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Bella · Oct 10th, 2009, 02:51 AM

He likes you, but is obviously seeing someone else. I give the guy some credit for now choosing to be honest with you. Although, I wonder how honest he is with the gal he's seeing about his flirting and your dinner date. Oh well, it sounded fairly innocent, but he seems to have interest in you and is trying to be good at this point. He might not be sure about ending his current relationship. If you like him enough to go out with him when he's single and available, simply let him know that.. at this point respecting all involved. In the meantime you can be friends and/or coworkers. Timing has so much to do with these things. You never know what the future will bring.

cityivy · Oct 10th, 2009, 05:10 PM

maybe he does like me enough to get rid of the other girl. i dunno. i'm not even sure if my response to him was right or not. but i wrote "ok. i'm not interested in seeing someone that's already seeing someone else. good luck to you..."

it was the first thing that came to my mind when i read his message, so that's what i wrote. did i make a mistake??

Pursegrrl · Oct 10th, 2009, 05:26 PM

You'll just have to play this one by ear and go with the flow as others have posted.

There's no right or wrong here. You made it clear that you don't want to see someone who's already seeing someone. The ball's in his court. I'd keep my distance for now until you know for sure he's ended the relationship and is only interested in seeing you, if you still want that.

claireZk · Oct 10th, 2009, 06:15 PM

Ugh I'd stay away from this guy. Just my two cents.

turboflgrl · Oct 11th, 2009, 01:06 AM

Sounds like a jerk. The fact that he's seeing someone else and kissed you (cheek or not) is downright wrong. It's one thing to kiss a friend on the cheek but a totally different thing to kiss someone you have a thing for on the cheek (which he admitted to by saying he wanted to "make out" with you).

Yuck.

frenchtoast · Oct 11th, 2009, 04:41 PM

^^^ Agreed. I would stay away from him. Even if he did leave the other girl for you, how do you know he won't do the exact same thing to you when he finds someone else?

little LV lover · Oct 11th, 2009, 05:58 PM

Hmm, so he's already kissed you AND THEN later he tells you that he's gotta 'clear some things beforehand with someone'? If you do pursue anything with this guy, I'd be very cautious. Just remember, what he did to her, he can also do to you. Good luck!

flashy.stems · Oct 11th, 2009, 06:13 PM

ditch the zero, and find yourself a hero!

cityivy · Oct 11th, 2009, 07:03 PM

i don't mean to defend him, but the kiss on the cheek was just a routine goodbye thing. it doesn't mean anything. i kiss my friends goodbye on the cheek all the time!

claireZk · Oct 12th, 2009, 02:15 PM

^ He still sounds shady though, regardless of the kiss (which I agree was probably nothing).

juneping · Oct 12th, 2009, 02:26 PM

i would give him the credit that he told you he was seeing someone.

but at the mean time i would not wait for him. what you wrote to him was good. you didn't do anything wrong. just live your life and meeting other people. if he does contact you again, make sure he is really single and available...how to find out..??...any MIA is a red flag....GL!!

cityivy · Nov 10th, 2009, 07:25 PM

yikes, i went against everyone's advice...but i can't seem to help myself! i saw him this week (a month after the whole thing blew up). i was sorta avoiding him, but he came up to me right away to talk to me. one thing lead to another and we began communicating again. last friday, we were on call together and we were hanging out talking a lot. we finally kissed (actually we made out for a bit) and tried to go to sleep on the call room bed. i know the whole thing is very grey's anatomy, but it was sweet b/c he never tried to do anything more than kiss me.

last night we were on call together again. repeat of friday night. i jokingly said, "we can't do this. i don't want your other women to be jealous". he said that he had no other women and that "it's finished with his ex gf". i didn't want to probe anymore.

so the truth is...we get along really well. i feel like our conversations could go on forever and i do enjoy spending time with him. and i am totally attracted to him. however, i do have a few reservations. 1. since he's a few years younger than i am...i'm not sure his maturity level is really there. 2. i guess b/c i don't know what happened with him and the other girl, i don't know if this is a rebound thing. 3. is it too early to have these "where are we?" conversations with him?

