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vhdos · Jul 4th, 2009, 11:28 AM

DH and I are pretty much over buying extravagant gifts for each other. We still buy gifts, but typically we each pick something out and buy it for each other. Yes, it takes a little bit of the fun out of it because there are no surprises, but at least we know we are getting exactly what we want.

hairsprayhead · Jul 5th, 2009, 04:00 AM

Ah. I think a lot of us have been there, done that with the men in our life. Guys have different tastes in things, and aren't always the most receptive to hints.

Husband is a great gift giver (thankfully!). But I have gotten a few things that have made me scratch my head a bit and think, "Hm. Not something I would have picked out for myself, but okay."

You know I have found helps? Asking husband why he picked it out for me. Not in a snippy, mean way- truly inquiring why he thought that was something I needed to have.

OP, my husband is just like yours- he puts A LOT of thought into gifts. He doesn't buy something just to buy it- he has reasons for buying it. Asking him to explain why he thought the gift was the right thing for me helps me "assign" a good, positive feeling to that object, even if I might not entirely have them at first.

Like with the ruby necklace- it took him an hour to pick it out! That's pretty darn sweet (in a gushy, gooey, lovey way of course!). I would love to know what he was thinking about when he decided it was the right thing for you. You should ask! It might make you look at it in a completely new and different way.

Magdeline · Jul 5th, 2009, 04:08 AM

^ Aww, that's sweet, hairsprayhead!! I like your advice alot and I never would have thought of it myself! I think it would be so perfect in the OP's case.

Nieners · Jul 5th, 2009, 05:38 AM

I would just keep it and wear it from time to time to make him happy too. I think it's very sweet of him!

msJenna · Jul 5th, 2009, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by natalie78

I know DH thinks so hard about the gifts he gives me and he really tries, but he is a horrible gift giver. When we get close to Xmas or by Bday, I will drop several hints about what I want. Those hints go right over his head...

A few years ago, he gave me a big ruby pendant necklace for my bday. I rarely wear jewelry and I thought the necklace was absolutely hideous. I ended up having to go back to the store to get a new chain. The salesperson told me that DH spent over an hour in the store picking it out. I felt horrible for not liking it. This year, he got me a handbag that I don't like at all. Again, I know he probably spent hours trying to figure out what to get me. And again, I feel like an *ss for not liking the gift.

I hate feeling ungrateful. I do love him and the fact that he puts so much thought into my gifts...I just don't like the gifts. I have been beating myself up all morning.

Anyone else ever feel the same way?

I had an ex boyfriend who bought me an eiffel tower shapped back pack.
And this was when I had LV bags.
An Eiffel tower shapped backpack... are you kidding me?
I have never been so mortified in my life.

I know some people may think this is rude but when I start dating a new boyfriend I sit him down and I tell him the eiffel tower story.

So now all my boyfriends know to ask me what I want for my bday/christmas and I tell them a few things I like and I let them pick out one and surprise me.
That way it's still a surprise and they chose it, but it's even better for me and them because they'll know I love it.

In the past though, when I got crappy gifts I'd just suck it up and pretend to like them and wear it. I made myself like it because it was a gift, but I didn't actually.

And yes, incase you were wondering I had to wear the eiffel tower back pack out in public.,,

Glamfoxx · Jul 5th, 2009, 10:57 AM

You are a good sport for wearing the Eiffel Tower backpack in public msJenna!

msJenna · Jul 5th, 2009, 07:41 PM

Originally Posted by Glamfoxx

You are a good sport for wearing the Eiffel Tower backpack in public msJenna!

So embarrassing!!

lvuittonaddict · Jul 6th, 2009, 01:05 AM

im kind of the same. sometimes my BF gets it perfect-other times.... my purse reveal coming up is a gift im getting from him. he's described it to me and from the description, its hideous. lol. but its growing on me because he picked it out and loves it. i think a lot of times he gets me things that he likes, even if i've been blatantly obvious of what i want. but oh well, they're gifts

NIUiceprincess · Jul 6th, 2009, 12:24 PM

I have no problem telling DH what I want even when we weren't married yet. When the Dooney and Bourke It bag first came out, I sent him the link to the website (lol) and that's what he got me for Christmas. I know gifts are gifts and the thought behind it is more important, but if somoene really asks you what you want then you are doing them a favor by telling them.

I think making a wish list is also a great idea so they have price ranges and a variety to choose from. It also makes shopping easier for them as we know some men are just uncomfortable spending more time than necessary at a store :) I gave hubby a Sephora wish list and he used that a few years ago. In my family, we also just ask each other what exactly we'd like to get, but turns out in hubby's family they also do the wish list thing and post it on the fridge, and the parents/siblings talk amongst themselves who is buying what.

