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BigPurseSue · Sep 20th, 2009, 04:34 AM

Originally Posted by Minda

DH, for the past few years, has been asking me specifically what I wanted for my birthday. He says he never knows what to get for me, and does not want to make an expensive mistake.

In our early years of marriage, DH would wreck his brains and his observation powers to find out what I was obsessing about, and always surprise me with a wonderful gift that I would like.

My obsessions are well known to him (purses, jewelry, clothes, shoes etc). I can't help saying that I am a tiny bit disappointed that DH does not want to go through the effort of picking out a gift for me, but I know that on the practical side of things, it is safer to have me just tell him what I want and get it.

What do you think?

Yeah, this has pretty much been the course of our relationship too. When we were dating DH would buy the most *fantastic* gifts for me--gorgeous clothes, wonderful perfume, jewelry, always with chocolates and flowers.

After we got married gift-buying suddenly dropped off a cliff. Lucky to get a scarf or pair of slippers.

By the time we were married 15 years...no more gifts, even for Christmas, shopping seemed to become too much of a struggle for him. Now I say "I'd love a new bottle of perfume for Christmas" and he says "Why don't you go buy one?"

I'm told this is pretty normal.

Not that I really care. I love being married to him. Every day is wonderful. Material things don't matter that much when you get older. Well, o.k., sometimes I wish he would surprise me with a diamond ring.

little LV lover · Sep 20th, 2009, 09:05 AM

Would you rather have him surprise you (with a small chance of let down if you don't like the present he bought for you) or would you rather know what you're getting for your birthday (and know that you'd love it b/c you picked it out)?

It's a tough choice. Sometimes DH and I will go gift shopping together and he always tells me 'It's up to you'. Lol. Sometimes that's no help but at least I know I have his approval.

twin53 · Sep 20th, 2009, 09:58 AM

yes i do

Mimster · Sep 20th, 2009, 10:46 AM

I don't let dh buy my gifts. In the past he tried to surprised with gifts but I wasn't really into them (either ended up exchanging them or using it very rarely) Since early in our relationship, dh knows not buy me jewelery, clothing or handbags. I don't mind really. He tells me to buy my own gift(s) and we both are happy as I get what I want/need and he gets to see how appreciated I am of him.

I am a practical person so most of the things I buy for my birthday ends up being for either him or the kids. My last "gift" from him was a surprised mini vacation for the family. I told him I just wanted a quiet dinner, he said OK and then I booked a family getaway in the mountains. Dinner & breakfast included.

yenanh00 · Sep 20th, 2009, 03:08 PM

Well for the last couple of year, everytime my birthday or any present giving occasion, I get to choose out my present.. Sure DB know what I like, but the problem is that when I see something I like I get it before he even get it.. That give doesnt give him any chance of getting things I want or like.

PinkSuadeSoho · Sep 20th, 2009, 05:51 PM

Yes, and I love knowing that I am receiving exactly what I've had my eye on!

x100pre · Sep 20th, 2009, 06:43 PM

I like to write him a list of 10 things that I really want and he goes and picks, its easy and it works for us

jackie100 · Sep 21st, 2009, 04:15 AM

I actually BUY my own gifts since no one buys me birthday gifts. I'm single and don't have many friends/family. But I'm ok with that.

queennadine · Sep 21st, 2009, 09:24 AM

I always pick out my own gifts, even those from my parents. They also tell me around how much and then I start looking.

I would love for DH to pick something out, but he's just not observant enough without my help. When we went to LV for my bithday, I tried on numerous bags and I think he got overwhelmed with all of the choices.

In the end, we both narrowed it down to the Damier NF MM and the Damier Eva. He liked the Eva better and thought it was more useful at the time, and I agreed...so that's what I got

To make a long story short: if you know exactly what you want, either e-mail him pictures and the link to order (lol) or get it yourself!

Nieners · Sep 21st, 2009, 09:50 AM

My SO never really let's me pick out a birthday gift, if I do... he thinks the gift giving loses it's charm that way

My parents do let me pick out something and that works for me as well. So I don't really mind if I get to pick it out

As long as it's something thoughtful!

KristyDarling · Sep 21st, 2009, 02:18 PM

In our 12 years together, DH has never been a good gift-giver. He has good intentions, but has no desire to spend time brainstorming and shopping. When I talk about the latest jacket, purse, or necklace that I like, his eyes glaze over and I just know he's not listening. He has picked my birthday gift maybe 3 times ever, and I remember them precisely because they were SO unromantic: 2 tank tops off Limited Express sales rack, old lady silver earrings, and a pair of running shoes.