PurseAddict79 · Nov 10th, 2009, 07:43 PM

^^ WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY too early

You guys have hung out, what, like a handful of times on a more intimate level? If you have that conversation you're bound to freak him out. You'd be backing him into a corner, where he'd feel either obligated to commit right away (which has rebound written all over it), or he'd bail altogether and you'll be left wondering 'what could have been'.

I know your schedules may not allow for a lot of time to 'date', but grabbing a cup of coffee in the middle of your shift or heading to the cafeteria for a meal together would be steps in the right direction.

Charles · Nov 10th, 2009, 09:38 PM

Originally Posted by cityivy

yikes, i went against everyone's advice...but i can't seem to help myself! i saw him this week (a month after the whole thing blew up). i was sorta avoiding him, but he came up to me right away to talk to me. one thing lead to another and we began communicating again. last friday, we were on call together and we were hanging out talking a lot. we finally kissed (actually we made out for a bit) and tried to go to sleep on the call room bed. i know the whole thing is very grey's anatomy, but it was sweet b/c he never tried to do anything more than kiss me.

last night we were on call together again. repeat of friday night. i jokingly said, "we can't do this. i don't want your other women to be jealous". he said that he had no other women and that "it's finished with his ex gf". i didn't want to probe anymore.

so the truth is...we get along really well. i feel like our conversations could go on forever and i do enjoy spending time with him. and i am totally attracted to him. however, i do have a few reservations. 1. since he's a few years younger than i am...i'm not sure his maturity level is really there. 2. i guess b/c i don't know what happened with him and the other girl, i don't know if this is a rebound thing. 3. is it too early to have these "where are we?" conversations with him?

Did he try to contact you in this month that passed?

cityivy · Nov 10th, 2009, 09:46 PM

oh no, he was on vacation in asia for the past >3 weeks. i only meant that i was avoiding him when he came back...

Oct 10th, 2009, 02:51 AM	#16
Bella Earth to Bella Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 4,347	He likes you, but is obviously seeing someone else. I give the guy some credit for now choosing to be honest with you. Although, I wonder how honest he is with the gal he's seeing about his flirting and your dinner date. Oh well, it sounded fairly innocent, but he seems to have interest in you and is trying to be good at this point. He might not be sure about ending his current relationship. If you like him enough to go out with him when he's single and available, simply let him know that.. at this point respecting all involved. In the meantime you can be friends and/or coworkers. Timing has so much to do with these things. You never know what the future will bring.
Bella Earth to Bella Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 4,347	__________________ Last edited by Bella; Oct 10th, 2009 at 02:59 AM.

Oct 10th, 2009, 05:10 PM	#17
cityivy OP Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 106	maybe he does like me enough to get rid of the other girl. i dunno. i'm not even sure if my response to him was right or not. but i wrote "ok. i'm not interested in seeing someone that's already seeing someone else. good luck to you..." it was the first thing that came to my mind when i read his message, so that's what i wrote. did i make a mistake??
cityivy OP Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 106

Oct 10th, 2009, 05:26 PM	#18
Pursegrrl Oh no she di-int!! Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Seattle Posts: 19,276	You'll just have to play this one by ear and go with the flow as others have posted. There's no right or wrong here. You made it clear that you don't want to see someone who's already seeing someone. The ball's in his court. I'd keep my distance for now until you know for sure he's ended the relationship and is only interested in seeing you, if you still want that.
	__________________ My Blog: five-nineteen.blogspot.com Tweet tweet: twitter.com/five19

Oct 10th, 2009, 06:15 PM	#19
claireZk Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,691	Ugh I'd stay away from this guy. Just my two cents.
claireZk Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,691	__________________ http://loveshimmer.blogspot.com/ When life gives you lemons, just say f@#$ the lemons and bail...

