I confess.... living with him scares me.

PetiteChaton · Jul 4th, 2008, 12:21 AM

We have been together for 5 years.
He is so happy about the thought and cant wait for it to happen... me? I can wait. Im 23 and i feel that its too young.. but in theory i know its not. Im worried about how our relationship will change once we live together because right now Im very happy

Im worried about (this sounds so bad), but i dont want to be a wife yet..and I feel by moving in together thats the role Im taking on.. I feel like all romance will be thrown out the window..and i dont want that to happen.

There is also talk about moving interstate if he gets a really good job and they offer that option to him...which would be for about a year or so..and the thought terrifies me even more.

I dont know why i'm feeling this way.

sailornep5 · Jul 4th, 2008, 12:40 AM

If you are not ready to move in together, then don't! Just because you have been together for five years doesn't mean you have to be ready. You are 23, that is still very young, don't feel pressured into doing it. You BOTH have to decide it's the right time.

bayoucitygal · Jul 4th, 2008, 01:07 AM

If your not ready don't do it. There's no doubt your relationship will change. Since you will be with each other a lot more. You will learn a lot about each other like habits,pet peeves and etc.

I was your age when I moved in with my fiance at the the time, we're married now. I admit I was a bit nervous because I wanted everything to be perfect. I was also sad that I was moving away from my parents.

VPT · Jul 4th, 2008, 01:14 AM

Don't move in together there will be much less freedom to do anything! Trust me I did and I'm married. At 23 there are SO MANY things to do!!! Living together is for when you're older and more mellow like nearer 30.

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Jul 4th, 2008, 02:39 AM

take things at your own pace at what your comfortable with. or maybe talking to him and letting him now how you feel. maybe he'll understand and you two can work something out where if you do chose to live with him you wont take on the wife role yet.. i dunno. just throwing something out there. hope all works out well!! hugs!!

Junkenpo · Jul 4th, 2008, 06:29 AM

I wasn't ready to move in with my ex-BF when I was 23 (we'd been dating for 4years at that time), and he's the one that suggested it first. I told him that I intended to be engaged before I moved in with a guy. I'm glad I stuck to my guns, we broke up the next year.

The next relationship I was in is my current one. We dated for 4 years (long distance) though I've known him as a friend much longer than that. He popped the question earlier this year, and then moved closer to me. I'm not the sole reason he moved back, but I am a significant reason. We've been living together for about a month now, and we tie the knot in about 2 weeks. While I don't think I feel very "wifely," there's definitely an adjustment.

Talk it over honestly with your BF. Communication is key!

barcreperie · Jul 4th, 2008, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VPT

Don't move in together there will be much less freedom to do anything! Trust me I did and I'm married. At 23 there are SO MANY things to do!!! Living together is for when you're older and more mellow like nearer 30.

Very wise words! Enjoy the age you're at without tying yourself down yet. It's all so fleeting and you can never go back in time...

Cristina · Jul 4th, 2008, 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sailornep5

If you are not ready to move in together, then don't! Just because you have been together for five years doesn't mean you have to be ready. You are 23, that is still very young, don't feel pressured into doing it. You BOTH have to decide it's the right time.

ITA! Well said. Talk about things with your SO and let him know how you feel.

elle tee · Jul 4th, 2008, 03:19 PM

I moved in with my SO last October and it was a great decision. Whenever my friends ask me for advice about it, I tell them this- if you THINK it's a good idea, it's NOT. If you KNOW it's a good idea, then go for it! We had no doubts about our relationship or living together and were completely in love, but it is still hard work to live with an SO. If you're having doubts it's for a good reason, and you may want to hold off.

iluvhandbags · Jul 4th, 2008, 05:01 PM

I got married at 23 and had been living with my husband for the three years prior to that. I met him my freshman year of college and just knew it was right. I would have never in a million years imagined that I would have been married at 23, but four years later, we are still happy and our relationship is perfect. When you know, you know. If you are worried about it however, I wouldn't do it. I have also never been into drinking/going to clubs, having a huge partying social life, so the marriage track fit my lifestyle well. . .

lovinalotofbags · Jul 4th, 2008, 06:19 PM

When all the signs are there to not do it, then you need to heed the warning and wait.

~Fabulousity~ · Jul 4th, 2008, 06:57 PM

I got married at 23 and didn't feel the way you do, everyone is different and if you know that you're not ready don't do it!!!!!!

talexs · Jul 4th, 2008, 11:56 PM

I am 23 too so I like to think that I can kind of realy understand what you are going through. My thought is if there is any part of you that thinks moving in together is a good idea I would try it. The guy I was dating brought it up a few months ago and I ignored him and danced around the subject, ever since then things have been different and I think we are headed for a break up. My thinking is what's the worst that can happen, it doesn't work, you can always move out

Chanel Angel · Jul 5th, 2008, 01:50 AM

do not do it. just wait. if you are scared then its for a reason. only move in together if you cant stand not to!! you should be very excited to move in together, not scared. also, your relationship will change too cause you are always around one another....

harleyNemma · Jul 5th, 2008, 01:55 AM

To thine own self be true.

