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PrettyInPink · Oct 6th, 2009, 03:26 PM

My boyfriend and I live about 35 minutes away from each other, and are unable to see each other every day. This morning, I saw him online and I started to chat with him. The talk quickly became of a sexual nature... we began talking about the things we would do the next time we were together. He asked me to email him a picture of myself, but instead... we ended up agreeing to both of us going on webcam. Well, I started my webcam, thinking he'd be on there soon too. And, he was asking me to do certain things, etc. Then, suddenly... he went offline.

So, I called him to ask what happened. I thought perhaps he had internet issues. And his response to me was... "What do you mean? I haven't been online in 2 days!"

After making him swear up and down that he really, honestly, and truly was NOT online... and that he was NOT the one I webcam chatted with (I feel sick to my stomach thinking about this right now

), we deduced that his messenger account has been hacked or taken over by a friend or relative.

I am absolutely ILL thinking about all of this, and he is SO ANGRY that somebody would take advantage of me like that. I feel so dirty, slutty, and violated. The things that we talked about were pretty personal... not to mention they saw me on the webcam!

I needed to write this and tell somebody to get it off of my chest. We're working on finding out WHO could have possibly done this. Apparently, I was not the only person on his messenger list whom this person talked to, but I was the only one who was taken advantage of sexually.

In the meantime, he's deleted his account.

I am just praying... that this is a stranger and not somebody that we both know. And, now going to family functions... and hanging out with his friends, I'm going to wonder if it was any of them. I feel like I won't be able to look these people in the eye until I get some answers!

annemerrick · Oct 6th, 2009, 03:32 PM

That is pretty awful....I am sorry!

redney · Oct 6th, 2009, 03:35 PM

Yikes, that's terrible. I'm sorry this happened to you and hope he finds out what happened with his account!

karmenzsofia · Oct 6th, 2009, 03:37 PM

OMG, this is crazy! I'm so sorry this is happening to you. What an uncomfortable experience it must be. I don't even know what to say...how do you find out who did that?

This is why, among other reasons, I'm always warning others about the risks and dangers of being too open via technology. This goes to show that you never know who's on the other side of that webcam, IM, text. I think it's time for people to reconsider what privacy means and protect their own.

I hope you can get to the bottom of this and that whatever happened during that webcam is not disseminated somehow. Good luck!

PrettyInPink · Oct 6th, 2009, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by karmenzsofia

OMG, this is crazy! I'm so sorry this is happening to you. What an uncomfortable experience it must be. I don't even know what to say...how do you find out who did that?

This is why, among other reasons, I'm always warning others about the risks and dangers of being too open via technology. This goes to show that you never know who's on the other side of that webcam, IM, text. I think it's time for people to reconsider what privacy means and protect their own.

I hope you can get to the bottom of this and that whatever happened during that webcam is not disseminated somehow. Good luck!

My BIGGEST FEAR is that they took screen captures of the whole thing and saved them! I'm going to be a teacher, and I don't want things like that floating around.

I don't know what I was thinking, why I even chatted in the first place? UGHHH!

vhdos · Oct 6th, 2009, 03:41 PM

Wow! You should feel violated because you were! I'm sorry that happened to you. All of this goofy stuff with our privacy these days. It can be pretty scary some times.

Aslan · Oct 6th, 2009, 03:43 PM

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine how that would feel. Likely, it's someone who knows the both of you. :(

domlee · Oct 6th, 2009, 03:52 PM

You should start w/ a brand new account as well. Because that person now knows your username now.

First thing though, run a virus scan as well as for other malware (trojans, etc) FOR YOUR COMPUTER. That way, we eliminate any problems that are occuring on your computer. Then, delete the old account, and start new. I would suggest changing passwords for any email accounts as well. Be sure to change ALL email accounts, because if you just desert an old account,...this is a way in for a hacker. They can use your old account that you've now forgotten about, and get additional data.

Then have your bf do the same for his computer.

Sorry to hear what happened.

karmenzsofia · Oct 6th, 2009, 03:56 PM

^...or...they could play dumb, leave it as it is (for now) with hopes to "communicate" with this person again and maybe find out if it's someone they know. If that doesn't work or can't be done, then ITA with you that both should clean up their computers asap and start new accounts.

candice19 · Oct 6th, 2009, 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by PrettyInPink

I feel so dirty, slutty, and violated

I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I understand why you feel violated. But please, under NO circumstances, should you feel dirty or slutty! You were talking to, who should have been, your BOYFRIEND - you did something perfectly normal. Don't think you did anything wrong, k?

In the meantime, I hope there's some way to find out who did this :(

vhdos · Oct 6th, 2009, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by karmenzsofia

^...or...they could play dumb, leave it as it is (for now) with hopes to "communicate" with this person again and maybe find out if it's someone they know. If that doesn't work or can't be done, then ITA with you that both should clean up their computers asap and start new accounts.

I agree. I'd wait and try to figure out who's doing it.

plain jane doe · Oct 6th, 2009, 04:30 PM

Does he have a crazy ex? It strikes me as extremely difficult to mimic someone believably to their significant other, particularly in that context.

sarasmith3269 · Oct 6th, 2009, 04:38 PM

Can you think of anything about the conversation you guys had via internet? Like did he know your name, where you lived, what you looked like anything that would give away if they actually knew who you were or not? That might help eliminate/incriminate some people.

good luck!

boxermom · Oct 6th, 2009, 05:02 PM

I would feel exactly the same. I'm so sorry. It's pathetic that people out there do things like this. You have every right to feel violated, but please don't tell yourself that you are somehow bad. It was risky, but you truly thought it was your bf.

