Do you and your SO still have passion?

Schmodi · Jun 27th, 2008, 04:42 PM

I started thinking today that if my boyfriend and I ever get married what we'll do on our honeymoon. How many of you after several years together that get married spend all your time in bed on your honeymoon? Is that even realistic after being together that long? If we stay in bed it will be because we ordered in food and decided to watch some movies, not because we're fondling each other every several hours!

It's not that I don't love my boyfriend, but after 3.5 years together and over 1.5 years living together it's like the excitement is over. Even when we travel we have sex, but it's minimal. We don't have kids (although our dog fulfills this currently), but we both work so much that when we get away we totally decompress.

I'm starting to think about my life and where it's going. Also trying not to read too much into this because I believe there is far more to a relationship than the physical stuff, but when I see my friends date and they're still in that "honeymoon/puppy love" phase I sort of miss it.

Anyone else in a great, committed relationship, but lacking some passion?

Allisonfaye · Jun 27th, 2008, 04:52 PM

Well, I could step up to the plate here. I don't know exactly how to say it. We have never had what I would call sexual chemistry. It is more like love chemistry. But he is able to satisfy me and we have other things in our relationship that I never had with anyone else. Like, I trust him not to cheat. So, I guess I kind of settled in the sexual chemistry part.

Schmodi · Jun 27th, 2008, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Allisonfaye

We have never had what I would call sexual chemistry. It is more like love chemistry. But he is able to satisfy me and we have other things in our relationship that I never had with anyone else.

We're exactly the same. We met back in 2004 and became inseparable. The SO before him though was pure sexual chemistry (although after an engagement found out he was narcissistic and cheating on me left and right).

I have so many great things with my current SO that I've never had with anyone, we're definitely a team, but sometimes I feel sad we don't have that passion either.

Allisonfaye · Jun 27th, 2008, 05:04 PM

I think a lot about it. ALL the men in my family (good looking charming guys and womanizers) cheated. A LOT of the guys I dated who are really fun and obviously very sexual cheated (not necessarily on me). I hate to think you can't have one without the other, but I am not really sure.

pattylauren · Jun 27th, 2008, 05:07 PM

I think you can!

chinadoll724 · Jun 27th, 2008, 05:07 PM

We were JUST talking about this last night- The passion's not always on like it was when we first started dating 5 years ago, but it's def still there! It never was as intense as with my player of an ex (guess we've all had one like that) but this is such a perfect balance I know he'd never cheat on me but there are still times when I catch a glimpse of him looking so cute/hot and my heart flutters a little bit.

nooch · Jun 27th, 2008, 06:12 PM

After four and a half years, it's slowed down somewhat when we're home in our routines (and the recent general suckiness of life hasn't helped at ALL), but for whatever reason, when we're traveling it's like we just met. Something about hotels I guess because even when we stayed in a hotel one night when we were having our floors done and couldn't walk on them it was like vacation sex.

galligator · Jun 27th, 2008, 06:29 PM

Been with my hubby 19 years, married almost 17 of those. Hot crazy passion comes & goes. Life throws things at you. Part of growing with someone involves a deepening intimacy in a relationship that is more than the physical excitement of a younger relationship. And believe me, passion is more than just excitement & intimacy. My hubby said it this way - when he was younger he thought he couldn't live without me; now he knows he can't. We may seem mellow much of the time, but just because it doesn't always look like fireworks to passersby doesn't mean that passion isn't there.

abbygirl · Jun 27th, 2008, 06:52 PM

Well, being married for 27 years, I can honestly say that we have more passion today than we did when we were just dating.

My husband, somewhere along the time, found that passtionate, I love you sex, was much more satisfying than any other.

With that being said, we do have spontanenous sex when he works at home. I just stand at his office door and pull my shirt up.....that's all it takes.

One day that will probably change. Like, when my boobs are hanging to my knees.

illinirdhd · Jun 27th, 2008, 06:55 PM

We have a lot of passion, but not as much sex as I'd like. DH is very huggy and kissy and loving, so I take sex whenever I can get it and try not to dwell on it when he's not in the mood.

Schmodi · Jun 27th, 2008, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by illinirdhd

We have a lot of passion, but not as much sex as I'd like. DH is very huggy and kissy and loving, so I take sex whenever I can get it and try not to dwell on it when he's not in the mood.

Same here, we cuddle all the time, but I'm like "come on". I honestly think if I painted my body to look like a keyboard of a laptop that would do the trick.

bagnshoofetish · Jun 27th, 2008, 09:31 PM

17 years later and we are still all over each other.

Get out your barf bags ladies - he LOVES to cuddle.

Schmodi · Jun 27th, 2008, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

17 years later and we are still all over each other.

Get out your barf bags ladies - he LOVES to cuddle.

Mine likes to cuddle too...he's sort of like a woman when it comes to that.

I just don't know how to get out of our routine of "hey you want to" or whatever clever way of asking...

bagnshoofetish · Jun 27th, 2008, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmodi

Mine likes to cuddle too...he's sort of like a woman when it comes to that.

