Feeling annoyingly bitter, should I be?

Maryanne007 · Jul 2nd, 2008, 07:30 PM

So I am finishing up school, and have a month off before work starts. Perfect opportunity for a vacation. A long while ago, me and SO had planned on going together on one during this time, possibly with some of my other friends (he can take a couple of weeks off) Then we sort of went through a rough patch, and somehow in the midst of it all, he took himself out of the equation and I proceeded with planning the trip with a friend of mine, because it was clear he didn't want to go/ wasnt going to go. I had told him after I booked the trip that I was mad he wasn't coming or at least meeting me for part of it. He replied, that it was cause I was going halfway across the world (which to be honest is a lame excuse, because he has never been against going far distances to start!). Now he is trying to plan a trip for himself during that time, but has no one to go with, cause his guy friends are already doing things with their girlfriends!!! My trip is already fully booked, but I can't help but feel really pissed off, that this whole time he just doesnt want to go anywhere with me. Also he took his last trip with a friend of his, instead of me! So I went on another trip with other friends then too. As I have said from other threads, we almost broke a few weeks ago, which was also when I had officially told him I was mad he wasnt coming with me. So I am trying to have a fresh start, but this is one issue that keeps annoying me like no other.

artjen · Jul 2nd, 2008, 07:34 PM

Maybe a breather apart will be good for you two? I can understand though, I would be upset too. I think you and your girlfriend should go, have the best time ever, and don't act at all like you are missing him. Act excited about your trip and just have a great time. Maybe he will see how much fun you went and had without him and he will want to plan something for the both of you.

illinirdhd · Jul 2nd, 2008, 08:25 PM

Maryanne, is this guy really worth all the effort and heartache you're putting into him? I'm really starting to think you could do a LOT better!

imashopaholic · Jul 2nd, 2008, 08:36 PM

Sorry you're going through this. Communication is very important as it sounds like there are unresolved issues between the two of you. Talk to your SO and see where that takes you. Best of luck.

Maryanne007 · Jul 2nd, 2008, 09:03 PM

I know, sometimes I wonder that to. Actually I keep going back and forth, its like crazy extremes. Maybe some time apart will be good. I just feel like I put in all the effort sometimes. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by illinirdhd

Maryanne, is this guy really worth all the effort and heartache you're putting into him? I'm really starting to think you could do a LOT better!

illinirdhd · Jul 2nd, 2008, 09:23 PM

^^^ Yep, I did that for WAAAAAAAAAY too long. That's why I asked. The final straw, though, was when I found out he had another girl pregnant. (We weren't together - he wasn't cheating, but I was still holding onto a little shred of hope, KWIM?) The silver lining is that because of it, I was able to really give my whole heart to my relationship with my now-husband (we had just met at that time). Now my ex and I are really close friends, and he and his GF do things with DH and me. It all worked out. Now he pulls the same wishy-washy crap with his new GF, and I'm sooooo glad I cut my losses when I did.

Maryanne007 · Jul 2nd, 2008, 09:25 PM

^^ wow, im glad everything worked out for you!! and that you're still friends!

ugh i just hate feeling resentful all the time, but then again, i feel like im not ready to not try to work it out yet. =T

boxermom · Jul 2nd, 2008, 11:19 PM

This entire thing sounds rather passive-aggressive and childish on his part. It sounds like a pattern and do you want to continue playing these games with him? He has some issues obviously, but you don't have to continue putting up with it.

I hope you get some clarity on what you want your future to look like and if he's in it.

Jul 2nd, 2008, 07:30 PM	#1
Maryanne007 Member	Feeling annoyingly bitter, should I be? So I am finishing up school, and have a month off before work starts. Perfect opportunity for a vacation. A long while ago, me and SO had planned on going together on one during this time, possibly with some of my other friends (he can take a couple of weeks off) Then we sort of went through a rough patch, and somehow in the midst of it all, he took himself out of the equation and I proceeded with planning the trip with a friend of mine, because it was clear he didn't want to go/ wasnt going to go. I had told him after I booked the trip that I was mad he wasn't coming or at least meeting me for part of it. He replied, that it was cause I was going halfway across the world (which to be honest is a lame excuse, because he has never been against going far distances to start!). Now he is trying to plan a trip for himself during that time, but has no one to go with, cause his guy friends are already doing things with their girlfriends!!! My trip is already fully booked, but I can't help but feel really pissed off, that this whole time he just doesnt want to go anywhere with me. Also he took his last trip with a friend of his, instead of me! So I went on another trip with other friends then too. As I have said from other threads, we almost broke a few weeks ago, which was also when I had officially told him I was mad he wasnt coming with me. So I am trying to have a fresh start, but this is one issue that keeps annoying me like no other.

Jul 2nd, 2008, 08:25 PM	#3
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Location: Las Vegas, NV	Maryanne, is this guy really worth all the effort and heartache you're putting into him? I'm really starting to think you could do a LOT better! __________________

Jul 2nd, 2008, 09:23 PM	#6
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Location: Las Vegas, NV	^^^ Yep, I did that for WAAAAAAAAAY too long. That's why I asked. The final straw, though, was when I found out he had another girl pregnant. (We weren't together - he wasn't cheating, but I was still holding onto a little shred of hope, KWIM?) The silver lining is that because of it, I was able to really give my whole heart to my relationship with my now-husband (we had just met at that time). Now my ex and I are really close friends, and he and his GF do things with DH and me. It all worked out. Now he pulls the same wishy-washy crap with his new GF, and I'm sooooo glad I cut my losses when I did. __________________

Jul 2nd, 2008, 07:34 PM	#2
artjen Young @ Art Location: Arizona	Maybe a breather apart will be good for you two? I can understand though, I would be upset too. I think you and your girlfriend should go, have the best time ever, and don't act at all like you are missing him. Act excited about your trip and just have a great time. Maybe he will see how much fun you went and had without him and he will want to plan something for the both of you.

Jul 2nd, 2008, 08:36 PM	#4
imashopaholic christmas in 3 weeks Location: Australia	Sorry you're going through this. Communication is very important as it sounds like there are unresolved issues between the two of you. Talk to your SO and see where that takes you. Best of luck.

Jul 2nd, 2008, 09:25 PM	#7
Maryanne007 Member	^^ wow, im glad everything worked out for you!! and that you're still friends! ugh i just hate feeling resentful all the time, but then again, i feel like im not ready to not try to work it out yet. =T

Jul 2nd, 2008, 11:19 PM	#8
boxermom Member Location: North Carolina	This entire thing sounds rather passive-aggressive and childish on his part. It sounds like a pattern and do you want to continue playing these games with him? He has some issues obviously, but you don't have to continue putting up with it. I hope you get some clarity on what you want your future to look like and if he's in it.