Flirting with married men

MissusB · Jun 25th, 2008, 08:51 PM

Well, there's an old saying that goes something like this..."If they'll do it WITH you, they'll do it TO you". What goes around seems to come around in the end...

helium · Jun 25th, 2008, 09:34 PM

I'd be livid, but I trust my boyfriend enough to expect him to yell at them to grow up.

LaurelLee123 · Jun 25th, 2008, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charles

Girls using their sexuality in the workplace?? Have you been under a rock since....forever?

Honestly, I think a little bit under a rock. Actually I have been in school and training FOREVER.... and at the age of 32, this is my first real job in my chosen career. Sure I have waitressed and worked in retail as a student, and there was plenty of 'inappropriate' behavior. But this is the professional world!

Luckily, these men are my colleages, not my superiors, so I don't have to 'compete' with these flirtatious women. But I am just surprised at how much suggestive conversation and behavior goes on in the workplace and amoungst married men! I know if those guys were my husband, I would find it unacceptable! I really don't think these girls really mean to try to seduce these men or are actually looking to have an affair (some of these dudes are old! Not hot old like Pierce brosnon, just old), they are just playing around. I just couldn't fathom flirting with men my father's age when I was young and single.

lmkhlh2006 · Jun 25th, 2008, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurelLee123

So, just to clarify, this isn't a personal issue - I am just sort of a nosy people watcher and have observed a common occurence at work.

At work, there are a lot of older men in higher positions and most of them are married. A lot of the employees under them are young women. A lot of these girls seem to flirt shamelessly with these married men.

Today a girl invited a married guy twice her age to go clubbing with her and her friends saying 'oh, you have to go, I totally want you to go, it will be much more fun with you there'. This other young employee is always telling these older guys they smell good and look hot and she wants to hug them so that she can smell them. And then this other girl will ask these men to take a picture of her on their cell phone so that when she texts them, her picture will show up - and then she sort of hits this provacative pose for the picture.

Is this a common interaction between a male boss and his young employees? The guys seem to like the flirting - whether it goes beyond flirting, I don't know. I mean, I am not a flirtatious person, and even though I am in my thirties, I still find 50 - 60 year old men to be OLD. These girls are in their 20's and sometimes 30's. Anyways, this doesn't affect me in any way at work - I just find it unusual and a little gross.

Do we work together?

I see this all the time at my work, the age gap isn't as big though but I see younger women that I work with shamelessly throw themselves at the managers (which are all married). It saddens me that a lot of them seem to think that this is how they will get ahead at work.

maggie7 · Jun 25th, 2008, 10:43 PM

Well, this sort of behaviour has always been around and always will...have none of you been chatted up by guys (married or not) in the work place?? Never?? 'Cause you have...it's up to a married or otherwise attached person to give clear signals that they're not interested and dislike being flirted with..

In my opinion, the guys show even less class than the girls..they're married, but love the attention from young, silly girls...if I found my husband all over a young employee, it would be him that would cop it, not the girl...

keodi · Jun 25th, 2008, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charles

Girls using their sexuality in the workplace?? Have you been under a rock since....forever?

oh god, your post had me in stitches..

boxermom · Jun 25th, 2008, 11:42 PM

It is repulsive and wrong on so many levels. MissusB is so right--if they'll do it WITH you, they'll do it TO you. These know-it-all young women need a dose of empathy for the wives. And the men don't need to encourage it either.

PetiteChaton · Jun 25th, 2008, 11:46 PM

Well look.. I wouldnt ever do it myself but one of the powers women have ..especially good looking women... is their looks...sometimes..it doesnt have to lead to anything.. MY boss is married and two girls were interviewed for a position at my work place... he wanted to hire the girl with the bigger breasts and a nicer body/face... she didnt get the job because another assistant manager (female) stepped in and said "do you want whats good for your business or what?"...

Point being.. He wouldnt have tried anything with her.. but most guys find it an ego boost to have a pretty young thing compliment them..and be all nice to them...and seeing that they are the stupid idiots fallng for it, I dont blame these girls...
As long as they arent taking it to the next level.

