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lightdays · Oct 9th, 2009, 03:08 AM

So I got in a fight with my boyfriend because he told me he told his co-workers what he's going to get me for Christmas. He's going to pay half for my LV Speedy and his co-workers looked down upon that and probably told him to leave me. I asked my boyfriend where he spends his money and he told me none of my f*cking business and that's how the fight got initiated. I never ask him to buy anything nice for me and I just want something nice for Christmas. Is that bad? And he's not dirt broke either. He makes over $1,000 a month. Does anybody's SO buy them purses when they make a little bit over $1,000? Does my boyfriend not care about me because he doesn't buy me anything nice? He keeps telling me he doesn't have enough money. That's BS!!! He says he has $300 for himself for two weeks. You know how much I get a month for allowance? Less than $400!! He can at least save a little bit each time he gets money to get me something nice, but NO he doesn't want to. That means he doesn't care right? How do you other girls get your SO that doesn't make that much to get you something nice? How do I tell my boyfriend calmly that I want something nice once in awhile?

miss mei · Oct 9th, 2009, 03:25 AM

1k a month isn't really very much money at all, especially if he has rent and food as expenses (actually, I might say it's probably not enough!). The issue isn't really whether or not he can afford to buy you something 'nice' though-- it's that you seem to feel entitled to have something nice from him. Gifts should not be obligations-- they should be given from the heart, because the giver WANTS to give them. It seems that you are obligating him to get you something 'nice' (that fits YOUR definition of the word nice), when he might not be able to, might not want to get you anything or might want to get you something else. Status gifts are clearly important to you, and he probably understands that, but if he can't afford them... :/ Anyway-- would you purchase him a gift of equivalent monetary value, or do you expect him to give you more than you give him, just because he's a guy? If you would buy him something of equal value, why not just pay for your whole Speedy yourself, and buy him something small and sentimental? He won't have to spend money on something that he may or may not want to lay it out on and you will still get the bag :)

materialgurl · Oct 9th, 2009, 03:46 AM

Sorry, can I ask how old you are? And how old he is? This post seems like an immature question, no offense. You are asking members if your bf doesn't care about you anymore because he won't pay half the price of your Speedy??

Yes he gets more money than you per month, however he is WORKING for his money while (I assume) you get your $400/month from your parents? Working and getting free money is a whole different story. Maybe he doesn't see the value in paying over $800 for a purse? You can never "make" someone buy you a purse.. it's either they want to or they don't. And your bf doesn't. Why don't you ask yourself this... I'm sure growing up as a child, your parents have said no when you've asked them to purchase something, does that mean they don't care?

Chanel Belle · Oct 9th, 2009, 03:49 AM

My eyes nearly bulged out at your post, OP.

1K a month is NOT alot. Maybe he would rather spend his money on more essential things as compared to a handbag.

You can always save up or get a part-time job and pay for your Speedy yourself.

lightdays · Oct 9th, 2009, 03:50 AM

Yeah he does pay for everything he has and needs to. He said he gets about $300-$200 for himself after all the bills are paid, but he said he wants to save that money in case of an emergency (car troubles, health problems, etc). Totally understandable, but it's just that he can save a little bit like $20-$50 in the $300-$200 for me sometimes if he wants to get me something nice. That's all. That's what I would do, but that's just me. I buy people things when I'm dirt poor. He doesn't. I don't know. That doesn't mean he doesn't care or love me right? I read stories all the time here that women's SOs still buy them purses even when they are really broke and poor. Poorer than my boyfriend so that's why I feel like my boyfriend is being stingy. I feel like I'm making myself excuses when I tell myself that he just wants to save his money for emergencies. I would pay something of equal value for him even though I'm poorer than him. I just wish he would do the same. I was going to get him a video card, a PSP with two games that are not cheap for Christmas. But granted I don't have any expenses I need to pay except for rent, food sometimes and my cell phone bill. I don't know. He tells me he spends money on me when we go out to eat. He treats me 95% of the time when we go out to eat and pays for gas when he comes to see me. Honestly, sometimes I rather him save all that money to get me something nice rather than treating me out to food. The only nice things he got me were Godiva chocolates, a shirt from Nordstroms, and spending about $200 on my birthday. Do you think my boyfriend is being selfish with his money? Personally I think if he saved money for two months, he would be able to afford to buy me a $500 purse.

