Ex and money situation, what to do?

[Cat]

Originally Posted by amymarie

He hasn't changed the password which is how I know he didn't pay it off yet. Also I could of paid it off online and THEN he could of changed the password. But yeah, I just thought he wouldn't cash it b/c we were on good terms for a month after the argument and he demanded the check.

Wow!You are this guys ex,knowing his password gives you no right whatsoever to check his credit card statements/balance.By doing this without his knowledge or permission he could easily report you to his credit card company or local police department.If I were your ex I'd request a new account number for this credit card and keep my password private.

The fact is you borrowed money without a written contract regarding terms of repayment,he was within his rights to demand prompt repayment and use those funds in any manner he pleases.If he pisses it away that's his business not yours,his future credit standing is his own problem,your debt has been paid in full you are no longer obligated to your ex.

If you are concerned about him knowing your checking accounts routing number,make a trip to the bank and simply close the account,they will gladly transfer your funds to a new checking account in a matter of minutes.

The wisest option would be to bite the bullet for the next few months until your financial state improves or ask your mom for help.Your canceled check is proof the loan has been repaid,consider it a done deal and move on.Keeping your financial dealings private and secure means keeping your passwords and account information to yourself.

[Aslan]

Originally Posted by Cat

Wow!You are this guys ex,knowing his password gives you no right whatsoever to check his credit card statements/balance.By doing this without his knowledge or permission he could easily report you to his credit card company or local police department.If I were your ex I'd request a new account number for this credit card and keep my password private. The fact is you borrowed money without a written contract regarding terms of repayment,he was within his rights to demand prompt repayment and use those funds in any manner he pleases.If he pisses it away that's his business not yours,his future credit standing is his own problem,your debt has been paid in full you are no longer obligated to your ex. If you are concerned about him knowing your checking accounts routing number,make a trip to the bank and simply close the account,they will gladly transfer your funds to a new checking account in a matter of minutes. The wisest option would be to bite the bullet for the next few months until your financial state improves or ask your mom for help.Your canceled check is proof the loan has been repaid,consider it a done deal and move on.Keeping your financial dealings private and secure means keeping your passwords and account information to yourself.

Fully agreed.

[ILuvShopping]

do not let him give you money back. that will cause a huge mess IF he decided to screw you over. you have proof you gave him the money because you wrote a check. he can not come back to you and claim you never paid it.
i also don't think it's right of you to go into his account, even if he hasn't changed his password, however i don't think it would be a bad idea to take a screen shot showing how much is owed, just in case the proof is ever needed that at this time you paid him exactly what was owed.

you may hurt financially for the next couple of months but its a lot better than owing someone money that you can't trust.

be done with it and walk away.

[amymarie]

It's not like I recently became an ex, I been an ex since Feb and still had access to the account to pay the bill. It's not a big deal for me to check the balance one last time, maybe I needed to make sure I paid him in full or to see if my last payment went through.

Anyways, he keeps saying he will give me 2 checks for the money back on the 15th and 30th, but I told him I don't want it. He told me to take it back so I will STOP WHINING. I just wanted to tell him how I felt and that I thought it was unfair and shady. But also to keep the money, I never asked for it back. I want nothing to do with him.

[Cat]

Originally Posted by ILuvShopping

i also don't think it's right of you to go into his account, even if he hasn't changed his password, however i don't think it would be a bad idea to take a screen shot showing how much is owed, just in case the proof is ever needed that at this time you paid him exactly what was owed.

What she did was wrong in every sense of the word,her name isn't on this account,the screen shot is a horrible idea and would succeed in making her look even worse should something like this end up in a court of law,afterall this is her ex's private account.The burden of proof would fall on her ex bf and he would be expected to access that information for a court not her.The couple in this scenerio weren't married and even if they had been unless the account was a joint one she'd still be in the wrong.

[ILuvShopping]

she's not completely in the wrong because he GAVE her the password. i honestly think it's not very smart on his part to keep allowing her to get into that account.

[Cat]

Originally Posted by ILuvShopping

she's not completely in the wrong because he GAVE her the password. i honestly think it's not very smart on his part to keep allowing her to get into that account.

I've read no where in this thread where she stated he gave her his password only that she knew it and used it to access his private info.If however he gave it to her it was a foolish move on his part.The fact still remains they are no longer a couple.Why anyone in the world would think this is acceptable behavior is beyond me.

[Aslan]

Originally Posted by amymarie

Anyways, he keeps saying he will give me 2 checks for the money back on the 15th and 30th, but I told him I don't want it. He told me to take it back so I will STOP WHINING. I just wanted to tell him how I felt and that I thought it was unfair and shady. But also to keep the money, I never asked for it back. I want nothing to do with him.

Very mature of you. If he asks you again to take it back, say he said that he wanted to be done, and so do you.

[amymarie]

Originally Posted by Cat

I've read no where in this thread where she stated he gave her his password only that she knew it and used it to access his private info.If however he gave it to her it was a foolish move on his part.The fact still remains they are no longer a couple.Why anyone in the world would think this is acceptable behavior is beyond me.

I think you're misunderstanding, of course he gave me the password to have access to the account so I can pay the bill every month. It was a mistake to be in this whole situation in the first place but....He offered to let me use the card WHEN we were together. I always had the password to go online and pay the card every month. We broke up in Feb and I continued to pay it monthly by going online. He also let me put additional $500 on it a couple months ago, WHEN WE WERE BROKEN UP. The plan was to continue to pay it monthly for 18 months, like I been doing. Then one day he got mad and said, nope PAY ME ALL of it now. So I did not do anything wrong by going into his account, I had access all this time.

[Cat]

Originally Posted by amymarie

I think you're misunderstanding, of course he gave me the password to have access to the account so I can pay the bill every month. It was a mistake to be in this whole situation in the first place but....He offered to let me use the card WHEN we were together. I always had the password to go online and pay the card every month. We broke up in Feb and I continued to pay it monthly by going online. He also let me put additional $500 on it a couple months ago, WHEN WE WERE BROKEN UP. The plan was to continue to pay it monthly for 18 months, like I been doing. Then one day he got mad and said, nope PAY ME ALL of it now. So I did not do anything wrong by going into his account, I had access all this time.

amymarie,Thanks for clearing up the misunderstanding.I must agree with you it's a mistake to have put yourself in this type of situation.The problems that can arise from borrowing money be it from a bf or friend in general without written terms of repayment can turn out to be a big mistake,hindsight is 20/20.

Once your ex requested full payment and you paid him off by check you should have forgotten his password and stopped viewing his account,that's where the wrong doing came into play.

For your sake I hope you refuse his offer to return some of the money you paid toward the loan,chalk it up to lesson learned and move on to greener pastures.Best Of Luck!