As time went on hubby has gotten great at guessing what I want, he knows I like anything Juicy, LV, BCBG, or Benefit makeup or TV on DVD. his only gripe is that he is worried he'll get something I have already so he'll ask me for the actual specific item to time. Also he has come to be able to suggest things that I may not consider at first myself, but end up liking, based on what he has learned about me, which is pretty good. He gave me some nice sweaters from Old Navy last year which he picked out himself (when first of all I don't even really shop there anymore since high school). Or if we're at one of my favorite stores then he'll also browse for me and bring out stuff he thinks will look nice.

I do have to warn him that my lotions and some lip balms are NOT edible though (he likes sniffing them).

So I think men CAN be trained :)!

As for my engagement ring I just told him I just want white gold and princess cut stone...no preference on stone size/weight, store to get it from, band width...so he worked with my requirements and gave me my ring which I love.

ilove6kies · Jul 7th, 2009, 12:51 AM

I totally understand where OP is coming from...

My DH is wonderful, but he hates shopping so most of the time it's hard for him to focus on all the different bags/shoes/clothes I want...also I am a very specific person :P

So pretty much I would tell him what to buy me, and he will get it for me. It has been working out pretty good so far, can't complain...the only thing is, there goes the whole "surprise" element, but whatevs!!!

meganfm · Jul 7th, 2009, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by canada's

agreed.

i don't have much advice either, other than giving him a pre-approved list of thing you'd like for said occasion. some men aren't comfortable with this though.

i'm lucky when it comes to this. my SO listens me to me like crazy and i always end up with things i want/would have bought myself. once i was in his apartment and there was a little piece of paper on his desk that said, "decil black patent 37.5/38, simple pumps black patent 37.5." i have yet to receive either, but it was an incredibly thoughtful gesture to bother to write such a thing down as i blab on and on about shoes over the phone.

That's so sweet! The fact that he tries to remember those things :)

My boyfriend hates picking out gifts-our first Christmas together he gave me cash LOL. Then for my bday he gave me his old iPhone (I was going to buy it off him-although that was a good gift in a way because I really wanted an iPhone but couldn't afford one new at the time). He actually hates gifts in general-so I usually have to drop VERY obvious hints.

I think in the end, it's a gift so you should be grateful for it. Although it depends-are you financially able to buy the things you really WANT on your own? If so, then just buy them yourself! :P

Florasun · Jul 7th, 2009, 06:24 PM

Originally Posted by exotikittenx

^^^ LOL! Ohh, the vacuum- certainly a magnificent gift to bestow! I think it's really a rite of passage to receive some sort of appliance for a gift at least once in your life.

LOL! Agree - it's when you know your relationship is SOLID! I got a frying pan my first married Christmas.

OP - your husband sounds like such a sweetie. Especially with the dish thing. He is really trying hard to get something you like. Have you tried suggesting a gift card? Not as romantic, I know - but at least you can buy what you want...

ver0nique · Jul 7th, 2009, 06:32 PM

Originally Posted by Florasun

LOL! Agree - it's when you know your relationship is SOLID! I got a frying pan my first married Christmas.

Whoa, I better remember this when my future DH does that one day.

dallas · Jul 7th, 2009, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by Florasun

LOL! Agree - it's when you know your relationship is SOLID! I got a frying pan my first married Christmas.

Ahh, yes. Talk of frying pans and vacuum cleaners brings back memories. The second Christmas with my DH (then bf) was a memorable one. He proudly announced that he was buying me a pair of diamond earrings and I thought woohoo! I was so excited, I couldn't believe it and, turns out, I shouldn't have. Christmas morning he presented me with a huuuge box and inside was ... a bloody bread maker. I remember looking at him with a fake smile frozen on my face and he said "I was going to get you earrings but I didn't know whether to buy white or yellow gold and there was so many different styles ... so I got you a bread maker cos' I know you like to cook."
Yeah, that makes sense.

winnie83 · Jul 7th, 2009, 06:58 PM

This is not uncommon...lol :) My bf and I just tell ask/tell each other what we want as gifts, hehe...may not sound romantic but at least nothing goes to waste and everyone's happy.

