I don't know what to do

[Dawn]

everyone has given you really good advice. some of us have been there - believe me. a long time ago, i had a boyfriend for a short time and had to break it off b/c he would not cut ties with his ex. they still went out for dinner, she bought him an expensive christmas present...and while it could very well have been platonic, I trusted my intuition: I was not comfortable with it and I was not happy in that relationship while that was going on. it was really hard, but i'm glad i did it. we broke up and they were back together within a few months.

the fact that he replied to a text during sex is just...wrong. soooo very wrong. not to mention the other things you've told us.

as everyone else has said, if he refuses to acknowledge your concerns, brushes you off, or tries to turn it around on you, WALK AWAY.

[writetotami]

i went through something similar to this. trust your instincts...

it's easy to say "dump him"...but not easy to do. i tried and am still trying to work things out with my SO. even if you ever find out the truth about him and this other girl, and he apologizes for the way he's been acting...there will always be those internal issues to deal with.

[Vendrazi]

I told my husband about this thread, and described some of the elements that set off the red flags.

Him: "Texting during sex? You're doing it wrong."

Me: "Texting or sex?"

Him: "Does it matter?"

FWIW, he agrees with the vast majority of the posters here: something is definitely off about this situation. Your bf's attentions are elsewhere.

[isbltqe07]

You've given him enough chances. And if you don't act now then, it will surely happen again. Clearly, he think everything's ok with him doing these things coz you let him do it. Whether it's implied or not, it's still cheating. You don't want this, trust me; been there before. Let him go before the fire gets burning hot. You will find somebody better. We all do and in the long run we finally understand and get the answers to our questions no matter how long it takes. Dump him, he's not woth it.

[juneping]

Originally Posted by bagaholic85

i think its a lot easier for people to scream dump him when their reading certain things in black and white, but life is full of gray. personally, i dont know if i would dump him if i were you. odd behavior? yes. infidelity? its possible. the real question you need to ask yourself is are you willing to work through it with him. and i think you are from reading your last post. good luck with everything, dont feel scared. all good things in life are hard work, and what is meant to be will be.

i kept thinking about this post. i actually think situation like this is probably one of the easiest scenarios to walk away from the guy.
like other threads complaining their bf..some were their bf see his mother all the time, or only want to hang out w/ their guy friends...or some problem the guy was going thru. that kind of situations would make us think twice before making any decision.
for this one....it's sort of like a no brainer to me. what else to see...bump into them having dinner together?? or worse...?
first is emotionally unavailable...and later is physical unavailable....now emotionally he's gone.

[bagaholic85]

Originally Posted by juneping

i kept thinking about this post. i actually think situation like this is probably one of the easiest scenarios to walk away from the guy. like other threads complaining their bf..some were their bf see his mother all the time, or only want to hang out w/ their guy friends...or some problem the guy was going thru. that kind of situations would make us think twice before making any decision. for this one....it's sort of like a no brainer to me. what else to see...bump into them having dinner together?? or worse...? first is emotionally unavailable...and later is physical unavailable....now emotionally he's gone.

my response was more to hers (on the 2nd page). relationships are hard, and theres no "concrete" evidence other then a gut feeling she had when they went out together and the fact that she may or may not have caught him texting during sex (honestly if it were me id have him show me his phone - which is bad, but texting during an intimate moment is beyond words). but i did notice the gut feeling came after a bout of jealousy of him texting during dinner, and the convo with his friend about how they met years ago.

i tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, and cant help but think there mite be more to the story. if there was something to hide, why would he even admit that he was texting this friend. he couldve lied and said it was anyone else in the world. on the other hand it could be as simple as he always had a thing for the other girl, and now that shes single feelings got stirred up.

[materialgurl]

sorry to be blunt, but it really sounds like he may be interested in this other girl. present him with all this evidence... and dump him NOW.

[tiffthegreat]

The thing that sucks about being a girl is that when our bf's/husbands start acting up and not treating us like they should, we tend to always say " but he was always so nice" or "he was always trustworthy and this that and the other" but the past doesn't matter. It's hard to forget what he WAS like, but you need to see past that. Do you want to be with someone who WAS the guy you wanted to be in a long term relationship with or do you want to be with the guy who IS the person you want to be in a long term relationship with?
Texting during sex was the first red flag, i mean not to be blunt here, but guys LOVE sex, and so to be thinking about something else or someone else during sex must mean that, that thing or someone is very important. Then he has the nerve to not be paying attention to you at dinner and by his reactions to whatever she was saying to him, you can tell he's really interested in this girl. First you should tell him how you feel about his relationship with her, hear his side, but then give him and ultimatum, i definitely feel that they will hook up if they continue to have a relationship.