How old were you when you had it?

helium · Dec 23rd, 2007, 07:09 AM

Ok I realise this is a controversial issue, and that it's probably inappropriate so mods, please delete if so.

I was on the Jamie Lynn-Spears is pregnant thread when I suddenly realised two things. One is that I uh... was probably before average, despite always thinking I actually waited, and the second thing is I was quite surprised by was how everyone seemed to think it was shocking that she was in fact having sex at the age of 16.

So I was wondering, under what circumstances do you think sex should occur? For me it is if two people really do love each other, because for me it is a very special thing. I absolutely hate the idea of casual sex. But is it because people don't believe sixteen year olds could possibly fall in love, and that is why they simply won't accept teen sex?

Also, you do not have to write it in your post because it's such a sensitive topic.

paintednightsky · Dec 23rd, 2007, 09:59 AM

I was 18. Honestly, I myself think 16 years olds aren't mature enough. It's all just emotion and I don't think 16 year olds are capable of a mature relationship nonetheless a LASTING one at that age, and no doubt, sooner along the line spears and her guy will break up when he decides he has enough money from her. I kinda even regret choices I made after 18 because I feel I didn't full understand it. Just proof of Lynn becoming pregnant, shows she WAS NOT careful enough in the first place. If teens were mature enough to have sex, they would not be having all of these kids! And I'm in my early 20's and feel this way.

So no doubt, when I have kids, I won't let them have a bf till probably after 17 and when they have him over, the door WILL be open and they will have strict curfews and won't be going over the other's house unless I talk to their mom first! The same applies if I have a boy

Don't need kids becoming pregnant.

ChiChi143 · Dec 23rd, 2007, 10:12 AM

I'll be honest. I was 15 going on 16 (1 month away from being 16). At first I was planning on waiting for marriage, but that all change when I met my bf. We were both 15 and fell in love so we lost our virginity to each other. We were always mature for our age and handled the relationship very well. Yes, we were young but what happened happened and I don't regret it. Many people doubted that we were truly in love because of our age but I lucked out and it was (and still is) true love. It's now 7 years later and we're still together and going strong and currently looking for an engagement ring! I think sex should only occur when you're in love. Sex is something serious and special to me. I don't believe in casual sex.

LOREBUNDE · Dec 23rd, 2007, 10:29 AM

*it* happened a week after my 17th b-day. It was pretty much date rape. I went to the drive-in with one of the girls in the neighborhood along with her older brother and his friend. We drank beer and made out a lot then later ended up at a nearby lake, continued to make out and it happened. I did say no a lot but it didn't stop. Anyway, being 17 I then thought I was "in love"! I then later became very promiscious (can't believe I am telling all). I guess I thought sex = love? I was a very mixed up young woman and went thru a lot when I finally realized that none of these guys really like me but were just using me! I am now at the point in my life that I feel I am at peace (though sometimes I feel like all guys are jerks)

kristencouture · Dec 23rd, 2007, 10:46 AM

I was 17, it was 20 days away from my 18th. I'm still not sure that I was ready at that time or with that person.

jenny70 · Dec 23rd, 2007, 10:55 AM

I was 17, that was not the first time I had the "opportunity" When I was a freshman in high school I dated a junior, looking back I still can't believe that my parents let me do this, anyway, he wanted me to but I did not want to with him and it definately didn't feel right. A year or so later, I met my first love and it was both our "first time" and felt completely right. I don't regret it at all, in fact after all these years I still think about him from time to time.

I just think you know when it is right for you.

fiatflux · Dec 23rd, 2007, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiChi143

I'll be honest. I was 15 going on 16 (1 month away from being 16). At first I was planning on waiting for marriage, but that all change when I met my bf. We were both 15 and fell in love so we lost our virginity to each other. We were always mature for our age and handled the relationship very well. Yes, we were young but what happened happened and I don't regret it. Many people doubted that we were truly in love because of our age but I lucked out and it was (and still is) true love. It's now 7 years later and we're still together and going strong and currently looking for an engagement ring! I think sex should only occur when you're in love. Sex is something serious and special to me. I don't believe in casual sex.

Just curious...did you use birth control the first time (and subsequent times)? Did you involve your parents at all in your decision at the time?

I didn't have sex til age 21...mostly because I didn't have the opportunity til then. I was obese most of my teen life. Lost all the weight at around age 20...guys got interested in me for the first time.

ChiChi143 · Dec 23rd, 2007, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fiatflux

Just curious...did you use birth control the first time (and subsequent times)? Did you involve your parents at all in your decision at the time?

