Do you pick out your own birthday gift?

[yeliab]

Yes!! Then I get exactly what I want. In fact, if I purchase it myself - that's fine too! I just come home and Thank DH for my gift!!

[FaithHope&LVoe]

I've been picking out my own gifts since I was a child lol it eliminates worries

[Minda]

Just wanted to update you all..... so one day before my birthday, we were just casually chatting and DH mentioned that he was clueless what to get me, and asked me to just go and get anything I wanted. I wished firstly that it wasn't so last minute, and it was the way he said it. It was a case of desperation, rather than in a loving way (eg. I really want you to love what I am going to get you, so could you help me pick up your gift.... I wouldn't be mad with that line at all)

I am really upset as he didn't have anything planned for my birthday - not only was there no present, there was no cake, no card whatsoever. He now feels bad (or so I think as he has been rather quiet after I told him I was utterly disappointed). Needless to say I had a lousy birthday and didn't feel special at all. Just wanted to share with my tpf friends........

[plain jane doe]

Aw, sorry you didn't have a good birthday

I think it could help him to explain clearly what you want, not that you have to have the perfect present but you would like him to plan something special. Even if he can't figure out purses, he can figure out dinner reservations and a note. Maybe add some reassurance from you that you will appreciate the thought and not be nitpicking about the exact gesture he chooses.

[KristyDarling]

Minda -- are we married to the same man? Not even a card or cake. You have every right to feel disappointed.

My birthday is next week and last night, I asked DH if I should give him a bday gift wish list. His response, "Yes. Because if you don't, you won't get any gift from me at all." Just like that. Gee, don't I feel special!

I'm sorry your birthday was disappointing. Some men never learn! It's sort of a good thing he feels bad right now - hopefully he'll consider this a lesson learned and actually put forth some effort next time.

ETA: ITA with Plain Jane. This would be worth a conversation. Our husbands are the type who essentially need to be told HOW to make us feel special. Just tell him that you need him to show at least some minimum of effort (cake and card are not that hard!), to show that he remembered and actually cares.

[KristyDarling]

All of this just reminds me of my friends whose husbands actually called me to ask how to best surprise their wives for their birthday. Last month, my friend's husband called me to ask about our recent cruise experience, because he was going to call her boss and request time off so that he could surprise her with a family cruise for her birthday. How's that for thoughtfulness and effort?? Another friend's husband called me and we collaborated on a huge surprise birthday dinner party for her.

Some men are sooo thoughtful and sweet with their wives' birthdays....others, well, not so much. But at the end of the day, we probably didn't marry them for their strength in this particular department! I'm sure your husband has a lot of other things going for him.

[cakegirl]

I send links to specific items to my bf. Then he usually picks from the links, and maybe throws in a small surprise gift. We have always done this in my family as well.
The surprise trip thing would actually bother me! I am too much of a planner.

[Minda]

I think H should read this thread! Thank you all for your kind words.

[bisousx]

Oh yes, I always know what I want. It ruins the surprise element, but I don't need more "stuff" in my life that I'm not gonna use.

[annemerrick]

[QUOTE=HOTasFCUK;12500020]I always pick out my own gifts because what we each like is different. For my bday in March, my boyfriend took me shopping & i got to pick out a pair of R&R jeans i wanted for so long & a really nice Coach purse we both liked. He was happy to see me happy with my purchases and whenever i wear the jeans or carry the bag, he always asks "Is that the one i bought for you?". He's happy when i show them off and of course my ass looks great in those jeans too so its a win win situation for us LOL

This made me laugh!!!!

[annemerrick]

My peeps have started giving me $$$, because I can get so much more for it than they can!!! My birthday was a few weeks ago, and DH, my parents, brother, BF all sent me $$$. I have gotten so many fabulous things at my favorite thrift stores, and had a blast while doing it!!! I would much prefer that. My taste is not necessarily expensive, but it is specific!

[plain jane doe]

Originally Posted by bisousx

Oh yes, I always know what I want. It ruins the surprise element, but I don't need more "stuff" in my life that I'm not gonna use.

I agree with this, but for me I just prefer not to get any presents or to get non-"stuff", e.g., an evening out.

[ami kio]

After a couple years of hits & misses, we've settled on wish lists. We are guaranteed to get something off the wishlist, but non-wishlist gifts are optional.

[~Fabulousity~]

Originally Posted by karmenzsofia

If he's asking, tell him. That way you'll get something you like/want. Hek, I wished someone asked me what I want!