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ProfNot · Sep 14th, 2009, 06:23 PM

Truth!

Mum told me this weekend about her friend's sister. I've met Mum's friend and she is a nice, honest woman. Let's call friend's sister Sis.

Sis and husband had been married for years, were deeply in love, and very happy.

Suddenly he wanted them to move (not travel) to a distant country right away but wouldn't tell her why he was so adamant about it.

Sis's family is in North America so she wanted to stay. After a few days of fighting, he hit her. Hard.

Sis left and stayed away until his zillion cell phone calls, texts, and messages stopped.

She didn't answer her phone at all, fearing it was him calling from another number. Took around a week for the cell phone to go silent. She thought his temper had finally calmed down.

When she went back home the police were waiting for her. She had no idea what was going on.

He had embezzled millions from his company and had fled the country.

Upon going inside the house, she discovered he was so angry with her he trashed their $million+ home including all furniture, walls, appliances, clothes - everything.

Hang onto your heart - he even trashed her beloved her shoes and purses!

He took all their money and expensive jewelry with him. And he drained their bank accounts.

All she had left was her car, what she wore, and the few things she had with her.

He had a well-paying big-company top-level job so she didn't work. Not only did she have no money, she didn't even have a job.

The police froze the credit cards.

The company wants her to pay back the embezzeled funds.

Husband is still on the run abroad - probably hidden by family.

My mom's friend is paying for a good attorney for Sis.

Several months later later -
Sis has started a tiny company and is now making $7K a month by working a million hours a week. So she will be OK.

She doesn't know if she can keep the damaged house, thou. She's fighting for it. She may have to declare bankruptcy to keep it.

(If you happen to know who this woman is, please don't post about it. Media has been driving her crazy and she is still grieving the loss of the love of her life.)

Best of good luck to this brave woman!

spoiled_brat · Sep 14th, 2009, 06:34 PM

Jeneen · Sep 14th, 2009, 06:46 PM

PurseAddict79 · Sep 14th, 2009, 06:46 PM

That's really sad. I hope they find him...

caxe · Sep 14th, 2009, 07:05 PM

This is why women shouldn't depend on the men in their lives. Always have something for yourself, and a Plan A, Plan B, whatever. If I'd been her, I might have been depositing money into my bank accounts instead of buying purses, shoes, and material stuff, but that's just me. This is a heads up, though, because things like this happen to women all the time on a smaller scale, of course. Women end up single and have nothing, but they were comfortable during their marriage, like in a Tyler Perry movie or something. It's sad.

PrettyInPink · Sep 14th, 2009, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by caxe

This is why women shouldn't depend on the men in their lives. Always have something for yourself, and a Plan A, Plan B, whatever. If I'd been her, I might have been depositing money into my bank accounts instead of buying purses, shoes, and material stuff, but that's just me. This is a heads up, though, because things like this happen to women all the time on a smaller scale, of course. Women end up single and have nothing, but they were comfortable during their marriage, like in a Tyler Perry movie or something. It's sad.

YES YES YES!

I cannot understand for the life of me why women allow men to control them with money. I fully believe in separate bank accounts. What's mine is mine, what's his is his, and what's ours is ours. NEVER EVER depend on a man for your money!

And, you are 1000% right, you should ALWAYS have a Plan B.

juneping · Sep 14th, 2009, 07:30 PM

^^not that i don't agree....but if financially independent then what's the point of a marriage? my parents told me i should have plan B as well..aka a secret saving account just in case.

PurseAddict79 · Sep 14th, 2009, 07:31 PM

^^Marriage should never be about money. Emotional, spiritual security yes... but never financial.

juneping · Sep 14th, 2009, 07:34 PM

^^but all aspects except money?

simplygm819 · Sep 14th, 2009, 08:00 PM

I believe marriage should never be about money, in the sense that you're marrying a certain someone just because they have lots of it, but that's about it. When you're married, shouldn't you be able to share/combine everything? Otherwise what is the point of marriage? I just feel IMO if one is unable to do that, then the relationship/marriage lacks trust and without trust there is nothing. However, I do understand that things DO happen in life so for some to put aside money of their own really isn't too unreasonable.

In any case, it's very unfortunate the woman in this story had to go through so much but if she is doing everything in her power to make her life easier than even more props for her!!

juneping · Sep 14th, 2009, 08:07 PM

^^i agree with what you said. but i am not married and i am not sure i am being idealistic or naive.

PrettyInPink · Sep 14th, 2009, 08:18 PM

One should never marry for financial stability. Most marriages that begin on this road are headed for disaster.

I believe that money is the root of a lot of problems in marriages. Which is why I believe that couples should have a joint bank account... but, also two separate bank accounts.

miss_sigh_gone · Sep 14th, 2009, 08:56 PM

Sounds like Sis got a rude awakening...

BTW: I hate people sugar-coat things but saying that the woman was "dependent" on the man...as if she was such a fragile little flower that needed to be taken care of--the proper term for these women who live off their hard-working, successful husbands is "LEECH".

juneping · Sep 14th, 2009, 09:03 PM

^^if the husbands don't mind to provide to their wives...it's not exactly a parasite situation. it's never cut and dry for couples.

redney · Sep 14th, 2009, 09:05 PM

^I think financial issues and sharing of finances in a marriage has generational differences.

Women who came of age post women's lib movement in the late 60s/70s quite possibly have a much stronger view to have their own bank accounts and "plan Bs", while women from earlier generations may not. Quite possibly Sis is of an older generation.