Oct 11th, 2009, 01:06 AM	#20
turboflgrl Sofa King Addicted Joined: Jun 2008 Location: The Beach! Posts: 448	Sounds like a jerk. The fact that he's seeing someone else and kissed you (cheek or not) is downright wrong. It's one thing to kiss a friend on the cheek but a totally different thing to kiss someone you have a thing for on the cheek (which he admitted to by saying he wanted to "make out" with you). Yuck.
	__________________ ~Ashley~ "Unbanned and ready..." Wish List: Christian Louboutin Black Pigalle LV Ebony Damier Speedy 30 Hermes Cartouche Bracelet Love Quotes Scarves

Oct 11th, 2009, 04:41 PM	#21
frenchtoast Member Joined: Jul 2009 Location: Roanoke, VA Posts: 432	^^^ Agreed. I would stay away from him. Even if he did leave the other girl for you, how do you know he won't do the exact same thing to you when he finds someone else?

Oct 11th, 2009, 05:58 PM	#22
little LV lover Because I can... Joined: Apr 2007 Location: Where do you live? Posts: 1,339	Hmm, so he's already kissed you AND THEN later he tells you that he's gotta 'clear some things beforehand with someone'? If you do pursue anything with this guy, I'd be very cautious. Just remember, what he did to her, he can also do to you. Good luck!

Oct 11th, 2009, 06:13 PM	#23
flashy.stems Hermès Hottie Joined: Jun 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 2,003	ditch the zero, and find yourself a hero!

Oct 11th, 2009, 07:03 PM	#24
cityivy OP Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 106	i don't mean to defend him, but the kiss on the cheek was just a routine goodbye thing. it doesn't mean anything. i kiss my friends goodbye on the cheek all the time!
cityivy OP Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 106

Oct 12th, 2009, 02:15 PM	#25
claireZk Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,691	^ He still sounds shady though, regardless of the kiss (which I agree was probably nothing).
claireZk Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,691	__________________ http://loveshimmer.blogspot.com/ When life gives you lemons, just say f@#$ the lemons and bail...

Oct 12th, 2009, 02:26 PM	#26
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,315	i would give him the credit that he told you he was seeing someone. but at the mean time i would not wait for him. what you wrote to him was good. you didn't do anything wrong. just live your life and meeting other people. if he does contact you again, make sure he is really single and available...how to find out..??...any MIA is a red flag....GL!!
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Nov 10th, 2009, 07:25 PM	#27
cityivy OP Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 106	yikes, i went against everyone's advice...but i can't seem to help myself! i saw him this week (a month after the whole thing blew up). i was sorta avoiding him, but he came up to me right away to talk to me. one thing lead to another and we began communicating again. last friday, we were on call together and we were hanging out talking a lot. we finally kissed (actually we made out for a bit) and tried to go to sleep on the call room bed. i know the whole thing is very grey's anatomy, but it was sweet b/c he never tried to do anything more than kiss me. last night we were on call together again. repeat of friday night. i jokingly said, "we can't do this. i don't want your other women to be jealous". he said that he had no other women and that "it's finished with his ex gf". i didn't want to probe anymore. so the truth is...we get along really well. i feel like our conversations could go on forever and i do enjoy spending time with him. and i am totally attracted to him. however, i do have a few reservations. 1. since he's a few years younger than i am...i'm not sure his maturity level is really there. 2. i guess b/c i don't know what happened with him and the other girl, i don't know if this is a rebound thing. 3. is it too early to have these "where are we?" conversations with him?
cityivy OP Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 106

Nov 10th, 2009, 07:43 PM	#28
PurseAddict79 PerpetuallyPenniless Joined: Sep 2008 Location: The Mall Posts: 1,226	^^ WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY too early You guys have hung out, what, like a handful of times on a more intimate level? If you have that conversation you're bound to freak him out. You'd be backing him into a corner, where he'd feel either obligated to commit right away (which has rebound written all over it), or he'd bail altogether and you'll be left wondering 'what could have been'. I know your schedules may not allow for a lot of time to 'date', but grabbing a cup of coffee in the middle of your shift or heading to the cafeteria for a meal together would be steps in the right direction.

Nov 10th, 2009, 09:46 PM	#30
cityivy OP Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 106	oh no, he was on vacation in asia for the past >3 weeks. i only meant that i was avoiding him when he came back...
cityivy OP Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 106

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