for her and kids at first but now I don't feel bad for her. She asked for this mess the minute she decided to come to my house! If my husband wouldn't have gotten there this woman could have killed my son and I!!! And then what? It's really scary. I am even afraid to go running early in the morning like I used to! :(
	__________________ Shopping banned for now!

Nov 3rd, 2009, 06:24 PM	#53
SaraDK Addicted! Joined: Aug 2007 Location: Denmark Posts: 1,776	OMG.. You definetly did the right thing by reporting it. One of my friends had an affair with a married man and she got pregnant. His wife went to her house in the middle of the night and started hitting and kicking her in the stomag (sp?). She went to the doctor the next day and thankfully the baby was okay. She did not press charges because of the couples two kids, but now she still regrets is. Its not a valid excuse that you are a mom!
	__________________ Love my goodies: http://forum.purseblog.com/your-bag-showcase/saras-small-and-mixed-collection-173846.html

Oct 28th, 2009, 09:07 AM	#46
Firefly32 Member Joined: Jul 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,570	You did the RIGHT thing! I understand that its hard when children are involved but this lady is nuts and what if she had just done more than attacked you! This lady is nuts and she must pay for her actions on what she did. I'm sorry to hear that your DH is not more supportive or understanding on what she did to you!!

Nov 4th, 2009, 01:50 PM	#55
chinahopes Luckiest. Joined: Oct 2008 Location: the Beach, SC Posts: 1,001	I actually think it's admirable what you did. It was very brave to call the cops. This woman needs to learn a lesson. It is unfortunate that her children have to also deal with the repercussions of her actions, but she made the decision to do what she did... she should have thought about what would happen to her children before she put her hands on you. Men deal with things differently than woman. I almost feel like my husband might say things similar to what yours is saying, because he is not the most sensitive guy in the world. Don't let it put too much strain on your marriage, unless it really becomes unbearable. You never know, maybe this is the lesson that woman needed to learn. Good luck.

Nov 4th, 2009, 02:55 PM	#57
ShimmaPuff Sentient Post Whore Joined: Oct 2006 Location: Earth Posts: 9,626	She has an illness for which she needs to get treatment so that her own children will be safe, and so that she will be able to care for them. It really is that simple, and that imperative.
	__________________ http://www.tzuchi.org/ http://www.commongroundrelief.org http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com/chooseagift.aspx Your Friendly Resident Poor Person Embrace Inspired Pride! Experimental Blog Follow Me on Twitter

Nov 5th, 2009, 09:54 AM	#60
teinna Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 33	You did her and her kids a favour by putting her under supervision. Too many kids grow up with emotionally and physically unstable parents that it screws them up for the rest of their life. I can only imagine what kind of life her kids lived under her roof. I mean, before she cracked and attacked you, she must have taken it out on her kids first for a long time (ignoring them, make them feel guilty for the unhappiness in her life, yelling at them for no reason). I am shocked that she brought her 9yo son with her when she attacked you and tried to run you over. Any mother in her right mind would never subject her child to that sort of trauma. If a mother feels the need to commit a crime, she should at least try to shield her children from what she is doing. It makes me mad. Now that she is put under watch by social services, hopefully she'll start acting more like a mother and less like a psycho ex. The woman needs to learn to move on, and find happiness for the sake of her children. Your husband needs to realise that what happened so far is for the best.
teinna Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 33

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