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amymarie · Oct 11th, 2009, 03:40 PM

I broke up with my ex but when we were together, I bought something on a credit card in his name, it is 18 months no interest, and I have been paying it every month on time. A month ago, he was mad about something and told me he wanted me to pay it off right now so I wrote him the check. We were on good terms again and I thought he was not going to cash the check because he knows that I could not afford to pay off the 1200 right now. I saw last Fri that he cashed the check and I asked him why he wanted the money right now and he said b/c he wanted nothing to do with me....then why does he still talk to me every week?! He said I could have the money back in $500 per month if I needed it. I think it is very shady that he wanted me to write him a CHECK instead of me going online to pay it off instead. It seems like he wants the money sitting in his bank account and he'll pay it off per month, instead of the money being in my account. It seems like he wants to screw me over and it's hurtful b/c I could of screwed him over many times but I would never do that.

I don't know whether I should just pay him off now and be done with him forever or take back the money. If I pay him off now, I will be short on cash until my scholarship refund comes in January. I could probably get some help from my mom. I just really don't want anything to do with him either after this situation. What would you do? Thanks!

JNH14 · Oct 11th, 2009, 03:59 PM

Leave the $$$ with him and walk away. It's done and over with since you got a divorce...don't drag it on and be continually hurt by his actions. Cut your losses and start anew.

nataliam1976 · Oct 11th, 2009, 04:03 PM

I would give him back everything and cut ALL ties. No talking to him every week, put the past behind you.

olialm1 · Oct 11th, 2009, 04:05 PM

He sounds vindictive and immature. I agree with the other girls, cut ties and walk away. Things tend to get very messy when $$ is involved.

amymarie · Oct 11th, 2009, 04:22 PM

I really do want to cut all ties this time and not even be friends after what he did with this money situation....but that means I may have to suffer financially for a couple months. But it may be worth it!

nataliam1976 · Oct 11th, 2009, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by amymarie

I really do want to cut all ties this time and not even be friends after what he did with this money situation....but that means I may have to suffer financially for a couple months. But it may be worth it!

definitely worth it! if he was worth keeping in touch and being your friend after break up, he wouldnt ahve put you in a strain like that, I am sure he realizes that its a hassle for you.

frenchtoast · Oct 11th, 2009, 04:30 PM

Yes! ITA with what the others have said! Cut your ties with this guy, and just walk away!

flashy.stems · Oct 11th, 2009, 06:17 PM

its just better to have nothing hanging over your head. just be free!

amymarie · Oct 11th, 2009, 06:35 PM

Even if it means being in a bad spot financially???

ZippyWho · Oct 11th, 2009, 06:40 PM

Originally Posted by amymarie

Even if it means being in a bad spot financially???

Yes. Like you said, you can ask your mom for help if needed. Walk away from him.

lovinalotofbags · Oct 11th, 2009, 06:42 PM

Financial hardship for a short while. Pay him and be done with him.

shy*violet · Oct 11th, 2009, 07:14 PM

Originally Posted by nataliam1976

I would give him back everything and cut ALL ties. No talking to him every week, put the past behind you.

I agree.

And to the OP- he might have changed the password to his CC acct and that could be why he wanted you to write him a check or give the money to him vs. you going online to pay it.

When you write a check, you do so knowing that it can be cashed at ANY time.

Like I said, I think you should let him keep the money and just be done with him.

turboflgrl · Oct 11th, 2009, 07:16 PM

Honestly, I don't see any reason why he couldn't demand the money from you in a lump sum upon you two splitting up. Unless you had a written contract together that stated that you could pay him over the course of 18 months, I don't see how it's that unreasonable? If my ex used my credit to purchase something, I would want it paid in full as well so I wouldn't have to keep my ex in my life and hope he stayed true to his word for 18 months.

Now, do I think that he is possibly using the money for something else? Yes. But is it really any of your business? It's his credit, not yours. The money you paid him was due to him anyway. If he doesn't use it to pay off the bill, that's his problem. Did you get anything in writing about the debt being paid? A receipt or something? Be very careful because if you didn't, he could come back and claim you never paid him.

Just be happy he's out of your life and you don't have a bill reminding you of him every month. That alone would make me happy. As others have said, your mother can help you so it's worth being in a supposed "bad spot" for a couple months..

starra007 · Oct 11th, 2009, 07:19 PM

I agree with everyone else. I'd give the money back and move on. From personal experience, trust me, no amount of money is worth being tied to someone like that for a second longer. You may not be in the best position financially right now, but it won't always be that way. If you don't pay him, he'll use it later to hold over your head and continually drag you through the mud. Give him the money, walk away, and don't look back. I wouldn't recommend keeping in contact with him either.

amymarie · Oct 11th, 2009, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by shy*violet

I agree.

And to the OP- he might have changed the password to his CC acct and that could be why he wanted you to write him a check or give the money to him vs. you going online to pay it.

When you write a check, you do so knowing that it can be cashed at ANY time.

Like I said, I think you should let him keep the money and just be done with him.

He hasn't changed the password which is how I know he didn't pay it off yet. Also I could of paid it off online and THEN he could of changed the password. But yeah, I just thought he wouldn't cash it b/c we were on good terms for a month after the argument and he demanded the check.

