Friends' envy

Pias · Dec 19th, 2007, 05:57 PM

Have you encountered with your friends' envy?? Please share your stories with us here.

IntlSet · Dec 19th, 2007, 06:15 PM

Just my crazy friend (whom I've posted about before) who makes up psychopathic lies, which I think stems out of the fact that her life isn't where she expected it to be in relation to mine. Other than that, I don't have any problems. I also don't court envy from friends... for example, I don't carry a Chanel bag or wear super fancy clothes when going out to dinner with my bohemian starving-artist friend.

Liz_x3 · Dec 19th, 2007, 07:52 PM

Talking about envy.. just curious but how much truth is behind that, "they're just jealous.. that's why they hate you" idea?

Bubble Girl · Dec 19th, 2007, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Liz_x3
Talking about envy.. just curious but how much truth is behind that, "they're just jealous.. that's why they hate you" idea?

I think this is true. I have a "friend" (I put the term in inverted commas as she is not a real friend in the terms of how a real friend should act). The only reason I remain in contact with her now is because we unfortunately own property together. The other day she came over to discuss some property issues and without even saying hello said to me "are you putting on weight?". When I asked why she answered "because your shirt looks really tight on you" (pulling my shirt out at the back as she said this like a mother might do to a child). I didn't know how to respond to her because the truth is I put on a little weight (like 4 pounds) and that was 3 months ago, but I also couldn't believe she could be so rude. So I said nothing. But after repeating the story to SO and another friend (who is a real friend in the sense of the word), they both agreed she must feel pretty bad about herself to say something like that and is just jealous. I really want to wrap her up a big box of tact and give it to her for Christmas!!!

Anyway, sorry I raved on, but I think true friends are a rarity to find, and I can count my true friends on my fingers, and that includes my mother and my sisters.

bagnshoofetish · Dec 19th, 2007, 09:02 PM

I am assuming you mean hateful envy? I have only encountered that kind of "envy" from people who are not my friends. My very good friends might be jealous that I went on a trip or maybe got a piece of jewelry they like but its just playful, silly, sister-like envy, nothing destructive because in the end they are happy for me and have plenty of blessings in their life to keep them happy as well.

Glamorous_girl · Dec 19th, 2007, 09:34 PM

I will assume you mean hateful envy. Yeah I have, none of them are my friends anymore though. Hateful envy is the tip of the ice burg to a toxic friendship. For example one of these people I was friends with for about 6 years before I couldnt take the envy and other factors. If I had something she liked she would have to hate it, or if we liked the same thing it was because I'm copying her.

For example, when we both had PCs we both used to talk about how much we wanted Macs. Well when It came time for me to get a laptop I got a macbook, and all of a sudden she was mac bashing around me all the time.

That was the most memorable of many incidents like that. People like that are not real friends. Regardless of their income bracket or jealousy a true friend would be happy for you. I have a friend who loves LV but could never afford it (and doesn't do fakes

) and she doesn't bash me for my LV stuff. I used to make an effort to not carry it around her but when she found out I had LV she asks me to bring it when we go out and when I get a new piece she wants to see it. Jealous yeah but hateful, no.

PrincessMe · Dec 20th, 2007, 12:08 AM

i used to have alot of hatefully envious people in my life and i had to get rid of them bc if they had stayed they would have just continued to try and ruin my life...

Just imagine a show like melrose place and that was seriously just like my life!

since i got rid of almost all the negative people in my life, i just am happier and more successful everyday

Speedy · Dec 20th, 2007, 12:17 AM

I had a friend like this... she had hateful envy because my DH didn't drink, smoke pot and go to bed all greasy like her DH, and my kids worked from the time they were old enough to have a work permit (needed if one is under 17 here) while her kids sponged off her... and still do... one is 27, the other is 24. They still live at home with Mom. It didn't dawn on me until much later is our friendship that she tried to make herself look better than I was by insulting me in front of people she knew. There was no friendship there, I was just a stooge.

At my age, I've decided friends are best when they are nothing more than screen names. Lot less to judge this way.

helium · Dec 20th, 2007, 04:25 AM

Mmm... I don't know the differences between all the different types of envy, but, well... what happened was, one of my closer friends got a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, so one of my best friends thought 'enough is enough'. She got the first guy she found at a bar, who turned out to be the most horrible, violent, unfaithful man ever. I told her this, I pointed out her own safety, her unhappiness, so on so forth but she just thinks I'M the one that's jealous! Why on earth would I be jealous of a guy who doesn't even acknowledge her as a girlfriend? He put his myspace profile on 'single' so he can find more women. My God, I love her and all but she's really driving me insane. I want nothing more than her wellbeing and she just tells me to f- off and mind my own business. She even lost her virginity to this guy, I cried when I heard about it. I think first times are so special, I definitely didn't waste mine and no one should.

Ah she was never like this before this guy. Mostly, I wish for nothing more than his swift death, but I do also wish she'd wake up.

