He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face...

Jahpson · Dec 18th, 2007, 11:49 AM

This guy and I have known each other for about 3 years. His family is very close with my family (our mothers were childhood buddies back in Barbados)

Anyway we started dating earlier this year for about 2 months, and at the time we didnt really know much about each other. Anyway we had a silly little falling out and havent spoken in months (we both assumed we were still mad at each other, plus he told me he holds grudges so I decided not to bother him) I really liked him alot and missed him dearly.

Well a family friend came up to me at a function and told me that he wanted to speak with me again. So I agreed that would be nice and I got a call from him two days later.

I of course was very happy, because I like this guy ALOT (like on seriousness) Anyway, I was hoping that we could continue where we left off but he told me that he was not interested in being in a relationship right now, and he just wanted to be friends. I was a bit hurt but I agreed.

Meanwhile, I am talking to this other guy, who I like but not as much as I like this guy. In fact, ever since we started talking again, I havent been putting my interest in this other guy as I dont feel for him the way I feel for the ex.

So, anyway I wanted to tell the ex that I wanted to be very clear on where this "friendship" was going and if there is any chance we might be getting back together or whatever. He told me the possibilities are slim so I went ahead and told him that I was talking to another guy, just so if he sees me and him chilling somewhere he wouldnt get confused or whatever. On the phone he was like "ok, thats fine"

WELL! the next morning (actually today) I got 4 text messages from him saying (verbatium):

"Hey Good morning, look I have to be honest what you told me last night about talking to someone else really bothered me. Probably more than it should have. A part of me felt a little upset like you cant do that because your mine. But I realized your not. I do know that we are good for each other. if you want me to give you some space so you can do u then i understand. Like i said, I'm not talking to anyone else other than you"

then he went on, about how he wants to meet with me tommorrow and that I mean a lot to him. what do you think?

compulsivepurse · Dec 18th, 2007, 12:14 PM

It sounds like he's playing mind games.

I suggest getting a definite "yes, we are back together exclusively," or if you don't, go out with both guys and see how it goes.

Jahpson · Dec 18th, 2007, 12:21 PM

^^ go out with both guys! lol ok

never thought of that. lmao

razorbackbelle0 · Dec 18th, 2007, 12:21 PM

Yeah, get a straight up answer from him about where he stands with you. This sounds like mind games to me, I'd proceed with caution. It could be one of those "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you either" things

which is infuriating; I had a guy do that to me in college. Good luck!

candace117 · Dec 18th, 2007, 12:28 PM

Just hang out with whoever you want, he doesn't own you!
I know you cared a lot about your relationship, but he's going to use that to his advantage. Don't be wishy washy with him, be strong and do whatever you damn well please!!!

Swanky Mama Of Three · Dec 18th, 2007, 12:32 PM

just sounds like a boy who doesn't want a girlfriend and wants you to sit around waiting for him.
This looks to me like the beginning of him hoping to string you along

He doesn't want you, but doesn't want you to want anyone else. . . immature and selfish.

paintednightsky · Dec 18th, 2007, 12:45 PM

Don't! Just think what kind of mind games he'll play if you get back together! Something sounds messed up about him. Definitely give other guys a chance. Try not to place too much emotion into a guy that you only went out with 2 months. It just seems like it'd end with so much drama if you went with him and even MORE hurt then you started off with.

Jahpson · Dec 18th, 2007, 12:46 PM

so should I meet with him tommorrow? he wants to talk about it.

Ladybug09 · Dec 18th, 2007, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by compulsivepurse

It sounds like he's playing mind games.

I suggest getting a definite "yes, we are back together exclusively," or if you don't, go out with both guys and see how it goes.

Agreed.

Swanky Mama Of Three · Dec 18th, 2007, 03:33 PM

but did you really want to be w/ a guy like this?
If your best friend was you/in your place, what would you tell her?

Jahpson · Dec 18th, 2007, 03:39 PM

^^ idk, I guess I would tell her not to waste her time

but please believe me that he is such a nice guy!

he is a great listener, VERY supportive and nice.

I was just a little taken a back by the message because I didnt know that he felt that way about me. lol

chinkyi23 · Dec 18th, 2007, 04:05 PM

I agree with what others have said. You asked him about the possibility of the two of you getting back into a relationship and he said the chances were "slim." Now all of a sudden because you are seeing someone else his feelings change? It sounds like he just liked the idea of you wanting him and him being able to say I don't want a relationship now but may want something later. I'd tell him that he made it clear he didn't want something with you and you'd still like to be friends but you are going to continue to talk to other people because you are looking for a relationship (that's if you are

). I'd be curious as to what he says to this. Guys are possesive. They don't want another man to have something they feel is theres.

FlgirlFM · Dec 18th, 2007, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swanky Mama Of Three

just sounds like a boy who doesn't want a girlfriend and wants you to sit around waiting for him.
This looks to me like the beginning of him hoping to string you along

He doesn't want you, but doesn't want you to want anyone else. . . immature and selfish.

Perfectly said.

sarahcantiik · Dec 18th, 2007, 04:29 PM

ITA with what others have said about the mind games.

Speedy · Dec 18th, 2007, 08:06 PM

Ditto on what everyone else said. Take it slow.