PetiteChaton · Jun 25th, 2008, 11:49 PM

lets reverse the situation tho..say you're a 30 something married woman.. and a gorgeous 20 something guy, 6' tall, muscles, a nice ass, gorgeous face..smells lovely.. is a little too nice to you..nothing disrespectful..but just extra nice to you...maybe a lil flirty.. GRANTED, you would like his attention...and you wouldnt want it to go away..and it comes to promotion time...maybe.. you would give it to him over that nerdy guy who barely talks to you and smells funny. (assuming they both have the same qualifications and results)

Just a thought!

lovinalotofbags · Jun 26th, 2008, 12:03 AM

It is not harmless or meaningless. It is not appropriate. They are stroking their egos for one reason or another. If only the wives of these men could see them lapping this kind of behavior up. No respect for themselves or their wives. Wanting to hug a man to smell him, give me a break. These are loose young women. Their behavior is downright disgusting and pathetic.

PetiteChaton · Jun 26th, 2008, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovinalotofbags

It is not harmless or meaningless. It is not appropriate. They are stroking their egos for one reason or another. If only the wives of these men could see them lapping this kind of behavior up. No respect for themselves or their wives. Wanting to hug a man to smell him, give me a break. These are loose young women. Their behavior is downright disgusting and pathetic.

Why are the women the ones to be blamed tho? Why are these men accepting this type of flirtation in the work place? I would personally expect my husband to put his foot down as a man, as someone older and as someone with more power then the young employee in the work place..i wouldnt care if they were just a bit too nice to him... but if they were hugging him and touching him..and all that, i would expect him to have a chat to them and tell them to knock it off.

DiorDeVille · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:37 AM

^^Agreed. If it were younger guys flirting with the older women in a workplace, and anyone followed through on it, the blame would go to the older, married woman.

I think the same should happen here - the married person is the one breaking a promise, or flirting with the idea, and should take the heat. They wanna' be big boys and be king of their world, they can learn to control their own anatomy first.

Although yeah, I can't understand overt flirting with guys who are grandfathers ... and that's not always a great way to get ahead in a professional workplace ...

Zophie · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:46 AM

I'm 36 and tend to like older guys and find men around their 50s most attractive usually. However, I won't even overtly flirt with the single ones, let alone married. Why bother with the married ones? Now, I guess though some people are just super friendly and it's only harmless, but I can't imagine inviting any guy I work with out clubbing at all. Sometimes I do have to say that if I know a guy is unavailable I might be come off as a little more flirty because I know it's safe and it's just silly, but still I wouldn't invite them out with me.

Oh, and my dad is 66 and probably wishes some young girl would flirt with him! He'll sometimes tell my mom, "Oh, did you see her? She wanted my body." My mom will be like, "You wish," and just laughs. Of course a young girl to my dad is 50. He'd probably laugh if a 25-year-old flirted with him.

Pursegrrl · Jun 26th, 2008, 03:07 AM

Both are at fault here...the women flirting which is SO entirely unprofessional...ladies don't you see how this gives women a bad rap in the workplace and that we aren't taken as seriously as we could be??? And shame on the men for encouraging it and not ignoring it or just saying hey, can it.

Trust me on this one. I've been in the workforce fulltime since these young women were in diapers, LOL.

GirlFriday · Jun 26th, 2008, 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

it's called having no class. but what goes around comes around. someday they will be older and (maybe) married and some young chick will put the moves on their guy. karma is a beeyotch!

I agree. Age is the great equalizer. Some of these girls will have a hard time when they get older and they're not as cute anymore. Then they'll see all other younger cute girls that men their age (or even their husbands) will want to flirt with.

Jun 25th, 2008, 08:51 PM	#16
MissusB Member Location: Leawood, KS	Well, there's an old saying that goes something like this..."If they'll do it WITH you, they'll do it TO you". What goes around seems to come around in the end... __________________ "If you can't be a good example ~ be a horrible warning!"

