[LOVELINDT]

ok so i just turned 17....and my bfs 24 this yr

when friends ask me how old my bf is and i tell them "24" they give me wierd faces...

i am the type of girl that admire older men especially the ones just graduated from uni or still in uni

most of my ex's were all in yr 3 uni doing law or accounting

i just dont get why ppl will give me wierd faces when i tell them im dating a guy 5-7 yrs older than me

ive always been the mature one and i love intelligent men... mind you, all my relationships with my ex's were all serious and they went with them for pretty long..

i dont get how ppl will say that we have no common interests or friends or common topics to talk about... most of my friends i am around are all 20+ it just the ppl at school are giving me a hard time

ive been with my current bf for 6 months now...and his always over at my place and he gets along with my family and we talk abt everything together! sometimes we even hit the clubs when we are bored of just go down to the pubs with his friends

his friends accept me and never say anything abt my age..my friends at skool always gives me looks when we talk about my bf

is there something wrong with them? or me and my bf dating? cos i can assure u theres nothing wrong with me...i just seem to get along with older men

[b00mbaka]

No, there's nothing wrong with your friends. His friends probably react the same way, just not to your face. Although you see it differently because you are in the situation, to outsiders it seems kind of weird. Try to step outside and see what they see. Imagine a senior in high school dating an 8th grader.

[digby723]

Well, I can understand a persons prefrence for an older guy (normally more mature) but, to be honest, you're 17 and he's 24. I would assume that he's in school, or, has recently graduated, which means that while he's done or about to be done, you're just going to be starting. And that's a long 4-6 years. And during that time, your college years, you really should be out there, experiencing new things and making new friends. Versus your b/f will probably be wanting, or at least possibly thinking, about marriage soon. And that's something that you really should do after you're done with school. Your tastes will change so much from now until then, and I'm sure your friends are just thinking that this will not last and that is why they do not accept this relationship.

You say your parents are ok with this relationship? How long have you been dating this guy? And you said that you have dated older guys in college before...how old were you then?

[LOVELINDT]

Originally Posted by digby723

You say your parents are ok with this relationship? How long have you been dating this guy? And you said that you have dated older guys in college before...how old were you then?

im been with this guy for 6 months now..i was 15 when i started dating older guys.

[karman]

I don't see a true problem of dating older guys. I was 16 when I started dating my boyfriend, who was 20 at the time. It's not as big of a gap as you and your boyfriend's, but I thought 3.5 years is perfectly fine and I would do so up to about 6 years. Any older and there may be TOO different of values and wants (like someone said, I'd be still in school when he wants to get married).

Perhaps your friends give you weird look because you're not fully an adult and you ARE dating an adult? I know most of the people I went to school with just dated people within the school, so usually the gap is only 2-3 years max.

As long as he's not doing anything you don't want him to (doesn't sound like it from your post) I don't see a real problem...but since you're not 18 yet you shouldn't really be hitting clubs and pubs. Not sure where you live, but don't you have a few years to go before you are legal?

[Jill]

As a mom..yes,it bothers me!
I think it DOES make a difference when the age is betwen a MINOR and an ADULT...for one thing,its ILLEGAL in some states.I have an 18 yr old who is dating a 30 yr old that i cant STAND....he is like a pedophile in my eyes(he met her when she was 16)
It bothers me alot too because u guys r at different stages in life and at his age,i wonder why he doesnt date someone his age?KWIM?
Im not bashing u..its just a super sensitive subject with me as my daughter got pregnant and had a baby with the 30 yr old...sigh
I just feel like its NOT about U being very mature to date older men,,its MORE about why is HE so immature to be dating a minor.???
True..your BF may b a sweetheart BUT my daughters BF is a freakin NIGHTMARE from HEL*.I hope it works out for u.......Im just putting MY point of view here for u to see.not judging.....at all.JUST concerned!!!Good luck!

[QueenOfDa702]

Dont worry about it. Screw what other people think. My SO is 7 years older than me, we've been dating since I was 16, and we are still dating almost 6 years later! Age isnt anything but a number, its your personalities that count. As long as you click, it shouldnt matter what the age difference is.
Also, what is the legal age of consent in your State? I think the negative reactions you are getting is because you arent legal. Here in Nevada, 16 is the legal age. Another thing you need to ask yourself is, are you trying to compensate for something you are missing in your life? Like a Father figure? That could be an issue. But, if you two just seriously get along, love being around each other, then who cares!

The bigger question is, how are you getting into clubs?

[burberryprncess]

People react negatively because you're a minor dating an adult. The age gap wouldn't be a problem if you were older.....an adult. Yes, in most states, it is illegal to date a minor. As a mother myself, I would have a problem with this if my boys (when they are adults) date a minor.

[LOVELINDT]

Originally Posted by Jill

I just feel like its NOT about U being very mature to date older men,,its MORE about why is HE so immature to be dating a minor.???

i NEVER thought about it this way...