I was on birth control 1 year before I had sex due to menstrual issues. My mom and I are best friends so I did speak to her about sex before but didn't tell her that I was planning on having sex or that I had sex until after it happened. She was worried/concerned that I may have made the wrong decision because of my age and because he was my first love...everyone thought it was just "puppy love". I'm thankful that it wasn't just "puppy love" and that we're still together now.

fiatflux · Dec 23rd, 2007, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paintednightsky

So no doubt, when I have kids, I won't let them have a bf till probably after 17 and when they have him over, the door WILL be open and they will have strict curfews and won't be going over the other's house unless I talk to their mom first! The same applies if I have a boy

Don't need kids becoming pregnant.

Good luck with that approach...it may be the exact recipe for teen pregnancy.

The problem is that where there's a will, there's a way...so it may be better to keep the lines of communication open regarding dating & sex. Also emphasizing the importance of birth control and leaving the door open for obtaining birth control is important.

fiatflux · Dec 23rd, 2007, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiChi143

I was on birth control 1 year before I had sex due to menstrual issues. My mom and I are best friends so I did speak to her about sex before but didn't tell her that I was planning on having sex or that I had sex until after it happened. She was worried/concerned that I may have made the wrong decision because of my age and because he was my first love...everyone thought it was just "puppy love". I'm thankful that it wasn't just "puppy love" and that we're still together now.

Even if he hadn't turned out to be "the one," would it have been so bad? I am sure there are a lot of girls/guys in that situation who DON'T end up staying together. It's clear you had a good relationship w/your Mom and it's wonderful that you were able to tell her, even if it *was* after the fact. If you hadn't been on BC for menstrual problems, do you think you guys would have been conscientious enough to make sure you were protected somehow? I guess that's my biggest concern in raising my daughter...I don't want to encourage her to have sex...but I also want her to be educated and take precautions if she does.

ImASadGiraffe · Dec 23rd, 2007, 11:57 AM

I was 17, it was with my boyfriend at the time, and neither of us was mature enough to handle it. We broke up before I headed off to college and while we actually are great friends now, I should have waited until I was actually in love. I didn't have sex again until years later when I met my now husband.

ChiChi143 · Dec 23rd, 2007, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fiatflux

Even if he hadn't turned out to be "the one," would it have been so bad? I am sure there are a lot of girls/guys in that situation who DON'T end up staying together. It's clear you had a good relationship w/your Mom and it's wonderful that you were able to tell her, even if it *was* after the fact. If you hadn't been on BC for menstrual problems, do you think you guys would have been conscientious enough to make sure you were protected somehow? I guess that's my biggest concern in raising my daughter...I don't want to encourage her to have sex...but I also want her to be educated and take precautions if she does.

If he wasn't "the one", I would be upset. I wanted to have only 1 sex partner in my lifetime. If I wasn't on BC, I wouldn't have had sex until I was protected. I wanted to be as safe as possible to prevent a pregnancy & std's. If I wasn't on BC I then would have told my mom I was planning on having sex and had her bring me to the doctors to be put on BC. My mom always spoke to me about the importance of protecting myself when it came to sex and it worked. I also had a friend that was 12 and had a baby and I didn't want that to happen to me. I don't have any kids yet, but I know when I do, my lines of communication will be open when it comes to anything and everything so I can protect/help them as much as I can.

shasha17a · Dec 23rd, 2007, 01:15 PM

I had just turned 18 and was about to go to college. Totally regret the guy I lost it to though.

missmustard · Dec 23rd, 2007, 01:22 PM

I was 19 and I definitely don't think I was prepared. We used a condom but nevertheless, I now look back and think I should've waited. I know now I should listen to my mother more often.

dusty paws · Dec 23rd, 2007, 02:01 PM

I was 19 - we had been together for over a year and had talked about birth control and all of that. I had been on the pill for over year as a precaution. I think it was at the right time in our relationship - we had previously talked about it and were on the same page.

Plus it happened in Hawaii and was all sort of romanticy crap like they say it should be.

View Poll Results: When did you first have sex?
Under/ was 16	151	28.76%
17 to 20	266	50.67%
21 to 25	87	16.57%
26 to 30	13	2.48%
31 upwards	8	1.52%
Voters: 525. You may not vote on this poll

Dec 23rd, 2007, 07:09 AM	#1
helium Member	*How old were you when you had it?* Ok I realise this is a controversial issue, and that it's probably inappropriate so mods, please delete if so. I was on the Jamie Lynn-Spears is pregnant thread when I suddenly realised two things. One is that I uh... was probably before average, despite always thinking I actually waited, and the second thing is I was quite surprised by was how everyone seemed to think it was shocking that she was in fact having sex at the age of 16. So I was wondering, under what circumstances do you think sex should occur? For me it is if two people really do love each other, because for me it is a very special thing. I absolutely hate the idea of casual sex. But is it because people don't believe sixteen year olds could possibly fall in love, and that is why they simply won't accept teen sex? Also, you do not have to write it in your post because it's such a sensitive topic. Last edited by helium; Dec 23rd, 2007 at 07:12 AM.

