Husband Mid-Life Crisis Update

KWittman · Oct 5th, 2008, 10:23 PM

OK, here goes!

Thank you to everyone who responded on the previous threads. I was reading. I just really wanted to give things time to fix themselves in my life, if you know what I mean. Otherwise I would have been doing something which, although it might not have contributed to the problem (connection with my husband), certainly did not help to continue to solve it.

There is no better way to say it. My husband and I have had a pretty disruptive year. Parts of it have been crappy. There have been times this summer when, as I posted, I cried. I can't remember crying like that since I was, like, 20 years old. And, I was drunk half of those times. I just can't remember being so upset in recent times as when I thought, oh my Good Lord, my husband is leaving me, and I can't do a think about it.

Like, the Rielle Hunter, John Edwards, Elizabeth Edwards thing. I picture myself as Elizabeth Edwards. The world agrees with me, my husband thinks otherwise. How does the bottom of your world still not drop out under these circumstances? Holy God. And I am not even close to the accomplished, educated person and dedicated spouse that is Elizabeth Edwards. That she went on to have 2 children after losing her first son, still just sucks the life-wind out of me.

Anyway, I have tried to continue to approach everything with the half-and-half approach. He has curtailed the "himself" activities, and I have increased the "we" activities. I have eliminated the "me" activities unless it involves the kids or things that benefit our family (volunteer stuff for our schools, the kids' sports).

Things have been waaaay better. Not perfect. Not the way they were a year ago, or 2 years ago, but 100 % better than they were this summer. He is home every night, and we talk every night. Other stuff .... present and accounted for.

Still working through things? Yes, definitely. Past crisis stage? I think so. Moving positively? Yes.

Asked if I wanted to go see *certain concert act* and I said "no" ... he said "then I probably won't go, either, it wouldn't be fun without you."

Sooooo.

:)

ilovepinkhearts · Oct 5th, 2008, 10:38 PM

i'm so happy things are looking up for you and him. and i hope that things continue to improve. just remember there will be bad times that arise from time to time...all you can do is communicate and try to deal with things the best that you can. i wish you both all the best

scarlett_2005 · Oct 5th, 2008, 10:40 PM

Glad to hear things are going better for you two.

Best of luck to the both of you!

lolitakali · Oct 5th, 2008, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KWittman

OK, here goes!

Thank you to everyone who responded on the previous threads. I was reading. I just really wanted to give things time to fix themselves in my life, if you know what I mean. Otherwise I would have been doing something which, although it might not have contributed to the problem (connection with my husband), certainly did not help to continue to solve it.

There is no better way to say it. My husband and I have had a pretty disruptive year. Parts of it have been crappy. There have been times this summer when, as I posted, I cried. I can't remember crying like that since I was, like, 20 years old. And, I was drunk half of those times. I just can't remember being so upset in recent times as when I thought, oh my Good Lord, my husband is leaving me, and I can't do a think about it.

Like, the Rielle Hunter, John Edwards, Elizabeth Edwards thing. I picture myself as Elizabeth Edwards. The world agrees with me, my husband thinks otherwise. How does the bottom of your world still not drop out under these circumstances? Holy God. And I am not even close to the accomplished, educated person and dedicated spouse that is Elizabeth Edwards. That she went on to have 2 children after losing her first son, still just sucks the life-wind out of me.

Anyway, I have tried to continue to approach everything with the half-and-half approach. He has curtailed the "himself" activities, and I have increased the "we" activities. I have eliminated the "me" activities unless it involves the kids or things that benefit our family (volunteer stuff for our schools, the kids' sports).

Things have been waaaay better. Not perfect. Not the way they were a year ago, or 2 years ago, but 100 % better than they were this summer. He is home every night, and we talk every night. Other stuff .... present and accounted for.

Still working through things? Yes, definitely. Past crisis stage? I think so. Moving positively? Yes.

Asked if I wanted to go see *certain concert act* and I said "no" ... he said "then I probably won't go, either, it wouldn't be fun without you."

Sooooo.

:)

Great thinks are looking up for u!!!

SeriouslyChic · Oct 5th, 2008, 11:45 PM

umm.... YAY!!!

Thanks for the update. So glad to hear things are looking up and that your marriage and family are okay.

bisousx · Oct 6th, 2008, 03:58 AM

I am so glad things are going well for you!!

amber11 · Oct 6th, 2008, 04:59 AM

yay! im so happy things are turning up for you and thanks for the update!

rubylola · Oct 6th, 2008, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KWittman

Asked if I wanted to go see *certain concert act* and I said "no" ... he said "then I probably won't go, either, it wouldn't be fun without you."

Sooooo.

:)

This is a massive improvement- I am so pleased things are looking positive for you and the crisis seems to be passing

Allisonfaye · Oct 6th, 2008, 09:27 AM

That's great news. I hope it all works out for you. :)

twinkle.tink · Oct 6th, 2008, 11:15 AM

So glad things are getting better :)

Did you stop seeing the psychic?

illinirdhd · Oct 6th, 2008, 01:46 PM

I just love happy updates!

chodessa · Oct 6th, 2008, 02:31 PM

Thanks for that update...hope things keep getting better and better...
It's so true when they say...What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger...I am living proof of that myself..