Oct 11th, 2009, 03:40 PM	#1
amymarie OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 243	Ex and money situation, what to do? I broke up with my ex but when we were together, I bought something on a credit card in his name, it is 18 months no interest, and I have been paying it every month on time. A month ago, he was mad about something and told me he wanted me to pay it off right now so I wrote him the check. We were on good terms again and I thought he was not going to cash the check because he knows that I could not afford to pay off the 1200 right now. I saw last Fri that he cashed the check and I asked him why he wanted the money right now and he said b/c he wanted nothing to do with me....then why does he still talk to me every week?! He said I could have the money back in $500 per month if I needed it. I think it is very shady that he wanted me to write him a CHECK instead of me going online to pay it off instead. It seems like he wants the money sitting in his bank account and he'll pay it off per month, instead of the money being in my account. It seems like he wants to screw me over and it's hurtful b/c I could of screwed him over many times but I would never do that. I don't know whether I should just pay him off now and be done with him forever or take back the money. If I pay him off now, I will be short on cash until my scholarship refund comes in January. I could probably get some help from my mom. I just really don't want anything to do with him either after this situation. What would you do? Thanks!
amymarie OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 243

Oct 11th, 2009, 03:59 PM	#2
JNH14 Midlife...no crisis! Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Somewhere South... Posts: 2,428	Leave the $$$ with him and walk away. It's done and over with since you got a divorce...don't drag it on and be continually hurt by his actions. Cut your losses and start anew.
	__________________ "Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out". John Wooden

Oct 11th, 2009, 04:03 PM	#3
nataliam1976 Dior Goddess:-) Joined: Nov 2006 Location: all around Europe Posts: 12,696	I would give him back everything and cut ALL ties. No talking to him every week, put the past behind you.
	__________________ PLEASE DO NOT PM ME FOR AUTHENTICATIONS Dear Dior fans ! >>> PLEASE READ THIS: Some guidelines/tips on authentication <<< before you post - if you dont provide REQUIRED PICTURES - especially clear close up of the front and back of the inside tag, your posts will not be replied to, thanks !

Oct 11th, 2009, 04:05 PM	#4
olialm1 windy city Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Chicago Posts: 1,543	He sounds vindictive and immature. I agree with the other girls, cut ties and walk away. Things tend to get very messy when $$ is involved.
	__________________ make a difference! free rice

Oct 11th, 2009, 04:22 PM	#5
amymarie OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 243	I really do want to cut all ties this time and not even be friends after what he did with this money situation....but that means I may have to suffer financially for a couple months. But it may be worth it!
amymarie OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 243

Oct 11th, 2009, 04:30 PM	#7
frenchtoast Member Joined: Jul 2009 Location: Roanoke, VA Posts: 432	Yes! ITA with what the others have said! Cut your ties with this guy, and just walk away!

Oct 11th, 2009, 06:17 PM	#8
flashy.stems Hermès Hottie Joined: Jun 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 2,003	its just better to have nothing hanging over your head. just be free!

Oct 11th, 2009, 06:35 PM	#9
amymarie OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 243	Even if it means being in a bad spot financially???
amymarie OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 243

Oct 11th, 2009, 06:42 PM	#11
lovinalotofbags In for the long haul Joined: Mar 2008 Location: South Carolina Posts: 2,553	Financial hardship for a short while. Pay him and be done with him.
	__________________ Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well. -Mahatma Gandhi

Oct 11th, 2009, 07:16 PM	#13
turboflgrl Sofa King Addicted Joined: Jun 2008 Location: The Beach! Posts: 448	Honestly, I don't see any reason why he couldn't demand the money from you in a lump sum upon you two splitting up. Unless you had a written contract together that stated that you could pay him over the course of 18 months, I don't see how it's that unreasonable? If my ex used my credit to purchase something, I would want it paid in full as well so I wouldn't have to keep my ex in my life and hope he stayed true to his word for 18 months. Now, do I think that he is possibly using the money for something else? Yes. But is it really any of your business? It's his credit, not yours. The money you paid him was due to him anyway. If he doesn't use it to pay off the bill, that's his problem. Did you get anything in writing about the debt being paid? A receipt or something? Be very careful because if you didn't, he could come back and claim you never paid him. Just be happy he's out of your life and you don't have a bill reminding you of him every month. That alone would make me happy. As others have said, your mother can help you so it's worth being in a supposed "bad spot" for a couple months..
	__________________ ~Ashley~ "Unbanned and ready..." Wish List: Christian Louboutin Black Pigalle LV Ebony Damier Speedy 30 Hermes Cartouche Bracelet Love Quotes Scarves

Oct 11th, 2009, 07:19 PM	#14
starra007 Member Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 97	I agree with everyone else. I'd give the money back and move on. From personal experience, trust me, no amount of money is worth being tied to someone like that for a second longer. You may not be in the best position financially right now, but it won't always be that way. If you don't pay him, he'll use it later to hold over your head and continually drag you through the mud. Give him the money, walk away, and don't look back. I wouldn't recommend keeping in contact with him either.
starra007 Member Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 97

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