Hugs to you

juneping · Oct 6th, 2009, 05:20 PM

oh i am so sorry about that.
could it be the last computer that your bf logged into?? may be at work?? or any computer he used to login in with the same program he's used.

feel better

Oct 6th, 2009, 03:26 PM	#1
PrettyInPink OP <3 Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Hockey Town! Posts: 1,445	I feel so violated. My boyfriend and I live about 35 minutes away from each other, and are unable to see each other every day. This morning, I saw him online and I started to chat with him. The talk quickly became of a sexual nature... we began talking about the things we would do the next time we were together. He asked me to email him a picture of myself, but instead... we ended up agreeing to both of us going on webcam. Well, I started my webcam, thinking he'd be on there soon too. And, he was asking me to do certain things, etc. Then, suddenly... he went offline. So, I called him to ask what happened. I thought perhaps he had internet issues. And his response to me was... "What do you mean? I haven't been online in 2 days!" After making him swear up and down that he really, honestly, and truly was NOT online... and that he was NOT the one I webcam chatted with (I feel sick to my stomach thinking about this right now ), we deduced that his messenger account has been hacked or taken over by a friend or relative. I am absolutely ILL thinking about all of this, and he is SO ANGRY that somebody would take advantage of me like that. I feel so dirty, slutty, and violated. The things that we talked about were pretty personal... not to mention they saw me on the webcam! I needed to write this and tell somebody to get it off of my chest. We're working on finding out WHO could have possibly done this. Apparently, I was not the only person on his messenger list whom this person talked to, but I was the only one who was taken advantage of sexually. In the meantime, he's deleted his account. I am just praying... that this is a stranger and not somebody that we both know. And, now going to family functions... and hanging out with his friends, I'm going to wonder if it was any of them. I feel like I won't be able to look these people in the eye until I get some answers!
	__________________

Oct 6th, 2009, 03:32 PM	#2
annemerrick Member Joined: Mar 2006 Location: Desperately Seeking Deals Posts: 5,292	That is pretty awful....I am sorry!
	__________________ Visit my blog (if you so desire) at: http://desperatelyseekingdeals.blogs...&max-results=2

Oct 6th, 2009, 03:35 PM	#3
redney Lovin' Life! Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,754	Yikes, that's terrible. I'm sorry this happened to you and hope he finds out what happened with his account!
redney Lovin' Life! Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,754

Oct 6th, 2009, 03:37 PM	#4
karmenzsofia Life is Plan Z Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Tarot Card Posts: 14,888	OMG, this is crazy! I'm so sorry this is happening to you. What an uncomfortable experience it must be. I don't even know what to say...how do you find out who did that? This is why, among other reasons, I'm always warning others about the risks and dangers of being too open via technology. This goes to show that you never know who's on the other side of that webcam, IM, text. I think it's time for people to reconsider what privacy means and protect their own. I hope you can get to the bottom of this and that whatever happened during that webcam is not disseminated somehow. Good luck!
	__________________ Satisfied but wishing 4 a WTM Mini and an AP ~~* Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Or, more importantly, is it funny?

Oct 6th, 2009, 03:41 PM	#6
vhdos Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,144	Wow! You should feel violated because you were! I'm sorry that happened to you. All of this goofy stuff with our privacy these days. It can be pretty scary some times.
vhdos Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,144	__________________ visit Bonanzle.com

Oct 6th, 2009, 03:43 PM	#7
Aslan liberty+compassion Joined: Nov 2006 Location: New York Posts: 3,371	I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine how that would feel. Likely, it's someone who knows the both of you. :(
	__________________

Oct 6th, 2009, 03:52 PM	#8
domlee Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 952	You should start w/ a brand new account as well. Because that person now knows your username now. First thing though, run a virus scan as well as for other malware (trojans, etc) FOR YOUR COMPUTER. That way, we eliminate any problems that are occuring on your computer. Then, delete the old account, and start new. I would suggest changing passwords for any email accounts as well. Be sure to change ALL email accounts, because if you just desert an old account,...this is a way in for a hacker. They can use your old account that you've now forgotten about, and get additional data. Then have your bf do the same for his computer. Sorry to hear what happened.

Oct 6th, 2009, 03:56 PM	#9
karmenzsofia Life is Plan Z Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Tarot Card Posts: 14,888	^...or...they could play dumb, leave it as it is (for now) with hopes to "communicate" with this person again and maybe find out if it's someone they know. If that doesn't work or can't be done, then ITA with you that both should clean up their computers asap and start new accounts.
	__________________ Satisfied but wishing 4 a WTM Mini and an AP ~~* Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Or, more importantly, is it funny?

Oct 6th, 2009, 04:30 PM	#12
plain jane doe Member Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,573	Does he have a crazy ex? It strikes me as extremely difficult to mimic someone believably to their significant other, particularly in that context.
plain jane doe Member Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,573

Oct 6th, 2009, 04:38 PM	#13
sarasmith3269 Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 688	Can you think of anything about the conversation you guys had via internet? Like did he know your name, where you lived, what you looked like anything that would give away if they actually knew who you were or not? That might help eliminate/incriminate some people. good luck!
sarasmith3269 Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 688

Oct 6th, 2009, 05:02 PM	#14
boxermom Member Joined: Aug 2006 Location: North Carolina Posts: 13,700	I would feel exactly the same. I'm so sorry. It's pathetic that people out there do things like this. You have every right to feel violated, but please don't tell yourself that you are somehow bad. It was risky, but you truly thought it was your bf. Hugs to you

Oct 6th, 2009, 05:20 PM	#15
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,348	oh i am so sorry about that. could it be the last computer that your bf logged into?? may be at work?? or any computer he used to login in with the same program he's used. feel better
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

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