Friendships.....

Biondina1003 · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:34 PM

Not sure if this should go here, but here it goes.....

Well, I'm out of the nest and moved to a Lovely Apartment in Alexandria, VA with BF.

He is originally from the area, so he has plenty of friends. He's always going out with them, playing basketball ect. NONE, of his friends have girlfriends, so no one for me to hang out with....

I have a great job, and ladies here that I talk to, but they are all married and have children, so theres no shopping days or nights out with them.

I've been here in the area since June of 2007. And It's been very hard for me to make friends. And by friends, I mean someone to shop with, get manis and pedis and watch movies, exercise, ect.

I have friends back home, but their back home.

I feel as though my Boyfriend is starting to get annoyed with me, because I always ask him to go to the mall and talk to him about girly things and kinda be my buddy, but there are just somethings that he can't do that a good "girl" friend can, ( conversation) ..ect.

I've reached out to a couple of ladies on TPF that are in my area, but I'm sure it was weird for them to get an PM from me asking for a friendship... So, no luck there.

Anyways... what should I do? I'm not much of a party person, and I really don't drink. I enjoy shopping, fitness, eating healthy and just relaxing and enjoying life ( geez, sounds like a personals add...haha)

Do any of you ladies feel this way?

berryblondeboys · Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:58 PM

There was JUST a thread on this and LOTS of gals feel this way (scroll down a bit about making friends).

I would say, "Hey let's hang out" as I'm not far from Alexandria, but I'm probably at least a decade older than you and have two kids, so not the best choice for you.

Do you live near downtown Alexandria? maybe finding a place to hang out there and starting up conversations. If you haven't joined a church or something similar, maybe that's good. Take a class or something too, but it is hard and you sound EXACTLY like me when I first moved to Chicago when I got married, drove my DH NUTSO!!! LOL

HubbaWubba · Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:15 PM

How about when you go get a mani/pedi you get friendly with other women there when you go? Compliment them on something or ask what kind of perfume they are wearing then you can maybe see if you have something in common.

aliciamarie · Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:23 PM

I have definitely been experiencing this, too. BF also doesn't know anyone from the area, but I know I'll be like "Hey babe, try this new hand exfoliating cream I bought!" And he'll just look at me weird, so I'll say, "I don't have any girl friends! Please?"

He gets so annoyed with me.

Maybe you could talk to some of your older co-workers and mention your problem and see if they have daughters/nieces/cousins/anything your age? At least then there would be a common ground. I have a hard time making friends and approaching strangers, but I think going to the salon and striking up conversation is a wonderful idea.

Good luck!

Jahpson · Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:24 PM

Im in the same boat, but im so shy.

gillianna · Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:43 PM

Are there any places to hang out like Barnes & Noble with some activities-book club, ect??? I know it can be so hard when you move to a new place. I myself will talk to anyone in any store, ect., so I have made some great friends in my moves. When I first moved to a new house I literally knocked on about 12 doors and said I was having a party and invited the couples that lived there. It was funny because it became a monthly thing with everyone bringing food and even though some of these people lived there for years they did not know each other. Can you post a notice at your apartment for a girls get together. I would think there has to be other people living there your age. I think it is also hard for people to make the first move so maybe you need to try to do it? Is there a apt. manager that can tell you if there are any women your age living there?
I wish you the best. It is always fun to have a few people to hang out with.

Biondina1003 · Jan 3rd, 2008, 05:48 PM

Thanks all for your encouraging words...

You gave me some really good ideas, hopefully I'll be able to apply them.

Pias · Jan 3rd, 2008, 05:55 PM

Well, I don't live in your area. I live in far flung California. My lifestyle is similar to yours and I have similar problem too. It's hard to approach any gal since they might think that I am weird though. If you like, how about a pen-pal.

omgsweet · Jan 3rd, 2008, 06:00 PM

Maybe you could make friends at work? If you dont work, then maybe you could volunteer somewhere and hopefully make a few friends.

Since having a baby, I hardly see my friends. They like to drink and go to loud places...places that I don't feel comfortable taking my baby to. So I kind of know how you feel...

bagnshoofetish · Jan 3rd, 2008, 07:12 PM

I'm a tomboy so if I were you I would end up hanging out with him and his friends! (and every bf I've ever had, thats what I ended up doing). I don't know if this is something you would consider. The gf's I do have are also tomboys so the most girly things we do is go to a day spa. So unless you are comfortable hanging out with the guys, just be patient. as you go along in your work, you will make gf's with common interests. just give it time. thats all I can offer....

