Dating Guy Friend?

NY Chick · Jul 5th, 2008, 03:50 AM

Okay...so here's the lowdown. My guy friend who I have known for one year broke up with his girlfriend 6 months ago. Both of us are attracted to each other but we don't really say it or mention it. We have more of a big brother/little sister relationship sort of thing.

He asked me out on a date... I said yes!

I know this isn't a rebound kind of thing.

Im not sure if saying 'yes' was the correct thing to do. I like him and he likes me. ( we've established that)

im not sure if i can see myself with him for a long time... ( im confused)

im afraid that if we do go out and breakup that we won't be speaking ( which is very common)

should i just tell him that staying friends is better than going out???!!!

any experiences or suggestions would be great!!!

Thanks!!

nataliam1976 · Jul 5th, 2008, 06:10 AM

I think its very individual and only you are able to decide..how much do you value the friendship? are you willing to sacrifice it if the relationship doesnt work out? You are right, not many friendships survive the switch to romantical involvement.

I guess it all boils down to how much you want him to be your friend and how much you want to try and be someone even more important for him. I would give it a go if I were you.

In my experience guys are not just friends with gals without hidden agendas anyway, consciously or subconsciously. Before I get blasted, I repeat - in my experience. I have yet to meet a real male friend who isnt gay.

VPT · Jul 5th, 2008, 06:13 AM

Just take it one step at a time who knows he might just be The One? As for break ups and destroyed friendships, let's not talk about it till the time comes and if it doesn't, great! There are many couples that start off being close friends first.

lovinalotofbags · Jul 5th, 2008, 01:47 PM

Take it slow and focus on being great friends and see where your feelings and interests lie. Do you guys share some of the same things? What is your outlook on life and his? Do not complicate things with sex. Make your feelings known to him. I think you guys can go and have fun but have no expectations of a sexual relationship until both of you can handle the consequences that may arise if it does not work out.

April_Skye · Jul 5th, 2008, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VPT

There are many couples that start off being close friends first.

This actually gives you a bit of a headstart and it really makes the relationship so much more enjoyable and pure. And it feels serious because it is serious.
Id say go for it - slowly.
But my only concern is the 6 months... thats not very long. Id make extra sure he was ready for this before you dived in the deep end. Good luck!

Jul 5th, 2008, 03:50 AM	#1
NY Chick Member	Dating Guy Friend? Okay...so here's the lowdown. My guy friend who I have known for one year broke up with his girlfriend 6 months ago. Both of us are attracted to each other but we don't really say it or mention it. We have more of a big brother/little sister relationship sort of thing. He asked me out on a date... I said yes! I know this isn't a rebound kind of thing. Im not sure if saying 'yes' was the correct thing to do. I like him and he likes me. ( we've established that) im not sure if i can see myself with him for a long time... ( im confused) im afraid that if we do go out and breakup that we won't be speaking ( which is very common) should i just tell him that staying friends is better than going out???!!! any experiences or suggestions would be great!!! Thanks!!

Jul 5th, 2008, 06:10 AM	#2
nataliam1976 Hmmmph Location: all around Europe	I think its very individual and only you are able to decide..how much do you value the friendship? are you willing to sacrifice it if the relationship doesnt work out? You are right, not many friendships survive the switch to romantical involvement. I guess it all boils down to how much you want him to be your friend and how much you want to try and be someone even more important for him. I would give it a go if I were you. In my experience guys are not just friends with gals without hidden agendas anyway, consciously or subconsciously. Before I get blasted, I repeat - in my experience. I have yet to meet a real male friend who isnt gay. __________________ "Buy me, Lady" said the frock, "and I will make you into a BEAUTIFUL and WHOLE and COMPLETE human being". "Do not be SILLY", said the Man, " for a frock alone cannot do that". "TRUE" said the Lady. " I shall have the Shoes and the Bag as well".

Jul 5th, 2008, 06:13 AM	#3
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Location: Singapore / Vancouver	Just take it one step at a time who knows he might just be The One? As for break ups and destroyed friendships, let's not talk about it till the time comes and if it doesn't, great! There are many couples that start off being close friends first. __________________

Jul 5th, 2008, 01:47 PM	#4
lovinalotofbags In for the long haul Location: South Carolina	Take it slow and focus on being great friends and see where your feelings and interests lie. Do you guys share some of the same things? What is your outlook on life and his? Do not complicate things with sex. Make your feelings known to him. I think you guys can go and have fun but have no expectations of a sexual relationship until both of you can handle the consequences that may arise if it does not work out. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.