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kate83675 · Oct 26th, 2009, 07:44 PM

I agree with Roo also

And definitely consult an attorney about this so someone who is not involved but has a knowledge of the law advise you also.

kristie · Oct 26th, 2009, 08:54 PM

Listen to Roo!!!!

DO NOT agree to a lesser charge because as Roo said, in court, it will already most likely be reduced to a misdemeanor so if YOU tell the DA it is ok to pursue as a misdemeanor, the court system will get it down to NOTHING.

PLEASE obtain a restraining order and pursue criminal charges for the FELONY section. This woman is nuts and she is placing you, your husband, your kids, EVERYONE in danger. Who's to say she won't come back with a weapon next time if you back down???

Please please please protect your family and also contact CPS. The police should have already assisted you at the scene with obtaining a temporary restraining order and instructions on how to go about it.

BTW, $10,000 bail is actually very low for the crimes she was arrested for. Is her total bail amount $10,000 or is that just the 10% required??

SPOILEDkiwi · Oct 26th, 2009, 09:02 PM

I totally agree with Roo. Reducing the charge is letting her get away with what she did to you. You need to stand your ground and take this as far as you can for your own safety.

simplygm819 · Oct 26th, 2009, 09:37 PM

What a psycho lady!! I would do everything to make sure she never EVER goes near you again.

Kitsunegrl · Oct 26th, 2009, 09:56 PM

Please do not consent to lesser charges.

I know that it probably seems like everyone is worried about the psycho being in jail more than you, but the fact is they are probably thinking "how is this going to inconvenience ME?" first. I don't mean to imply that they are uncaring, unfeeling people but that is very often the first, primitive instinct to a situation: How will this affect me?

Sometimes in the case of ex's with children, people don't want to rock the boat because of custody issues or causing more tension for the kids.

I'm glad you weren't hurt.

olialm1 · Oct 27th, 2009, 02:32 AM

No, you should not feel bad. If I were you I'd be scared out of my mind and wanting her in jail. If she really cared about her children she wouldn't have put herself in a situation that would endanger them and possibly have them taken away from her. I would be irritated if my s/o were showing lack of support after such a crazy event. Maybe you should tell him you EXPECT him to be there 100% for you right now and tell him everything you told us. She sounds crazy!

sweetdreamer16 · Oct 27th, 2009, 02:52 AM

you should not agree to lesser charges!! i mean she almost tried to kill you!! i mean anyone even a small child would know that cars are dangerous and to almost run you down! it could have been your child that got hurt!! It might be hurtful to your stepson that his mom goes to jail but being in the situation right now is much worse! i hope things work out for you! please keep us updated!

lingbo105 · Oct 27th, 2009, 01:46 PM

I am so sorry that you have to suffer all these.

i would say lesser charge if you want to make your in laws, your husband and his kids less trouble. Having a ex/mother in jail, your husband/the 3 kids won't feel good for the rest of their life.

Do you mind if i ask Why she hates you so much. If she is just a psycho, you girls can never get along safely, you should not lesser the charge to protect your and your son's safety. You are so young, just 23, You can have a much better life than this.

Elizabethd1012 · Oct 27th, 2009, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by lingbo105

I am so sorry that you have to suffer all these.

i would say lesser charge if you want to make your in laws, your husband and his kids less trouble. Having a ex/mother in jail, your husband/the 3 kids won't feel good for the rest of their life.

Do you mind if i ask Why she hates you so much. If she is just a psycho, you girls can never get along safely, you should not lesser the charge to protect your and your son's safety. You are so young, just 23, You can have a much better life than this.

I honestly don't even know why she hates me! I think she has had the "I want him back" syndrome. I have no clue. It's sooo hard!! Not only did I suffer from what she did to me but I am also suffering from the consequences because my husband is acting very distant from me as if it was my fault that this woman is in jail. I know that I am fine now and that nothing happened but it sucks to lessen the charges without knowing for sure that she will not do this or anything else again.

Roo · Oct 27th, 2009, 04:13 PM

^^ I am very sorry your husband is behaving this way. The thing is, you did not do this. SHE DID. And if he tries to transfer blame onto you, I'd be showing him the door.

Elizabethd1012 · Oct 27th, 2009, 04:57 PM

Thanks everyone for your support in this crazy situation! I am getting more support from all of you than from my own husband!

Update: She got out of jail today. Someone posted the 10K bail. I don't know what to feel. I'm glad for her kids but I just hoped she learned her lesson.

