I hate my Bf's Mom's bets friend!!!! HELP PLS!

Lululovebags · Jun 24th, 2008, 03:45 PM

Ok guys, some words of advice here, please!

I have been going out with my bf for about 6 close to 7 years now and frankly, we have been through hell and back with problems but we always pulled through at the end of the day and we love each other so much.

My bf's mom has this best friend (let's call her "N") and they are really close. Not that it matter to me, but there are a few episodes when I have to meet "N" and make small talk ( bbqs and that kinda stuff) and somehow or rather, I feel that "N" kinda hates me or something. You see, she keeps picking on me on several occasions and never failed to embarass me publicly.

For instance, I brought fresh lilies to my bf's mom 50th birthday party recently and she commented how ugly my flowers! I'm like...hello??like what the hell is wrong with you??

Turns out, she has this 18 year old daughter (I'm 25 btw) and she keeps bringing her out to functions like these. Gradually, I have the feeling that N is actually trying to set up my bf and her daughter. It was pretty obvious when she mentioned on one event that 'how lovely it would be if her daughter were to date my bf'. And I'm like, right there, listening to this shit!

I felt uneasy and tried to talk to my bf about it, but he said to just said to brush off those remarks because it's not important. Damn, but I can't help thinking about it because N keeps bringing her daughter over his place and I get freaking worried!

What should I do???

Irishgal · Jun 24th, 2008, 03:56 PM

Try your best to ignore her, I know it will be hard. The reason is twofold, one, you will look full of class and grace while she will look like a witch if you don't react, and two, reacting will add fuel to her fire which will result in more of her behavior. Good luck.

abbygirl · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lululovebags

Ok guys, some words of advice here, please!

I have been going out with my bf for about 6 close to 7 years now and frankly, we have been through hell and back with problems but we always pulled through at the end of the day and we love each other so much.

My bf's mom has this best friend (let's call her "N") and they are really close. Not that it matter to me, but there are a few episodes when I have to meet "N" and make small talk ( bbqs and that kinda stuff) and somehow or rather, I feel that "N" kinda hates me or something. You see, she keeps picking on me on several occasions and never failed to embarass me publicly.

For instance, I brought fresh lilies to my bf's mom 50th birthday party recently and she commented how ugly my flowers! I'm like...hello??like what the hell is wrong with you??

Turns out, she has this 18 year old daughter (I'm 25 btw) and she keeps bringing her out to functions like these. Gradually, I have the feeling that N is actually trying to set up my bf and her daughter. It was pretty obvious when she mentioned on one event that 'how lovely it would be if her daughter were to date my bf'. And I'm like, right there, listening to this shit!

I felt uneasy and tried to talk to my bf about it, but he said to just said to brush off those remarks because it's not important. Damn, but I can't help thinking about it because N keeps bringing her daughter over his place and I get freaking worried!

What should I do???

,

Next time she brings her daughter to his place, you could say,

oh my boyfriend said we can't really do any babysitting right now cause we are going on a hot date.

As far as the flowers are concerned, you might add the next time she makes that comment, "thank goodness I didn't buy them for you then".

What a bitch.

agart245 · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:16 PM

she sounds pretty thoughtless. it is best to ignore people like this, don't let her rent space in your head. she's not worth it!

elle tee · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:17 PM

As hard as it is, try to ignore her. Anytime she says anything, just smile and say something like, "thank you for your opinion." If she makes a hint about her daughter and your BF when she's speaking to you, say something like "yes, I hope she finds someone wonderful for her, too!" If she's not speaking directly to you, ignore her.
As for the cracks about her daughter and your BF, as long as your BF is not interested, what does it matter, really? Just a jealous, petty woman who should know better, embarrassing herself and probably her daughter in public.

