I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts

Nishi621 · Dec 13th, 2007, 02:06 PM

I know this is a petty, petty complaint. But, for those of you who have heard me speak of one of my SILs (I call her cheapo), you might understand.

So, Christmas is coming and I being one of the few non Jewish people in this family, have a Christmas party on Christmas Day. have done this for years now. We serve a ton of food and liquor, desserts, etc. etc.. December 24th happens to be MIL's birthday 9well-we found out it's not really, her real birthday is Dec. 10th, but they have always thought it was the 24th, so.....). Since the entire family comes here for Christmas Day, it has turned into the day to celebrate MIL's birthday also.

SIL just wrote me to say she will be getting a birthday cake for MIL at BJ's and it will cost $15 and can we all chip in for it. No biggie-it's only 5 bucks a person (hubby and his 2 sisters), but, somehow it bugs me that she has to ask for the money. I mean, she can't just buy her mother a $15 cake? she has to get 5 bucks each out of her siblings? I mean, wouldn't she be bringing something to my house anyway? So, why not the cake? We are providing all the food, drinks, etc.

I don't know-I know this is petty BS on my part and they are MIL's children too-it's just because it is this SIL and she nickels and dimes everyone all the time to the point that if you borrow a buck from her, she is hunting you down 5 minutes later asking for it. Sorry, just had to vent. I don't mean to sound cheap-it's not that I mind giving the 5 bucks, it's just I mind her asking for it.

kbell · Dec 13th, 2007, 02:12 PM

That would annoy me as well. And I'd probably respond with that's fine - and can you can pitch in XX amount for all the food/drink we're providing cost XX - or we can just call it even:) But I have little/no patience with cheapness/nickel & diming. Actually - no I wouldn't say that to keep the peace but that is exactly what I would want to say.

devoted · Dec 13th, 2007, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kbell

That would annoy me as well. And I'd probably respond with that's fine - and can you can pitch in XX amount for all the food/drink we're providing cost XX - or we can just call it even:) But I have little/no patience with cheapness/nickel & diming. Actually - no I wouldn't say that to keep the peace but that is exactly what I would want to say.

Perfect response to her, I am fine with cheap idiots but it always seems they never mind mooching off everyone else.....hypocrites.

Nishi621 · Dec 13th, 2007, 02:34 PM

Quick story. We go to the same pool club as SIL. This summer, we were both downstairs at the club, I was thirsty and had no money on me. The soda machines are downstairs, my money was upstairs and across the pool. So, i asked SIL for a dollar to get a soda-i said i would give it to her later. She gave me the dollar.

Not 10 minutes later, we are all upstairs, hubby has now joined us. And, with a tone in her voice like i was gonna run off, she says "are you going to give me the dollar?". She seriously is one of the cheapest people ever, ever I have met in my life. if i told you what went on at her house for chanukah-oy!

And, she will happily tell you stories about how her and hubby gypped people or a store out of some money. The old 'they screwed up and we didn't say anything-teehee".

Speedy · Dec 13th, 2007, 02:42 PM

I totally dislike people like your SIL Nishi. My father was like that... money was his God.

You have every right to be petty. Rant away.

Tammy518 · Dec 13th, 2007, 03:21 PM

Nishi, as soon as I saw the title of your post I knew it was going to be about your cheapo SIL. It's ridiculous that can't spring for the whole $15 cake considering you're hosting the party at your house and providing everything else. Wonder how she'd like it if you said, "Okay. I'll give you our $5 for the cake, and then I'll let you know what your 1/3 would be for all the other food and drinks we're providing."

merika · Dec 13th, 2007, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kbell

That would annoy me as well. And I'd probably respond with that's fine - and can you can pitch in XX amount for all the food/drink we're providing cost XX - or we can just call it even:) But I have little/no patience with cheapness/nickel & diming. Actually - no I wouldn't say that to keep the peace but that is exactly what I would want to say.

I would say this. Show her the bill for the food, too!

IntlSet · Dec 13th, 2007, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kbell

That would annoy me as well. And I'd probably respond with that's fine - and can you can pitch in XX amount for all the food/drink we're providing cost XX - or we can just call it even:) But I have little/no patience with cheapness/nickel & diming. Actually - no I wouldn't say that to keep the peace but that is exactly what I would want to say.