Dec 18th, 2007, 11:49 AM	#1
Jahpson Member Location: The Playground	He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... This guy and I have known each other for about 3 years. His family is very close with my family (our mothers were childhood buddies back in Barbados) Anyway we started dating earlier this year for about 2 months, and at the time we didnt really know much about each other. Anyway we had a silly little falling out and havent spoken in months (we both assumed we were still mad at each other, plus he told me he holds grudges so I decided not to bother him) I really liked him alot and missed him dearly. Well a family friend came up to me at a function and told me that he wanted to speak with me again. So I agreed that would be nice and I got a call from him two days later. I of course was very happy, because I like this guy ALOT (like on seriousness) Anyway, I was hoping that we could continue where we left off but he told me that he was not interested in being in a relationship right now, and he just wanted to be friends. I was a bit hurt but I agreed. Meanwhile, I am talking to this other guy, who I like but not as much as I like this guy. In fact, ever since we started talking again, I havent been putting my interest in this other guy as I dont feel for him the way I feel for the ex. So, anyway I wanted to tell the ex that I wanted to be very clear on where this "friendship" was going and if there is any chance we might be getting back together or whatever. He told me the possibilities are slim so I went ahead and told him that I was talking to another guy, just so if he sees me and him chilling somewhere he wouldnt get confused or whatever. On the phone he was like "ok, thats fine" WELL! the next morning (actually today) I got 4 text messages from him saying (verbatium): "Hey Good morning, look I have to be honest what you told me last night about talking to someone else really bothered me. Probably more than it should have. A part of me felt a little upset like you cant do that because your mine. But I realized your not. I do know that we are good for each other. if you want me to give you some space so you can do u then i understand. Like i said, I'm not talking to anyone else other than you" then he went on, about how he wants to meet with me tommorrow and that I mean a lot to him. what do you think? __________________ Amazingly Sophisticated Happy Holidays to all my TPF friends!

Dec 18th, 2007, 12:14 PM	#2
compulsivepurse Member	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... It sounds like he's playing mind games. I suggest getting a definite "yes, we are back together exclusively," or if you don't, go out with both guys and see how it goes.

Dec 18th, 2007, 12:21 PM	#3
Jahpson Member Location: The Playground	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... ^^ go out with both guys! lol ok never thought of that. lmao __________________ Amazingly Sophisticated Happy Holidays to all my TPF friends!

Dec 18th, 2007, 12:21 PM	#4
razorbackbelle0 Sofa King Banned Location: Raiding PBC's closet... shh!	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... Yeah, get a straight up answer from him about where he stands with you. This sounds like mind games to me, I'd proceed with caution. It could be one of those "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you either" things which is infuriating; I had a guy do that to me in college. Good luck!

Dec 18th, 2007, 12:28 PM	#5
candace117 Pirate Trash Location: Hardcorvallis	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... Just hang out with whoever you want, he doesn't own you! I know you cared a lot about your relationship, but he's going to use that to his advantage. Don't be wishy washy with him, be strong and do whatever you damn well please!!! __________________ "With so much drama in the L-B-C, it's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-double G."

Dec 18th, 2007, 12:32 PM	#6
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... just sounds like a boy who doesn't want a girlfriend and wants you to sit around waiting for him. This looks to me like the beginning of him hoping to string you along He doesn't want you, but doesn't want you to want anyone else. . . immature and selfish. __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Dec 18th, 2007, 12:45 PM	#7
paintednightsky Member	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... Don't! Just think what kind of mind games he'll play if you get back together! Something sounds messed up about him. Definitely give other guys a chance. Try not to place too much emotion into a guy that you only went out with 2 months. It just seems like it'd end with so much drama if you went with him and even MORE hurt then you started off with.

Dec 18th, 2007, 12:46 PM	#8
Jahpson Member Location: The Playground	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... so should I meet with him tommorrow? he wants to talk about it. __________________ Amazingly Sophisticated Happy Holidays to all my TPF friends!

Dec 18th, 2007, 03:33 PM	#10
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... but did you really want to be w/ a guy like this? If your best friend was you/in your place, what would you tell her? __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Dec 18th, 2007, 03:39 PM	#11
Jahpson Member Location: The Playground	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... ^^ idk, I guess I would tell her not to waste her time but please believe me that he is such a nice guy! he is a great listener, VERY supportive and nice. I was just a little taken a back by the message because I didnt know that he felt that way about me. lol __________________ Amazingly Sophisticated Happy Holidays to all my TPF friends!

Dec 18th, 2007, 04:05 PM	#12
chinkyi23 TPF Rules! Location: NJ	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... I agree with what others have said. You asked him about the possibility of the two of you getting back into a relationship and he said the chances were "slim." Now all of a sudden because you are seeing someone else his feelings change? It sounds like he just liked the idea of you wanting him and him being able to say I don't want a relationship now but may want something later. I'd tell him that he made it clear he didn't want something with you and you'd still like to be friends but you are going to continue to talk to other people because you are looking for a relationship (that's if you are ). I'd be curious as to what he says to this. Guys are possesive. They don't want another man to have something they feel is theres.

Dec 18th, 2007, 04:29 PM	#14
sarahcantiik Which bag to buy today?	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... ITA with what others have said about the mind games.

Dec 18th, 2007, 08:06 PM	#15
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: He realized that the game he was playing backfired in his face... Ditto on what everyone else said. Take it slow.