Lululovebags · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irishgal

Try your best to ignore her, I know it will be hard. The reason is twofold, one, you will look full of class and grace while she will look like a witch if you don't react, and two, reacting will add fuel to her fire which will result in more of her behavior. Good luck.

yeah, it's hard to keep up with the grace...i feel like shooting my mouth off so many times !!..

lovinalotofbags · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:25 PM

My question is, why is the daughter letting her mother bring her over to your BF's? Have you thought about talking to your BFs mother about this? I am older now, but I have never been one to put with crap like that.

Kenia · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:25 PM

Sounds like shes jealous of you because she wants your bf for her daughter and you just don't seem to go away! Poor her.

Knowing me I would probably try to make her even more bitter by always looking my best and happy with your bf whenever shes around.

Lululovebags · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abbygirl

,

Next time she brings her daughter to his place, you could say,

oh my boyfriend said we can't really do any babysitting right now cause we are going on a hot date.

As far as the flowers are concerned, you might add the next time she makes that comment, "thank goodness I didn't buy them for you then".

What a bitch.

tempted to abbygirl! but she is really darn close with my bf's mom, i'm so afraid it will wreck my relationship with her instead if i do make a comeback like that..... i'm so angry yet forlorn at the same time at this bitch..grr!

Lululovebags · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agart245

she sounds pretty thoughtless. it is best to ignore people like this, don't let her rent space in your head. she's not worth it!

it's not the first time she is saying all these nasty things to me and I guess I just wanna feel better about dealing with this.. thanks..you've got a point, she is totally not worth it..!

Lululovebags · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elle tee

As hard as it is, try to ignore her. Anytime she says anything, just smile and say something like, "thank you for your opinion." If she makes a hint about her daughter and your BF when she's speaking to you, say something like "yes, I hope she finds someone wonderful for her, too!" If she's not speaking directly to you, ignore her.
As for the cracks about her daughter and your BF, as long as your BF is not interested, what does it matter, really? Just a jealous, petty woman who should know better, embarrassing herself and probably her daughter in public.

i really have to grit my teeth to be able to withstand this woman sometimes...she can be quite open and brutally honest, especially about my appearance..hey, i know i'm no jolie, but what's up with the snide remarks eh?

well, my bf looks like he is on the fence about this...i think he feels that he needs to take sides on this issue and he is not comfortable with it and i hate that! god, how i wish she could just disappear!!

Lululovebags · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovinalotofbags

My question is, why is the daughter letting her mother bring her over to your BF's? Have you thought about talking to your BFs mother about this? I am older now, but I have never been one to put with crap like that.

beats me..! for all that it's worth, I hope she is not having any funny ideas in her head for letting her mom do that...!

Lululovebags · Jun 24th, 2008, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenia

Sounds like shes jealous of you because she wants your bf for her daughter and you just don't seem to go away! Poor her.

Knowing me I would probably try to make her even more bitter by always looking my best and happy with your bf whenever shes around.

thanks guys, I'm feeling better... i knew coming here would relieve a bit of my stress, fretting about this issue.. it has been bugging me for months now ..

illinirdhd · Jun 24th, 2008, 05:09 PM

Just smile and say "that's nice" when you really want to haul off and clobber her. If she's your BF's mom's best friend, it's going to be better to ignore her gracefully than to give her an earful. You don't want to piss off your BF or his mom.

barcreperie · Jun 24th, 2008, 05:29 PM

Want to put her off? When she makes a snide remark to you as she did with the flowers, stop, turn to face her, and with an inquisitive look on your face, say something like "Now why would you say something like that?" Keep looking her in the eye, don't let up. Let her know it's not a rhetorical question, that you're waiting for an answer. Keep doing this, but inserting a variation of the question, each time she makes a snide remark. Highlight what she's done for all who are nearby to listen. But do it in an innocent way. Keep putting her on the spot each time she does it. Embarrass her.

