I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!!

MyLuckyCharm · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:36 PM

*Warning* Rant ahead.

I've posted many a thread before about how overprotective and unreasonable my mother is, if any of you remember. Well, today takes the effing cake.

I went to a 3 hour practice session of lacrosse this morning starting at 9:30 a.m. Cool, right? Well, all I've done for the past month EVERYDAY of the week is school, lacrosse, homework, bed. Then, I wake up and start it all over again.

So as you can tell, time is PRECIOUS to me. Literally. Today I wanted to do something to drown my sorrows because I only made JV this year [I wanted to go shopping], and I'm an effing upperclassman. Even though it's my first year playing, but that's another story. Point being, I wound up being forced to WASTE my day at my little brother's stupid birthday party at the ice-skating rink. For one, my body is entirely SORE so there was no way that I was going to ice-skate. So I just sat around the whole time. My parents THREATENED me to come because "I'm a part of the family." They told me I either had to come or my only other option was to stay home, and they would take my car keys so that I couldn't go anywhere else. Which is a bunch of bulls--- because I could always have a friend PICK ME UP. But I went with them anyway.

By the time we get home, my entire day [and limited free time] is gone; it's 6:30. There's still enough time to get with friends if I act quickly. Well, my mother has control issues and feels "insecure" if I'm not boxed up in this f---ing house. If I'm out with friends, she can't "relax" because she's so set on the idea that because I'm a woman, I'm going to get raped if I go out in public. So I'm trapped in this stupid house. MEANWHILE, the Winterfest dance is going on right now and I'm not going. So I feel like even more of an idiot/reject/moron for being stuck home on a Saturday night.

I'm just so SICK of the tight grip that she has on me. I'm not a child anymore; yet she hasn't ever really cut the umbillical cord. I have SO MANY pent up feelings of resentment right now and if I don't find a source to let it all out I swear to God I'm going to LOSE IT. I've managed to keep it together for all these years, but as I get older, I begin to grow LESS AND LESS patient with her irrational hold that she has on me. I'm beginning to want to get out and figure out life for myself, and yet in her little selfish head I'm still her child who she's trying to hold onto for as long as she possibly and unreasonably can.

College is just around the corner for me, and I can tell you right now, there is NO way in HELL that I'm staying at home for college. I feel like I would go crazy and finally blow my top after putting up with her bulls--- for all of these many long years. I need a way out. I need someone to at least PRETEND they care or understand where I'm coming from. WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO DO?

When I calm down in a few hours I'm going to feel like a jerk for dumping this all on you guys, so I apologize in advance. But you have no idea how badly I'm fuming right now.

merika · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:38 PM

^^Is your time so precious that you don't want to attend your little brother's birthday party? I'm sorry, but that doesn't really make me think very highly of you...

hautecouture15 · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:39 PM

I would get a friend to pick me up and go out. My mums like this yet she moans if I dont go out - you can never win can you? Its a good thing college is around the corner IMO

hautecouture15 · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by merika

^^Is your time so precious that you don't want to attend your little brother's birthday party? I'm sorry, but that doesn't really make me think very highly of you...

but shes had a hectic schedule and is sore and tired. Would her brother go to her party? seriously just because you are related to someone doesn't mean you have to do what they want/need all the time.

MyLuckyCharm · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by merika

^^Is your time so precious that you don't want to attend your little brother's birthday party? I'm sorry, but that doesn't really make me think very highly of you...

Yeah, I realize how mean that sounded. You don't understand though; I'm almost an adult and he's 9 years old. It's a bunch of children running around and I have no reason to be there. It wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't a common thing. But my parents feel like everything should be done as a family unit. As in, if one of us goes somewhere, the rest of us have to come along as well. There's 6 people in my family, so you can see how emotionally taxing it gets to be.

I don't see why I have to go to something that has nothing to do with me. Especially when my calves are burning and my thighs are aching...

omgsweet · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:46 PM

I would have been upset with one of my children if they did not attend their siblings birthday...so I understand your mother there. I wonder if she is punishing you for your bad attitude by not letting you out? I understand her being protective...that is how my Mother still is, and I'm 24.

I planned to drive to Vegas a few weeks ago to visit my Grandparents and Aunt. The drive is only 6 hours...I've done it many time in the past few years. But my Mom said no. She was worried there might be ice in the mountains. I don't live at home. But I didn't go either, because I didn't want her to worry.

I understand your frustration. But soon, you will be off to college. You will be on your own. And you will LOVE it!! I certainly did!!!