Jul 4th, 2008, 12:21 AM	#1
PetiteChaton Tres chic Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 61	I confess.... living with him scares me. We have been together for 5 years. He is so happy about the thought and cant wait for it to happen... me? I can wait. Im 23 and i feel that its too young.. but in theory i know its not. Im worried about how our relationship will change once we live together because right now Im very happy Im worried about (this sounds so bad), but i dont want to be a wife yet..and I feel by moving in together thats the role Im taking on.. I feel like all romance will be thrown out the window..and i dont want that to happen. There is also talk about moving interstate if he gets a really good job and they offer that option to him...which would be for about a year or so..and the thought terrifies me even more. I dont know why i'm feeling this way.

Jul 4th, 2008, 01:14 AM	#4
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Joined: May 2008 Location: Vanc, WA Posts: 1,823	Don't move in together there will be much less freedom to do anything! Trust me I did and I'm married. At 23 there are SO MANY things to do!!! Living together is for when you're older and more mellow like nearer 30. __________________

Jul 4th, 2008, 02:39 AM	#5
oo0ehxtahcee0oo Happily Engaged! Joined: Aug 2007 Location: The Bay, CA Posts: 3,452	take things at your own pace at what your comfortable with. or maybe talking to him and letting him now how you feel. maybe he'll understand and you two can work something out where if you do chose to live with him you wont take on the wife role yet.. i dunno. just throwing something out there. hope all works out well!! hugs!! __________________ Got free time?? Kill some time by keeping yourself entertained, updated, and get some great savings here!! I'm happily engaged [Click photo to read thread!]

Jul 4th, 2008, 06:29 AM	#6
Junkenpo Kindness is a choice Joined: Jan 2007 Location: 2500 miles from any continental landmass Posts: 2,349	I wasn't ready to move in with my ex-BF when I was 23 (we'd been dating for 4years at that time), and he's the one that suggested it first. I told him that I intended to be engaged before I moved in with a guy. I'm glad I stuck to my guns, we broke up the next year. The next relationship I was in is my current one. We dated for 4 years (long distance) though I've known him as a friend much longer than that. He popped the question earlier this year, and then moved closer to me. I'm not the sole reason he moved back, but I am a significant reason. We've been living together for about a month now, and we tie the knot in about 2 weeks. While I don't think I feel very "wifely," there's definitely an adjustment. Talk it over honestly with your BF. Communication is key! __________________ Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky] PONDERING: Damier Pochette Melville, mini pochette, Naviglio; Ivoire Epi Alma; Amarante cles or keyholder...

Jul 4th, 2008, 03:19 PM	#9
elle tee Member Joined: Dec 2006 Location: nyc Posts: 1,635	I moved in with my SO last October and it was a great decision. Whenever my friends ask me for advice about it, I tell them this- if you THINK it's a good idea, it's NOT. If you KNOW it's a good idea, then go for it! We had no doubts about our relationship or living together and were completely in love, but it is still hard work to live with an SO. If you're having doubts it's for a good reason, and you may want to hold off. __________________

Jul 4th, 2008, 12:40 AM	#2
sailornep5 Member Joined: Apr 2006 Location: SF Bay Area, CA Posts: 1,344	If you are not ready to move in together, then don't! Just because you have been together for five years doesn't mean you have to be ready. You are 23, that is still very young, don't feel pressured into doing it. You BOTH have to decide it's the right time.

Jul 4th, 2008, 01:07 AM	#3
bayoucitygal Member Joined: May 2007 Location: humid Houston,TX Posts: 88	If your not ready don't do it. There's no doubt your relationship will change. Since you will be with each other a lot more. You will learn a lot about each other like habits,pet peeves and etc. I was your age when I moved in with my fiance at the the time, we're married now. I admit I was a bit nervous because I wanted everything to be perfect. I was also sad that I was moving away from my parents.

Jul 4th, 2008, 05:01 PM	#10
iluvhandbags Member Joined: Dec 2005 Posts: 864	I got married at 23 and had been living with my husband for the three years prior to that. I met him my freshman year of college and just knew it was right. I would have never in a million years imagined that I would have been married at 23, but four years later, we are still happy and our relationship is perfect. When you know, you know. If you are worried about it however, I wouldn't do it. I have also never been into drinking/going to clubs, having a huge partying social life, so the marriage track fit my lifestyle well. . .

Jul 4th, 2008, 06:19 PM	#11
lovinalotofbags Member Joined: Mar 2008 Location: Carolinas Posts: 1,377	When all the signs are there to not do it, then you need to heed the warning and wait. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Jul 4th, 2008, 06:57 PM	#12
~Fabulousity~ Yes we can! Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Creating my life... Posts: 4,818	I got married at 23 and didn't feel the way you do, everyone is different and if you know that you're not ready don't do it!!!!!! __________________ Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit - Napoleon Hill

Jul 4th, 2008, 11:56 PM	#13
talexs Beauty Junkie Joined: Jun 2008 Location: The (215) Posts: 323	I am 23 too so I like to think that I can kind of realy understand what you are going through. My thought is if there is any part of you that thinks moving in together is a good idea I would try it. The guy I was dating brought it up a few months ago and I ignored him and danced around the subject, ever since then things have been different and I think we are headed for a break up. My thinking is what's the worst that can happen, it doesn't work, you can always move out

Jul 5th, 2008, 01:50 AM	#14
Chanel Angel Member Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 62	do not do it. just wait. if you are scared then its for a reason. only move in together if you cant stand not to!! you should be very excited to move in together, not scared. also, your relationship will change too cause you are always around one another....

Jul 5th, 2008, 01:55 AM	#15
harleyNemma Harley & Hermes Joined: Aug 2006 Location: The PNW Posts: 3,185	To thine own self be true. __________________ Live Life With Passion