Welcome to The Purse Forum.

amymarie · Oct 11th, 2009, 07:27 PM

Originally Posted by turboflgrl

Honestly, I don't see any reason why he couldn't demand the money from you in a lump sum upon you two splitting up. Unless you had a written contract together that stated that you could pay him over the course of 18 months, I don't see how it's that unreasonable? If my ex used my credit to purchase something, I would want it paid in full as well so I wouldn't have to keep my ex in my life and hope he stayed true to his word for 18 months.

Now, do I think that he is possibly using the money for something else? Yes. But is it really any of your business? It's his credit, not yours. The money you paid him was due to him anyway. If he doesn't use it to pay off the bill, that's his problem. Did you get anything in writing about the debt being paid? A receipt or something? Be very careful because if you didn't, he could come back and claim you never paid him.

Just be happy he's out of your life and you don't have a bill reminding you of him every month. That alone would make me happy. As others have said, your mother can help you so it's worth being in a supposed "bad spot" for a couple months..

Well I will be honest, part of it was from when we were TOGETHER and part of it he let me use just a couple months ago while we were BROKEN UP, he OFFERED me to use the card b/c he knew I needed to get a laptop...

coronita · Oct 11th, 2009, 07:49 PM

As much as you may not like your ex, you can't fault him for wanting his money back. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Let him keep the money and sort out your finances. Just be done with him! You don't want this hanging over your head and running your mood and your chances of moving on. If you really need money, you have your mother available to you.

turboflgrl · Oct 11th, 2009, 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by amymarie

Well I will be honest, part of it was from when we were TOGETHER and part of it he let me use just a couple months ago while we were BROKEN UP, he OFFERED me to use the card b/c he knew I needed to get a laptop...

Well now we're talking about a completely different scenario

I don't get why he would do that and then demand everything up front - or why he would let an ex borrow money in the first place. Did you guys discuss taking it to the full 18 month term? Regardless, in future, I would stay away from borrowing money from ex's, friend's, and even family. It never ends up a positive situation.

SunglassLove · Oct 11th, 2009, 10:42 PM

I'd also watch your account... since he now has the routing numbers.

I would also demand that if the routing numbers are saved to his online CC account, they had better be removed.

I've had many a friend learn the hard way financially that a LOT of ex's just don't care what they do when they become an ex.

LSnyder · Oct 11th, 2009, 11:11 PM

Originally Posted by SunglassLove

I've had many a friend learn the hard way financially that a LOT of ex's just don't care what they do when they become an ex.

ITA!!!! My ex still owes me $400 from a Student Loan I paid off for him while we were together. He initially owed me $500, and paid the first $100 almost 2 years later. HAHA. Got me back into the trap of actually believing him. I do not expect to EVER see that money, and quite frankly don't really want the burden of having to ask him. I would say definately cut your ties with him and just be done with it. It might stink for a few months, but it is better than being financially tied to him for those couple of months. FREEDOM ROCKS!!!

amymarie · Oct 11th, 2009, 11:12 PM

Originally Posted by turboflgrl

Well now we're talking about a completely different scenario

I don't get why he would do that and then demand everything up front - or why he would let an ex borrow money in the first place. Did you guys discuss taking it to the full 18 month term? Regardless, in future, I would stay away from borrowing money from ex's, friend's, and even family. It never ends up a positive situation.

Yeah I def learned not to be in this situation with an ex ever again! I don't know why he did all of this either, but yeah we were supposed to do the whole 18 months b/c that was the only reason why I was getting the stuff in the first place. I want to be done with him now more than ever now that he has done this to me.

domlee · Oct 11th, 2009, 11:55 PM

Pay him back the money. All of it. Then cut all ties from him. After that, get a job to help w/ your money issues.

Gimmethebag · Oct 11th, 2009, 11:57 PM

Fortunately, you paid him by check so he legally cannot claim that you didn't pay off your debt.

If he uses the money for something else and gets hit with finance charges, that's his problem and not yours.

domlee · Oct 12th, 2009, 12:09 AM

Knowingly writing bad checks due to NSF, can be turned against you in court (if he were to take it to that level).

I knew someone, who had to take their ex-gf to court. I'm not fully aware of the details, but I do know that his credit was screwed as a direct result of the ex-gf's failure to pay as she had promised. Because of this, he took her to court, and won because she was negligent. The court garnished her wages (and he is still receiving checks 3 years later!!!). So I wouldn't say it is entirely his problem...

amymarie · Oct 12th, 2009, 12:30 AM

He admitted to me today that yeah he was going to have the money in his account instead and just pay it month by month. He basically thinks I have a lot of money and he didn't think I would be put in this bad spot. He says he will give me back the money if I need it. But still, I am hurt by what he did and want nothing to do with him anymore either.