Also, when/if you have kids of your own, to your horror, you WILL turn into your Mother!

dallas · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:47 PM

You sound like you're pouting and carrying on because you can't get your own way. I mean, why wouldn't you want to celebrate your little brother's birthday? Did you sulk all the way through it? Spoil it for him? And I'll tell you somethin' for nothin': being a parent is bloody scary, especially when your children are old enough to go out on their own. Your mum is trying to protect you but it seems you're too selfish to see it. You say you're not a child anymore, so stop acting like one.

omgsweet · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:49 PM

Good post Dallas!

MyLuckyCharm · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:50 PM

To give you guys that aren't tuned in a little more background info, I'm 17 1/2 years old.

-I've never had a serious boyfriend, other than the silly little relationships that every girl had in middleschool. I don't count those.
-I have to get rides EVERYWHERE. To school. To go off campus for lunch. To get home after school. To go to lacrosse practice. To go to social events. It gets very frustrating when you have a liscence that you aren't even able to use. My mother just doesn't feel comfortable with me "on the road" even though I've been driving for about 2 1/2 years now.
-I can't go anywhere in public ALONE. If I even want to go to the grocery store about 2 miles up the road, I have to take my stupid older brother with me for "protection".
-I technically shouldn't be going off campus because I don't have a lunch pass for eating outside of school. But I go anyways because I'm an upperclassman and it's rediculous; no one my age stays on campus and I don't like the idea of being alone everyday. My mother went to get me a pass one day and chickened out just before they made the transaction to get me one. I felt so embarassed when I was pulled out of class to hear the news that my mother decided to change her mind.
-I'm not allowed to sleep over at other people's houses.
-I have to grovel to do the simplest things like drive to the mall. It feels so degrading.

I could go on forever, but it's making me more and more depressed. I hate myself. Why did I have to be born into this situation?

melissa_talent · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MyLuckyCharm

Yeah, I realize how mean that sounded. You don't understand though; I'm almost an adult and he's 9 years old. It's a bunch of children running around and I have no reason to be there. It wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't a common thing. But my parents feel like everything should be done as a family unit. As in, if one of us goes somewhere, the rest of us have to come along as well. There's 6 people in my family, so you can see how emotionally taxing it gets to be.

I don't see why I have to go to something that has nothing to do with me. Especially when my calves are burning and my thighs are aching...

i totally understand what you mean! my family is not like this at all, but my friend's family is and it drives her up the wall. she's 22 and still living at home and her parents force her to be involved with every "event" that they organize... be it her 7 year old sister's birthday parties or aunt kim and uncle joe's surprise anniversary supper. meanwhile this girls is putting herself through med school, working 30 hours a week AND volunteering at a hospital. when i'm lucky enough to see her she's always tired!

MyLuckyCharm · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:53 PM

You guys are making me out to be a bad guy for not wanting to go to my little brother's birthday.

Honestly, I don't think that it would make a difference at all to him whether or not I showed up. My little brother never spoke to me once there anyways. I felt so out of place... and my mother threatened to take my keys before I could give her an attitude. I didn't even speak a word to her when she told me that because I've learned to keep my mouth shut as I know I'll never win.

MyLuckyCharm · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melissa_talent

i totally understand what you mean! my family is not like this at all, but my friend's family is and it drives her up the wall. she's 22 and still living at home and her parents force her to be involved with every "event" that they organize... be it her 7 year old sister's birthday parties or aunt kim and uncle joe's surprise anniversary supper. meanwhile this girls is putting herself through med school, working 30 hours a week AND volunteering at a hospital. when i'm lucky enough to see her she's always tired!

Ugh, I totally sympathize with your friend, as that is totally unreasonable. When you're in college, you should be able to do your own thing... that is why I vow to never live at home.

And I normally spend most Saturdays at home... not because I WANT to, but because I'm FORCED to. Unless my mother happens to be in a good mood and decides to let me out of the house.

madamefifi · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:57 PM

You're "not a child anymore"? Really? But you're still in high school, still living under your parents' roof and they are feeding you, paying your tuition, etc.? Don't get me wrong, I well remember feeling exactly the way you do when I was your age (17? 18?) and my parents wouldn't let me do what I wanted. Next year you will be in college and you will have more freedom. For now, try to be gracious and enjoy your family, and appreciate that your mother loves you and only really wants what's best for you. Of course she worries. You may be a "woman" but you are still quite young and, forgive me, young women don't always make appropriate choices when they are let loose. Just read the headlines. You have your whole life ahead of you, one more year of parental control is not going to kill you.

bagnshoofetish · Feb 16th, 2008, 08:59 PM

I say suck it all up until you are 18. When you are 18, you can do what you want. If you really want independence, plan on getting a good paying job so you can move out on your own.
My mom was very controlling too. Maybe not to the extent yours is but it was pretty OTT to me. I ended up marrying young just to get out so please DON'T DO THAT!!!! (annulled 4 months later).
Only one other thing I gotta say, please don't call your brothers "stupid". I'm hoping that its just anger talking.

