Having to spend quality time with someone you want to avoid

[CoffeeAddict]

A few months ago a friend and I had what I consider a "break up". The last time we had a real conversation we ended things on a good note, or so it seemed, but I think we both knew it wasn't ever going to be the same and that it was pretty much useless to put more effort into it.

So we've basically ignored each other since then. We went from texting each other multiple times a day and seeing each other several times per week to not having any contact at all for two months straight.

Unfortunetly I already committed to a class that she is also in, that I signed up for while we were still friends. A mutal friend runs this class so I cannot just drop out because I don't want to offend her. So now I'm stuck in this class with someone I'd rather avoid and while we are perfectly civil to each other, it's very awkward and fake. It makes me dread the class every week.

Does it ever get better? To be perfectly honest I don't WANT to be friends with her after everything that happened. I just want to be able to exist in the same space and not feel like we are both 'trying' so hard to be nice and then escape at the first possible chance.

I will always be seeing her. We are in the same profession and we go to the same seminars, classes, events, etc.

Does anyone that has had a bad break up with someone they considered to be a very good friend and then had to see them on a regular basis afterward have some words of wisdom? Does it just take time?

Is it wrong that I just want to move to siberia so I don't have to deal with this? I know in the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal, but to me, right now, it grates on my last nerve and I just don't know how to best handle it.

[ZippyWho]

It sounds lie you are in college, correct?

If yes, can you sign up for a fun class, like a dance/swim class, that doesn't involve more homework time yet use this as a "I have a next class to go to"?

[CoffeeAddict]

Nope not college, we are in the dog business. We signed up for a training class together since we both got new dogs around the same time. We normally wouldn't take classes, but our mutual friend (who is also in the dog biz) runs them so we figured why not.

This was before the crap hit the fan.

[sammy deer]

Why don't you just be cordial to her and make other friends in those classes. If you get to know the other people in your classes, you won't ever think about her unless you're forced to look at her.

[CoffeeAddict]

A very good suggestion, but there is only one older married couple in the same class. I wish it was fuller, I would be happy to have the distraction.

[yeliab]

Would you be able to attend another dog class that starts a little later?

2 weeks later, etc? Just so that you two don't have to be in the same class?

or help recruit more people in the class... put up posters or flyers at coops or neighborhood dog parks, etc...

Anything!!

[aklein]

I still don't see why you can't drop the class. If it is going to make you that uncomfortable, then your friend that is teaching the class should understand why you are no longer attending her class.
I've had a former friend that I was in a similar situation with. To be honest, I would just drop the class and would bite the bullet on not getting my deposit back.

[shy*violet]

I guess I'm confused why you can't just exist in the same area and just be cordial?

Can you say "hello" and "goodbye" without being weird about it?

[CoffeeAddict]

We are civil to each other. That's not the problem.

I've asked if there's a class on a different day I can switch to, but haven't heard back. I suspect she will not be thrilled to have to rearrange her schedule. But at this point, I don't care that much. Just want to be out of there and not having to dread Thursdays anymore.

[Cornflower Blue]

This is tricky, and is the kind of thing that can happen now and again in a variety of situations and unfortunately leads to the sort of uncomfortableness that you are describing. Luckily I've found these situations don't happen all that often, but when they do it can eat you up.

All you can do is be pleasant, as other posters have said and be professional. But although that enables you to deal with the situation on the outside, it doesn't neccessarily deal with the feelings about it all on the inside. And I have no words of wisdom to give you. I had a similar situation once and it was extremely awkward and that's putting it mildly. The only way I could deal with it emotionally was hardening myself up about it all and telling myself that I wasn't going to let it get to me or put me off my stride - not letting myself be battered and swayed by another person, so to speak. Can't say it completely worked, but it sort of helped a bit....

[little LV lover]

This to shall pass...Although it might feel like an eternity. Lol. I've been in a similar awkward situation, with an old co-worker, M-F, 8-5, working for the same doctor. Ugh. There's not much to do but be polite and pleasant. Just remember why you took the class in the first place. Keep us posted.

[sonnie_skies]

I'd just try to focus on the task at hand. It's a class; learn. Remember why you signed up in the first place. You're not obligated to be false, so just be polite. "Hi, how are you?" should suffice. You probably do it all the time to people you don't even know. Shrug it off and focus on your class. It's a small class, true, but if you let her wreck it then you're already doing yourself a disservice on top of what she's just done to you.