Jun 24th, 2008, 03:45 PM	#1
Lululovebags LV + Tiffany = LOVE Location: Earth	I hate my Bf's Mom's bets friend!!!! HELP PLS! Ok guys, some words of advice here, please! I have been going out with my bf for about 6 close to 7 years now and frankly, we have been through hell and back with problems but we always pulled through at the end of the day and we love each other so much. My bf's mom has this best friend (let's call her "N") and they are really close. Not that it matter to me, but there are a few episodes when I have to meet "N" and make small talk ( bbqs and that kinda stuff) and somehow or rather, I feel that "N" kinda hates me or something. You see, she keeps picking on me on several occasions and never failed to embarass me publicly. For instance, I brought fresh lilies to my bf's mom 50th birthday party recently and she commented how ugly my flowers! I'm like...hello??like what the hell is wrong with you?? Turns out, she has this 18 year old daughter (I'm 25 btw) and she keeps bringing her out to functions like these. Gradually, I have the feeling that N is actually trying to set up my bf and her daughter. It was pretty obvious when she mentioned on one event that 'how lovely it would be if her daughter were to date my bf'. And I'm like, right there, listening to this shit! I felt uneasy and tried to talk to my bf about it, but he said to just said to brush off those remarks because it's not important. Damn, but I can't help thinking about it because N keeps bringing her daughter over his place and I get freaking worried! What should I do??? __________________

Jun 24th, 2008, 03:56 PM	#2
Irishgal I run with scissors Location: Treasure Island	Try your best to ignore her, I know it will be hard. The reason is twofold, one, you will look full of class and grace while she will look like a witch if you don't react, and two, reacting will add fuel to her fire which will result in more of her behavior. Good luck. __________________ Ten thousand blessings to all of our furry friends who are in need of prayers. May they be comfortable, healthy, and blessed with joy and companionship. May their eyes shine brightly and may they know that they are loved.

Jun 24th, 2008, 04:25 PM	#7
lovinalotofbags Fashion disaster Location: Carolinas	My question is, why is the daughter letting her mother bring her over to your BF's? Have you thought about talking to your BFs mother about this? I am older now, but I have never been one to put with crap like that. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Jun 24th, 2008, 05:09 PM	#14
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Location: Las Vegas, NV	Just smile and say "that's nice" when you really want to haul off and clobber her. If she's your BF's mom's best friend, it's going to be better to ignore her gracefully than to give her an earful. You don't want to piss off your BF or his mom. __________________

Jun 24th, 2008, 04:16 PM	#4
agart245 Member Location: West Hartford	she sounds pretty thoughtless. it is best to ignore people like this, don't let her rent space in your head. she's not worth it!

Jun 24th, 2008, 04:17 PM	#5
elle tee Member Location: nyc	As hard as it is, try to ignore her. Anytime she says anything, just smile and say something like, "thank you for your opinion." If she makes a hint about her daughter and your BF when she's speaking to you, say something like "yes, I hope she finds someone wonderful for her, too!" If she's not speaking directly to you, ignore her. As for the cracks about her daughter and your BF, as long as your BF is not interested, what does it matter, really? Just a jealous, petty woman who should know better, embarrassing herself and probably her daughter in public.

Jun 24th, 2008, 04:25 PM	#8
Kenia Member	Sounds like shes jealous of you because she wants your bf for her daughter and you just don't seem to go away! Poor her. Knowing me I would probably try to make her even more bitter by always looking my best and happy with your bf whenever shes around.

Jun 24th, 2008, 05:29 PM	#15
barcreperie Member	Want to put her off? When she makes a snide remark to you as she did with the flowers, stop, turn to face her, and with an inquisitive look on your face, say something like "Now why would you say something like that?" Keep looking her in the eye, don't let up. Let her know it's not a rhetorical question, that you're waiting for an answer. Keep doing this, but inserting a variation of the question, each time she makes a snide remark. Highlight what she's done for all who are nearby to listen. But do it in an innocent way. Keep putting her on the spot each time she does it. Embarrass her.