Jul 4th, 2009, 11:28 AM	#31
vhdos Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,144	DH and I are pretty much over buying extravagant gifts for each other. We still buy gifts, but typically we each pick something out and buy it for each other. Yes, it takes a little bit of the fun out of it because there are no surprises, but at least we know we are getting exactly what we want.
vhdos Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,144	__________________ visit Bonanzle.com

Jul 5th, 2009, 04:00 AM	#32
hairsprayhead YouTellMeDoingWhat Joined: Mar 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 728	Ah. I think a lot of us have been there, done that with the men in our life. Guys have different tastes in things, and aren't always the most receptive to hints. Husband is a great gift giver (thankfully!). But I have gotten a few things that have made me scratch my head a bit and think, "Hm. Not something I would have picked out for myself, but okay." You know I have found helps? Asking husband why he picked it out for me. Not in a snippy, mean way- truly inquiring why he thought that was something I needed to have. OP, my husband is just like yours- he puts A LOT of thought into gifts. He doesn't buy something just to buy it- he has reasons for buying it. Asking him to explain why he thought the gift was the right thing for me helps me "assign" a good, positive feeling to that object, even if I might not entirely have them at first. Like with the ruby necklace- it took him an hour to pick it out! That's pretty darn sweet (in a gushy, gooey, lovey way of course!). I would love to know what he was thinking about when he decided it was the right thing for you. You should ask! It might make you look at it in a completely new and different way.
	__________________ http://chloeconspiracy.blogspot.com

Jul 5th, 2009, 04:08 AM	#33
Magdeline Crazy in LVoe Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 548	^ Aww, that's sweet, hairsprayhead!! I like your advice alot and I never would have thought of it myself! I think it would be so perfect in the OP's case.
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Jul 5th, 2009, 05:38 AM	#34
Nieners ❀ ♥ Loubounista ♥ ❀ Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Alaska in winter Posts: 2,353	I would just keep it and wear it from time to time to make him happy too. I think it's very sweet of him!
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Jul 5th, 2009, 10:57 AM	#36
Glamfoxx Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,393	You are a good sport for wearing the Eiffel Tower backpack in public msJenna!
Glamfoxx Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,393

Jul 6th, 2009, 01:05 AM	#38
lvuittonaddict Avada Kadavra Joined: Sep 2007 Location: Bethesda, MD Posts: 3,648	im kind of the same. sometimes my BF gets it perfect-other times.... my purse reveal coming up is a gift im getting from him. he's described it to me and from the description, its hideous. lol. but its growing on me because he picked it out and loves it. i think a lot of times he gets me things that he likes, even if i've been blatantly obvious of what i want. but oh well, they're gifts
	__________________ Wishlist '05 Black City '05 Green Apple City '07 Anthracite City with GSH '08 Electric Blue City with GGH '09 Black Mid Day with GCH

Jul 6th, 2009, 12:24 PM	#39
NIUiceprincess Member Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 224	I have no problem telling DH what I want even when we weren't married yet. When the Dooney and Bourke It bag first came out, I sent him the link to the website (lol) and that's what he got me for Christmas. I know gifts are gifts and the thought behind it is more important, but if somoene really asks you what you want then you are doing them a favor by telling them. I think making a wish list is also a great idea so they have price ranges and a variety to choose from. It also makes shopping easier for them as we know some men are just uncomfortable spending more time than necessary at a store :) I gave hubby a Sephora wish list and he used that a few years ago. In my family, we also just ask each other what exactly we'd like to get, but turns out in hubby's family they also do the wish list thing and post it on the fridge, and the parents/siblings talk amongst themselves who is buying what. As time went on hubby has gotten great at guessing what I want, he knows I like anything Juicy, LV, BCBG, or Benefit makeup or TV on DVD. his only gripe is that he is worried he'll get something I have already so he'll ask me for the actual specific item to time. Also he has come to be able to suggest things that I may not consider at first myself, but end up liking, based on what he has learned about me, which is pretty good. He gave me some nice sweaters from Old Navy last year which he picked out himself (when first of all I don't even really shop there anymore since high school). Or if we're at one of my favorite stores then he'll also browse for me and bring out stuff he thinks will look nice. I do have to warn him that my lotions and some lip balms are NOT edible though (he likes sniffing them). So I think men CAN be trained :)! As for my engagement ring I just told him I just want white gold and princess cut stone...no preference on stone size/weight, store to get it from, band width...so he worked with my requirements and gave me my ring which I love.
NIUiceprincess Member Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 224

Jul 7th, 2009, 12:51 AM	#40
ilove6kies LF My Next Chanel!!! Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Toronto Posts: 481	I totally understand where OP is coming from... My DH is wonderful, but he hates shopping so most of the time it's hard for him to focus on all the different bags/shoes/clothes I want...also I am a very specific person :P So pretty much I would tell him what to buy me, and he will get it for me. It has been working out pretty good so far, can't complain...the only thing is, there goes the whole "surprise" element, but whatevs!!!

Jul 7th, 2009, 06:58 PM	#45
winnie83 Member Joined: May 2008 Location: Sunnyvale, CA Posts: 391	This is not uncommon...lol :) My bf and I just tell ask/tell each other what we want as gifts, hehe...may not sound romantic but at least nothing goes to waste and everyone's happy.
	__________________ ~My perfect trio~ Damier Speedy 25, Mono Zippy Coin Purse, Tivoli GM

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