Pias · Dec 20th, 2007, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IntlSet

Just my crazy friend (whom I've posted about before) who makes up psychopathic lies, which I think stems out of the fact that her life isn't where she expected it to be in relation to mine. Other than that, I don't have any problems. I also don't court envy from friends... for example, I don't carry a Chanel bag or wear super fancy clothes when going out to dinner with my bohemian starving-artist friend.

Me too. I try not to dress up when seeing my friends. Unfortunately, some friends dress too much like rags. They would wear something I can't even imagine myself wearing at home. J.Crew is more my style, so I don't think it is too much or too ostentatious at all.
I've a former friend who lied to make herself sound better than reality, but they were all bad lies. So I was not pleased to listen to that. I felt as if she disrespected me. We came from very different background. I never looked down on her but I don't like it when she tried to compare herself with me or drag me to some of her circle of friends who I have nothing in common with (such as bargirls, massage therapists, waitresses, bartenders). And she embarrassed me by mentioning how bad I looked when I had troubles at work to other people who were not even our friends

. After that I told myself "Enough is enough" and no longer contact her. I feel like a million now. Why was I even being close to her in the first place? She had trouble in her relationship with an unfaithful man and I was sympathy to her and helped her out through a hardship.

Maryanne007 · Dec 20th, 2007, 11:06 PM

I had one crazy friend... who would always get so mad at me because she claimed I was always stealing her "men." Now these are guys that in her mind she thought were cute, never ever expressed that to any one else (me included) and who then subsequently flirted with me or asked me out, and then she would bitch me out for stealing her guy!! That along with the fact that she used to buy the exact clothes I had, and was the cheapest person alive despite claiming that she had soooo much money. Finally I had enough, and ended that friendship. Who needs toxic people in your life!?

QueenOfDa702 · Dec 20th, 2007, 11:28 PM

Nobody who is a "friend" of mine is envious(a "hater" is what I call them) of me, not that they make obvious anyway.

I've had my fair share of haters, but I dont pay much attention to them(which probably pisses them off more

), they really arent worth your time. All they are is jealous that they dont have the things/life you have. I dont understand why people spend all of their energy hating on someone, when they could spend that energy striving to get the things they are hating on.

Cheryl · Dec 20th, 2007, 11:49 PM

My sister is this way... I dont like to talk about it really but we can't be close anymore because I have more money then her and her husband do. She said they are happy together until they get around us ( My DH and I) and then they are miserable.

PrincessMe · Dec 21st, 2007, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenOfDa702

. I dont understand why people spend all of their energy hating on someone, when they could spend that energy striving to get the things they are hating on.

so well said ITA

meluv2shop12 · Dec 21st, 2007, 10:50 PM

i used to hang out with this girl... she knew me when i used to carry hand-me-down-no-name bags...

then i got promoted a few times and started developing a new appreciation for the finer things in life...

when i bought my first gucci, she THOROUGHLY examined it as if she was making sure it was legit! i "jokingly" said, would you like to see my reciept and authenticity card too lol

i guess she couldn't believe i would go from $0.00 bags to <$500 ones

Dec 19th, 2007, 05:57 PM	#1
Pias Member	Friends' envy Have you encountered with your friends' envy?? Please share your stories with us here.

Dec 19th, 2007, 06:15 PM	#2
IntlSet Bonjour! Location: Chicago	Re: Friends' envy Just my crazy friend (whom I've posted about before) who makes up psychopathic lies, which I think stems out of the fact that her life isn't where she expected it to be in relation to mine. Other than that, I don't have any problems. I also don't court envy from friends... for example, I don't carry a Chanel bag or wear super fancy clothes when going out to dinner with my bohemian starving-artist friend. __________________ www.drinkmorechampagne.com

Dec 19th, 2007, 07:52 PM	#3
Liz_x3 Member	Re: Friends' envy Talking about envy.. just curious but how much truth is behind that, "they're just jealous.. that's why they hate you" idea?

Dec 19th, 2007, 09:02 PM	#5
bagnshoofetish We Love Our Billy	Re: Friends' envy I am assuming you mean hateful envy? I have only encountered that kind of "envy" from people who are not my friends. My very good friends might be jealous that I went on a trip or maybe got a piece of jewelry they like but its just playful, silly, sister-like envy, nothing destructive because in the end they are happy for me and have plenty of blessings in their life to keep them happy as well. __________________ Please help us: http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...nt-392607.html

