[shoppingisme]

is there ever a point when an age gap is too much?
i'm only talking about legal dating age, but more specifically, women in their 20's and up.

so how old is too old or is there ever a too old?

say a 25 yr old woman and 90 yr old man?

according to statistics, men die on average 7 years before women do. so, would you marry someone who has anywhere from 1-10 years left as in the above situation? or would you want to maximize your time with your man as much as possible and try to marry someone closer in age?

of course young men die too, but i'm only asking about men who are significantly older.

what about having kids with a man that's already 15-20+ years older than you? does it really not matter?

say you want kids at 35 your man is now 60 and by the time the kids are 10 he is 70. should/can that ever matter or cause problems?

yes, you're only as "old as you feel", but we also enter differnt stages of our lives at different times which could cause major conflict.

i'm truly interested in what the others have to say.
is there ever a thing as too old?

[bellafleur]

Ideally, you can't help who you fall in love with, regardless of their age. Practically though, a huge age difference poses problems. My parents are 8 years apart and have been married for 40+ years. My ex's parents were 10 years apart and married for 30. That kind of age difference can certainly work. But one of my best friends' fathers has gone through oh, I think 3 wives now who were more than 25 years his junior. They were just a few years older than my friend, which made her feel ridiculous. And they didn't last, obviously. I think it's rare that love like that is true, but do I think it's possible? Yes, it's possible.

[aliburke84]

Uh. Well. I think a 25 year old and a 90 year old is too much of a difference, and it's also just gross.

But I had a very dear friend from high school who was never overly religious but decided to go to a small Christian college. She started changing a lot, and even changed her religion from Catholic (which her family was) to some smaller sect of Christianity. Anyway, she had had this boyfriend from the time we were Sophomores in HS to Juniors in College. She was in love with him and obsessed with him at the same time. She could hardly talk about anythign else. He changed his life for her, stopped drinking, joined the Christian groups at his college, etc. She was a virgin and so was he consequently, because she was waiting for marriage. She started babysitting for her theology professor's 5 children while his wife was dying of cancer. She asked us (her friends) to pray for this woman every single day. When she died, my friend and her professor remained close....and yes...started dating. He was 42, she was 21. She broke up with her beloved boyfriend (or so it seemed) and her and her professor were engaged almost immediately. She dropped out of college and they actually bumped the wedding up 7 months from when it was supposed to be because "the children needed a mother"

So...basically...this guy scored a 21 year old virgin hottie (yes, she's gorgeous to top it off)to mother his 5 children. AND the oldest kid is 14. Ugh...yeah I GUESS she really loves him and vice versa, but it seems really wrong to me. Especially since she is completely different now and never talks to her friends from home anymore. Seems like he really scored if you ask me.

[cooper1]

My husband and I are 11 yrs apart in age.
I never think about the age difference at all!

...whatever works, ya know?

[Bag Fetish]

Age is a number, if you let it bother you it will. There is a 16 yr age difference between my s/o and myself. At first it seems odd and I thought there we be issues but things have worked out great. We have been together for 7 yrs now and things are wonderful.

[illinirdhd]

If one of the people is under 25, then I think 3-5 years is the max age gap. But if both people are over 25 or 30, I think what matters is common interests and common goals.

[BTBF]

Originally Posted by shoppingisme

so how old is too old or is there ever a too old?

say a 25 yr old woman and 90 yr old man?

That's way way...too old.

25 with a 50 years old is old.

But for me, older than your dad is too old.

[Aslan]

Originally Posted by BTBF

25 with a 50 years old is old.

LOL, I'm 23 and my fiancee is 49.

We plan on having a (1) child together. We have discussed his age and what it means for our future. I am not blind, and I know that it will be tough when his age will start to physically task him. I know that I cannot foresee exactly how it would be (how can I at this point?), but I love him and for him I'll make the plunge.

[OneSixty]

All I know is I hope I can bag a hot 25-year-old guy when I am 60.

[natalie78]

Six year age gap between me & my DH. A few of my friends and coworkers made comments about it, but I just blew them off. We tease each other about it. I like to point out that when he joined the Army and went to Desert Storm, I was on the 7th grade.

[lovinalotofbags]

As long as they are not near my parents age.

[Zophie]

I don't think it matters as long as the people in the relationship are happy. For some reason I tend to find guys around 50 the most appealing and I'm 36. That doesn't mean I wouldn't date younger or older, but that's just my general natural preference I guess you could say. I don't want children though so I'm more interested in guys who have already had all the children they want.

[Vegas Long Legs]

^^^ and men around 50 would love to date you! Nothing wrong with 14 years.

One of my old neighbors was 25 when she married her DH who was 53. Now she's 55 & he's 83. Cause of his health, its like she's his nurse now. I feel for her & him but she doesn't seem to mind.

When I was 25, someone 30 I thought was too old for me. Can't imagine dating someone my fathers age. But then again I had a dad. Maybe it would appeal to someone who doesn't have a father.

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by Vegas Long Legs

^^^ and men around 50 would love to date you! Nothing wrong with 14 years.

One of my old neighbors was 25 when she married her DH who was 53. Now she's 55 & he's 83. Cause of his health, its like she's his nurse now. I feel for her & him but she doesn't seem to mind.

When I was 25, someone 30 I thought was too old for me. Can't imagine dating someone my fathers age. But then again I had a dad. Maybe it would appeal to someone who doesn't have a father.

That's cool that they are still together though. I guess you take a gamble when you marry someone much older that they will be in poor health and you'll have to take care of them, but then you take a big gamble when you get married, period. And anyone could be struck ill at a young age too. You just never know. And I've known men in their 70s or 80s that were still going strong with no real health problems.

[siworae]

i don't know... the biggest age difference for me was about 8 years apart... except when i look back, i was too young. i was 19, a freshman in college, and he was a 27 year old, getting his phD in psychology. it didn't last long, but sometimes i think that had we met later in life, things would have been different... no regrets, though.

i am almost 27, and age isn't really an issue... i tend to find myself attracted to men closer to my age, though.