[IntlSet]

You bought him a car and a house? You're not his girlfriend, you're his mommy. Cut your hundreds of thousands of dollars of losses + emotional trauma now. And do not let a man take advantage of you again.

[juneping]

i know it's sooo hard to dump a guy when you already put so much effort into this relationship. but sometimes you just need to do what you need to do to be happy - meaning love yourself and stopping investing in this "blackhole" relationship. emtionally you are not happy and sex isn't good..so what's left for you to dwell on??
good luck!!

[artjen]

You need to do what is best for you. This situation is definitely not best for you. It is hard to see that because you are IN the situation rather than looking in from the outside. I think it would be best if you give him a timeline to move out and stay strong. He has it good because you take care of things so he will probably say all kinds of nice things to make you rethink your position. You will be so much better on your own.

[shallow-ish]

First of all, congratulations on owning your own home! You said in your post that you could pay the mortgage without him, but that it would be hard. Get a roommate as some other posters have suggested, and that should ease the stress a bit.

Originally Posted by juneping

i know it's sooo hard to dump a guy when you already put so much effort into this relationship.
good luck!!

- We have a term for this in economics - 'sunk cost'. Just because you have already invested money and time into this relationship does not mean that you should continue to do so. This guy sounds like a scumbag, cut your losses before it gets any worse.

Good luck and I wish you all the best!

[cosmogrl5]

I don't want to be harsh, but this relationship sounds like a total train wreck waiting to happen. Right now you probably feel as though he is driving the train because you are financially and emotionally attached to him. Now is the time to leave before you get in too deep. It may be scary but the alternative of staying with him his WAY scarier IMHO.

[illinirdhd]

I haven't read the original post or any of the replies (I will later though), but based on the thread title, CUT YOUR LOSSES. If this is your question, then there is only one answer, I'm afraid.

[rendodan110]

Originally Posted by razorbackbelle0

^^ I can see the email now....

HEY *&%# GET THE %$#* OUT NOW! I WILL BEAT YOU WITH MY LV LUGGAGE!

I'll and thenand and I couldn't find an emoticon representing sticking a designer shoe up his a$$!!!!!

[illinirdhd]

Originally Posted by rendodan110

I'll and thenand and I couldn't find an emoticon representing sticking a designer shoe up his a$$!!!!!

HEY, we NEED one of those!!!

[sweetneet]

Originally Posted by IntlSet

You bought him a car and a house? You're not his girlfriend, you're his mommy. Cut your hundreds of thousands of dollars of losses + emotional trauma now. And do not let a man take advantage of you again.

Very well said!!

you do not need this guy. unless you want to spend the rest of your life suffering like this (dealing with angry drunk, footing the bill for everything, etc), cut your losses, now.

[SimplyMe]

My heart was with you when I read your post and I'm angry for you.

While I agree with what everyone said that you should leave him, I wouldn't exactly leave with losing all the material things that I had put in the relationship. If it was me, I would take EVERYTHING back that I deserve if not more. Do you know what he is doing to you? He is playing you, big time. He wants to gold dig all that he can and break up with you. If my SO did that to me, he is going to have to pay big time.

If you're confirmed and ready to kick his ass out, then this is what I would suggest you doing. First, plan things out and act cool. Pretend like you don't know what's happening (I know..it'll be hard!). Then sweet talk him into selling the car because I'm assuming it's under his name. Remember YOU KEEP THE CASH! He has intentions of selling it and keeping it as HIS, no way! Tell him you plan to "upgrade" to a better car so you'd need to sell this one first. Then I would take about marriage. If he can pretend, so can you. Tell him marriage requires a lot of money and you're better at planning. Come up with a number that you think is reasonable (the debt that he owes you) and say it's what he should contribute and you'll contribute the other half. If he does fall into the trap, take the money and kick him out of the house immediately! Tell him who's playing who.

Sweetie, this is not love. This guy does not respect you or love you. He probably would've broken up with you long ago if you didn't invest in him. He's playing you and you know it. Take what you deserve and leave that ass behind. You deserve someone who is honest, who will buy YOU a car and pamper you, who will not sneak behind your back to cheat on you. One important thing that I've learn from all the ladies here in TPF is self worth. You're worth way more than you think and trust me, your prince charming will appear in the future. However, you will never know unless you dump the old, so give yourself a chance.

[xoxomandylyn]

Plain and simple. He's saying he's happy because he is taking advantage of you.

KICK.

HIM.

OUT.

NOW.

What are you thinking! If I ever saw an email like that that a$$ would be out of that freaking house in two seconds!

Woman, you need some self-esteem! Get him out of your life this instant!

[xoxomandylyn]

And I wanted to add, my first boyfriend (I've only EVER had two) completely had me wrapped around his pinky. He was a total jerk to me when he started college. Mentally abusive, terribly. I was like you and would do absolutely anything to make him happy.

After we finally separated for good, I promised myself I would never, ever, ever do that again.

Don't do it to yourself. Stand up for yourself. I agree with the above poster. Play HIM, get your stuff back, and get him out of your life. <3 <3 <3

[VPT]

Originally Posted by IntlSet

You bought him a car and a house? You're not his girlfriend, you're his mommy.

You invested more emotions and effort than money into the relationship as I see it. His contribution? Zilch! BIG glaring neon sign he is not interested in pursuing the relationship, don't carry on and time to get out now. If money means alot to you, get a lawyer to try claim some back if you can. He is a big leech and not worthy of another second of your precious time.

[SimplyMe]

Originally Posted by VPT

You invested more emotions and effort than money into the relationship as I see it. His contribution? Zilch! BIG glaring neon sign he is not interested in pursuing the relationship, don't carry on and time to get out now. If money means alot to you, get a lawyer to try claim some back if you can. He is a big leech and not worthy of another second of your precious time.

I don't know but if she had voluntarily bought him a car as a "gift" and it's under his name, then I doubt the judge would rule against him. Hehe I watch those court shows from time to time.

[rendodan110]

Originally Posted by guccime

And I wanted to add, my first boyfriend (I've only EVER had two) completely had me wrapped around his pinky. He was a total jerk to me when he started college. Mentally abusive, terribly. I was like you and would do absolutely anything to make him happy.

After we finally separated for good, I promised myself I would never, ever, ever do that again.

Don't do it to yourself. Stand up for yourself. I agree with the above poster. Play HIM, get your stuff back, and get him out of your life. <3 <3 <3

be strong, you have to break your destructive circle, you deserve a good man and if you look, there is someone for you and he wont be a piece of crap either! good luck and hang in there!!!!! you wouldn't settle for a knock off (wanna be)bag so don't settle for a knock off (wanna be) man.