Dec 23rd, 2007, 09:59 AM	#2
paintednightsky Member	*Re: How old were you when you had it?* I was 18. Honestly, I myself think 16 years olds aren't mature enough. It's all just emotion and I don't think 16 year olds are capable of a mature relationship nonetheless a LASTING one at that age, and no doubt, sooner along the line spears and her guy will break up when he decides he has enough money from her. I kinda even regret choices I made after 18 because I feel I didn't full understand it. Just proof of Lynn becoming pregnant, shows she WAS NOT careful enough in the first place. If teens were mature enough to have sex, they would not be having all of these kids! And I'm in my early 20's and feel this way. So no doubt, when I have kids, I won't let them have a bf till probably after 17 and when they have him over, the door WILL be open and they will have strict curfews and won't be going over the other's house unless I talk to their mom first! The same applies if I have a boy Don't need kids becoming pregnant.

Dec 23rd, 2007, 10:12 AM	#3
ChiChi143 ♥ ChiChi and Lola ♥ Location: NY	*Re: How old were you when you had it?* I'll be honest. I was 15 going on 16 (1 month away from being 16). At first I was planning on waiting for marriage, but that all change when I met my bf. We were both 15 and fell in love so we lost our virginity to each other. We were always mature for our age and handled the relationship very well. Yes, we were young but what happened happened and I don't regret it. Many people doubted that we were truly in love because of our age but I lucked out and it was (and still is) true love. It's now 7 years later and we're still together and going strong and currently looking for an engagement ring! I think sex should only occur when you're in love. Sex is something serious and special to me. I don't believe in casual sex. __________________ ChiChi & Lola

Dec 23rd, 2007, 10:29 AM	#4
LOREBUNDE Member Location: Rhode Island	*Re: How old were you when you had it?* it happened a week after my 17th b-day. It was pretty much date rape. I went to the drive-in with one of the girls in the neighborhood along with her older brother and his friend. We drank beer and made out a lot then later ended up at a nearby lake, continued to make out and it happened. I did say no a lot but it didn't stop. Anyway, being 17 I then thought I was "in love"! I then later became very promiscious (can't believe I am telling all). I guess I thought sex = love? I was a very mixed up young woman and went thru a lot when I finally realized that none of these guys really like me but were just using me! I am now at the point in my life that I feel I am at peace (though sometimes I feel like all guys are jerks)

Dec 23rd, 2007, 10:46 AM	#5
kristencouture Kristen Location: Philadelphia area	*Re: How old were you when you had it?* I was 17, it was 20 days away from my 18th. I'm still not sure that I was ready at that time or with that person.

Dec 23rd, 2007, 10:55 AM	#6
jenny70 Member	*Re: How old were you when you had it?* I was 17, that was not the first time I had the "opportunity" When I was a freshman in high school I dated a junior, looking back I still can't believe that my parents let me do this, anyway, he wanted me to but I did not want to with him and it definately didn't feel right. A year or so later, I met my first love and it was both our "first time" and felt completely right. I don't regret it at all, in fact after all these years I still think about him from time to time. I just think you know when it is right for you.

Dec 23rd, 2007, 11:57 AM	#11
ImASadGiraffe Relax... Location: IL	*Re: How old were you when you had it?* I was 17, it was with my boyfriend at the time, and neither of us was mature enough to handle it. We broke up before I headed off to college and while we actually are great friends now, I should have waited until I was actually in love. I didn't have sex again until years later when I met my now husband. __________________

Dec 23rd, 2007, 01:15 PM	#13
shasha17a Now its a necklace.. Location: Hermosa Beach	*Re: How old were you when you had it?* I had just turned 18 and was about to go to college. Totally regret the guy I lost it to though.

Dec 23rd, 2007, 01:22 PM	#14
missmustard Prima Donna Assoluta Location: Monterrey, Mexico	*Re: How old were you when you had it?* I was 19 and I definitely don't think I was prepared. We used a condom but nevertheless, I now look back and think I should've waited. I know now I should listen to my mother more often. __________________

Dec 23rd, 2007, 02:01 PM	#15
dusty paws Vuitton on the brain Location: RAOKville!	*Re: How old were you when you had it?* I was 19 - we had been together for over a year and had talked about birth control and all of that. I had been on the pill for over year as a precaution. I think it was at the right time in our relationship - we had previously talked about it and were on the same page. Plus it happened in Hawaii and was all sort of romanticy crap like they say it should be. __________________ laura's teeny wishlist: [] mono french purse [] trevi pm [] seleya pm [] mono cles Laura and my babies: http://www.dustypaws.com My blog: http://makeupandpearls.blogspot.com/

How old were you when you had *it*?

How old were you when you had it?