I just don't know how to get out of our routine of "hey you want to" or whatever clever way of asking...

simple. don't ask. just do.

Schmodi · Jun 27th, 2008, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

simple. don't ask. just do.

Which I've tried and I get told "I'm in the middle of something" or "I'm not in the mood"!!! He works at home and has been really stressed the last year so he works round the clock outside on his computer.

Jun 27th, 2008, 04:42 PM	#1
Schmodi Member Joined: Feb 2007 Location: Greater San Diego Posts: 1,899	Do you and your SO still have passion? I started thinking today that if my boyfriend and I ever get married what we'll do on our honeymoon. How many of you after several years together that get married spend all your time in bed on your honeymoon? Is that even realistic after being together that long? If we stay in bed it will be because we ordered in food and decided to watch some movies, not because we're fondling each other every several hours! It's not that I don't love my boyfriend, but after 3.5 years together and over 1.5 years living together it's like the excitement is over. Even when we travel we have sex, but it's minimal. We don't have kids (although our dog fulfills this currently), but we both work so much that when we get away we totally decompress. I'm starting to think about my life and where it's going. Also trying not to read too much into this because I believe there is far more to a relationship than the physical stuff, but when I see my friends date and they're still in that "honeymoon/puppy love" phase I sort of miss it. Anyone else in a great, committed relationship, but lacking some passion? __________________ Last edited by Schmodi; Jun 27th, 2008 at 04:48 PM.

Jun 27th, 2008, 04:52 PM	#2
Allisonfaye Member Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,962	Well, I could step up to the plate here. I don't know exactly how to say it. We have never had what I would call sexual chemistry. It is more like love chemistry. But he is able to satisfy me and we have other things in our relationship that I never had with anyone else. Like, I trust him not to cheat. So, I guess I kind of settled in the sexual chemistry part. __________________ Ink City, tomato first, white first, violet first, black flat brass first, rouge vif city, white city.

Jun 27th, 2008, 05:04 PM	#4
Allisonfaye Member Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,962	I think a lot about it. ALL the men in my family (good looking charming guys and womanizers) cheated. A LOT of the guys I dated who are really fun and obviously very sexual cheated (not necessarily on me). I hate to think you can't have one without the other, but I am not really sure. __________________ Ink City, tomato first, white first, violet first, black flat brass first, rouge vif city, white city.

Jun 27th, 2008, 05:07 PM	#5
pattylauren fierce Joined: Sep 2007 Location: The beautiful south Posts: 248	I think you can! __________________

Jun 27th, 2008, 06:12 PM	#7
nooch Member Joined: Apr 2008 Location: new mexico via BROOKLYN NY Posts: 1,162	After four and a half years, it's slowed down somewhat when we're home in our routines (and the recent general suckiness of life hasn't helped at ALL), but for whatever reason, when we're traveling it's like we just met. Something about hotels I guess because even when we stayed in a hotel one night when we were having our floors done and couldn't walk on them it was like vacation sex. __________________ FAT AND FABULOUS! CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK NOT THE WAY YOU LOOK! http://www.natreasures.com Authentic American Indian jewelry & crafts All orders ship free PM me for discount codes

Jun 27th, 2008, 05:07 PM	#6
chinadoll724 Member Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,174	We were JUST talking about this last night- The passion's not always on like it was when we first started dating 5 years ago, but it's def still there! It never was as intense as with my player of an ex (guess we've all had one like that) but this is such a perfect balance I know he'd never cheat on me but there are still times when I catch a glimpse of him looking so cute/hot and my heart flutters a little bit.

Jun 27th, 2008, 06:29 PM	#8
galligator Mostly Harmless Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 663	Been with my hubby 19 years, married almost 17 of those. Hot crazy passion comes & goes. Life throws things at you. Part of growing with someone involves a deepening intimacy in a relationship that is more than the physical excitement of a younger relationship. And believe me, passion is more than just excitement & intimacy. My hubby said it this way - when he was younger he thought he couldn't live without me; now he knows he can't. We may seem mellow much of the time, but just because it doesn't always look like fireworks to passersby doesn't mean that passion isn't there.

Jun 27th, 2008, 06:52 PM	#9
abbygirl Member Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 948	Well, being married for 27 years, I can honestly say that we have more passion today than we did when we were just dating. My husband, somewhere along the time, found that passtionate, I love you sex, was much more satisfying than any other. With that being said, we do have spontanenous sex when he works at home. I just stand at his office door and pull my shirt up.....that's all it takes. One day that will probably change. Like, when my boobs are hanging to my knees. __________________ I love my tpf friends

Jun 27th, 2008, 06:55 PM	#10
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 3,643	We have a lot of passion, but not as much sex as I'd like. DH is very huggy and kissy and loving, so I take sex whenever I can get it and try not to dwell on it when he's not in the mood. __________________

Jun 27th, 2008, 09:31 PM	#12
bagnshoofetish No More 4 Me Thanks! Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 15,183	17 years later and we are still all over each other. Get out your barf bags ladies - he LOVES to cuddle. __________________ click here.