Finally!! NO MORE BS from DH's so called "buddies"

simpleplan · Dec 17th, 2007, 12:52 AM

When my DH and I were dating/first living together his buddies would call him ANYTIME I mean, early moring, lunch, during dinner- and ask him to hang out. (meet up at pool hall, bar, race track, fishing) They didn't give a crap about what he was doing and when he would say "I'm busy", they would imply that he's whipped, I control him, he's lost his mind to a woman..etc..

All this BS I put up with and he had freedom even if it hurt me VERY VERY much. I knew his friends were jealous of him and our relationship cause they keep finding women that just seemed to run the other way after the first date. But my DH couldn't see the big picture- yet I still believed he would see things on his own someday without me forcing or making him realize it.

Okay NOW, so for the past 11 months..all his buddies (4 of them) have been MIA on their weekly "GUYS NIGHT OUT".. They don't even call anymore (I mean a courtesy call even), they don't come over they don't talk at all.. AND WHY? Cause they all have girlfriends now and have forgotten about friendship..Hmm..My DH was such a good friend to them..Now, what happened..What happened to his friends saying all this BS like "Bros before H*s" type stuff..

My Dh has finally seen what I was trying to point out 6 years ago..I know he's sad about it..but what can I do..it was bound to happen..I hope they come around though..he has been a good friend to them for years.

Pursegrrl · Dec 17th, 2007, 01:21 AM

I'd ride it out and see how it cycles through. Friends come and go in our lives but if they are true friends they will eventually find a balance with their GFs as well as male bonding. Both are very important.

Bubble Girl · Dec 17th, 2007, 03:10 AM

Sad for your DH as everyone needs their friends. But maybe the friends will now be a little more understanding when they eventually do all get together again.

Jill · Dec 17th, 2007, 03:22 AM

I think there does come a time when we grow up faster than some friends and need to find new MORE compatible ones??KWIM?
sucks...but thats how u get thru all that sometimes...

chipmunk-pnw · Dec 17th, 2007, 03:24 AM

If I were you I'd host a party at the house, and invite all of the friends with their spouses or partners. If all goes well you can do it often.

candace117 · Dec 17th, 2007, 04:22 AM

Chipmunk makes a good point - maybe it's time to try and include everyone in get-togethers...hold off on 'guys night out' for awhile, and encourage them to include their gfs even though they didn't do the same thing for you. you both can be bigger and better people and keep their friendships if you are interested in doing that.

simpleplan · Dec 17th, 2007, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chipmunk-pnw

If I were you I'd host a party at the house, and invite all of the friends with their spouses or partners. If all goes well you can do it often.

YES! Yes, I want to do this..but I think his buddies are still in the beginning stage of their new found lovers, where their gfs are not comfortable yet. Their gf's don't get along with each other nor with the other guys. (not surprising) They've all got some trust issues and we just don't want to be in the middle of drama right now.

But yes, I want to do this someday! My DH would like that. THANKS!

simpleplan · Dec 17th, 2007, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jill

I think there does come a time when we grow up faster than some friends and need to find new MORE compatible ones??KWIM?
sucks...but thats how u get thru all that sometimes...

You make a good point..I've found it easier to have dinners with his coworkers and their wives, because we have similar lifestyles.

Dec 17th, 2007, 12:52 AM	#1
simpleplan unconventional witt	Finally!! NO MORE BS from DH's so called "buddies" When my DH and I were dating/first living together his buddies would call him ANYTIME I mean, early moring, lunch, during dinner- and ask him to hang out. (meet up at pool hall, bar, race track, fishing) They didn't give a crap about what he was doing and when he would say "I'm busy", they would imply that he's whipped, I control him, he's lost his mind to a woman..etc.. All this BS I put up with and he had freedom even if it hurt me VERY VERY much. I knew his friends were jealous of him and our relationship cause they keep finding women that just seemed to run the other way after the first date. But my DH couldn't see the big picture- yet I still believed he would see things on his own someday without me forcing or making him realize it. Okay NOW, so for the past 11 months..all his buddies (4 of them) have been MIA on their weekly "GUYS NIGHT OUT".. They don't even call anymore (I mean a courtesy call even), they don't come over they don't talk at all.. AND WHY? Cause they all have girlfriends now and have forgotten about friendship..Hmm..My DH was such a good friend to them..Now, what happened..What happened to his friends saying all this BS like "Bros before H*s" type stuff.. My Dh has finally seen what I was trying to point out 6 years ago..I know he's sad about it..but what can I do..it was bound to happen..I hope they come around though..he has been a good friend to them for years. __________________ iHeartMyLexus

Dec 17th, 2007, 01:21 AM	#2
Pursegrrl Oh! That Joe! Location: Seattle	Re: Finally!! NO MORE BS from DH's so called "buddies" I'd ride it out and see how it cycles through. Friends come and go in our lives but if they are true friends they will eventually find a balance with their GFs as well as male bonding. Both are very important. __________________

Dec 17th, 2007, 03:10 AM	#3
Bubble Girl Member	Re: Finally!! NO MORE BS from DH's so called "buddies" Sad for your DH as everyone needs their friends. But maybe the friends will now be a little more understanding when they eventually do all get together again.

Dec 17th, 2007, 03:24 AM	#5
chipmunk-pnw ^.^ Location: USA	Re: Finally!! NO MORE BS from DH's so called "buddies" If I were you I'd host a party at the house, and invite all of the friends with their spouses or partners. If all goes well you can do it often.

Dec 17th, 2007, 04:22 AM	#6
candace117 Pirate Trash Location: Hardcorvallis	Re: Finally!! NO MORE BS from DH's so called "buddies" Chipmunk makes a good point - maybe it's time to try and include everyone in get-togethers...hold off on 'guys night out' for awhile, and encourage them to include their gfs even though they didn't do the same thing for you. you both can be bigger and better people and keep their friendships if you are interested in doing that. __________________ "With so much drama in the L-B-C, it's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-double G."

Dec 17th, 2007, 03:22 AM	#4
Jill	Re: Finally!! NO MORE BS from DH's so called "buddies" I think there does come a time when we grow up faster than some friends and need to find new MORE compatible ones??KWIM? sucks...but thats how u get thru all that sometimes...