Elizabethd1012 · Oct 27th, 2009, 04:58 PM

But the case is not over. She has to go back to court on 11/17. I'll keep you posted! I just wonder how my hubby is going to handle the communication with her regarding their son.

Roo · Oct 27th, 2009, 05:57 PM

Do you know who bailed her out? (I hope it wasn't your husband)

Love my Tanos · Oct 27th, 2009, 10:07 PM

I agree with Roo & Mirdc. I think the reason the people in your life are worrying for the psycho is that they now see that she's involved in the legal system, and a s***storm is now raining down upon the family. It isn't YOU that caused it, it's just something that's been brewing a long time, and now everyone has to deal with it. The way your DH is acting is very disappointing & I'd be very hurt by it also but hopefully he will calm down and you guys can talk openly about it. I don't think anything you've described has been out of line, as far as your actions. In fact I would think it would be totally IRRESPONSIBLE of you if you'd NOT helped get that loon behind bars, since she put the lives of others in danger, and kids were involved....

You're in a mess, girl, but I am so happy you weren't hurt. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and it's not right that you're having to defend yourself not only from a wannabe killer ex (literally) but also trying to get your DH to support you. Keep us posted.

suzie w · Oct 27th, 2009, 10:38 PM

Good luck and stay strong. It is a very hard and challenging time. I really wish your Dh would figure it out. but he might have problems communicating... i suggest talking to him and sharing your feelings. you have to let him know how you really feel. Very hard to do and stay on course when you talk to him.. maybe write it down. but it is also important to know how he is feeling.... maybe guilty..or sad... doesnt know what to do.... whatever the reason- i hope you two can hold it together. its gonna be a long month....

take care and stay strong.

Oct 26th, 2009, 07:44 PM	#31
kate83675 Throw It!! Joined: Nov 2008 Location: SW Florida Posts: 2,018	I agree with Roo also And definitely consult an attorney about this so someone who is not involved but has a knowledge of the law advise you also.
	__________________ Border Collies Never Quit Just one little Ginger HH Celina is all I want. Please let me know if you find one.

Oct 26th, 2009, 08:54 PM	#32
kristie "H" is for horses? Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,718	Listen to Roo!!!! DO NOT agree to a lesser charge because as Roo said, in court, it will already most likely be reduced to a misdemeanor so if YOU tell the DA it is ok to pursue as a misdemeanor, the court system will get it down to NOTHING. PLEASE obtain a restraining order and pursue criminal charges for the FELONY section. This woman is nuts and she is placing you, your husband, your kids, EVERYONE in danger. Who's to say she won't come back with a weapon next time if you back down??? Please please please protect your family and also contact CPS. The police should have already assisted you at the scene with obtaining a temporary restraining order and instructions on how to go about it. BTW, $10,000 bail is actually very low for the crimes she was arrested for. Is her total bail amount $10,000 or is that just the 10% required??
kristie "H" is for horses? Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,718	__________________ Uh oh...I think I may be more in danger of buying a Hermes saddle than a Birkin.......

Oct 26th, 2009, 09:02 PM	#33
SPOILEDkiwi not a kiwi! Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,285	I totally agree with Roo. Reducing the charge is letting her get away with what she did to you. You need to stand your ground and take this as far as you can for your own safety.
SPOILEDkiwi not a kiwi! Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,285	__________________ “It is the unseen, unforgettable, ultimate accessory of fashion that heralds your arrival and prolongs your departure.” --Coco Chanel

Oct 26th, 2009, 09:37 PM	#34
simplygm819 Member Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 267	What a psycho lady!! I would do everything to make sure she never EVER goes near you again.
simplygm819 Member Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 267	__________________ A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous!

Oct 26th, 2009, 09:56 PM	#35
Kitsunegrl Cartier in 2009! Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Cajun Country Posts: 7,774	Please do not consent to lesser charges. I know that it probably seems like everyone is worried about the psycho being in jail more than you, but the fact is they are probably thinking "how is this going to inconvenience ME?" first. I don't mean to imply that they are uncaring, unfeeling people but that is very often the first, primitive instinct to a situation: How will this affect me? Sometimes in the case of ex's with children, people don't want to rock the boat because of custody issues or causing more tension for the kids. I'm glad you weren't hurt.
	__________________ Lorretta