Jun 26th, 2008, 12:03 AM	#25
lovinalotofbags In for the long haul Location: South Carolina	It is not harmless or meaningless. It is not appropriate. They are stroking their egos for one reason or another. If only the wives of these men could see them lapping this kind of behavior up. No respect for themselves or their wives. Wanting to hug a man to smell him, give me a break. These are loose young women. Their behavior is downright disgusting and pathetic. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Jun 26th, 2008, 01:37 AM	#27
DiorDeVille Member	^^Agreed. If it were younger guys flirting with the older women in a workplace, and anyone followed through on it, the blame would go to the older, married woman. I think the same should happen here - the married person is the one breaking a promise, or flirting with the idea, and should take the heat. They wanna' be big boys and be king of their world, they can learn to control their own anatomy first. Although yeah, I can't understand overt flirting with guys who are grandfathers ... and that's not always a great way to get ahead in a professional workplace ... Last edited by DiorDeVille; Jun 26th, 2008 at 01:42 AM. Reason: Schpelling matterzs

Jun 26th, 2008, 01:46 AM	#28
Zophie I <3 my Maltese! Location: New Orleans, LA	I'm 36 and tend to like older guys and find men around their 50s most attractive usually. However, I won't even overtly flirt with the single ones, let alone married. Why bother with the married ones? Now, I guess though some people are just super friendly and it's only harmless, but I can't imagine inviting any guy I work with out clubbing at all. Sometimes I do have to say that if I know a guy is unavailable I might be come off as a little more flirty because I know it's safe and it's just silly, but still I wouldn't invite them out with me. Oh, and my dad is 66 and probably wishes some young girl would flirt with him! He'll sometimes tell my mom, "Oh, did you see her? She wanted my body." My mom will be like, "You wish," and just laughs. Of course a young girl to my dad is 50. He'd probably laugh if a 25-year-old flirted with him. __________________

Jun 25th, 2008, 09:34 PM	#17
helium Member	I'd be livid, but I trust my boyfriend enough to expect him to yell at them to grow up.

Jun 25th, 2008, 10:43 PM	#20
maggie7 Member Location: Australia	Well, this sort of behaviour has always been around and always will...have none of you been chatted up by guys (married or not) in the work place?? Never?? 'Cause you have...it's up to a married or otherwise attached person to give clear signals that they're not interested and dislike being flirted with.. In my opinion, the guys show even less class than the girls..they're married, but love the attention from young, silly girls...if I found my husband all over a young employee, it would be him that would cop it, not the girl...

Jun 25th, 2008, 11:42 PM	#22
boxermom Member Location: North Carolina	It is repulsive and wrong on so many levels. MissusB is so right--if they'll do it WITH you, they'll do it TO you. These know-it-all young women need a dose of empathy for the wives. And the men don't need to encourage it either.

Jun 25th, 2008, 11:46 PM	#23
PetiteChaton Tres chic	Well look.. I wouldnt ever do it myself but one of the powers women have ..especially good looking women... is their looks...sometimes..it doesnt have to lead to anything.. MY boss is married and two girls were interviewed for a position at my work place... he wanted to hire the girl with the bigger breasts and a nicer body/face... she didnt get the job because another assistant manager (female) stepped in and said "do you want whats good for your business or what?"... Point being.. He wouldnt have tried anything with her.. but most guys find it an ego boost to have a pretty young thing compliment them..and be all nice to them...and seeing that they are the stupid idiots fallng for it, I dont blame these girls... As long as they arent taking it to the next level.

Jun 25th, 2008, 11:49 PM	#24
PetiteChaton Tres chic	lets reverse the situation tho..say you're a 30 something married woman.. and a gorgeous 20 something guy, 6' tall, muscles, a nice ass, gorgeous face..smells lovely.. is a little too nice to you..nothing disrespectful..but just extra nice to you...maybe a lil flirty.. GRANTED, you would like his attention...and you wouldnt want it to go away..and it comes to promotion time...maybe.. you would give it to him over that nerdy guy who barely talks to you and smells funny. (assuming they both have the same qualifications and results) Just a thought!

Jun 26th, 2008, 03:07 AM	#29
Pursegrrl Oh! That Joe! Location: Seattle	Both are at fault here...the women flirting which is SO entirely unprofessional...ladies don't you see how this gives women a bad rap in the workplace and that we aren't taken as seriously as we could be??? And shame on the men for encouraging it and not ignoring it or just saying hey, can it. Trust me on this one. I've been in the workforce fulltime since these young women were in diapers, LOL.