Cheetah7 · Oct 12th, 2009, 12:53 AM

Originally Posted by amymarie

I don't know whether I should just pay him off now and be done with him forever or take back the money. If I pay him off now, I will be short on cash until my scholarship refund comes in January. I could probably get some help from my mom. I just really don't want anything to do with him either after this situation. What would you do? Thanks!

Just pay it all off and be done with him. That's what I would do. Why prolong it and give him something to hang over your head?

amymarie · Oct 12th, 2009, 01:43 AM

Now he says he will deposit the money back in my account if I feel like I got screwed over. But I said, keep it. and if he deposits it, I will just take it and pay it off online.

nataliam1976 · Oct 12th, 2009, 02:46 AM

Originally Posted by amymarie

Now he says he will deposit the money back in my account if I feel like I got screwed over. But I said, keep it. and if he deposits it, I will just take it and pay it off online.

Good decision. Another red flag is that you had an agreement, then had an argument and he changed his mind just like that. The further you stay away from him the better.

juneping · Oct 12th, 2009, 03:40 PM

it just shows his character...very immature.
i am sure his action make you over him just much faster.
GL!!

plain jane doe · Oct 12th, 2009, 11:50 PM

You are better off being done with it. If he now wants to be irresponsible about the card balance, he will probably end up screwing himself and you will be lucky it's not your headache. I seem to remember you posting somewhere that it's a best buy card. When I had a best buy card, the 0% was subject to a minimum that was NOT the minimum shown on the statement; the terms were also subject to change and did change. Miss any of the minimum payments and suddenly you owed all the interest that was previously waived. I guess since he took the card out to help you, it would be nice to let him know.

Oct 11th, 2009, 07:49 PM	#17
coronita Member Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Jersey Posts: 383	As much as you may not like your ex, you can't fault him for wanting his money back. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Let him keep the money and sort out your finances. Just be done with him! You don't want this hanging over your head and running your mood and your chances of moving on. If you really need money, you have your mother available to you.
	__________________

Oct 11th, 2009, 10:42 PM	#19
SunglassLove Troublemaker! Joined: Jan 2009 Location: Chicago Posts: 360	I'd also watch your account... since he now has the routing numbers. I would also demand that if the routing numbers are saved to his online CC account, they had better be removed. I've had many a friend learn the hard way financially that a LOT of ex's just don't care what they do when they become an ex.
	__________________ banned... cause i'm savin' for vacation! http://www.facebook.com/DanielleRocks

Oct 11th, 2009, 11:57 PM	#23
Gimmethebag Gimme Gimme Gimme Joined: Dec 2008 Location: STL-Nashville-Chicago Posts: 1,108	Fortunately, you paid him by check so he legally cannot claim that you didn't pay off your debt. If he uses the money for something else and gets hit with finance charges, that's his problem and not yours.
	__________________ Add Bubbles To Taste Follow me.

Oct 12th, 2009, 12:30 AM	#25
amymarie OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 246	He admitted to me today that yeah he was going to have the money in his account instead and just pay it month by month. He basically thinks I have a lot of money and he didn't think I would be put in this bad spot. He says he will give me back the money if I need it. But still, I am hurt by what he did and want nothing to do with him anymore either.
amymarie OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 246

Oct 12th, 2009, 01:43 AM	#27
amymarie OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 246	Now he says he will deposit the money back in my account if I feel like I got screwed over. But I said, keep it. and if he deposits it, I will just take it and pay it off online.
amymarie OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 246

Oct 11th, 2009, 11:55 PM	#22
domlee Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 950	Pay him back the money. All of it. Then cut all ties from him. After that, get a job to help w/ your money issues.

Oct 12th, 2009, 12:09 AM	#24
domlee Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 950	Knowingly writing bad checks due to NSF, can be turned against you in court (if he were to take it to that level). I knew someone, who had to take their ex-gf to court. I'm not fully aware of the details, but I do know that his credit was screwed as a direct result of the ex-gf's failure to pay as she had promised. Because of this, he took her to court, and won because she was negligent. The court garnished her wages (and he is still receiving checks 3 years later!!!). So I wouldn't say it is entirely his problem...

Oct 12th, 2009, 03:40 PM	#29
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,332	it just shows his character...very immature. i am sure his action make you over him just much faster. GL!!
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Oct 12th, 2009, 11:50 PM	#30
plain jane doe Member Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,568	You are better off being done with it. If he now wants to be irresponsible about the card balance, he will probably end up screwing himself and you will be lucky it's not your headache. I seem to remember you posting somewhere that it's a best buy card. When I had a best buy card, the 0% was subject to a minimum that was NOT the minimum shown on the statement; the terms were also subject to change and did change. Miss any of the minimum payments and suddenly you owed all the interest that was previously waived. I guess since he took the card out to help you, it would be nice to let him know.
plain jane doe Member Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,568

Welcome to The Purse Forum.

Our Purse Forum, or TPF, is the #1 online social network for everything designer handbag related. Join over 200,000 enthusiastic members in this friendly community and start engaging in the discussion today.