I agree... sorry, Nishi, that you have this person in your life!

ChenChen · Dec 13th, 2007, 03:53 PM

Whoa... I agree with everyone who said that you should ask her for 1/3 the cost of the food YOU'RE providing if she insists that you pay $5 for the cake! And maybe even if she drops the $5 issue!

Nishi621 · Dec 13th, 2007, 03:56 PM

here's an example of how her and hubby love to rip off "the big people" as they call it.

they constantly have stories about how they went somewhere, purchased something and the sales person rang them up wrong (and, I am talking big time wrong, like $20 here and there, not just a few cents) and they didn't say anything because, oh Sears stinks anyway, they deserve it, bla bla bla.

Or, SIL likes to shop at garage sales, she recently bought a large wooden backyard swing, she paid $50 for it, for another $25 -the people would deliver it to her house. When day of delivery came, the person delivering it forgot to ask for the money and BIL, knowing full well he owed it, just didn't give it to them. SIL gloated to hubby about how she 'saved' the $25.

Here's an example that caused a recent blow up with us. We go out to eat with them quite often (other than the cheapness factor-she can be fun). so, we went to this small, family run restaurant in Astoria (for those of you who don't know NY, this is in Queens, a bit of a drive for us).

Anyway, we had a great meal. When it came time to pay the bill-SIL and I were outside while hubby and BIL tended to it. it was BIL's turn to put it on his credit card (we alternate since we all want the cc points) and for hubby to give him our share in cash. Well, BIL and hubby come out of the restaurant and I see BIL give hubby back $20 saying 'here's your share back". i was like-what? What happened? BIL proceeds to tell me, (we are in the car now), that when the bill came, it was for a total of $160 (tip included), so, hubby gave BIL $70 and BIL gave the hostess (who I believe is one of the owners of the place), his cc to pay the bill. Well, it seems that the hostess put the amount in wrong when she charged BIL's cc and brought him back a receipt that said his card was going to be charged $120-he knew full well and good it should read $160. he asked hubby what he would do, hubby said he would tell the hostess her mistake. BIL said, not me-we just saved 40 bucks! He signed the receipt, gave it back to the hostess and they left.

i was livid! i yelled how could you do that? You ripped them off for 40 bucks! BIL's answer was-"oh-i wouldn't do it if it were a mom and pop place-i only do it with big places!". I was like-first of all, it shouldn't matter if it was a big or small place, it's still stealing and secondly, this is a small place! it's not like it was some big chain restaurant-it was a locally owned place! i was just livid and shocked at hubby that he allowed this to go on. he said he didn't feel he could say anything since it wasn't his cc and he didn't want to cause a scene in the restaurant! Hubby also has a big brother complex with BIL-BIL is about 18 years older than hubby.

Anyway, it made for a nice end to the evening-LOL. I ended up mailing the money to them in an anonymous envelope, i felt so bad. In the meantime, SIL and BIL thought I was crazy for being so concerned with it all.

HubbaWubba · Dec 13th, 2007, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kbell

That would annoy me as well. And I'd probably respond with that's fine - and can you can pitch in XX amount for all the food/drink we're providing cost XX - or we can just call it even:) But I have little/no patience with cheapness/nickel & diming. Actually - no I wouldn't say that to keep the peace but that is exactly what I would want to say.

I agree with this too. I have a big problem with cheap people.

Syntagma · Dec 13th, 2007, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kbell

That would annoy me as well. And I'd probably respond with that's fine - and can you can pitch in XX amount for all the food/drink we're providing cost XX - or we can just call it even:)

Charge her! LOL

Seriously, who wouldn't just buy their mother a cake?!! Especially when someone else is providing the other food and beverages!?!