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Jan 4th, 2008, 04:43 AM

me too.. i wish there were more people i can make strong friendships with that live near me.. im in CA

jenarae · Jan 4th, 2008, 05:53 AM

I'm open for friends ALL the TIME! I'm in the OC!

chaz · Jan 4th, 2008, 06:45 AM

I feel exactly the same!!! To the extent we are moving back to my 'home' in Manchester.I just can't 'get' with the people round here,I'm regarded with suspicion because of my accent,I try and make freindly jokes with people when I'm shopping or at checkouts etc.Nothing,total closedown.
Since we have visited where we are going to move to a few times,my DH has also seen the difference and understands what its been like for me.I'm sure the isolation I have felt here helped to bring on post natal depression,making the whole thing worse.
As Hubba mentioned why don't you get chatting to someone while you are having beauty treatments?? While you are chatting,just ask are they busy after,as you are loving chatting so much you'd love to go for a coffee??

Its worked for me in the past,but not where I am right now!!!

x joie · Jan 4th, 2008, 08:12 AM

I do understand how you feel. It seems like it is far more difficult for women to strike up friendships with each other than men. I wish you good luck though; at least you have us to talk to!

Do you work out? During the summer when I was back from school and at home with few people to hang out with, I met some people at the gym. Also, I seem to meet a lot of people at coffe shops/starbucks, that kind of joint.. Good luck..

lorihmatthews · Jan 4th, 2008, 01:37 PM

I have made great friends through seeing people at the gym in classes and striking up a conversation, or through volunteer work. Try those venues!

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:34 PM	#1
Biondina1003 Member Location: Metro DC area... for now...	Friendships..... Not sure if this should go here, but here it goes..... Well, I'm out of the nest and moved to a Lovely Apartment in Alexandria, VA with BF. He is originally from the area, so he has plenty of friends. He's always going out with them, playing basketball ect. NONE, of his friends have girlfriends, so no one for me to hang out with.... I have a great job, and ladies here that I talk to, but they are all married and have children, so theres no shopping days or nights out with them. I've been here in the area since June of 2007. And It's been very hard for me to make friends. And by friends, I mean someone to shop with, get manis and pedis and watch movies, exercise, ect. I have friends back home, but their back home. I feel as though my Boyfriend is starting to get annoyed with me, because I always ask him to go to the mall and talk to him about girly things and kinda be my buddy, but there are just somethings that he can't do that a good "girl" friend can, ( conversation) ..ect. I've reached out to a couple of ladies on TPF that are in my area, but I'm sure it was weird for them to get an PM from me asking for a friendship... So, no luck there. Anyways... what should I do? I'm not much of a party person, and I really don't drink. I enjoy shopping, fitness, eating healthy and just relaxing and enjoying life ( geez, sounds like a personals add...haha) Do any of you ladies feel this way?

Jan 3rd, 2008, 03:58 PM	#2
berryblondeboys Member Location: VA (DC Burbs)	Re: Friendships..... There was JUST a thread on this and LOTS of gals feel this way (scroll down a bit about making friends). I would say, "Hey let's hang out" as I'm not far from Alexandria, but I'm probably at least a decade older than you and have two kids, so not the best choice for you. Do you live near downtown Alexandria? maybe finding a place to hang out there and starting up conversations. If you haven't joined a church or something similar, maybe that's good. Take a class or something too, but it is hard and you sound EXACTLY like me when I first moved to Chicago when I got married, drove my DH NUTSO!!! LOL

Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:15 PM	#3
HubbaWubba Sofa King Banned	Re: Friendships..... How about when you go get a mani/pedi you get friendly with other women there when you go? Compliment them on something or ask what kind of perfume they are wearing then you can maybe see if you have something in common.

Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:23 PM	#4
aliciamarie Member Location: NE Ohio	Re: Friendships..... I have definitely been experiencing this, too. BF also doesn't know anyone from the area, but I know I'll be like "Hey babe, try this new hand exfoliating cream I bought!" And he'll just look at me weird, so I'll say, "I don't have any girl friends! Please?" He gets so annoyed with me. Maybe you could talk to some of your older co-workers and mention your problem and see if they have daughters/nieces/cousins/anything your age? At least then there would be a common ground. I have a hard time making friends and approaching strangers, but I think going to the salon and striking up conversation is a wonderful idea. Good luck! __________________ Alicia Current wishlist: - Tons of Madison accessories! - Soho patent satchel in that to die for burgundy color. - Something op art

Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:24 PM	#5
Jahpson Member Location: The Playground	Re: Friendships..... Im in the same boat, but im so shy. __________________ Amazingly Sophisticated Happy Holidays to all my TPF friends!

