How long would you wait for your bf to come back?

[jackie100]

Say for example if you got in a fight with a bf and he totally "disappeared", meaning never returns your phone calls, ignores all mail you send him, doesn't return any of your messages and you KNOW 100 percent that he is ok and alive and received all your messages, calls, letters, but is choosing to ignore you, how long would you wait for him to "come back" if ever? Also, assume he moved recently so you're not able to drive over to his house to confront him about it and ask him what's going on.

It's probably his way of dumping the girl and it's probably easier for him this way because
he doesn't have to deal with conflict, but if you've been together for 2 years, how long would you "wait" for him, IN CASE he MIGHT come back? And when I say "wait" I also mean not talk to any guys or date anyone at all, period.

6 months? Is that good? Or indefinitely? lol

[lv lover steph]

i wouldn't wait at all... i think life is way too short. if something is meant to be, it will be. but there is no point in wasting time (or part of your life) for someone to decide you might be the right one and come back. just mho but i feel pretty strongly about it.

good luck!

[dallas]

I wouldn't wait. I would stop calling him and get on with my life. He obviously does not want to speak or have any contact at this time, so I would respect that.

[Bubble Girl]

I'd write him a letter so I could release the hurt and anger from within myself. I may never see him or know that he read the letter but it would make me feel better. I would say at the end of it that I was letting him go. Obviously he is too weak to face up and be honest about the reasons he's not contacting you.

After you send the letter, tell yourself unequivocally that you are moving on with all aspects of your life, and do just that.

Life definitely is too short to waste time waiting for someone who is not displaying basic human respect.

[jackie100]

Yes, but how long would you wait BEFORE you decided that he doesn't want any contact with you? Before you are convinced that he doesn't want to call you back? An day after you called, a week? What time frame?

[wordpast]

If some guy was choosing to ignore me for a month, six months, he's doesn't really care about me. I'm not waiting. Period.

[dallas]

I think he's already made it pretty clear that he doesn't want any contact...

[omgsweet]

You shouldnt wait for ANY guy. Esp if its been months. If he didnt contact me for 2 days straight I'd be done. If he called after that, he better have been in a coma.

[jackie100]

Originally Posted by dallas

I think he's already made it pretty clear that he doesn't want any contact...

Yea, but my bf has done this before but has always come back though, know what I mean? We had broken up probably lots and lots of times but he always comes back. This is just the longest period of time or break so far without any contact.

And before anyone says that I'm "immature" or "must be young" (like people have done in my other relationship posts) let me say that I'm 29 now and will be turning 30 soon.

[queenvictoria2]

Originally Posted by jackie100

Yea, but my bf has done this before but has always come back though, know what I mean? We had broken up probably lots and lots of times but he always comes back. This is just the longest period of time or break so far without any contact. And before anyone says that I'm "immature" or "must be young" (like people have done in my other relationship posts) let me say that I'm 29 now and will be turning 30 soon.

If you are almost 30, that makes it even worse, please do not waste any more of your life on him. One more SECOND would be too long to wait.

[Bubble Girl]

It sounds like a toxic relationship when you have to wait for someone to decide they want to be in it. I would give it a week - probably longer than most, but I would give the person I loved some benefit of the doubt. But by the sounds of things, you've waited way too long way too many times.

Cut him now and find someone you don't have to play these silly games with. He is acting immaturely and selfishly.

[jackie100]

Originally Posted by queenvictoria2

If you are almost 30, that makes it even worse, please do not waste any more of your life on him. One more SECOND would be too long to wait.

Yea, I'm almost 30 but I've only been with 2 guys my entire life. I never dated when I was younger in high school and had bf's so I've never really felt comfortable dating or meeting members from the opposite sex. I can't date new guys because I don't feel comfortable making conversation, eating in front of a guy while being witty while being engaging in conversation etc. I don't feel confident enough with myself. I do already pamper myself with fine lingerie, awesome new clothes, always get my hair done, etc but it doesn't really help my confidence at all no matter how much I spend on myself or what I do.

Even if I wanted to go wild and have a bunch of one night stands I can't because I feel too inhibited inside and not really that comfortable flirting/talking to guys, I don't know why, I'm just really shy (I always was shy when I was younger too). Also, there's no way I would feel comfortable going to a bar or clubbing by myself, girls usually go in groups, I would feel like a total loser going by myself... People are supposed to "grow out" of that awkward shy stage but I never did, I chose to be alone for many years as well in my early 20's (I went through a period where I was celibate for like 6-7 years, no sex, no kissing, no anything), never dating or anything like that so I got used to it.

I also built my world around my bf, everything that I did I did for him, I even supported him financially. I feel like he's "my kid" in a way, I liked taking care of him (and I know he liked it too) and I kind of feel like he's helpless without me. I am not the type of woman who needs a man to take care of her, I'm fine and enjoy taking care of and supporting my guy etc, I prefer it actually. Plus I don't have any female friends really and also I work from home (self-employed) so it's not like I can meet friends at work. I think people usually meet friends or dating partners through work or school and since I work from home, it's really hard meeting people now.

My bf also KNOWS that I built my life around him and that I have no one else, he knows how emotionally dependent I am on him so I can't believe he would leave me like that.

It's just that when I fall for someone I fall for them hard and I FEEL like I would want to wait forever or put up with anything from them; it's probably because not a lot of guys were interested in me when I was younger so when I find someone I really hold on to them, even if it's bad for me.

[Bubble Girl]

I'm having some flashbacks here from a thread a while ago about cheating. I really think you should get some counselling jackie100 to improve your sense of self worth and belief. You sound like an awesome person but you don't believe it yourself, and therefore that is the image you project to others. Please seek some counselling, you won't regret it, believe me.

[omgsweet]

When was the last time you saw or spoke to your BF?

[jackie100]

Originally Posted by omgsweet

When was the last time you saw or spoke to your BF?

Approximately over 2 months ago...