Brasilian_Babe · Oct 9th, 2009, 03:52 AM

"a little bit over $1,000" a month isn't much. Personally i don't believe anyone should insist or demand that a significant other buy them a designer bag. If you can't afford to buy one for yourself and your bf can't either, then i fail to understand why he should be under any obligation to. $300 for 2 weeks doesn't really go far if he has other expenses such as rent/boarding, electricity/water/cell bills, fuel bills, food, etc etc. And even if if he didn't have those financial commitments, what he chooses to do with his money is his own business. The 2 of your are only dating, he is not fiancially responsible for you nor your expensive handbag desires. I think it is not unreasonable to expect a bf to give you a nice present once in a while, but there is a difference between a nice present and an unreasonably expensive present. So, personally, if i was you, i would bring it down a notch and thank him for the fact that he is actually willing to go halves with you on your Speedy. Or how about you save your montly allowance and buy the Speedy on your own?

GirlFriday · Oct 9th, 2009, 03:53 AM

How much your boyfriend spends has nothing to do with how much he loves you. I would advice him not to buy an LV when he only makes $1000 a month. He's got more important things to spend his money on, like bills.

materialgurl · Oct 9th, 2009, 03:58 AM

Originally Posted by lightdays

Yeah he does pay for everything he has and needs to. He said he gets about $300-$200 for himself after all the bills are paid, but he said he wants to save that money in case of an emergency (car troubles, health problems, etc). Totally understandable, but it's just that he can save a little bit like $20-$50 in the $300-$200 for me sometimes if he wants to get me something nice. That's all. That's what I would do, but that's just me. I buy people things when I'm dirt poor. He doesn't. I don't know. That doesn't mean he doesn't care or love me right? I read stories all the time here that women's SOs still buy them purses even when they are really broke and poor. Poorer than my boyfriend so that's why I feel like my boyfriend is being stingy. I feel like I'm making myself excuses when I tell myself that he just wants to save his money for emergencies. I would pay something of equal value for him even though I'm poorer than him. I just wish he would do the same. I was going to get him a video card, a PSP with two games that are not cheap for Christmas. But granted I don't have any expenses I need to pay except for rent, food sometimes and my cell phone bill. I don't know. He tells me he spends money on me when we go out to eat. He treats me 95% of the time when we go out to eat and pays for gas when he comes to see me. Honestly, sometimes I rather him save all that money to get me something nice rather than treating me out to food. The only nice things he got me were Godiva chocolates, a shirt from Nordstroms, and spending about $200 on my birthday. Do you think my boyfriend is being selfish with his money? Personally I think if he saved money for two months, he would be able to afford to buy me a $500 purse.

No but it seems like YOU are being self-fish by EXPECTING this..

He pays for your food all the time.. he pays for your gas!

Suck it up and buy this purse yourself. So what if other people are getting purses as gifts? If this is what you are expecting from your bf, then maybe you need a new guy. I think you're being very unfair in this situation especially when this poor guy already pays for a lot of stuff for you and him.

lightdays · Oct 9th, 2009, 03:59 AM

Originally Posted by materialgurl

Sorry, can I ask how old you are? And how old he is? This post seems like an immature question, no offense. You are asking members if your bf doesn't care about you anymore because he won't pay half the price of your Speedy??

Yes he gets more money than you per month, however he is WORKING for his money while (I assume) you get your $400/month from your parents? Working and getting free money is a whole different story. Maybe he doesn't see the value in paying over $800 for a purse? You can never "make" someone buy you a purse.. it's either they want to or they don't. And your bf doesn't. Why don't you ask yourself this... I'm sure growing up as a child, your parents have said no when you've asked them to purchase something, does that mean they don't care?