Oct 27th, 2009, 02:32 AM	#36
olialm1 windy city Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Chicago Posts: 1,559	No, you should not feel bad. If I were you I'd be scared out of my mind and wanting her in jail. If she really cared about her children she wouldn't have put herself in a situation that would endanger them and possibly have them taken away from her. I would be irritated if my s/o were showing lack of support after such a crazy event. Maybe you should tell him you EXPECT him to be there 100% for you right now and tell him everything you told us. She sounds crazy!
	__________________ make a difference! free rice

Oct 27th, 2009, 02:52 AM	#37
sweetdreamer16 Member Joined: May 2008 Location: Vancouver Posts: 2,035	you should not agree to lesser charges!! i mean she almost tried to kill you!! i mean anyone even a small child would know that cars are dangerous and to almost run you down! it could have been your child that got hurt!! It might be hurtful to your stepson that his mom goes to jail but being in the situation right now is much worse! i hope things work out for you! please keep us updated!
	__________________ Visit my blog, for featured amazing giveaways!! Updated daily!! http://thegiveawaydiva.blogspot.com/ Giving away an amazing Karmin G3 Salon Pro Hair Styling Iron!! A value of $140!!Click here to enter!!! Win an amazing charm bracelet with eight charms of your choice valued at $130! Click here to enter!!!

Oct 27th, 2009, 01:46 PM	#38
lingbo105 Member Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 155	I am so sorry that you have to suffer all these. i would say lesser charge if you want to make your in laws, your husband and his kids less trouble. Having a ex/mother in jail, your husband/the 3 kids won't feel good for the rest of their life. Do you mind if i ask Why she hates you so much. If she is just a psycho, you girls can never get along safely, you should not lesser the charge to protect your and your son's safety. You are so young, just 23, You can have a much better life than this.
lingbo105 Member Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 155

Oct 27th, 2009, 04:13 PM	#40
Roo au courant Joined: Apr 2006 Location: Rue Roo Posts: 12,721	^^ I am very sorry your husband is behaving this way. The thing is, you did not do this. SHE DID. And if he tries to transfer blame onto you, I'd be showing him the door.
	__________________ When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. --Willie Nelson

Oct 27th, 2009, 04:57 PM	#41
Elizabethd1012 OP Member Joined: Nov 2007 Location: New York Posts: 174	Thanks everyone for your support in this crazy situation! I am getting more support from all of you than from my own husband! Update: She got out of jail today. Someone posted the 10K bail. I don't know what to feel. I'm glad for her kids but I just hoped she learned her lesson.
	__________________ Shopping banned for now!

Oct 27th, 2009, 04:58 PM	#42
Elizabethd1012 OP Member Joined: Nov 2007 Location: New York Posts: 174	But the case is not over. She has to go back to court on 11/17. I'll keep you posted! I just wonder how my hubby is going to handle the communication with her regarding their son.
	__________________ Shopping banned for now!

Oct 27th, 2009, 05:57 PM	#43
Roo au courant Joined: Apr 2006 Location: Rue Roo Posts: 12,721	Do you know who bailed her out? (I hope it wasn't your husband)
	__________________ When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. --Willie Nelson

Oct 27th, 2009, 10:07 PM	#44
Love my Tanos Member Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,001	I agree with Roo & Mirdc. I think the reason the people in your life are worrying for the psycho is that they now see that she's involved in the legal system, and a s***storm is now raining down upon the family. It isn't YOU that caused it, it's just something that's been brewing a long time, and now everyone has to deal with it. The way your DH is acting is very disappointing & I'd be very hurt by it also but hopefully he will calm down and you guys can talk openly about it. I don't think anything you've described has been out of line, as far as your actions. In fact I would think it would be totally IRRESPONSIBLE of you if you'd NOT helped get that loon behind bars, since she put the lives of others in danger, and kids were involved.... You're in a mess, girl, but I am so happy you weren't hurt. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and it's not right that you're having to defend yourself not only from a wannabe killer ex (literally) but also trying to get your DH to support you. Keep us posted.
Love my Tanos Member Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,001

Oct 27th, 2009, 10:38 PM	#45
suzie w member Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Oz Posts: 2,888	Good luck and stay strong. It is a very hard and challenging time. I really wish your Dh would figure it out. but he might have problems communicating... i suggest talking to him and sharing your feelings. you have to let him know how you really feel. Very hard to do and stay on course when you talk to him.. maybe write it down. but it is also important to know how he is feeling.... maybe guilty..or sad... doesnt know what to do.... whatever the reason- i hope you two can hold it together. its gonna be a long month.... take care and stay strong.

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