Jill · Dec 13th, 2007, 05:56 PM

What a tight wad!
TOTALLY send her a bill for all the food and tell her if she is so freakin cheap about a cake...she oughtta pay for part of the food too..
People like this DRIVE ME NUTS!

decocritter · Dec 13th, 2007, 06:26 PM

Call her on it until she gets it. My neighbor is like this, always getting you to do some task or chore for her that ties up a lot of your time. Then she gives you a Latte. Big deal. How about pay me for my time. I quit answering the phone.

heartnaspade · Dec 13th, 2007, 06:38 PM

Normally I try to be the bigger person in these situations, but with someone like that who clearly has no common courtesy, you sometimes have to play fire with fire. She wants to brag about her lack of integrity and concern for other human beings, then she shouldn't expect anyone else to do her a favor or go out of their way to provide for her. If she's serious about the $5, I would definitely ask her for some money for the food your providing. It will probably catch her off guard and may make her realize what a complete ass she's being. I doubt it though, people like that are too self-centered to ever think they're wrong.

Dec 13th, 2007, 02:06 PM	#1
Nishi621 Member	I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts I know this is a petty, petty complaint. But, for those of you who have heard me speak of one of my SILs (I call her cheapo), you might understand. So, Christmas is coming and I being one of the few non Jewish people in this family, have a Christmas party on Christmas Day. have done this for years now. We serve a ton of food and liquor, desserts, etc. etc.. December 24th happens to be MIL's birthday 9well-we found out it's not really, her real birthday is Dec. 10th, but they have always thought it was the 24th, so.....). Since the entire family comes here for Christmas Day, it has turned into the day to celebrate MIL's birthday also. SIL just wrote me to say she will be getting a birthday cake for MIL at BJ's and it will cost $15 and can we all chip in for it. No biggie-it's only 5 bucks a person (hubby and his 2 sisters), but, somehow it bugs me that she has to ask for the money. I mean, she can't just buy her mother a $15 cake? she has to get 5 bucks each out of her siblings? I mean, wouldn't she be bringing something to my house anyway? So, why not the cake? We are providing all the food, drinks, etc. I don't know-I know this is petty BS on my part and they are MIL's children too-it's just because it is this SIL and she nickels and dimes everyone all the time to the point that if you borrow a buck from her, she is hunting you down 5 minutes later asking for it. Sorry, just had to vent. I don't mean to sound cheap-it's not that I mind giving the 5 bucks, it's just I mind her asking for it. __________________

Dec 13th, 2007, 02:12 PM	#2
kbell Member Location: MA	Re: I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts That would annoy me as well. And I'd probably respond with that's fine - and can you can pitch in XX amount for all the food/drink we're providing cost XX - or we can just call it even:) But I have little/no patience with cheapness/nickel & diming. Actually - no I wouldn't say that to keep the peace but that is exactly what I would want to say. __________________ Heal quickly & come back soon!

Dec 13th, 2007, 02:34 PM	#4
Nishi621 Member	Re: I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts Quick story. We go to the same pool club as SIL. This summer, we were both downstairs at the club, I was thirsty and had no money on me. The soda machines are downstairs, my money was upstairs and across the pool. So, i asked SIL for a dollar to get a soda-i said i would give it to her later. She gave me the dollar. Not 10 minutes later, we are all upstairs, hubby has now joined us. And, with a tone in her voice like i was gonna run off, she says "are you going to give me the dollar?". She seriously is one of the cheapest people ever, ever I have met in my life. if i told you what went on at her house for chanukah-oy! And, she will happily tell you stories about how her and hubby gypped people or a store out of some money. The old 'they screwed up and we didn't say anything-teehee". __________________

Dec 13th, 2007, 02:42 PM	#5
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts I totally dislike people like your SIL Nishi. My father was like that... money was his God. You have every right to be petty. Rant away.

Dec 13th, 2007, 03:21 PM	#6
Tammy518 Just one more... Location: Virginia Beach, VA	Re: I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts Nishi, as soon as I saw the title of your post I knew it was going to be about your cheapo SIL. It's ridiculous that can't spring for the whole $15 cake considering you're hosting the party at your house and providing everything else. Wonder how she'd like it if you said, "Okay. I'll give you our $5 for the cake, and then I'll let you know what your 1/3 would be for all the other food and drinks we're providing."