I'm 21 and he's 23. It's fine it is kind of immature because I needed to vent. I'm just envious of other people here that got SOs who give them nice things once in awhile whereas my boyfriend refuses to get me anything nice. We've been together for almost 6 months. No, it's just that he won't invest money to get me something nice once in awhile. Like a small thing every two months.

Of course they care. I'm just saying my boyfriend barely gets me anything nice. Nicest things he ever got me were Godiva chocolates, a shirt from Nordstroms, treating me to restaurants, and spending about $200 on my birthday. I don't know. Is that a lot? :/ We talked tonight and he said he still wants to pay half. He said it's a lot and that he's never spent that much on a person before. He asked a lot of people around and they agreed with him that it's a lot. IMHO, I really don't think that's a lot. An Xbox was around $300. I'm asking him to just pay $345 for the speedy. A lot would be over $600. I come from upper middle class family and environment and this is how my understanding works. A lot of other people's boyfriends go all out of them and they are more broke than my boyfriend.

materialgurl · Oct 9th, 2009, 04:03 AM

^ I understand you are frustrated, but you need to stop comparing yourself with other people. You need to stop being envious of other people because of what their bfs have bought them... you have nothing to gain from being jealous.

And no, $345 is not a lot of money, but it is over 30% of his paycheque. If he doesn't want to buy it, don't make him because it will just make him resent you.

lightdays · Oct 9th, 2009, 04:09 AM

Yeah I know I need to stop being envious of other people. I just feel like my boyfriend doesn't care about me because of this. I told him to not pay for it, but he still insists on paying half for it. I barely ask him to do anything for me. Really the only thing important I want him to do is just be sensitive and sweet to me, but I just want something nice once in awhile such as getting two things that are extravagant per year. He's extremely blunt with his words and emotions and I don't like that and plus he has a temper problem. That is the only thing I really want him to change is not be so blunt or "mean" to me. He gets ticked off when I ask questions that seem like it's pressuring him or pinning him into a corner. Thing is I don't know that I do that. I'm just asking nicely and he took it the wrong way/misunderstood.

dallas · Oct 9th, 2009, 04:10 AM

I have only 3 points to make:

Your boyfriend does not sound selfish, he sounds responsible.

The cost of a gift has nothing to do with how much a person cares.

Your sense of entitlement is astonishing.

lightdays · Oct 9th, 2009, 04:10 AM

Originally Posted by GirlFriday

How much your boyfriend spends has nothing to do with how much he loves you. I would advice him not to buy an LV when he only makes $1000 a month. He's got more important things to spend his money on, like bills.

He makes a little bit over $1000 a month.

Sternchen · Oct 9th, 2009, 04:11 AM

LOL...I am literally laughing out loud at this post. OP...you obviously have no concept of money.. I feel bad for your boyfriend.

Sternchen · Oct 9th, 2009, 04:12 AM

Originally Posted by lightdays

He makes a little bit over $1000 a month.

And to you this is "a lot" of money?

That's 12k a year... PFF....

Oct 9th, 2009, 03:08 AM	#1
lightdays OP Member Joined: Feb 2009 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 250	Got in a fight with my bf - refuses to buy anything nice for me. So I got in a fight with my boyfriend because he told me he told his co-workers what he's going to get me for Christmas. He's going to pay half for my LV Speedy and his co-workers looked down upon that and probably told him to leave me. I asked my boyfriend where he spends his money and he told me none of my f*cking business and that's how the fight got initiated. I never ask him to buy anything nice for me and I just want something nice for Christmas. Is that bad? And he's not dirt broke either. He makes over $1,000 a month. Does anybody's SO buy them purses when they make a little bit over $1,000? Does my boyfriend not care about me because he doesn't buy me anything nice? He keeps telling me he doesn't have enough money. That's BS!!! He says he has $300 for himself for two weeks. You know how much I get a month for allowance? Less than $400!! He can at least save a little bit each time he gets money to get me something nice, but NO he doesn't want to. That means he doesn't care right? How do you other girls get your SO that doesn't make that much to get you something nice? How do I tell my boyfriend calmly that I want something nice once in awhile?

