How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?!

chpwhy · Jan 3rd, 2008, 02:56 AM

I recently discovered my BF is not as decent as he claims to be. He visits this sites where u can post pic of urself indecently dressed. I dont understand how anybody(ladies) in the right mind would wanna do that.

Anyway i was P.I.S.S.E.D. off, and he promised he'd not do it again. I wanna trust him. So pls dun anybody say he cant do it.

. I wanna koe am i the minority who feels like this .. R u okay with ur man checking out other gers? On the streets? Online? etc?..

fiatflux · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:00 AM

As long as he's not throwing it in my face or it is not affecting our relationship then I'm fine with it. I totally trust my H, though...if that trust wasn't there...maybe I'd feel different.

madamefifi · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:06 AM

I don't like it if they're obvious about it. Once I was driving my then-BF somewhere when suddenly he said, "Go around the block!" So I did, and as we passed a girl walking down the sidewalk he gawked at her and made a comment about her butt. The funny thing is that particular BF was extremely jealous and possessive, wouldn't even let me hang out with my gay male friend because "he might suddenly turn straight".

When we were dating my now ex-husband used to check out other girls, until I started checking out other guys. He got the message.

But overall I think looking is natural. I just don't want to know about it.

chpwhy · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:07 AM

^^^ I dun koe.. Sometimes its not abt trust?.. U just want to koe his only "interested" in u and u ALONE! KWIM?!

But overall I think looking is natural. I just don't want to know about it. ->

gr8heart · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:24 AM

I am OK with SO checking out girls on his own or around me. He definitely knows I check out other guys

and he doesn't mind, because I would never disrespect him and he would not disrespect me. When we first met, I was a bit worried because of his work and contact with gorgeous women, but I quickly realized that he loved me and only me.

I'm not sure how I would feel if he ever had the time to check out girls online...so I'm glad he doesn't have extra time! (I hope...

)

helium · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:26 AM

No I don't mind at all... we trust each other completely, not matter how hot another woman or another man is. It's not about looks alone for us, we can talk for hours on end and we understand each other like no one else understands me or him. Of course, it's not a blatant 'hey look, that guy is so HOT. Let's sit right here and stare at him!' thing... I just kind of point it out and he points out women too. Kind of like how you comment on dresses in a window or something 'hey a nice dress'. I'm like 'hey a nice guy'.

PinkSuadeSoho · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:31 AM

I have no problem with it. We all look at other people, and to expect your SO to only look in your direction, isn't realistic. He can browse as much as his little heart desires.

sjunky13 · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:34 AM

I think its totally normal, i get worried if my bf doesnt do it. Nothing wrong with looking, I want my bf to think other women are hot and know he has the best one! LOL!

chpwhy · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:35 AM

Looking while the person is passing u is fine its only natural like mad mentioned but to stare or go to the extend of looking them up online is a bit too much for me.. Maybe i should have added "depending on situation" for the poll...

PinkSuadeSoho · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:37 AM

Hmmm. Did you ask why he is hitting up the internet to check out girls?

chpwhy · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:43 AM

^^^ Frankly i was too upset to register wat he said. I think he said he had the "urges". To do wat i dun koe.. Do i wanna koe. I dun koe.. Look?! at skimpily dressed gers?! Blame it on the Male hormones..

helium · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:46 AM

Is it just one person that he keeps looking at or does he just look at girls online? That's a fine line I know... some women just go incredibly berserk at the thought, while I don't really. But then he doesn't browse online just for girls... we kind of ooh and ahh together at Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman though, that's about it.

chpwhy · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:56 AM

He just looks at girls online. Clevage revealing, girls in bikini, girls in suggestive poses.. Too much for my little heart! I feel like tearing his eyes out that day. I cried buckets! Now im almost over it. I try not to think abt it so the "pictures" wont flash in my head. ARGGhhh!!!..

helium · Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chpwhy

He just looks at girls online. Clevage revealing, girls in bikini, girls in suggestive poses.. Too much for my little heart! I feel like tearing his eyes out that day. I cried buckets! Now im almost over it. I try not to think abt it so the "pictures" wont flash in my head. ARGGhhh!!!..