Dec 13th, 2007, 03:53 PM	#9
ChenChen Handbags Please!	Re: I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts Whoa... I agree with everyone who said that you should ask her for 1/3 the cost of the food YOU'RE providing if she insists that you pay $5 for the cake! And maybe even if she drops the $5 issue! __________________ WISHLIST Chanel Red Flap Otherwise... BANNED! ~~ChenChen's Collection~~

Dec 13th, 2007, 03:56 PM	#10
Nishi621 Member	Re: I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts here's an example of how her and hubby love to rip off "the big people" as they call it. they constantly have stories about how they went somewhere, purchased something and the sales person rang them up wrong (and, I am talking big time wrong, like $20 here and there, not just a few cents) and they didn't say anything because, oh Sears stinks anyway, they deserve it, bla bla bla. Or, SIL likes to shop at garage sales, she recently bought a large wooden backyard swing, she paid $50 for it, for another $25 -the people would deliver it to her house. When day of delivery came, the person delivering it forgot to ask for the money and BIL, knowing full well he owed it, just didn't give it to them. SIL gloated to hubby about how she 'saved' the $25. Here's an example that caused a recent blow up with us. We go out to eat with them quite often (other than the cheapness factor-she can be fun). so, we went to this small, family run restaurant in Astoria (for those of you who don't know NY, this is in Queens, a bit of a drive for us). Anyway, we had a great meal. When it came time to pay the bill-SIL and I were outside while hubby and BIL tended to it. it was BIL's turn to put it on his credit card (we alternate since we all want the cc points) and for hubby to give him our share in cash. Well, BIL and hubby come out of the restaurant and I see BIL give hubby back $20 saying 'here's your share back". i was like-what? What happened? BIL proceeds to tell me, (we are in the car now), that when the bill came, it was for a total of $160 (tip included), so, hubby gave BIL $70 and BIL gave the hostess (who I believe is one of the owners of the place), his cc to pay the bill. Well, it seems that the hostess put the amount in wrong when she charged BIL's cc and brought him back a receipt that said his card was going to be charged $120-he knew full well and good it should read $160. he asked hubby what he would do, hubby said he would tell the hostess her mistake. BIL said, not me-we just saved 40 bucks! He signed the receipt, gave it back to the hostess and they left. i was livid! i yelled how could you do that? You ripped them off for 40 bucks! BIL's answer was-"oh-i wouldn't do it if it were a mom and pop place-i only do it with big places!". I was like-first of all, it shouldn't matter if it was a big or small place, it's still stealing and secondly, this is a small place! it's not like it was some big chain restaurant-it was a locally owned place! i was just livid and shocked at hubby that he allowed this to go on. he said he didn't feel he could say anything since it wasn't his cc and he didn't want to cause a scene in the restaurant! Hubby also has a big brother complex with BIL-BIL is about 18 years older than hubby. Anyway, it made for a nice end to the evening-LOL. I ended up mailing the money to them in an anonymous envelope, i felt so bad. In the meantime, SIL and BIL thought I was crazy for being so concerned with it all. __________________ Last edited by Nishi621; Dec 13th, 2007 at 04:04 PM.

Dec 13th, 2007, 05:56 PM	#13
Jill	Re: I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts What a tight wad! TOTALLY send her a bill for all the food and tell her if she is so freakin cheap about a cake...she oughtta pay for part of the food too.. People like this DRIVE ME NUTS!

Dec 13th, 2007, 06:26 PM	#14
decocritter Member	Re: I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts Call her on it until she gets it. My neighbor is like this, always getting you to do some task or chore for her that ties up a lot of your time. Then she gives you a Latte. Big deal. How about pay me for my time. I quit answering the phone. __________________ Boots

Dec 13th, 2007, 06:38 PM	#15
heartnaspade Ali Location: back in NYC	Re: I am just annoyed because she makes me nuts Normally I try to be the bigger person in these situations, but with someone like that who clearly has no common courtesy, you sometimes have to play fire with fire. She wants to brag about her lack of integrity and concern for other human beings, then she shouldn't expect anyone else to do her a favor or go out of their way to provide for her. If she's serious about the $5, I would definitely ask her for some money for the food your providing. It will probably catch her off guard and may make her realize what a complete ass she's being. I doubt it though, people like that are too self-centered to ever think they're wrong.