MyLuckyCharm · Feb 16th, 2008, 09:02 PM

For the record, I'm in my junior year of highschool and have my senior year ahead to get through as well. So while college is around the corner, it's still a good ways away. I have to finish up this year and survive my senior year. I don't know how many more Saturday nights I can manage to endure spending alone...

Feb 16th, 2008, 08:36 PM	#1
MyLuckyCharm Daydreamer	I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! *Warning* Rant ahead. I've posted many a thread before about how overprotective and unreasonable my mother is, if any of you remember. Well, today takes the effing cake. I went to a 3 hour practice session of lacrosse this morning starting at 9:30 a.m. Cool, right? Well, all I've done for the past month EVERYDAY of the week is school, lacrosse, homework, bed. Then, I wake up and start it all over again. So as you can tell, time is PRECIOUS to me. Literally. Today I wanted to do something to drown my sorrows because I only made JV this year [I wanted to go shopping], and I'm an effing upperclassman. Even though it's my first year playing, but that's another story. Point being, I wound up being forced to WASTE my day at my little brother's stupid birthday party at the ice-skating rink. For one, my body is entirely SORE so there was no way that I was going to ice-skate. So I just sat around the whole time. My parents THREATENED me to come because "I'm a part of the family." They told me I either had to come or my only other option was to stay home, and they would take my car keys so that I couldn't go anywhere else. Which is a bunch of bulls--- because I could always have a friend PICK ME UP. But I went with them anyway. By the time we get home, my entire day [and limited free time] is gone; it's 6:30. There's still enough time to get with friends if I act quickly. Well, my mother has control issues and feels "insecure" if I'm not boxed up in this f---ing house. If I'm out with friends, she can't "relax" because she's so set on the idea that because I'm a woman, I'm going to get raped if I go out in public. So I'm trapped in this stupid house. MEANWHILE, the Winterfest dance is going on right now and I'm not going. So I feel like even more of an idiot/reject/moron for being stuck home on a Saturday night. I'm just so SICK of the tight grip that she has on me. I'm not a child anymore; yet she hasn't ever really cut the umbillical cord. I have SO MANY pent up feelings of resentment right now and if I don't find a source to let it all out I swear to God I'm going to LOSE IT. I've managed to keep it together for all these years, but as I get older, I begin to grow LESS AND LESS patient with her irrational hold that she has on me. I'm beginning to want to get out and figure out life for myself, and yet in her little selfish head I'm still her child who she's trying to hold onto for as long as she possibly and unreasonably can. College is just around the corner for me, and I can tell you right now, there is NO way in HELL that I'm staying at home for college. I feel like I would go crazy and finally blow my top after putting up with her bulls--- for all of these many long years. I need a way out. I need someone to at least PRETEND they care or understand where I'm coming from. WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO DO? When I calm down in a few hours I'm going to feel like a jerk for dumping this all on you guys, so I apologize in advance. But you have no idea how badly I'm fuming right now. Last edited by MyLuckyCharm; Feb 16th, 2008 at 08:40 PM.

Feb 16th, 2008, 08:38 PM	#2
merika Just me Location: In front of a computer	Re: I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! ^^Is your time so precious that you don't want to attend your little brother's birthday party? I'm sorry, but that doesn't really make me think very highly of you... __________________ I will also gladly authenticate your chocolates for you.

Feb 16th, 2008, 08:39 PM	#3
hautecouture15 Member Location: essex	Re: I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! I would get a friend to pick me up and go out. My mums like this yet she moans if I dont go out - you can never win can you? Its a good thing college is around the corner IMO __________________ Collection: -chloe paddington in tobacco -balenciaga courier in blueberry -chanel navy lambskin jumbo with silver chain -chanel WOC in black caviar with gold chain -mulberry long lock wallet in brown -mulberry cosmetic purse in glazed green goatskin -blaenciaga coin purse in amythest -Louis Vuitton epi cles in grenade

Feb 16th, 2008, 08:46 PM	#6
omgsweet omg...cute bag!! Location: Scottsdale, Az	Re: I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! I would have been upset with one of my children if they did not attend their siblings birthday...so I understand your mother there. I wonder if she is punishing you for your bad attitude by not letting you out? I understand her being protective...that is how my Mother still is, and I'm 24. I planned to drive to Vegas a few weeks ago to visit my Grandparents and Aunt. The drive is only 6 hours...I've done it many time in the past few years. But my Mom said no. She was worried there might be ice in the mountains. I don't live at home. But I didn't go either, because I didn't want her to worry. I understand your frustration. But soon, you will be off to college. You will be on your own. And you will LOVE it!! I certainly did!!! Also, when/if you have kids of your own, to your horror, you WILL turn into your Mother!