Are you both young? It's definitely not an excuse, at all, but I know that some of my friend's boyfriends do it (we're 18) and well... they don't see anything wrong with it, and my friends don't seem to care at all, but then they're mostly in a casual thing. If this is making you so uncomfortable, personally I just don't think he's right for you. If he's young... i'm reluctant to say he's wrong... I mean... guys just like looking at that sort of stuff. I know a few women go 'but it's like cheating!' but I myself think if he truly loves you, it doesn't matter who he's looking at, you would think you have more to give him than just a hot body so pictures of women are absolutely no threat to the relationship. It's completely superficial, and I like to think my guy likes me out of what I have to offer and not just how good looking I am.

I think i'm in the minority with this one though. But back to the point: if any guy makes you feel this damn uncomfortable in any way, you shouldn't stay together. Obviously you have different stances on something, and trying to change someone else is, to me, one of the worse things you could ever do, and as a result i'd say going out to find someone more suited to you is better. But that's my opinion.

devoted · Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:10 AM

it's weird but my bf has really high standards so he doesn't gawk at the average good looking girl, he does glance a couple of times at stunningly beautiful women and there's not too many of them around.

online porn-style type sites are not appealing to him because he always finds flaws in the women's body, mainly their bad breast jobs....sometimes it annoys me, if those girls are "ugly" to him then what about me? He even think Jessica Alba is unattractive. LOL.

View Poll Results: Are u okay with him checking out other girls?
Yes!! Why Not?!	50	48.54%
No Way!!	53	51.46%
Voters: 103. You may not vote on this poll

Jan 3rd, 2008, 02:56 AM	#1
chpwhy BANNEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Location: The Fine CIty	How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! I recently discovered my BF is not as decent as he claims to be. He visits this sites where u can post pic of urself indecently dressed. I dont understand how anybody(ladies) in the right mind would wanna do that. Anyway i was P.I.S.S.E.D. off, and he promised he'd not do it again. I wanna trust him. So pls dun anybody say he cant do it. . I wanna koe am i the minority who feels like this .. R u okay with ur man checking out other gers? On the streets? Online? etc?.. __________________ *John 3:16* And Oh how wide You open up Your arms, When I need Your love And how far You would come, If ever I was lost And You said that all You feel for me, Is undying love That You showed me through the cross

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:00 AM	#2
fiatflux Member	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! As long as he's not throwing it in my face or it is not affecting our relationship then I'm fine with it. I totally trust my H, though...if that trust wasn't there...maybe I'd feel different.

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:06 AM	#3
madamefifi cat hoarder Location: virginia	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! I don't like it if they're obvious about it. Once I was driving my then-BF somewhere when suddenly he said, "Go around the block!" So I did, and as we passed a girl walking down the sidewalk he gawked at her and made a comment about her butt. The funny thing is that particular BF was extremely jealous and possessive, wouldn't even let me hang out with my gay male friend because "he might suddenly turn straight". When we were dating my now ex-husband used to check out other girls, until I started checking out other guys. He got the message. But overall I think looking is natural. I just don't want to know about it. __________________ Happiness is a home with at least one cat. On a complete EVERYTHING ban until after Christmas!!!! http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/c...faces?siteId=3

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:07 AM	#4
chpwhy BANNEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Location: The Fine CIty	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! ^^^ I dun koe.. Sometimes its not abt trust?.. U just want to koe his only "interested" in u and u ALONE! KWIM?! But overall I think looking is natural. I just don't want to know about it. -> __________________ *John 3:16* And Oh how wide You open up Your arms, When I need Your love And how far You would come, If ever I was lost And You said that all You feel for me, Is undying love That You showed me through the cross Last edited by chpwhy; Jan 3rd, 2008 at 03:10 AM.

