Getting Divorced and I feel bad for him??

bubblegum22 · Jul 1st, 2008, 10:23 AM

ok so we are moving back home across the country (both of us although not together) and I feel bad for him! I have all my family but he doesn't have but a few friends and he is going to be all alone. He has made my life miserable (ignoring, etc but no affairs) and now I am feeling guilty...am I insane??

nataliam1976 · Jul 1st, 2008, 10:53 AM

No. He used to be the person you loved so much and cared for, its only natural that you dont hate him and still worry about him. I dont love my ex any more but I wish him all the best and I am still concerned from time to time

~Fabulousity~ · Jul 1st, 2008, 10:54 AM

^^^ I agree...

nataliam1976 · Jul 1st, 2008, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Fabulousity~

^^^ I agree...

bubblegum22 · Jul 1st, 2008, 10:59 AM

Good! I was worried I was losing my mind! I am sure I can't be with him anymore but every once in a while I get feelings like this and they worry me! lol. He is the father of my child and I don't wish anything bad to come to him.

LadyLinda · Jul 1st, 2008, 11:05 AM

It's perfectly natural to feel compassion. You're clearly a sensitive and compassionate person, and your ex has been so very significant in your life. You may even still love him. I still kind of love my ex, even though he treated me horribly in our divorce (vicious to the max), but like you said, he's the father of my children and I married him because I loved him. So yeah, just be glad you can still feel that way. He's still in your life because of your child.

lovinalotofbags · Jul 1st, 2008, 11:07 AM

Yeah, that is another story, you have a child by him, so he will always be part of your life. It is normal to care.

artjen · Jul 1st, 2008, 04:37 PM

It is normal to feel like that. He will be all right and so will you. It will be good to stay on friendly terms because of your child.

illinirdhd · Jul 1st, 2008, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nataliam1976

No. He used to be the person you loved so much and cared for, its only natural that you dont hate him and still worry about him. I dont love my ex any more but I wish him all the best and I am still concerned from time to time

Absolutely right.

merika · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegum22

Good! I was worried I was losing my mind! I am sure I can't be with him anymore but every once in a while I get feelings like this and they worry me! lol. He is the father of my child and I don't wish anything bad to come to him.

Don't worry; it's customary to feel a little guilty/sad/worry. After all you loved him and were concerned for him and you can't expect all those feelings to go away.

Try to turn it in a positive direction since you and he will be in touch because of the child.

exotikittenx · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:49 PM

It just means you are a good person! There is nothing wrong with still showing concern.

rendodan110 · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:54 PM

you could be there for him without being with him. Divorce doesnt mean you have to automatically hate someone. your child will appreciate it if the two of you can be harmonious and help eachother out.

moi et mes sacs · Jul 2nd, 2008, 09:27 AM

It wouldnt be normal not to be concerned for him. After years being married to someone its funny feeling thta you will be together no more. You know you are always at the end of the phone if he needs you. But you mustnt feel you are abandoning him, separating is a mutual decision.

Sternchen · Jul 3rd, 2008, 04:38 PM

No, you're not insane. I think your feelings are completely normal, but please know that this time now is for you and getting your life back in order!

Zophie · Jul 3rd, 2008, 04:57 PM

I felt bad for my ex in FL when I left him, but it still was the right decision. Just because I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with him didn't mean I didn't care. I still care about him and we're still friends but I'd never want to date him again.

Jul 1st, 2008, 10:23 AM	#1
bubblegum22 Member Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 24	Getting Divorced and I feel bad for him?? ok so we are moving back home across the country (both of us although not together) and I feel bad for him! I have all my family but he doesn't have but a few friends and he is going to be all alone. He has made my life miserable (ignoring, etc but no affairs) and now I am feeling guilty...am I insane??

Jul 1st, 2008, 10:53 AM	#2
nataliam1976 Hmmmph Joined: Nov 2006 Location: all around Europe Posts: 8,596	No. He used to be the person you loved so much and cared for, its only natural that you dont hate him and still worry about him. I dont love my ex any more but I wish him all the best and I am still concerned from time to time __________________ "Buy me, Lady" said the frock, "and I will make you into a BEAUTIFUL and WHOLE and COMPLETE human being". "Do not be SILLY", said the Man, " for a frock alone cannot do that". "TRUE" said the Lady. " I shall have the Shoes and the Bag as well".

Jul 1st, 2008, 10:54 AM	#3
~Fabulousity~ Yes we can! Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Creating my life... Posts: 5,399	^^^ I agree... __________________ Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit - Napoleon Hill

Jul 1st, 2008, 11:07 AM	#7
lovinalotofbags Fashion disaster Joined: Mar 2008 Location: Carolinas Posts: 1,614	Yeah, that is another story, you have a child by him, so he will always be part of your life. It is normal to care. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:49 PM	#11
exotikittenx Ooh la la! Joined: Jan 2007 Location: The City of Plain 'n Proper Posts: 3,466	It just means you are a good person! There is nothing wrong with still showing concern. __________________ Please check out my collection! Click here.

Jul 1st, 2008, 10:59 AM	#5
bubblegum22 Member Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 24	Good! I was worried I was losing my mind! I am sure I can't be with him anymore but every once in a while I get feelings like this and they worry me! lol. He is the father of my child and I don't wish anything bad to come to him.

Jul 1st, 2008, 11:05 AM	#6
LadyLinda Member Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 606	It's perfectly natural to feel compassion. You're clearly a sensitive and compassionate person, and your ex has been so very significant in your life. You may even still love him. I still kind of love my ex, even though he treated me horribly in our divorce (vicious to the max), but like you said, he's the father of my children and I married him because I loved him. So yeah, just be glad you can still feel that way. He's still in your life because of your child.

Jul 1st, 2008, 04:37 PM	#8
artjen Young @ Art Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Arizona Posts: 809	It is normal to feel like that. He will be all right and so will you. It will be good to stay on friendly terms because of your child.

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:54 PM	#12
rendodan110 Danielle Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Northern Colorado Posts: 1,668	you could be there for him without being with him. Divorce doesnt mean you have to automatically hate someone. your child will appreciate it if the two of you can be harmonious and help eachother out. __________________ my wishlist violates signature size regulations. add me on myspace.http://www.myspace.com/danielle1972 "Men have forgotten this truth," "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.-Antoine de Saint-Exupery The Little Prince

Jul 2nd, 2008, 09:27 AM	#13
moi et mes sacs Science Geek! Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 4,144	It wouldnt be normal not to be concerned for him. After years being married to someone its funny feeling thta you will be together no more. You know you are always at the end of the phone if he needs you. But you mustnt feel you are abandoning him, separating is a mutual decision. __________________ The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas Linus Pauling

Jul 3rd, 2008, 04:38 PM	#14
Sternchen We're having a boy!! Joined: May 2006 Location: Beauty RAOK Posts: 11,176	No, you're not insane. I think your feelings are completely normal, but please know that this time now is for you and getting your life back in order! __________________ My 2 wonderful girls, Nicole (5) and Julia (1) will be big sisters soon! My pregnancy blog

Jul 3rd, 2008, 04:57 PM	#15
Zophie I <3 my Maltese! Joined: Feb 2007 Location: New Orleans, LA Posts: 6,922	I felt bad for my ex in FL when I left him, but it still was the right decision. Just because I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with him didn't mean I didn't care. I still care about him and we're still friends but I'd never want to date him again. __________________