Sep 14th, 2009, 06:23 PM	#1
ProfNot OP Sylvie Guillem fan Joined: May 2006 Location: Vancouver Posts: 1,855	Formerly-wealthy wife left with only the few clothes + things she had with her. Truth! Mum told me this weekend about her friend's sister. I've met Mum's friend and she is a nice, honest woman. Let's call friend's sister Sis. Sis and husband had been married for years, were deeply in love, and very happy. Suddenly he wanted them to move (not travel) to a distant country right away but wouldn't tell her why he was so adamant about it. Sis's family is in North America so she wanted to stay. After a few days of fighting, he hit her. Hard. Sis left and stayed away until his zillion cell phone calls, texts, and messages stopped. She didn't answer her phone at all, fearing it was him calling from another number. Took around a week for the cell phone to go silent. She thought his temper had finally calmed down. When she went back home the police were waiting for her. She had no idea what was going on. He had embezzled millions from his company and had fled the country. Upon going inside the house, she discovered he was so angry with her he trashed their $million+ home including all furniture, walls, appliances, clothes - everything. Hang onto your heart - he even trashed her beloved her shoes and purses! He took all their money and expensive jewelry with him. And he drained their bank accounts. All she had left was her car, what she wore, and the few things she had with her. He had a well-paying big-company top-level job so she didn't work. Not only did she have no money, she didn't even have a job. The police froze the credit cards. The company wants her to pay back the embezzeled funds. Husband is still on the run abroad - probably hidden by family. My mom's friend is paying for a good attorney for Sis. Several months later later - Sis has started a tiny company and is now making $7K a month by working a million hours a week. So she will be OK. She doesn't know if she can keep the damaged house, thou. She's fighting for it. She may have to declare bankruptcy to keep it. (If you happen to know who this woman is, please don't post about it. Media has been driving her crazy and she is still grieving the loss of the love of her life.) Best of good luck to this brave woman!
	Last edited by ProfNot; Sep 14th, 2009 at 06:33 PM.

Sep 14th, 2009, 06:46 PM	#3
Jeneen Member Joined: Feb 2009 Location: up in the gym workin on my fitness Posts: 2,762
	__________________ *Jeneen* Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you. - dbf's fortune cookie

Sep 14th, 2009, 07:05 PM	#5
caxe Established 1976 Joined: Mar 2007 Location: The Southeast, US Posts: 4,963	This is why women shouldn't depend on the men in their lives. Always have something for yourself, and a Plan A, Plan B, whatever. If I'd been her, I might have been depositing money into my bank accounts instead of buying purses, shoes, and material stuff, but that's just me. This is a heads up, though, because things like this happen to women all the time on a smaller scale, of course. Women end up single and have nothing, but they were comfortable during their marriage, like in a Tyler Perry movie or something. It's sad.
	__________________ Let's get it on. It's time to get down!

Sep 14th, 2009, 07:30 PM	#7
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	^^not that i don't agree....but if financially independent then what's the point of a marriage? my parents told me i should have plan B as well..aka a secret saving account just in case.
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Sep 14th, 2009, 07:34 PM	#9
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	^^but all aspects except money?
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Sep 14th, 2009, 06:34 PM	#2
spoiled_brat not spoiled enough Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 2,192

Sep 14th, 2009, 06:46 PM	#4
PurseAddict79 PerpetuallyPenniless Joined: Sep 2008 Location: The Mall Posts: 1,236	That's really sad. I hope they find him...

Sep 14th, 2009, 07:31 PM	#8
PurseAddict79 PerpetuallyPenniless Joined: Sep 2008 Location: The Mall Posts: 1,236	^^Marriage should never be about money. Emotional, spiritual security yes... but never financial.

Sep 14th, 2009, 08:00 PM	#10
simplygm819 Member Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 267	I believe marriage should never be about money, in the sense that you're marrying a certain someone just because they have lots of it, but that's about it. When you're married, shouldn't you be able to share/combine everything? Otherwise what is the point of marriage? I just feel IMO if one is unable to do that, then the relationship/marriage lacks trust and without trust there is nothing. However, I do understand that things DO happen in life so for some to put aside money of their own really isn't too unreasonable. In any case, it's very unfortunate the woman in this story had to go through so much but if she is doing everything in her power to make her life easier than even more props for her!!
simplygm819 Member Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 267	__________________ A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous!

Sep 14th, 2009, 08:07 PM	#11
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	^^i agree with what you said. but i am not married and i am not sure i am being idealistic or naive.
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Sep 14th, 2009, 08:18 PM	#12
PrettyInPink <3 Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Hockey Town! Posts: 1,445	One should never marry for financial stability. Most marriages that begin on this road are headed for disaster. I believe that money is the root of a lot of problems in marriages. Which is why I believe that couples should have a joint bank account... but, also two separate bank accounts.
	__________________

Sep 14th, 2009, 08:56 PM	#13
miss_sigh_gone Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 144	Sounds like Sis got a rude awakening... BTW: I hate people sugar-coat things but saying that the woman was "dependent" on the man...as if she was such a fragile little flower that needed to be taken care of--the proper term for these women who live off their hard-working, successful husbands is "LEECH".
miss_sigh_gone Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 144

Sep 14th, 2009, 09:03 PM	#14
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	^^if the husbands don't mind to provide to their wives...it's not exactly a parasite situation. it's never cut and dry for couples.
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Sep 14th, 2009, 09:05 PM	#15
redney Lovin' Life! Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,754	^I think financial issues and sharing of finances in a marriage has generational differences. Women who came of age post women's lib movement in the late 60s/70s quite possibly have a much stronger view to have their own bank accounts and "plan Bs", while women from earlier generations may not. Quite possibly Sis is of an older generation.
redney Lovin' Life! Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,754

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