Originally Posted by QueenOfDa702

The bigger question is, how are you getting into clubs?

you know how asians all look the same and with a little make up you can look like your 20 and i borrow a friends ID

[leothelnss]

I see nothing wrong with it, so long as you're careful.
When DH and I started dating I had just turned 17 a month before. We dated for a little over a year and then got married, we've been married now for almost 2 years.
When I was 14, however, I dated a 20 year old college student and it didn't take me too long to figure out why he was interested in me. We didn't have a whole heckuvalot in common, and after a couple of months we broke up.
You sound like a smart girl, I'm sure you can figure out for yourself if he is good for you or not. Don't take the judgements too seriously, just try to make good decisions as you are in an adult relationship.
Now, I'm not going to lecture you what I think about young girls having sex, but I personally think that in any relationship, but especially one with a signifigantly older man (and at your age or younger, it's a pretty signifigant difference) you need to wait a while. You'll know when it's right, but if you start right off-the-bat at a young age with an older guy, it can be more difficult to see what his intentions are, IMO.
Good luck!

[QueenOfDa702]

MMk well, here is the issue Im having, he shouldnt be having you in bars and clubs. Although he is older, and you are mature, he still needs to respect the fact that you cant do all of the things he can.

My SO never encouraged me to do anything illegal. I never stepped foot into a club before I was 18, he never bought me alcohol, he never encouraged me to get a fake ID, etc. He ALWAYS respected the fact that I wasnt old enough to do all of those things, so we found alternative ways to have fun.

Dont get me wrong, he was happy as hell when I was finally able to do things lol, but he always understood why I couldnt.

Not to mention, if you get caught...

[LOVELINDT]

Originally Posted by leothelnss

I see nothing wrong with it, so long as you're careful.
When DH and I started dating I had just turned 17 a month before. We dated for a little over a year and then got married, we've been married now for almost 2 years.
When I was 14, however, I dated a 20 year old college student and it didn't take me too long to figure out why he was interested in me. We didn't have a whole heckuvalot in common, and after a couple of months we broke up.
You sound like a smart girl, I'm sure you can figure out for yourself if he is good for you or not. Don't take the judgements too seriously, just try to make good decisions as you are in an adult relationship.
Now, I'm not going to lecture you what I think about young girls having sex, but I personally think that in any relationship, but especially one with a signifigantly older man (and at your age or younger, it's a pretty signifigant difference) you need to wait a while. You'll know when it's right, but if you start right off-the-bat at a young age with an older guy, it can be more difficult to see what his intentions are, IMO.
Good luck!

aww thanks..im so happy most of you are so supportive..i just smiled so hard just then

[LOVELINDT]

Originally Posted by QueenOfDa702

MMk well, here is the issue Im having, he shouldnt be having you in bars and clubs. Although he is older, and you are mature, he still needs to respect the fact that you cant do all of the things he can.

My SO never encouraged me to do anything illegal. I never stepped foot into a club before I was 18, he never bought me alcohol, he never encouraged me to get a fake ID, etc. He ALWAYS respected the fact that I wasnt old enough to do all of those things, so we found alternative ways to have fun.

Dont get me wrong, he was happy as hell when I was finally able to do things lol, but he always understood why I couldnt.

Not to mention, if you get caught...

yeah his like that too...but before i met him i would sometimes just go clubbing once every 2 months and i enjoyed having fun girls only nights but we rarely go down to the clubs...only when theres a close friends birthday or just go for the pool tables and chill!

[leothelnss]

Originally Posted by LOVELINDT

aww thanks..im so happy most of you are so supportive..i just smiled so hard just then

LOL I just came back to this thread and realized I forgot to mention our age difference, he is 27 now and I'm 19. When we started dating I was 17 and he was 24. Our age difference doesn't even come to mind anymore!

[elizat]

Originally Posted by Jill

I think it DOES make a difference when the age is betwen a MINOR and an ADULT...for one thing,its ILLEGAL in some states.
It bothers me alot too because u guys r at different stages in life and at his age,i wonder why he doesnt date someone his age?KWIM?
I just feel like its NOT about U being very mature to date older men,,its MORE about why is HE so immature to be dating a minor.???

I agree. I am in my 20's, heading toward late 20's and I think it would be bizarre to hear of a man close to my age (26-28) dating a 17 or 18 year old. I think your age gap is a lot too and I do wonder what his issues are- why does he not date women his own age? There are huge life changes that occur from graduation of high school and college years. If you were both adults, that is another story. I've dated men that were 7-8 years older than me, in their 30's, but I'm also in a very different place in my life than you are, as a 17 year old with a mid twenties man. I'm not trying to bash you either, but be safe with this and think about it, especially why an adult man wants to date a 17 year old high school student, KWIM?