Zophie · Oct 6th, 2008, 03:41 PM

I'm glad you seem to be doing better. Don't compare yourself to John Edward's wife. He's full of crap if you ask me and any woman who would stay with him is an idiot.

keodi · Oct 6th, 2008, 05:40 PM

That's great news! I'm glad things are looking on the up and up.

greenpixie · Oct 6th, 2008, 05:57 PM

That is great to hear. I am so glad things seem to be turning around for you two!

Try to still have a bit of "me" time here and there - I think keeping a sense of self is the best way to keep yourself attractive, interesting, and most of all, sane and secure in yourself. Otherwise, keep up your postivie steps!

Oct 5th, 2008, 10:23 PM	#1
KWittman Things Are Good Location: Great Falls, MT	Husband Mid-Life Crisis Update OK, here goes! Thank you to everyone who responded on the previous threads. I was reading. I just really wanted to give things time to fix themselves in my life, if you know what I mean. Otherwise I would have been doing something which, although it might not have contributed to the problem (connection with my husband), certainly did not help to continue to solve it. There is no better way to say it. My husband and I have had a pretty disruptive year. Parts of it have been crappy. There have been times this summer when, as I posted, I cried. I can't remember crying like that since I was, like, 20 years old. And, I was drunk half of those times. I just can't remember being so upset in recent times as when I thought, oh my Good Lord, my husband is leaving me, and I can't do a think about it. Like, the Rielle Hunter, John Edwards, Elizabeth Edwards thing. I picture myself as Elizabeth Edwards. The world agrees with me, my husband thinks otherwise. How does the bottom of your world still not drop out under these circumstances? Holy God. And I am not even close to the accomplished, educated person and dedicated spouse that is Elizabeth Edwards. That she went on to have 2 children after losing her first son, still just sucks the life-wind out of me. Anyway, I have tried to continue to approach everything with the half-and-half approach. He has curtailed the "himself" activities, and I have increased the "we" activities. I have eliminated the "me" activities unless it involves the kids or things that benefit our family (volunteer stuff for our schools, the kids' sports). Things have been waaaay better. Not perfect. Not the way they were a year ago, or 2 years ago, but 100 % better than they were this summer. He is home every night, and we talk every night. Other stuff .... present and accounted for. Still working through things? Yes, definitely. Past crisis stage? I think so. Moving positively? Yes. Asked if I wanted to go see certain concert act and I said "no" ... he said "then I probably won't go, either, it wouldn't be fun without you." Sooooo. :)

Oct 5th, 2008, 10:38 PM	#2
ilovepinkhearts hi, i'm danielle Location: Texas	i'm so happy things are looking up for you and him. and i hope that things continue to improve. just remember there will be bad times that arise from time to time...all you can do is communicate and try to deal with things the best that you can. i wish you both all the best __________________

Oct 5th, 2008, 10:40 PM	#3
scarlett_2005 Crazy 4 LV Location: USA	Glad to hear things are going better for you two. Best of luck to the both of you! __________________

Oct 5th, 2008, 11:45 PM	#5
SeriouslyChic Really a Silly Girl	umm.... YAY!!! Thanks for the update. So glad to hear things are looking up and that your marriage and family are okay. __________________ "On really romantic nights of self, I go salsa dancing with my confusion."

Oct 6th, 2008, 03:58 AM	#6
bisousx Chanel girl Location: Orange County	I am so glad things are going well for you!! __________________ Lusting after: Hermes Fuchsia Ostrich Kelly Hermes Orange Birkin 30 Chanel Summer Nights flap Chanel Blush Patent flap

Oct 6th, 2008, 04:59 AM	#7
amber11 Member	yay! im so happy things are turning up for you and thanks for the update!

Oct 6th, 2008, 09:27 AM	#9
Allisonfaye Member	That's great news. I hope it all works out for you. :) __________________ Ink City, tomato first, white first, violet first, black flat brass first, rouge vif city, white city.

Oct 6th, 2008, 11:15 AM	#10
twinkle.tink Pixie Duster Location: Just call me Tink ;)	So glad things are getting better :) Did you stop seeing the psychic? __________________

Oct 6th, 2008, 01:46 PM	#11
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Location: Las Vegas, NV	I just love happy updates! __________________

Oct 6th, 2008, 02:31 PM	#12
chodessa Hot Smot and Humble	Thanks for that update...hope things keep getting better and better... It's so true when they say...What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger...I am living proof of that myself.. __________________ SHE'S A COCO-NUT NOW!! CLICK MY AVATAR FOR THE CUTEST DOG PICS EVER!!

Oct 6th, 2008, 03:41 PM	#13
Zophie I <3 my Maltese! Location: New Orleans, LA	I'm glad you seem to be doing better. Don't compare yourself to John Edward's wife. He's full of crap if you ask me and any woman who would stay with him is an idiot. __________________

Oct 6th, 2008, 05:40 PM	#14
keodi Sofa King Done.... Location: ANON	That's great news! I'm glad things are looking on the up and up. __________________ NOTE TO SELF: SELF, YOU WILL NOT SPEND UNNECESSARILY!!!

Oct 6th, 2008, 05:57 PM	#15
greenpixie Coach & Ignes Mod Location: sunny CA	That is great to hear. I am so glad things seem to be turning around for you two! Try to still have a bit of "me" time here and there - I think keeping a sense of self is the best way to keep yourself attractive, interesting, and most of all, sane and secure in yourself. Otherwise, keep up your postivie steps! __________________ GP is banned!