[eeyore]

I really enjoyed reading Miss Tiss' thread on "breaks" and it got me thinking....do all men come crawling back?

I started asking around people that I knew...and from what I heard and have experienced...yes..majority do. This isn't necessarily a good thing, but it's interesting to hear other peoples experiences and stats.

So my question to you ladies is if a guy broke up with you, did they come back over time in some way or another? Whether it be by calling you or e-mailing, somehow, did that lightbulb go off in the heads and contacted you?

We can flip the coin and say the same if you broke up with them, did they cut it off completely or still make an attempt over a period of time?

[angel81chick]

Im currently in that situation...my ex and I finally broke it off after a long time of being in limbo.

as my friend predicted, almost 2 months to the date, he contacts me again saying he misses me.

I think in someone way, they all do because they are either lonely or really do regret it. and this definitely goes both ways i think.

[heartnaspade]

The first guy I broke up with didn't necessarily come "crawling back," it wouldn't have been his in his personality and I had made it clear that things between us just weren't working. He did, however, talk to me a few times after that, to try and go out to lunch or whatever, I guess in his attempt to keep things going. It didn't work for obvious reasons, and I haven't spoken to him in a long time.

My current boyfriend broke up with me on Valentines day and was just an absolute a**hole about everything, but within 2 days he was telling me how much he missed me, how much he loved me, etc. I could tell he never really wanted to break up in the first place, but I put up a big fuss before I finally agreed to get back together with him. We've been dating for 2 years now, and I knew our "breakup" wasn't really for good, but the whole thing still pisses me off when I think about it. I won't even get into his "reasoning" behind why he did what he did, or else everyone will think I'm dating a 12 year old. Which I guess in some ways, I am.

[merika]

He did.

He also departed swiftly afterwards.

[merde111]

Many do...sometimes, YEARS later! It seems like every single year, I hear from old boyfriends who are 'testing the waters' by contacting me when they are single for one reason or another (or even in a couple of cases, when they weren't single).

This past year alone, I have gotten emails from at least four old boyfriends. I don't have any desire to rekindle anything, not even a friendship, so I try to give them the polite "Hi, hope all is well with you too; I'm fine; take care, Bye!" response. Several got the message, a couple were slightly offended. But to be honest, I just don't want them in my life any more; our time is over.

I guess a lot of people keep going back to old lovers, but I'm not one of them. If I wanted them, I'd still be with them!

[Wentworth-Roth]

I wouldn't say ALL of them do, but it happens a lot. It happened to me too.

[Frances Bean]

many of them, yup.

[ceseeber]

they usually do, and timing is usually wrong too. My guy, with whom I just broke up with two days ago, even stated in our talk that he needs a break and he can imagine crawling back when he realizes how much he misses me.....is this the modern day break up plan?

[hellosunshine]

for me, yes. My high school boyfriend has been emailing me alot lately and I just choose to not email him back..I've moved on from that era of my life and I refuse to go back to him being completely unreasonable and immature.

but yea I think all ex's always find a way to come back either by checking up on how your doing/friends that you share between you guys/etc.

[nsynchic20]

Not for me. I guess they were all able to move on without any complications.
Oh well, it made it easier for me to move on.

[MissTiss]

Sweet! A spin off thread. Thanks Eeyore!

In the past some have come crawling back. Some even cried into my answering machine. I took one back, but he's long gone now and I thank GOD! Others not so much. I think it depends on the person and the bond. As you might know, I'm in a break period and even though I can't imagine doing this to someone else (telling them to cool their heels while I think) that's what's happening. I refuse to contact him again. Period.

We'll see what he decides.

[aliciamarie]

I think many of them do.

One particularly nasty ex of mine contacted me 3 weeks before his wedding and said, "You know, if you want me... you can still have me."

Um... no thanks.

[helium]

Depends.

Break early on: they probably do because finding another woman wasn't all that easy, and hey look I have one waiting right there. I simply wouldn't entertain any break requests from someone early on because why exactly did you need a break from me again? From the intense burden of four years of relationship where we've found ourselves stuck in a time of non-passion? I think not my friend. If passion dissolved that quickly, think about four years time!

Break about a year in: I don't think so. I think it was just his cheap way of saying 'let's break up'. A year later, the passion would have dissolved, actual relationship, warts and all, has been revealed, and this is always a tricky part for couples. And it really reveals whether they truly love you or not.

Break 2, 3, 4 years in: Most likely. He most likely had a good reason to break in the first place.

And so on so forth.

[Lvbabydoll]

Yup. My bf did.
We took a couple of short breaks (like 3 weeks) a couple of years ago (ok like 4 years ago). Out of nowhere sometimes he'd call me and be like, "were we in a fight?" Lol.
We have done the break thing but we end up missing each other too much. Sometimes we just need our space I guess.

[PinkSuadeSoho]

Hindsight I am grateful that some didn't come back. I wouldn't have moved on as easily, or met the people that I did. It was a learning lesson and made me who I am today. I do think what makes it that much sweeter is when you bump into them, looking better now vs. then. That's always a kicker! :)