Dec 19th, 2007, 09:34 PM	#6
Glamorous_girl LVOE Location: Tokyo, Japan & Hanover, PA	Re: Friends' envy I will assume you mean hateful envy. Yeah I have, none of them are my friends anymore though. Hateful envy is the tip of the ice burg to a toxic friendship. For example one of these people I was friends with for about 6 years before I couldnt take the envy and other factors. If I had something she liked she would have to hate it, or if we liked the same thing it was because I'm copying her. For example, when we both had PCs we both used to talk about how much we wanted Macs. Well when It came time for me to get a laptop I got a macbook, and all of a sudden she was mac bashing around me all the time. That was the most memorable of many incidents like that. People like that are not real friends. Regardless of their income bracket or jealousy a true friend would be happy for you. I have a friend who loves LV but could never afford it (and doesn't do fakes ) and she doesn't bash me for my LV stuff. I used to make an effort to not carry it around her but when she found out I had LV she asks me to bring it when we go out and when I get a new piece she wants to see it. Jealous yeah but hateful, no. __________________ Wish list (LV): Trunks and bags mini pochette Inclusion bracelet PM Grey-on it's way Speedy undecided Sunset boulevard amarante Lambskin Rivets Bag black

Dec 20th, 2007, 12:08 AM	#7
PrincessMe La Fabuleuse Location: In the Fab Lane	Re: Friends' envy i used to have alot of hatefully envious people in my life and i had to get rid of them bc if they had stayed they would have just continued to try and ruin my life... Just imagine a show like melrose place and that was seriously just like my life! since i got rid of almost all the negative people in my life, i just am happier and more successful everyday __________________ www.theadventuresofmee.blogspot.com Dream Bag: Mirage Griet

Dec 20th, 2007, 12:17 AM	#8
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: Friends' envy I had a friend like this... she had hateful envy because my DH didn't drink, smoke pot and go to bed all greasy like her DH, and my kids worked from the time they were old enough to have a work permit (needed if one is under 17 here) while her kids sponged off her... and still do... one is 27, the other is 24. They still live at home with Mom. It didn't dawn on me until much later is our friendship that she tried to make herself look better than I was by insulting me in front of people she knew. There was no friendship there, I was just a stooge. At my age, I've decided friends are best when they are nothing more than screen names. Lot less to judge this way.

Dec 20th, 2007, 04:25 AM	#9
helium Member	Re: Friends' envy Mmm... I don't know the differences between all the different types of envy, but, well... what happened was, one of my closer friends got a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, so one of my best friends thought 'enough is enough'. She got the first guy she found at a bar, who turned out to be the most horrible, violent, unfaithful man ever. I told her this, I pointed out her own safety, her unhappiness, so on so forth but she just thinks I'M the one that's jealous! Why on earth would I be jealous of a guy who doesn't even acknowledge her as a girlfriend? He put his myspace profile on 'single' so he can find more women. My God, I love her and all but she's really driving me insane. I want nothing more than her wellbeing and she just tells me to f- off and mind my own business. She even lost her virginity to this guy, I cried when I heard about it. I think first times are so special, I definitely didn't waste mine and no one should. Ah she was never like this before this guy. Mostly, I wish for nothing more than his swift death, but I do also wish she'd wake up.

Dec 20th, 2007, 11:06 PM	#11
Maryanne007 Member	Re: Friends' envy I had one crazy friend... who would always get so mad at me because she claimed I was always stealing her "men." Now these are guys that in her mind she thought were cute, never ever expressed that to any one else (me included) and who then subsequently flirted with me or asked me out, and then she would bitch me out for stealing her guy!! That along with the fact that she used to buy the exact clothes I had, and was the cheapest person alive despite claiming that she had soooo much money. Finally I had enough, and ended that friendship. Who needs toxic people in your life!?

Dec 20th, 2007, 11:28 PM	#12
QueenOfDa702 Misunderestimated. Location: I've gone RAOKing crazy!	Re: Friends' envy Nobody who is a "friend" of mine is envious(a "hater" is what I call them) of me, not that they make obvious anyway. I've had my fair share of haters, but I dont pay much attention to them(which probably pisses them off more ), they really arent worth your time. All they are is jealous that they dont have the things/life you have. I dont understand why people spend all of their energy hating on someone, when they could spend that energy striving to get the things they are hating on. __________________ ~Valeen~ Happy Holidays to all my tPF friends! Click HERE to visit MySpace Please help get justice for Karley! http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...ey-385571.html

Dec 20th, 2007, 11:49 PM	#13
Cheryl Obsessed Location: Florida	Re: Friends' envy My sister is this way... I dont like to talk about it really but we can't be close anymore because I have more money then her and her husband do. She said they are happy together until they get around us ( My DH and I) and then they are miserable. __________________ Cheryl

Dec 21st, 2007, 10:50 PM	#15
meluv2shop12 Member Location: la la land	Re: Friends' envy i used to hang out with this girl... she knew me when i used to carry hand-me-down-no-name bags... then i got promoted a few times and started developing a new appreciation for the finer things in life... when i bought my first gucci, she THOROUGHLY examined it as if she was making sure it was legit! i "jokingly" said, would you like to see my reciept and authenticity card too lol i guess she couldn't believe i would go from $0.00 bags to <$500 ones Last edited by meluv2shop12; Dec 21st, 2007 at 10:56 PM.