Oct 9th, 2009, 03:25 AM	#2
miss mei Member Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 3	1k a month isn't really very much money at all, especially if he has rent and food as expenses (actually, I might say it's probably not enough!). The issue isn't really whether or not he can afford to buy you something 'nice' though-- it's that you seem to feel entitled to have something nice from him. Gifts should not be obligations-- they should be given from the heart, because the giver WANTS to give them. It seems that you are obligating him to get you something 'nice' (that fits YOUR definition of the word nice), when he might not be able to, might not want to get you anything or might want to get you something else. Status gifts are clearly important to you, and he probably understands that, but if he can't afford them... :/ Anyway-- would you purchase him a gift of equivalent monetary value, or do you expect him to give you more than you give him, just because he's a guy? If you would buy him something of equal value, why not just pay for your whole Speedy yourself, and buy him something small and sentimental? He won't have to spend money on something that he may or may not want to lay it out on and you will still get the bag :)
miss mei Member Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 3

Oct 9th, 2009, 03:46 AM	#3
materialgurl in a material world Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 458	Sorry, can I ask how old you are? And how old he is? This post seems like an immature question, no offense. You are asking members if your bf doesn't care about you anymore because he won't pay half the price of your Speedy?? Yes he gets more money than you per month, however he is WORKING for his money while (I assume) you get your $400/month from your parents? Working and getting free money is a whole different story. Maybe he doesn't see the value in paying over $800 for a purse? You can never "make" someone buy you a purse.. it's either they want to or they don't. And your bf doesn't. Why don't you ask yourself this... I'm sure growing up as a child, your parents have said no when you've asked them to purchase something, does that mean they don't care?
	__________________ Wishlist: [x] Chanel white jumbo Classic cavier flap with s/h [x] Chanel long lamb leather Classic wallet [x] Gucci medium Pelham shoulder bag [x] Louis Vuitton mini lin Speedy [x] Balenciaga black part-time [ ] Chanel black half moon cavier WOC [ ] Louis Vuitton Manhatten GM [ ] Hermes Birkin ultimate dream bag! hopefully by age 30

Oct 9th, 2009, 03:49 AM	#4
Chanel Belle Member Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 232	My eyes nearly bulged out at your post, OP. 1K a month is NOT alot. Maybe he would rather spend his money on more essential things as compared to a handbag. You can always save up or get a part-time job and pay for your Speedy yourself.
Chanel Belle Member Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 232

Oct 9th, 2009, 03:52 AM	#6
Brasilian_Babe A Baby Bags & a Bike Joined: May 2006 Location: Brasil, Portugal, currently in Sydney (Australia) Posts: 1,518	"a little bit over $1,000" a month isn't much. Personally i don't believe anyone should insist or demand that a significant other buy them a designer bag. If you can't afford to buy one for yourself and your bf can't either, then i fail to understand why he should be under any obligation to. $300 for 2 weeks doesn't really go far if he has other expenses such as rent/boarding, electricity/water/cell bills, fuel bills, food, etc etc. And even if if he didn't have those financial commitments, what he chooses to do with his money is his own business. The 2 of your are only dating, he is not fiancially responsible for you nor your expensive handbag desires. I think it is not unreasonable to expect a bf to give you a nice present once in a while, but there is a difference between a nice present and an unreasonably expensive present. So, personally, if i was you, i would bring it down a notch and thank him for the fact that he is actually willing to go halves with you on your Speedy. Or how about you save your montly allowance and buy the Speedy on your own?
	__________________ "I have the simplest taste. I'm always satisfied with the best." - Oscar Wilde My style diary Wishlist: - Gucci satin corset shoes in a size 35 to 36 - Christian Louboutin Anemone in a size 35 - Chanel luxe ligne bowler in salmon pink Please PM me if you see any of these