So now he leaves my birthday gift completely up to me, and a lot of the time, I don't pick anything because it doesn't *feel* like a real birthday gift from him. But, I make up for that by buying myself little treats here and there over the year....I figure since he's fine with that approach, it sort of counts as a birthday gift from him. Sorta.

Each year, if he gets me flowers and a card, he's off the hook.

I think I might try the wish list approach, though.

Angelfangs · Sep 21st, 2009, 03:00 PM

That's hardly fun....and he is getting TOO easy!! Give him a list of 5-10 items ranging in price..make sure to include your sizes and color preferences and let HIM do the work. YOU will be surprized and HE will feel like he's "The Man". PS: This always works too and gets you more milage than anything: put down some swanky lingerie from Agent Provocateur or VS or where ever. A "gift" for DH never hurt anything did it?

olialm1 · Sep 21st, 2009, 09:21 PM

My so is so clueless when it comes to gifts so I just point out what I want and am very specific because he always has his head in the clouds. He's also very indecisive when it comes to what he wants so I poke around a bit and figure out what he wants/needs and ask him about it and he gives me the affirmative or negative lol. Last year it was a north face denali coat

Vegas Long Legs · Sep 21st, 2009, 09:28 PM

Yes I do & happier that way. Enjoy the hunt! And I'm very generous too. DH doesn't care, he even asked me last week what I'm getting myself for Christmas this year. lol

Cheetah7 · Sep 22nd, 2009, 05:19 AM

For the last couple of yrs, I've been picking out my own gifts. My DH would take me shopping and we'd get whatever I wanted. My DH has never been good at picking out gifts for me and he actually hates the process of trying to figure out what I want. IMO, I prefer it this way because not only do I get EXACTLY what I want, I don't have to put my husband thru the ordeal of trying to figure out what to get me.

Sep 20th, 2009, 09:58 AM	#18
twin53 Member Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 4,180	yes i do
twin53 Member Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 4,180

Sep 20th, 2009, 10:46 AM	#19
Mimster Very very soon... Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 341	I don't let dh buy my gifts. In the past he tried to surprised with gifts but I wasn't really into them (either ended up exchanging them or using it very rarely) Since early in our relationship, dh knows not buy me jewelery, clothing or handbags. I don't mind really. He tells me to buy my own gift(s) and we both are happy as I get what I want/need and he gets to see how appreciated I am of him. I am a practical person so most of the things I buy for my birthday ends up being for either him or the kids. My last "gift" from him was a surprised mini vacation for the family. I told him I just wanted a quiet dinner, he said OK and then I booked a family getaway in the mountains. Dinner & breakfast included.
Mimster Very very soon... Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 341	__________________ Wishing for MJ Quilted Blake 2.55 Dark Silver/Black Reissue

Sep 20th, 2009, 05:51 PM	#21
PinkSuadeSoho I can't wait, Can U? Joined: Jul 2006 Location: British Properties,Beautiful By Nature! Spectacular by SIGHT! :) Posts: 5,154	Yes, and I love knowing that I am receiving exactly what I've had my eye on!
	__________________ Chanel is an institution, and you have to treat an institution like a whore – and then you get something out of her. -Karl Lagerfeld Follow Karl Lagerfeld on twitter http://twitter.com/Karl_Lagerfeld

Sep 21st, 2009, 04:15 AM	#23
jackie100 Member Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 754	I actually BUY my own gifts since no one buys me birthday gifts. I'm single and don't have many friends/family. But I'm ok with that.
jackie100 Member Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 754

Sep 21st, 2009, 09:24 AM	#24
queennadine Life♥Love♥LV Joined: Dec 2008 Location: in Iggy land! Posts: 1,236	I always pick out my own gifts, even those from my parents. They also tell me around how much and then I start looking. I would love for DH to pick something out, but he's just not observant enough without my help. When we went to LV for my bithday, I tried on numerous bags and I think he got overwhelmed with all of the choices. In the end, we both narrowed it down to the Damier NF MM and the Damier Eva. He liked the Eva better and thought it was more useful at the time, and I agreed...so that's what I got To make a long story short: if you know exactly what you want, either e-mail him pictures and the link to order (lol) or get it yourself!
	__________________ "We can judge the of a man by his treatment of animals." ~ Immanual Kant

Sep 20th, 2009, 09:05 AM	#17
little LV lover Because I can... Joined: Apr 2007 Location: Where do you live? Posts: 1,339	Would you rather have him surprise you (with a small chance of let down if you don't like the present he bought for you) or would you rather know what you're getting for your birthday (and know that you'd love it b/c you picked it out)? It's a tough choice. Sometimes DH and I will go gift shopping together and he always tells me 'It's up to you'. Lol. Sometimes that's no help but at least I know I have his approval.

