I need advice BIG TIME!!! What should I do?

[kate83675]

If one of the children in he custody is also your DH's as you said, then yes, discuss getting custody of that child if you can manage it. That child needs to get out of that situation.

[Elizabethd1012]

Now the district attorney calls me and asks if I would consent to her getting charged with a misdemenor instead of a felony since I didn't suffer any injuries. With this she would be placed on probation for 3 years and not serve jail time and I would have an order of protection in place. What do yo guys think? I feel bad for her kids but not for her.

[materialgurl]

^ well it's up to you... you didn't suffer any physical injuries but you are mentally traumatized. She was threatening you no?

[lorihmatthews]

I find it odd that the DA is asking you to consent to a lesser crime. Did he/she give you a reason for it?

[Elizabethd1012]

Well they always ask that. She said that because of the nature of the problems. Her kid is my step son and I wouldn't want him to be affected. I feel bad for him.

[LV Luvr]

^um no! What if there is a next time? Here is my opinion... She's an adult. She definitely knows right from wrong and she kept willing and made the choice to escalate the situation. If it were me she'd be behind bars and learn from this...YOU DO NOT TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THIS! You did no wrong...let her pay for her actions. JMO. And I'm glad you and your son are ok!!

[flowergirly]

Originally Posted by Elizabethd1012

Now the district attorney calls me and asks if I would consent to her getting charged with a misdemenor instead of a felony since I didn't suffer any injuries. With this she would be placed on probation for 3 years and not serve jail time and I would have an order of protection in place. What do yo guys think? I feel bad for her kids but not for her.

I'd only consider it with a psych eval and drug testing concurrent with probation.

"Normal" people don't react in this manner. If it's not drug/psych, then she's likely to break the law again and probably has in the past.

You might want to consult an attorney to have her/him look into this and advise you.

[alliemia]

well if you agree to it, and she's back home in a few days, what's to say she won't do this again? or worse?

what is the reason she is giving for breaking into your house and attacking you? the fact that you were accompanying your husband to drop off his son? is that what set her off?

does she still want your husband back or something? i'd definetly keep the protection order in place, that way if she does try anything again she'll get into more trouble for not only attacking you but violating a protection order.

maybe jail was enough to scare her that she won't act up again. can you ask your husband or someone else in the family to go talk to her and see what the issue is and if she seems remorseful or likely to do it again?

i'd be reluctant to just let it go. and have her do this again. how did she break into your house exactly?

[alliemia]

also, i'd call child services to have her mothering evaluated, because if she is doing this in front of her children then who knows what other bad examples she is showing them. they are at risk of becoming delinquents if they witness a mother with this type of erratic/violent behavior.

[Roo]

I am not a lawyer, so that is the first disclaimer here...

BUT............ I would not consent to the lesser charge. The reason is because she will likely plead down the felony to a misdemenor ANYWAY. If you consent to a misdemenor, then that will give her wiggle room to plead that down FURTHER. Next thing you know, she gets a slap on the wrist. Don't back down on this. If your husband does not support you, then that tells you something else, doesn't it? There are a lot men with ex partners out there who enable the ex out of fear around the court system and their kids/custody and also because of denial. I would not stay with such a man if it were me, but that is something you'll have to decide. No woman should be put in a position where they must choose between their safety and their marriage. The ex is not going to go away. She is the mother of your stepchild and is going to be around for years and years to come.

[mirdc]

Roo offered great advice.

Do not agree to lessen the charge. Get a restraining order.

You were the one attacked. Period. You are not the bad guy here. If princess bananahammok had been held accountable for her actions before - then you would have not been put into the position where your & your children's safety was in jeopardy. I would sit down with your DH and tell him in no uncertain terms that 1) You are the victim here 2) it could have ended up a lot worse 3) his ex has issues that have nothing to do with you 4) just because someone is a 'mom', it doesn't give them the right to act bat shite crazy 5) you expect HIM as your DH to fully support you 110% P.E.R.I.O.D.

[twinkle.tink]

I agree with Roo, I would not agree with the lesser charge, in fact I would be putting pressure on the DA not to reduce the sentence. I hope the charges include assault on your son, as well.

Make sure you keep the order of protection current, some are only for a limited time. Also, keep your cell phone with you at all times and program your cities cell 911 number in. Since most 911 calls from cell phones get routed to highway patrol or the state police instead of your local PD, this could delay help getting to you quickly.

[karmenzsofia]

Nope. As a matter of fact, I was going to recommend you call CPS kuz she's acting like a lunatic unfit mother.

ETA: Just so Roo's post and I agree with most of what she's saying.

[HandbagLuvr]

I also agree with Roo. Even if you did not suffer lasting injuries her intent was to kill. She took it to a felony when she tried to run you down with her car.

[dusty paws]

she is dangerous to not only you but others - i would press charges.