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MiuMiow · Oct 9th, 2009, 09:57 AM

A lady at the place I work gets beaten by her husband. She's on breakfast and I'm on the front desk so we don't talk a whole lot but this fact is quite common knowledge.
Last week, she collapsed at home with a bloodclot on the brain and has been in an induced coma since then.
Obviously it is possible that this is just a horrible accident but I can't escape the thought that her husband is involved somehow. I can't stop thinking that it is awfully 'coincidental' that this has happened. Even if he didn't beat her just then, it cannot have helped that he did so before.

Should I inform someone in law enforcement? I'm only an outsider, I have nowhere near all the info but this is eating at me. The husband has decided that she is to have no visitors at all. I can understand, since she is in ICU but again, knowing what you know about the man, it comes across as odd.

It feels like a bad Lifetime movie, what should I do?

Prada Psycho · Oct 9th, 2009, 10:35 AM

In the professional world, you are required to report suspected abuse to either the police or the Department of Social Services. As to being a private citizen and reporting, I'd imagine it would still apply. If there are others that work with you and are willing to report your suspicions, I'd certainly hope you would. Too many women die from abuse because people are afraid to say anything.

ilovepinkhearts · Oct 9th, 2009, 10:41 AM

definitely report it...if by chance she dies and he was the one that did it....

i hope she does make a full recovery and gets away from him.

NYCBelle · Oct 9th, 2009, 10:47 AM

can you try and report it anonymously to the police? try calling the police to find out...maybe go to a pay phone if you don't want it traced. hopefully the doctors at the hospital are noticing that she has physical signs of domestic abuse. i hope your co-worker gets better. very sad

Ginrei76 · Oct 9th, 2009, 11:18 AM

That is sad and horrible. You need to report the abuse. I pray your co-worker recovers.

June343 · Oct 9th, 2009, 01:41 PM

I saw something VERY similar on oprah, and the co-worker kept documents about the diff marks and bruises, and the co-worker helped put him in jail MUCH longer, they used her documents in court, I would start there, and then report it, and keep taking documents of what you see , even after

missbanff · Oct 9th, 2009, 01:45 PM

Definitely report it....then at least you know you tried to help this poor woman.

Velvet Blue · Oct 9th, 2009, 03:49 PM

Report it.. I'm praying for her.

In the long run it could save her life.

Swanky Mama Of Three · Oct 9th, 2009, 04:02 PM

I couldn't live w/ my self if I didn't report it.

ProfNot · Oct 9th, 2009, 05:00 PM

Originally Posted by Swanky Mama Of Three

I couldn't live w/ my self if I didn't report it.

Me, too. Absolutely.

But if I had kids at home I would worry about retaliation and their safety. I'd still report but be super careful about it.

Perhaps that is the reason for your hesitation?

If so -
(Piggybacking on the anonymous call idea)

If your co-workers also know about the abuse, can you get the police to sign something saying your names will never be used in court documents or anything?

This *&^% needs to be jailed for life.
(I was going to say animal but animals are kinder - even the most violent carnivores.)

redney · Oct 9th, 2009, 05:18 PM

Yes, definitely report it to the authorities. I hope she gets better and is able to get out of her abusive marriage.

There's a sticky in the R&F subforum with phone numbers of places that can help her. Resources, Info & Hotlines for Domestic Abuse, Suicide, Violence, Etc.

natalie78 · Oct 9th, 2009, 05:23 PM

By all means, report it! Many times, I have had no idea that someone that I was investigating was involved in abuse (either as the victim or abuser) until a third party called to let me know. If he is responsible for her condition, do not let him get away with it.

chaz · Oct 9th, 2009, 06:27 PM

Report it, do it anonymously if you feel better doing so, but do it. Best of luck to you, and sending prayers your co-worker will recover ok.

olialm1 · Oct 9th, 2009, 07:13 PM

Report it for her sake. Clearly she is too scared to get help on her own so someone on the outside must intervene. What he is doing is wrong and she does not deserve it! You can remain anonymous. Please report it.

ShimmaPuff · Oct 9th, 2009, 08:59 PM

I would get in touch with a local org that works with women who are extricating themselves from abusive situations.

They will be able to give you guidance specific to your community, and tell you how and when to document what, and who should receive it, as well as give you professional advice with regard to what if anything you should say to the victim.

Eyes on the prize - do whatever you can to achieve the goal of her safety!