Sep 20th, 2009, 03:08 PM	#20
yenanh00 Member Joined: Mar 2009 Location: Shoreline, WA Posts: 2,735	Well for the last couple of year, everytime my birthday or any present giving occasion, I get to choose out my present.. Sure DB know what I like, but the problem is that when I see something I like I get it before he even get it.. That give doesnt give him any chance of getting things I want or like.

Sep 20th, 2009, 06:43 PM	#22
x100pre fashionista Joined: Jun 2009 Location: Coral Springs, FL Posts: 26	I like to write him a list of 10 things that I really want and he goes and picks, its easy and it works for us

Sep 21st, 2009, 09:50 AM	#25
Nieners ❀ ♥ Loubounista ♥ ❀ Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Alaska in winter Posts: 2,343	My SO never really let's me pick out a birthday gift, if I do... he thinks the gift giving loses it's charm that way My parents do let me pick out something and that works for me as well. So I don't really mind if I get to pick it out As long as it's something thoughtful!
	__________________ ♥ ''If we never see each other again, and one day, you feel a certain presence beside you... that would be me loving you wherever I am.'' ♥ HG: ❀ Fiorellino's ❀ 39 - 39.5, nude VPs sz 38.5 - 39 UHG: - NP nude mini glitter/gold specchio - Black or Ivory Jaws sz 38.5 - 39

Sep 21st, 2009, 02:18 PM	#26
KristyDarling Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,354	In our 12 years together, DH has never been a good gift-giver. He has good intentions, but has no desire to spend time brainstorming and shopping. When I talk about the latest jacket, purse, or necklace that I like, his eyes glaze over and I just know he's not listening. He has picked my birthday gift maybe 3 times ever, and I remember them precisely because they were SO unromantic: 2 tank tops off Limited Express sales rack, old lady silver earrings, and a pair of running shoes. So now he leaves my birthday gift completely up to me, and a lot of the time, I don't pick anything because it doesn't feel like a real birthday gift from him. But, I make up for that by buying myself little treats here and there over the year....I figure since he's fine with that approach, it sort of counts as a birthday gift from him. Sorta. Each year, if he gets me flowers and a card, he's off the hook. I think I might try the wish list approach, though.
KristyDarling Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,354

Sep 21st, 2009, 03:00 PM	#27
Angelfangs Member Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 65	That's hardly fun....and he is getting TOO easy!! Give him a list of 5-10 items ranging in price..make sure to include your sizes and color preferences and let HIM do the work. YOU will be surprized and HE will feel like he's "The Man". PS: This always works too and gets you more milage than anything: put down some swanky lingerie from Agent Provocateur or VS or where ever. A "gift" for DH never hurt anything did it?
Angelfangs Member Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 65

Sep 21st, 2009, 09:21 PM	#28
olialm1 windy city Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Chicago Posts: 1,543	My so is so clueless when it comes to gifts so I just point out what I want and am very specific because he always has his head in the clouds. He's also very indecisive when it comes to what he wants so I poke around a bit and figure out what he wants/needs and ask him about it and he gives me the affirmative or negative lol. Last year it was a north face denali coat
	__________________ make a difference! free rice

Sep 21st, 2009, 09:28 PM	#29
Vegas Long Legs In an Italian Villa Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 6,091	Yes I do & happier that way. Enjoy the hunt! And I'm very generous too. DH doesn't care, he even asked me last week what I'm getting myself for Christmas this year. lol
	__________________ If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made out of meat? Tom Snyder 1936 -2007 Jane is an oil painting. Her & friends can be found at www.donaldrollerwilson.com

Sep 22nd, 2009, 05:19 AM	#30
Cheetah7 Member Joined: Aug 2009 Location: Here, there and everywhere Posts: 302	For the last couple of yrs, I've been picking out my own gifts. My DH would take me shopping and we'd get whatever I wanted. My DH has never been good at picking out gifts for me and he actually hates the process of trying to figure out what I want. IMO, I prefer it this way because not only do I get EXACTLY what I want, I don't have to put my husband thru the ordeal of trying to figure out what to get me.
	__________________

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