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:24 AM	#5
gr8heart -for YSL!	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! I am OK with SO checking out girls on his own or around me. He definitely knows I check out other guys and he doesn't mind, because I would never disrespect him and he would not disrespect me. When we first met, I was a bit worried because of his work and contact with gorgeous women, but I quickly realized that he loved me and only me. I'm not sure how I would feel if he ever had the time to check out girls online...so I'm glad he doesn't have extra time! (I hope...) __________________ ~ Liz

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:26 AM	#6
helium Member	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! No I don't mind at all... we trust each other completely, not matter how hot another woman or another man is. It's not about looks alone for us, we can talk for hours on end and we understand each other like no one else understands me or him. Of course, it's not a blatant 'hey look, that guy is so HOT. Let's sit right here and stare at him!' thing... I just kind of point it out and he points out women too. Kind of like how you comment on dresses in a window or something 'hey a nice dress'. I'm like 'hey a nice guy'.

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:31 AM	#7
PinkSuadeSoho Live the Life U Love Location: British Properties,Beautiful By Nature! Spectacular by SIGHT! :)	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! I have no problem with it. We all look at other people, and to expect your SO to only look in your direction, isn't realistic. He can browse as much as his little heart desires. __________________ Close your eyes to the faults of others What is needed is less: less greed, less fear, less hatred, less prejudice Nothing can make your life more beautiful than perpetual kindness

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:34 AM	#8
sjunky13 send cash!!! Location: really out there man!	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! I think its totally normal, i get worried if my bf doesnt do it. Nothing wrong with looking, I want my bf to think other women are hot and know he has the best one! LOL!

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:35 AM	#9
chpwhy BANNEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Location: The Fine CIty	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! Looking while the person is passing u is fine its only natural like mad mentioned but to stare or go to the extend of looking them up online is a bit too much for me.. Maybe i should have added "depending on situation" for the poll... __________________ *John 3:16* And Oh how wide You open up Your arms, When I need Your love And how far You would come, If ever I was lost And You said that all You feel for me, Is undying love That You showed me through the cross

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:37 AM	#10
PinkSuadeSoho Live the Life U Love Location: British Properties,Beautiful By Nature! Spectacular by SIGHT! :)	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! Hmmm. Did you ask why he is hitting up the internet to check out girls? __________________ Close your eyes to the faults of others What is needed is less: less greed, less fear, less hatred, less prejudice Nothing can make your life more beautiful than perpetual kindness

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:43 AM	#11
chpwhy BANNEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Location: The Fine CIty	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! ^^^ Frankly i was too upset to register wat he said. I think he said he had the "urges". To do wat i dun koe.. Do i wanna koe. I dun koe.. Look?! at skimpily dressed gers?! Blame it on the Male hormones.. __________________ *John 3:16* And Oh how wide You open up Your arms, When I need Your love And how far You would come, If ever I was lost And You said that all You feel for me, Is undying love That You showed me through the cross

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:46 AM	#12
helium Member	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! Is it just one person that he keeps looking at or does he just look at girls online? That's a fine line I know... some women just go incredibly berserk at the thought, while I don't really. But then he doesn't browse online just for girls... we kind of ooh and ahh together at Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman though, that's about it.

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:56 AM	#13
chpwhy BANNEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Location: The Fine CIty	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! He just looks at girls online. Clevage revealing, girls in bikini, girls in suggestive poses.. Too much for my little heart! I feel like tearing his eyes out that day. I cried buckets! Now im almost over it. I try not to think abt it so the "pictures" wont flash in my head. ARGGhhh!!!.. __________________ *John 3:16* And Oh how wide You open up Your arms, When I need Your love And how far You would come, If ever I was lost And You said that all You feel for me, Is undying love That You showed me through the cross

Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:10 AM	#15
devoted Member	Re: How do u feel abt ur SO/DH/BF checking out other girls?! it's weird but my bf has really high standards so he doesn't gawk at the average good looking girl, he does glance a couple of times at stunningly beautiful women and there's not too many of them around. online porn-style type sites are not appealing to him because he always finds flaws in the women's body, mainly their bad breast jobs....sometimes it annoys me, if those girls are "ugly" to him then what about me? He even think Jessica Alba is unattractive. LOL.