don't like my bf's friends...

lovinalotofbags · Jun 24th, 2008, 05:16 PM

Yeah, but to be inconsiderate of you in your home and messy. I do not agree. I will always speak up. I will never live in an uncomfortable situation again. Being uncomfortable for the sake of a man. That is like staying with someone and not trying to rock the boat so they will not get mad and yell at you or hit you. If he really cares about her and is mature, he will take this into consideration and say something to his friends. Why should she have to leave when they come over. What if they come over several times a week, they should run her out of her home. Your home is your haven, where you should have peace and be safe.

Japster · Jun 24th, 2008, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jhazn85

i've always heard that when you don't like your boyfriend's friends, it's a bad sign. i've been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years and i just don't like most of his friends. i don't know why, they are just all so immature and annoying, and when they come over to our apartment, they are inconsiderate and are messy and do whatever the hell they want. my bf gets sooooo defensive about them--he's the type of guy who will do anything for his friends, which is also annoying.

I'll be straight forward with you as someone that has been married awhile.
You are NOT going to like all of your bf's friends. Some people have this delusion that there should be this big happy friendship and everyone's friends will like everyone. It just doesn't always work that way. I've been married 8 years and there are some friends of my husband's that I love to pieces and others that I think are very narcissistic and "farty." But I eventually learned that they are important to HIM and he needs that time with him. There are also friends of mine that he doesn't really "mesh" with. Thank g-d... I like my space and he would drive me nuts being a third wheel.

So you will eventually have to learn that you will NOT have a successful relationship together (or with ANY dude) if you are critical or demanding about his friends. You should take a class or join a group involving a hobby of yours during that time that he spends with his friends. This will help you meet people in your new area.

Best of luck to you!

kbell · Jun 25th, 2008, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Japster

I'll be straight forward with you as someone that has been married awhile.
You are NOT going to like all of your bf's friends. Some people have this delusion that there should be this big happy friendship and everyone's friends will like everyone. It just doesn't always work that way. I've been married 8 years and there are some friends of my husband's that I love to pieces and others that I think are very narcissistic and "farty." But I eventually learned that they are important to HIM and he needs that time with him. There are also friends of mine that he doesn't really "mesh" with. Thank g-d... I like my space and he would drive me nuts being a third wheel.

So you will eventually have to learn that you will NOT have a successful relationship together (or with ANY dude) if you are critical or demanding about his friends. You should take a class or join a group involving a hobby of yours during that time that he spends with his friends. This will help you meet people in your new area.

Best of luck to you!

I agree. Hopefully you'll make some friends in the area soon and can have your own time as well.

artjen · Jun 25th, 2008, 09:58 AM

How old is he? How old are his friends? I agree that this is something that will mellow out with age. My husband is 12 years older than me and he sees guy friends to play golf or go to a baseball game occasionally. Once in a while a guy friend will come over. But when I was younger it seemed like my SO's had lots of guy friends and had that need to hang out and be goofy. I don't know....I would probably not say anything unless someone is being outright rude or mean to you in some way. They are his friends and he will feel resentful if he feels like he has to give them up at all. Maybe you can pick one or two of his friends to become better friends with? sometimes a person one-on-one can make a difference. You may find that he is a great person and maybe that will help this situation?

Jun 24th, 2008, 05:16 PM	#16
lovinalotofbags In for the long haul Location: South Carolina	Yeah, but to be inconsiderate of you in your home and messy. I do not agree. I will always speak up. I will never live in an uncomfortable situation again. Being uncomfortable for the sake of a man. That is like staying with someone and not trying to rock the boat so they will not get mad and yell at you or hit you. If he really cares about her and is mature, he will take this into consideration and say something to his friends. Why should she have to leave when they come over. What if they come over several times a week, they should run her out of her home. Your home is your haven, where you should have peace and be safe. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Jun 25th, 2008, 09:58 AM	#19
artjen Young @ Art Location: Arizona	How old is he? How old are his friends? I agree that this is something that will mellow out with age. My husband is 12 years older than me and he sees guy friends to play golf or go to a baseball game occasionally. Once in a while a guy friend will come over. But when I was younger it seemed like my SO's had lots of guy friends and had that need to hang out and be goofy. I don't know....I would probably not say anything unless someone is being outright rude or mean to you in some way. They are his friends and he will feel resentful if he feels like he has to give them up at all. Maybe you can pick one or two of his friends to become better friends with? sometimes a person one-on-one can make a difference. You may find that he is a great person and maybe that will help this situation?