Do you pick out your own birthday gift?

[Minda]

DH, for the past few years, has been asking me specifically what I wanted for my birthday. He says he never knows what to get for me, and does not want to make an expensive mistake.

In our early years of marriage, DH would wreck his brains and his observation powers to find out what I was obsessing about, and always surprise me with a wonderful gift that I would like.

My obsessions are well known to him (purses, jewelry, clothes, shoes etc). I can't help saying that I am a tiny bit disappointed that DH does not want to go through the effort of picking out a gift for me, but I know that on the practical side of things, it is safer to have me just tell him what I want and get it.

What do you think?

[vhdos]

birthdays, christmas, anniversary, etc. - I pick them all. Sure, he knows what I like, but not the specifics. I wouldn't expect him to. I'm not disappointed at all. I consider it gift-giving made easy. He picks out his gifts too.

[carterazo]

DH has never been good at picking out gifts for me (he is a great guy, though), so lately I have just been asking for $$$ and I put it towards what I want - usually a purse. The other day I mentioned that I had walked away from a very pretty dress and he instantly said, "get it, it will be part of my anniversary gift to you". No, he didn't make the effort to buy it for me, but I always embrace any opportunity to shop, so I was glad to get it myself.

I say, give him a short list of items he can choose from or ask for $$$ you can use as you please and then say, "look at what you got me".... The important thing to me is that he is remembering the special occasion ahead of time and is "trying" to figure out what to get. (Equally important is that he does not give anything for the kitchen or the house -unless that is what you really want.)

[plain jane doe]

Can you just tell him you want a surprise? I can understand it being difficult for him if he is not into fashion himself. After all, every girl I know loves purses, jewelry, clothes, and shoes, but few of them like the same items, and they may all seem basically the same to your DH. Even though you liked what he got in the past, if he doesn't know for sure he's getting the right thing then it could be stressful for him when it should be a celebration for both of you. Maybe you can ask him to take more initiative in an area where he can be confident, like planning a dinner or a getaway instead of a gift.

[linpaddy]

This is not a big deal to fret over.

Most men are clueless about fashion and gift-giving!

Just pick your own gift and let him buy it! You'll be guaranteed a good gift and he can brag!!

[HOTasFCUK]

I always pick out my own gifts because what we each like is different. For my bday in March, my boyfriend took me shopping & i got to pick out a pair of R&R jeans i wanted for so long & a really nice Coach purse we both liked. He was happy to see me happy with my purchases and whenever i wear the jeans or carry the bag, he always asks "Is that the one i bought for you?". He's happy when i show them off and of course my ass looks great in those jeans too so its a win win situation for us LOL

I would still love for him to surprise me with something but its just not his style and i accept that. Actually, he surprised me a few months ago with a nice professional hair straightner after mine short-circuited (i even used the volt convertor) on our vacation in Cuba & i was upset. So i thought that was sweet of him to think of me like that.

I also have a feeling i may have to pick out my own engagement ring but that is the only thing i want to be surprised about so i warned him he better pick one out himself, of course after i show him what i like :P

[cheermom09]

Not normally, but after the purse my dh gave me for Christmas last year I thought it was about time he got some help from me! So, for my birthday I sent him an email with links to two Tiffany necklaces I liked.

To my surprise, he got me both of them! I'll be sending him suggestions from now on.

[LeeMiller]

I love that my DH wants me to pick out my presents, are you kidding? Besides he spends all of 5 minutes picking out his own shoes or clothes, I can only imagine how hard it would be for him to focus in the Chanel department, hahaha, surrounded by those bags.

[karmenzsofia]

If he's asking, tell him. That way you'll get something you like/want. Hek, I wished someone asked me what I want!

[meganfm]

If the surprise means a lot to you-do what my mom does. We go shopping together and I point out/try on a bunch of things I like, then I go elsewhere and she goes back and buys what SHE wants to get me. That way, I get things I like and that fit, but I'm still not 100% sure what I WILL get.

[diamond_lover]

I give my SO a range of gifts I want. I mean he pays attention when I am on TPF and looking at certain Chanel bags or certain items when we walk through the stores/boutiques. Sometimes I specifically pick out my gifts but lately I have been telling him to surprise me and he has come up with very creative things. Things that I like to do such as cooking classes. I don't think its a biggie. You can tell him to surprise you but don't get disappointed if it's not your ideal gift lol.

[lvuittonaddict]

depending on who is doing the gift giving, i sometimes do. If my parents are- i usually pick out what i want. If its my bf, i just let him pick out whatever he wants to get me

[digby723]

I pick all of my gifts from everyone lol. My parents tell me what their limit is on me that year and I hem and haw for about a month and then finally pick something lol. It's just easier than having my parents try to surprise me now that I'm 23 and they never know what I like lol.

As for my b/f I used to tell my mom exactly what I wanted and she'd tell him, but it just got to be easier to go with him lol. He gets a little angry sometimes though because I am a very thoughtful gift giver, and I don't need help or suggestions from him, but he takes me shopping so I know my gifts and he doesn't know his lol. I tell him that it is his fault that he doesn't just go buy me what he knows I will like (make up, pretty nail polish, almost any silver jewelry, etc). I really would prefer to be surprised with my gifts, but I've given up makin him sweat about getting me a great gift when he can't pick up on my clues lol

[plain jane doe]

Somewhat surprised by the uniform responses and also realized I didn't actually answer the question.

So, sort of. For bday, usually SO will take the day off and we will go do something, but because he can be extremely busy, I have had to do the planning. (I would prefer a surprise.) As far as material gifts, I never pick. Actually, I get upset if people do the you pick and I'll pay bit. If I pick out something I like for myself, then I can buy it for myself, I am perfectly happy without material gifts or to receive any gift that had real thought in it, but I don't like when someone feels obligated to give me some token but does not want to put any effort into it or does not in fact know me well enough to be bothering.

[regalis]

When I was younger, not so much, but back then there were more people in my life who gave me gifts on special occasions. Now that it's pretty much limited to my husband, I'm more than happy to prioritise a list of choices for him; like your husband, mine knows my obsessions, but perhaps your DH doesn't always know exactly what you're coveting the most at the time.

I guess what it comes down to is, would you rather be surprised, and possibly receive something that isn't what you wanted most, or forfeit the surprise and get exactly what you want the most.