Feb 16th, 2008, 08:47 PM	#7
dallas Ya anno	Re: I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! You sound like you're pouting and carrying on because you can't get your own way. I mean, why wouldn't you want to celebrate your little brother's birthday? Did you sulk all the way through it? Spoil it for him? And I'll tell you somethin' for nothin': being a parent is bloody scary, especially when your children are old enough to go out on their own. Your mum is trying to protect you but it seems you're too selfish to see it. You say you're not a child anymore, so stop acting like one. __________________ A good deed is never lost: he who sows courtesy reaps friendship; and he who plants kindness gathers love.

Feb 16th, 2008, 08:49 PM	#8
omgsweet omg...cute bag!! Location: Scottsdale, Az	Re: I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! Good post Dallas!

Feb 16th, 2008, 08:50 PM	#9
MyLuckyCharm Daydreamer	Re: I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! To give you guys that aren't tuned in a little more background info, I'm 17 1/2 years old. -I've never had a serious boyfriend, other than the silly little relationships that every girl had in middleschool. I don't count those. -I have to get rides EVERYWHERE. To school. To go off campus for lunch. To get home after school. To go to lacrosse practice. To go to social events. It gets very frustrating when you have a liscence that you aren't even able to use. My mother just doesn't feel comfortable with me "on the road" even though I've been driving for about 2 1/2 years now. -I can't go anywhere in public ALONE. If I even want to go to the grocery store about 2 miles up the road, I have to take my stupid older brother with me for "protection". -I technically shouldn't be going off campus because I don't have a lunch pass for eating outside of school. But I go anyways because I'm an upperclassman and it's rediculous; no one my age stays on campus and I don't like the idea of being alone everyday. My mother went to get me a pass one day and chickened out just before they made the transaction to get me one. I felt so embarassed when I was pulled out of class to hear the news that my mother decided to change her mind. -I'm not allowed to sleep over at other people's houses. -I have to grovel to do the simplest things like drive to the mall. It feels so degrading. I could go on forever, but it's making me more and more depressed. I hate myself. Why did I have to be born into this situation?

Feb 16th, 2008, 08:53 PM	#11
MyLuckyCharm Daydreamer	Re: I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! You guys are making me out to be a bad guy for not wanting to go to my little brother's birthday. Honestly, I don't think that it would make a difference at all to him whether or not I showed up. My little brother never spoke to me once there anyways. I felt so out of place... and my mother threatened to take my keys before I could give her an attitude. I didn't even speak a word to her when she told me that because I've learned to keep my mouth shut as I know I'll never win.

Feb 16th, 2008, 08:57 PM	#13
madamefifi cat hoarder Location: virginia	Re: I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! You're "not a child anymore"? Really? But you're still in high school, still living under your parents' roof and they are feeding you, paying your tuition, etc.? Don't get me wrong, I well remember feeling exactly the way you do when I was your age (17? 18?) and my parents wouldn't let me do what I wanted. Next year you will be in college and you will have more freedom. For now, try to be gracious and enjoy your family, and appreciate that your mother loves you and only really wants what's best for you. Of course she worries. You may be a "woman" but you are still quite young and, forgive me, young women don't always make appropriate choices when they are let loose. Just read the headlines. You have your whole life ahead of you, one more year of parental control is not going to kill you. __________________ Happiness is a home with at least one cat. On a complete EVERYTHING ban until after Christmas!!!! http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/c...faces?siteId=3

Feb 16th, 2008, 08:59 PM	#14
bagnshoofetish We Love Our Billy	Re: I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! I say suck it all up until you are 18. When you are 18, you can do what you want. If you really want independence, plan on getting a good paying job so you can move out on your own. My mom was very controlling too. Maybe not to the extent yours is but it was pretty OTT to me. I ended up marrying young just to get out so please DON'T DO THAT!!!! (annulled 4 months later). Only one other thing I gotta say, please don't call your brothers "stupid". I'm hoping that its just anger talking. __________________ Please help us: http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...nt-392607.html

Feb 16th, 2008, 09:02 PM	#15
MyLuckyCharm Daydreamer	Re: I feel like I'm going to SELF-DESTRUCT!!!! For the record, I'm in my junior year of highschool and have my senior year ahead to get through as well. So while college is around the corner, it's still a good ways away. I have to finish up this year and survive my senior year. I don't know how many more Saturday nights I can manage to endure spending alone...