Oct 9th, 2009, 09:57 AM	#1
MiuMiow OP Member Joined: May 2008 Posts: 541	Domestic abuse dilemma A lady at the place I work gets beaten by her husband. She's on breakfast and I'm on the front desk so we don't talk a whole lot but this fact is quite common knowledge. Last week, she collapsed at home with a bloodclot on the brain and has been in an induced coma since then. Obviously it is possible that this is just a horrible accident but I can't escape the thought that her husband is involved somehow. I can't stop thinking that it is awfully 'coincidental' that this has happened. Even if he didn't beat her just then, it cannot have helped that he did so before. Should I inform someone in law enforcement? I'm only an outsider, I have nowhere near all the info but this is eating at me. The husband has decided that she is to have no visitors at all. I can understand, since she is in ICU but again, knowing what you know about the man, it comes across as odd. It feels like a bad Lifetime movie, what should I do?
MiuMiow OP Member Joined: May 2008 Posts: 541

Oct 9th, 2009, 10:35 AM	#2
Prada Psycho Touch My Prada & Die Joined: Jul 2006 Location: ♥ North Carolina ♥ Posts: 13,266	In the professional world, you are required to report suspected abuse to either the police or the Department of Social Services. As to being a private citizen and reporting, I'd imagine it would still apply. If there are others that work with you and are willing to report your suspicions, I'd certainly hope you would. Too many women die from abuse because people are afraid to say anything.
	__________________ *SWEET SAM, FOREVER IN MY HEART* http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/SAM068/Resident.htm

Oct 9th, 2009, 10:41 AM	#3
ilovepinkhearts team edward. always. Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 4,390	definitely report it...if by chance she dies and he was the one that did it.... i hope she does make a full recovery and gets away from him.
	__________________ Please educate yourself about pancreatic cancer, and then share that knowledge with a loved one. http://www.pancan.org i will lose the weight...1 lb at a time!! i CAN do it! i'm not sure how many lbs to go - skinny jeans here i come!!

Oct 9th, 2009, 10:47 AM	#4
NYCBelle Yahtzee anyone?? Joined: Oct 2006 Location: 57th & 5th Ave Posts: 5,531	can you try and report it anonymously to the police? try calling the police to find out...maybe go to a pay phone if you don't want it traced. hopefully the doctors at the hospital are noticing that she has physical signs of domestic abuse. i hope your co-worker gets better. very sad
	__________________ "Is there blood in my hair?" On a serious ban...Have a wedding to plan

Oct 9th, 2009, 01:45 PM	#7
missbanff is a hipster dufus Joined: May 2007 Location: on the Peterman Reality Tour Posts: 4,302	Definitely report it....then at least you know you tried to help this poor woman.
	__________________ Please help support the elephants http://www.elephants.com/index.php

Oct 9th, 2009, 11:18 AM	#5
Ginrei76 Member Joined: Jul 2009 Location: South Texas Posts: 102	That is sad and horrible. You need to report the abuse. I pray your co-worker recovers.

Oct 9th, 2009, 01:41 PM	#6
June343 Member Joined: Aug 2007 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 118	I saw something VERY similar on oprah, and the co-worker kept documents about the diff marks and bruises, and the co-worker helped put him in jail MUCH longer, they used her documents in court, I would start there, and then report it, and keep taking documents of what you see , even after

Oct 9th, 2009, 03:49 PM	#8
Velvet Blue Member Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 164	Report it.. I'm praying for her. In the long run it could save her life.
Velvet Blue Member Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 164

Oct 9th, 2009, 04:02 PM	#9
Swanky Mama Of Three Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas Area Posts: 42,709	I couldn't live w/ my self if I didn't report it.
	__________________ Tweet http://twitter.com/PBSwanky

Oct 9th, 2009, 05:18 PM	#11
redney Lovin' Life! Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,744	Yes, definitely report it to the authorities. I hope she gets better and is able to get out of her abusive marriage. There's a sticky in the R&F subforum with phone numbers of places that can help her. Resources, Info & Hotlines for Domestic Abuse, Suicide, Violence, Etc.
redney Lovin' Life! Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,744

Oct 9th, 2009, 05:23 PM	#12
natalie78 Dave's not here Joined: May 2008 Location: Texas Posts: 1,654	By all means, report it! Many times, I have had no idea that someone that I was investigating was involved in abuse (either as the victim or abuser) until a third party called to let me know. If he is responsible for her condition, do not let him get away with it.
	__________________ I consider myself a good judge of people and that's why I don't like any of them. ~Roseanne

Oct 9th, 2009, 06:27 PM	#13
chaz Superstar DJ Joined: Sep 2007 Location: Blissful!! Posts: 14,162	Report it, do it anonymously if you feel better doing so, but do it. Best of luck to you, and sending prayers your co-worker will recover ok.
	__________________

Oct 9th, 2009, 07:13 PM	#14
olialm1 windy city Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Chicago Posts: 1,543	Report it for her sake. Clearly she is too scared to get help on her own so someone on the outside must intervene. What he is doing is wrong and she does not deserve it! You can remain anonymous. Please report it.
	__________________ make a difference! free rice

Oct 9th, 2009, 08:59 PM	#15
ShimmaPuff Sentient Post Whore Joined: Oct 2006 Location: Earth Posts: 9,616	I would get in touch with a local org that works with women who are extricating themselves from abusive situations. They will be able to give you guidance specific to your community, and tell you how and when to document what, and who should receive it, as well as give you professional advice with regard to what if anything you should say to the victim. Eyes on the prize - do whatever you can to achieve the goal of her safety!
	__________________ http://www.tzuchi.org/ http://www.commongroundrelief.org http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com/chooseagift.aspx Your Friendly Resident Poor Person Embrace Inspired Pride! Experimental Blog Follow Me on Twitter

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