Oct 9th, 2009, 03:50 AM	#5
lightdays OP Member Joined: Feb 2009 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 250	Yeah he does pay for everything he has and needs to. He said he gets about $300-$200 for himself after all the bills are paid, but he said he wants to save that money in case of an emergency (car troubles, health problems, etc). Totally understandable, but it's just that he can save a little bit like $20-$50 in the $300-$200 for me sometimes if he wants to get me something nice. That's all. That's what I would do, but that's just me. I buy people things when I'm dirt poor. He doesn't. I don't know. That doesn't mean he doesn't care or love me right? I read stories all the time here that women's SOs still buy them purses even when they are really broke and poor. Poorer than my boyfriend so that's why I feel like my boyfriend is being stingy. I feel like I'm making myself excuses when I tell myself that he just wants to save his money for emergencies. I would pay something of equal value for him even though I'm poorer than him. I just wish he would do the same. I was going to get him a video card, a PSP with two games that are not cheap for Christmas. But granted I don't have any expenses I need to pay except for rent, food sometimes and my cell phone bill. I don't know. He tells me he spends money on me when we go out to eat. He treats me 95% of the time when we go out to eat and pays for gas when he comes to see me. Honestly, sometimes I rather him save all that money to get me something nice rather than treating me out to food. The only nice things he got me were Godiva chocolates, a shirt from Nordstroms, and spending about $200 on my birthday. Do you think my boyfriend is being selfish with his money? Personally I think if he saved money for two months, he would be able to afford to buy me a $500 purse.

Oct 9th, 2009, 03:53 AM	#7
GirlFriday Member Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,355	How much your boyfriend spends has nothing to do with how much he loves you. I would advice him not to buy an LV when he only makes $1000 a month. He's got more important things to spend his money on, like bills.
GirlFriday Member Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,355

Oct 9th, 2009, 04:03 AM	#10
materialgurl in a material world Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 458	^ I understand you are frustrated, but you need to stop comparing yourself with other people. You need to stop being envious of other people because of what their bfs have bought them... you have nothing to gain from being jealous. And no, $345 is not a lot of money, but it is over 30% of his paycheque. If he doesn't want to buy it, don't make him because it will just make him resent you.
	__________________ Wishlist: [x] Chanel white jumbo Classic cavier flap with s/h [x] Chanel long lamb leather Classic wallet [x] Gucci medium Pelham shoulder bag [x] Louis Vuitton mini lin Speedy [x] Balenciaga black part-time [ ] Chanel black half moon cavier WOC [ ] Louis Vuitton Manhatten GM [ ] Hermes Birkin ultimate dream bag! hopefully by age 30

Oct 9th, 2009, 04:09 AM	#11
lightdays OP Member Joined: Feb 2009 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 250	Yeah I know I need to stop being envious of other people. I just feel like my boyfriend doesn't care about me because of this. I told him to not pay for it, but he still insists on paying half for it. I barely ask him to do anything for me. Really the only thing important I want him to do is just be sensitive and sweet to me, but I just want something nice once in awhile such as getting two things that are extravagant per year. He's extremely blunt with his words and emotions and I don't like that and plus he has a temper problem. That is the only thing I really want him to change is not be so blunt or "mean" to me. He gets ticked off when I ask questions that seem like it's pressuring him or pinning him into a corner. Thing is I don't know that I do that. I'm just asking nicely and he took it the wrong way/misunderstood.

Oct 9th, 2009, 04:10 AM	#12
dallas Yeah ano Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 4,272	I have only 3 points to make: Your boyfriend does not sound selfish, he sounds responsible. The cost of a gift has nothing to do with how much a person cares. Your sense of entitlement is astonishing.
dallas Yeah ano Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 4,272	__________________ Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Oct 9th, 2009, 04:11 AM	#14
Sternchen Proud mama of 3! Joined: May 2006 Location: Bavaria, Germany Posts: 13,954	LOL...I am literally laughing out loud at this post. OP...you obviously have no concept of money.. I feel bad for your boyfriend.
	__________________ Dear Santa, I have been a very good girl this year and have worked very hard for my family, my school and my job. This year I would like to wish for only one thing: THE CUPCAKE CAR!!! Please and thank you. Love, Melanie

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