Jan 3rd, 2008, 04:43 PM	#6
gillianna Member	Re: Friendships..... Are there any places to hang out like Barnes & Noble with some activities-book club, ect??? I know it can be so hard when you move to a new place. I myself will talk to anyone in any store, ect., so I have made some great friends in my moves. When I first moved to a new house I literally knocked on about 12 doors and said I was having a party and invited the couples that lived there. It was funny because it became a monthly thing with everyone bringing food and even though some of these people lived there for years they did not know each other. Can you post a notice at your apartment for a girls get together. I would think there has to be other people living there your age. I think it is also hard for people to make the first move so maybe you need to try to do it? Is there a apt. manager that can tell you if there are any women your age living there? I wish you the best. It is always fun to have a few people to hang out with.

Jan 3rd, 2008, 05:48 PM	#7
Biondina1003 Member Location: Metro DC area... for now...	Re: Friendships..... Thanks all for your encouraging words... You gave me some really good ideas, hopefully I'll be able to apply them.

Jan 3rd, 2008, 05:55 PM	#8
Pias Member	Re: Friendships..... Well, I don't live in your area. I live in far flung California. My lifestyle is similar to yours and I have similar problem too. It's hard to approach any gal since they might think that I am weird though. If you like, how about a pen-pal.

Jan 3rd, 2008, 06:00 PM	#9
omgsweet omg...cute bag!! Location: Scottsdale, Az	Re: Friendships..... Maybe you could make friends at work? If you dont work, then maybe you could volunteer somewhere and hopefully make a few friends. Since having a baby, I hardly see my friends. They like to drink and go to loud places...places that I don't feel comfortable taking my baby to. So I kind of know how you feel...

Jan 3rd, 2008, 07:12 PM	#10
bagnshoofetish We Love Our Billy	Re: Friendships..... I'm a tomboy so if I were you I would end up hanging out with him and his friends! (and every bf I've ever had, thats what I ended up doing). I don't know if this is something you would consider. The gf's I do have are also tomboys so the most girly things we do is go to a day spa. So unless you are comfortable hanging out with the guys, just be patient. as you go along in your work, you will make gf's with common interests. just give it time. thats all I can offer.... __________________ Please help us: http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...nt-392607.html

Jan 4th, 2008, 04:43 AM	#11
oo0ehxtahcee0oo ☺Livin the good life Location: ♥In my DF's arms♥	Re: Friendships..... me too.. i wish there were more people i can make strong friendships with that live near me.. im in CA __________________ [Click photo to read thread!] My blog site has great FREE goodies!! (updated 11/26) www,dearmissie.blogspot.com We did it!! New Crafts Subforum celebration here!!

Jan 4th, 2008, 05:53 AM	#12
jenarae Is always hustlin' Location: Oc to LA	Re: Friendships..... I'm open for friends ALL the TIME! I'm in the OC! __________________ Got hair questions!? Ask me! Visit my Myspace page of hair! http://www.myspace.com/jennduzurhair

Jan 4th, 2008, 06:45 AM	#13
chaz Member Location: Blissful!!	Re: Friendships..... I feel exactly the same!!! To the extent we are moving back to my 'home' in Manchester.I just can't 'get' with the people round here,I'm regarded with suspicion because of my accent,I try and make freindly jokes with people when I'm shopping or at checkouts etc.Nothing,total closedown. Since we have visited where we are going to move to a few times,my DH has also seen the difference and understands what its been like for me.I'm sure the isolation I have felt here helped to bring on post natal depression,making the whole thing worse. As Hubba mentioned why don't you get chatting to someone while you are having beauty treatments?? While you are chatting,just ask are they busy after,as you are loving chatting so much you'd love to go for a coffee?? Its worked for me in the past,but not where I am right now!!! __________________ Waiting for etoupe............

Jan 4th, 2008, 08:12 AM	#14
x joie Member	Re: Friendships..... I do understand how you feel. It seems like it is far more difficult for women to strike up friendships with each other than men. I wish you good luck though; at least you have us to talk to! Do you work out? During the summer when I was back from school and at home with few people to hang out with, I met some people at the gym. Also, I seem to meet a lot of people at coffe shops/starbucks, that kind of joint.. Good luck..

Jan 4th, 2008, 01:37 PM	#15
lorihmatthews Persian Love Location: San Francisco	Re: Friendships..... I have made great friends through seeing people at the gym in classes and striking up a conversation, or through volunteer work. Try those venues!